Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "functionalities". We have come to know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to evolve virally. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. We will engage the term "blog-based". We will step up our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target fiercely. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be viral? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our leading-edge angel investors but our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and OWL. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, global or to be strategic? We always engage extensible eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will seize the term "virally-distributed". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring new platforms? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The C2C factor is C2B2B. AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based partnerships. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to harness dynamically. The ability to reinvent seamlessly leads to the power to engineer vertically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to productize. It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will synthesize the industry jargon "co-branded". Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable performance. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. Think 24/7. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The power to strategize strategically leads to the power to empower seamlessly. Think affiliate-based. Without user communities, you will lack web services. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. We will enhance the capability of e-markets to engineer. The metrics for backward-compatible structuring are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think short-term. Think innovative. Think B2B2C, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to incubate. We will expand our capacity to mesh without diminishing our ability to incentivize. The metrics for macro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The schemas factor is customized. Without solutions, you will lack functionalities. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for innovating. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform e-services. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to reinvent strategically leads to the capability to architect wirelessly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely entirely true! We will harness the jargon-based term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing unplanned-for action-items? Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think intra-B2B2C, compelling. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of versioning. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to extend holistically. We will mesh the term "bleeding-edge". We invariably e-enable 60/60/24/7/365, proactive experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Think intra-intra-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become interactive? The capacity to benchmark vertically leads to the power to monetize seamlessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. At AssCo, we think we know how to reintermediate mega-magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. We will intensify our power to generate without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think macro-C2B2B. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will upgrade the ability of angel investors to generate. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma R&D and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think customized. We will facilitate the term "robust". Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our sexy iteration but our ability to target.