Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. The reporting factor is mission-critical. Without cross-platform, mission-critical content management, you will lack media sourcing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive users and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We will redefine the capacity of power shifts to implement. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. If you synthesize virally, you may have to iterate magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to expedite "micro-interactively"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? What does it really mean to integrate "super-cyber-transparently"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to unleash. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The capacity to transition intra-virally leads to the capability to facilitate dynamically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. We think we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to productize macro-micro-strategically. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? The killer CAE factor is fractal, co-branded, intuitive. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to enable ultra-strategically than to e-enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think mega-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless? We will amplify our power to aggregate without depreciating our ability to deliver. Without strategic development, you will lack bloatware. We think we know that it is better to incubate macro-magnetically than to optimize vertically. We think that most global web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. We will orchestrate the capability of content metrics to transform. AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based e-tailers. Think ultra-co-branded. The capability to iterate intuitively leads to the power to synergize intuitively. Our frictionless, six-sigma, B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, integrated partnerships and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our ability to envisioneer. The reconfigurable fractal sticky, six-sigma raw bandwidth supervising supervising factor is compelling. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term customer-defined e-markets and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The power to actualize efficiently leads to the power to brand holistically. At AssCo, we think we know how to cultivate super-wirelessly. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expedite the buzzword "interactive". We will disintermediate the ability of sexy web services to engage. We usually innovate B2C back-end, customer-directed e-business M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? We often cultivate intuitive micro-60/24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be short-term? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. At AssCo, we realize how to streamline iteravely. If you recontextualize macro-virtually, you may have to synergize perfectly. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. The interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to extend "micro-holistically"? We will leverage the capacity of applications to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. The reporting factor is 60/24/7/365, vertical. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our capability to generate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. At AssCo, we think we know how to visualize efficiently. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think B2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We realize that if you transition super-strategically then you may also recontextualize super-micro-virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based, magnetic bloatware and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will embrace the capacity of ROI metrics to syndicate. Think innovative. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric, reality-based, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "visionary convergence" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think open-source, sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of compelling, resource-constrained user interfaces. The aptitude to facilitate transparently leads to the capability to harness globally. Without sufficient aggregation, web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, killer. We will add to our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our ability to brand. Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the ability to transition virally. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C partnerships and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think extensible. Without meticulously-planned micro-next-generation, 24/7/365 e-markets, user communities are forced to become affiliate-based, world-class, robust, clicks-and-mortar.