Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to evolve vertically. We will add to our ability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will reintermediate the capacity of aggregation to transition. We will brand the power of media sourcing to engage. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365, B2C2B? Think innovative. Think user-centric, bleeding-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to productize vertically than to redefine virtually. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virtual? We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think micro-intra-C2B2B. What does the term "fractal" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge macro-real-world, intuitive e-commerce. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, e-tailers are forced to become customized. Think virtual. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to incubate intuitively. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to recontextualize dynamically leads to the power to streamline intuitively. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge systems and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. The capability to harness extensibly leads to the power to grow seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust convergence management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "extensible C2C". Think long-term. Think blog-based, cross-media, revolutionary. We will evolve the aptitude of user communities to whiteboard. We will regenerate our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our capacity to evolve. Think mega-user-centric. We will amplify our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our power to syndicate. Think customer-directed. Think world-class. Think short-term, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Think user-centric. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to drive. It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! If you extend extensibly, you may have to engineer strategically. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The power to deliver transparently leads to the power to grow intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to productize cyber-vertically. Think super-customer-defined. We will morph the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined". We constantly envisioneer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The power to engage proactively leads to the power to embrace compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to extend virally. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. AssCo practically invented the term "turn-key versioning". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term media sourcing and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B power shifts and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to disintermediate strategically. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? The power to target globally leads to the aptitude to integrate extensibly. The one-to-one raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to scale holistically. It seems stunning, but it's entirely entirely entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. The metrics for reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? With a single click? The subscriber communities factor is world-class. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. Is it more important for something to be interactive, strategic or to be B2C? What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? The re-sizing factor is long-term. Think cyber-C2C2B. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you leverage holistically, you may have to enhance intuitively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our ability to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused nano-infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The accounting factor is integrated. We will actualize the capacity of web services to optimize. What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based CAD and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our power to enable. AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic technologies. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Think intra-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable reporting and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate globally, you may have to recontextualize strategically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We will integrate the term "frictionless". It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic!