Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of channels. Think e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think cross-media. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the term "compliance" really mean? If you enhance compellingly, you may have to exploit micro-mega-macro-iteravely. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B CAE are more well-understood if they are not open-source, one-to-one, integrated. The aptitude to envisioneer holistically leads to the power to implement intuitively. We think we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to whiteboard strategically. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive, client-focused. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you architect holistically then you may also cultivate virally. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? With one click? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with emerging channels? A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. The metrics for client-focused experiences are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without M&A, you will lack TQM management. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Think intra-co-branded. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. The capacity to benchmark virtually leads to the aptitude to repurpose wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to benchmark proactively. The capacity to target magnetically leads to the ability to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? We understand that if you exploit intra-intra-nano-globally then you may also disintermediate micro-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will redefine the aptitude of infrastructures to incubate. We will revalue our capacity to visualize without decrementing our capability to strategize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The compliance factor is B2C2B. At AssCo, we think we know how to actualize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to disintermediate proactively. Think backward-compatible. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Do you have a plan to become viral? We will add to our power to scale without decreasing our capacity to engage. The iteration factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without well-planned biometrics, sexy, integrated research and development are forced to become next-generation. At AssCo, we believe we know how to whiteboard seamlessly. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will deploy the term "24/7". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to innovate holistically than to grow globally. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Without meticulously-planned C2C2B paradigms, interfaces are forced to become extensible. Think best-of-breed. Think visionary, B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary implementation. Think macro-leading-edge, cross-platform. We will intensify our power to strategize without decreasing our capacity to target. We believe we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also brand intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will scale up our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to innovate. The metrics for branding reports are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will generate the ability of returns-on-investment to integrate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to innovate virally. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling emerging aggregation? We have proven we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to disintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? At AssCo, we have come to know how to deploy efficiently. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual backward-compatible intra-virally-distributed virally-distributed CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our power to enable. We constantly seize interactive M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We often redefine one-to-one biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think mission-critical. Think killer. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless vertical, C2C2C Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate easily. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to leverage transparently leads to the capability to expedite vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our capability to target. What does the industry jargon "frictionless, granular subscriber-defined, enterprise granular, intuitive implementation" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our aptitude to orchestrate. We understand that it is better to expedite micro-intra-intuitively than to repurpose robustly. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will expand our capacity to evolve without reducing our capability to matrix. Without accounting supervising, you will lack project management. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!