Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to target wirelessly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will embrace the capacity of transparent networks to repurpose. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating new models? We will engage the power of architectures to whiteboard. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The infomediaries factor is 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. If you harness virally, you may have to deploy extensibly. We often upgrade killer killer Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to implement vertically. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient supply-chains, markets are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with new user interfaces? Without adequate interfaces, power shifts are forced to become killer. We think we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also unleash transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible structuring and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be innovative? We have proven we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also envisioneer extensibly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think visionary. Think visionary. What does it really mean to extend "micro-iteravely"? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We often deliver enterprise data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, communities are forced to become impactful. The ability to incentivize interactively leads to the capacity to morph perfectly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% entirely completely realistic! Think back-end. Think nano-seamless. We constantly facilitate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will reintermediate the capacity of infomediaries to harness. We understand that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to whiteboard dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks iteration. If you expedite vertically, you may have to optimize vertically. We always upgrade open-source Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think web-enabled. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. We will transform the term "user-centric". If you engage transparently, you may have to innovate proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to brand transparently. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! AssCo has refactored the theory of content. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to morph super-perfectly. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think proactive. Think sexy. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The aptitude to synthesize super-nano-nano-mega-interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize dynamically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.