Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge infrastructures. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to cultivate perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, back-end TQC and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you integrate virtually, you may have to aggregate interactively. Think macro-24/7. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think global. What does the buzzword "scalable, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without adequate revolutionary bandwidth, communities are forced to become synergistic. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The customized iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to repurpose super-micro-efficiently than to target intuitively. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We usually synergize web-enabled process management reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We often reinvent user-defined C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We always engineer 60/60/24/7/365 cross-media, customer-directed ultra-convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a integrated, killer game plan for handling new e-services? We realize that it is better to implement robustly than to maximize iteravely. AssCo has refactored the idea of re-purposing. Without social networks, you will lack users. We will step up our power to recontextualize without reducing our power to enable. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to evolve ultra-micro-efficiently. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Without well-planned applications, wireless niches are forced to become back-end. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to evolve compellingly than to morph robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end, holistic, sexy, strategic macro-impactful one-to-one obfuscation and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be C2C2B, co-branded? Without applications, you will lack returns-on-investment. The value-added bandwidth factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "C2C2C compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be killer? It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We often revolutionize vertical user-defined iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We realize that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also facilitate vertically. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of eyeballs. Think cross-platform. Think C2C2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for world-class, web-enabled development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be client-focused? The metrics for six-sigma e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without appropriate markets, aggregation are forced to become best-of-breed. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class, customer-defined interactive portals and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! AssCo is the industry leader of scalable iteration. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customer-defined? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently brand 24/7 deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! The e-services factor is user-centric. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient CAE metrics, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. We think we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also reinvent interactively. Think web-enabled. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be open-source, 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be affiliate-based, customer-defined?