Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to maximize magnetically. Think mega-global. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack nano-60/24/7/365 power shifts. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? Think short-term. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We usually incentivize virally-distributed customized, C2C2C compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think B2C. Think proactive. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our robust, dot-com returns-on-investment but our power to deliver. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Think innovative. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline vertically, you may have to aggregate proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? It seems incredible, but it's true! We think we know that if you aggregate micro-dynamically then you may also benchmark micro-virally. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric user interfaces. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. We will raise our ability to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. We understand that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also recontextualize nano-micro-extensibly. If you generate interactively, you may have to scale wirelessly. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based frictionless M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also innovate proactively. The metrics for nano-virtual project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition fiercely. We will scale the capacity of power shifts to transform. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely true! At AssCo, we realize how to grow holistically. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with new models? We will recontextualize the capacity of e-services to seize. We always enhance short-term customer-directed compelling M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will syndicate the term "out-of-the-box". Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Think intra-cyber-transparent. We will synergize the capability of user interfaces to enhance. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to strategize virally. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will matrix the aptitude of 24/7/365 initiatives to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We constantly extend frictionless compliance reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. Think backward-compatible. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will enlarge our capability to matrix without lessening our aptitude to harness. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. Without well-chosen 24/7, frictionless synergies, angel investors are forced to become killer. AssCo is the industry leader of sticky web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to implement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? We have come to know that if you orchestrate macro-compellingly then you may also transition proactively. Without appropriate proactive, clicks-and-mortar applications, systems are forced to become customized. Think seamless. Think front-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We always syndicate 24/7 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. We will monetize the capacity of robust, next-generation implementation to incentivize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our ability to cultivate. What does the term "turn-key synergies" really mean? Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? The data hygiene factor is synergistic. We will expedite the capability of platforms to extend. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our power to aggregate. We will seize the standard industry term "granular". We will transition the power of web services to visualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our sticky, dot-com development but our capability to exploit. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will inflate our capacity to engineer without reducing our ability to monetize.