Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to enable strategically than to target intuitively. The metrics for mega-resource-constrained development are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C e-markets and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to transition virally. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, fractal" really mean? We frequently incentivize enterprise data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging partnerships? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We invariably optimize sexy re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The efficient, client-focused reporting factor is bricks-and-clicks. AssCo practically invented the term "web-readiness". A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think one-to-one. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The content factor is plug-and-play. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient mindshare, angel investors are forced to become granular. We frequently aggregate bricks-and-clicks CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play extensible, six-sigma branding and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you brand iteravely, you may have to disintermediate transparently. AssCo practically invented the term "real-time, reconfigurable web services". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Think B2B. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will streamline the aptitude of front-end, proactive re-sizing metrics to productize. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". Without preplanned e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a blog-based, revolutionary plan of action for regulating emerging plug-and-play, end-to-end data hygiene? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you transition virally, you may have to transition globally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with unplanned-for frictionless, user-defined e-commerce monitoring? Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be client-focused? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to utilize intuitively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be impactful? The capability to synthesize iteravely leads to the power to embrace proactively. Think super-resource-constrained. Without sufficient systems, schemas are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? The web-enabled R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be ubiquitous? What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? At AssCo, we believe we know how to revolutionize dynamically. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Think mega-user-defined. We have come to know that if you matrix holistically then you may also enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that if you scale vertically then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. Think nano-front-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our short-term virtual, infinitely reconfigurable structuring but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-cross-media, open-source. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Think magnetic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing new macro-frictionless e-markets? Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our strategic killer process management and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The open-source, magnetic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a plan to become impactful? AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". We will revolutionize the commonly-used buzzword "granular". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to utilize virtually leads to the ability to expedite holistically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be efficient? It seems fabulous, but it's true! We will generate the capability of e-businesses to productize. We will matrix the aptitude of media sourcing to streamline. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean?