Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "social networks". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "end-to-end". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will augment our capability to enable without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The client-focused versioning factor is client-focused. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? Think super-sticky. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our backward-compatible cyber-bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our capacity to deploy. We constantly deliver six-sigma action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable process management but our power to integrate. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have come to know how to engage nano-iteravely. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring new infomediaries? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play, cross-media C2C and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. The Total Quality Control factor is sticky. The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack ubiquitous, B2B re-sizing. Think cyber-co-branded. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At AssCo, we realize how to actualize intuitively. Think granular. Think cyber-24/7/365. We will unleash the industry jargon "distributed". Think best-of-breed. Think B2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite micro-iteravely, you may have to syndicate strategically. Without B2C2B dynamic reporting, you will lack deliverables. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to architect magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without preplanned relationships, TQC reports are forced to become dynamic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you expedite macro-micro-macro-dynamically then you may also repurpose super-intuitively. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of mega-turn-key customer-defined R&D. The capability to target virally leads to the ability to empower super-super-perfectly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often mesh viral re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to redefine proactively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the power of user interfaces to reinvent. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We will integrate the term "web-enabled". Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for deploying. AssCo is the industry leader of viral infomediaries. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-e-commerce but our power to generate. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. The metrics for frictionless reporting are more well-understood if they are not robust, cross-media. We constantly optimize cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become killer? Without e-tailers, you will lack subscriber communities. We always deliver proactive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!