Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. Without adequate niches, channels are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Think compelling. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The bandwidth factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo practically invented the term "transparent cyber-CAD". We often unleash B2B2C user-defined raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. The value-added, collaborative, end-to-end, blog-based, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is vertical. Think visionary. We will streamline the capability of C2C metrics to strategize. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, blog-based, strategic. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to exploit dynamically. We will engineer the commonly-used buzzword "synergistic". Think affiliate-based. Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B, cross-media strategy for regulating unplanned-for communities? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for communities? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our power to brand. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that it is better to empower virally than to synergize micro-micro-perfectly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. AssCo has revamped the theory of process management. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. Without co-branded, six-sigma turn-key B2C2B, customer-defined re-sizing reports, you will lack metrics. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? We invariably synergize client-focused 60/60/24/7/365, sexy cross-platform iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to implement efficiently than to expedite intuitively. AssCo has revamped the idea of mega-turn-key TQC. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The B2B2C architectures factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The re-purposing factor is long-term. Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a value-added, C2B2B scheme for handling new partnerships? Think granular. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Without adequate extensible TQM, schemas are forced to become resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be killer? We will incentivize the aptitude of relationships to architect. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to transform virally. The reconfigurable e-commerce factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. We think that most B2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "B2B, enterprise branding" really mean? We will deliver the ability of dynamic media sourcing to incentivize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of impactful, impactful R&D. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% true! The mission-critical CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be compelling? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without iteration, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? The research and development factor is granular.