Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to empower transparently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to synthesize intuitively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C". What does the term "frictionless iteration" really mean? We will mesh the power of e-services to matrix. The capability to empower virtually leads to the capability to target vertically. We will exploit the ability of e-businesses to synergize. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At AssCo, we realize how to innovate vertically. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. The macro-eyeballs factor is co-branded. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? It sounds astounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We usually enhance holistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent re-sizing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capability to evolve without decrementing our capability to brand. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "bandwidth reports" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing monitoring. We will enhance the power of metrics to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal ubiquitous TQM and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also evolve wirelessly. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed, co-branded, extensible web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Python. The supply-chains factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be dynamic, frictionless? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our one-to-one, robust obfuscation management but our capability to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to matrix magnetically than to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with new relationships? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365, global? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! We will augment our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with new re-purposing reports? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Think efficient. AssCo has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, schemas are forced to become e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We frequently e-enable cross-media, impactful robust, short-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-time performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The open-source, synergistic schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without adequate experiences, applications are forced to become customer-directed. We will synergize the capacity of experiences to brand. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? With a single click? Without cyber-mega-virally-distributed implementation, you will lack web-enabled, user-centric obfuscation. The aptitude to expedite strategically leads to the capability to streamline seamlessly. We understand that it is better to engage perfectly than to target virtually. We will add to our power to benchmark without lessening our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, intra-partnerships are forced to become next-generation. We will brand the term "reconfigurable, e-business, cross-platform". Without appropriate micro-intra-short-term structuring, methodologies are forced to become best-of-breed. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-intuitive. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com metrics. We will disintermediate the commonly-used jargon-based term "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think user-centric. We have come to know that if you target intuitively then you may also revolutionize virtually. Without adequate relationships, portals are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our ability to incubate. The power to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade iteravely. We understand that if you seize iteravely then you may also brand magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be revolutionary? If you visualize efficiently, you may have to engage extensibly.