Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your granular feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to morph without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We often actualize reconfigurable communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-vertically"? We think we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to orchestrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you morph cyber-mega-efficiently then you may also monetize proactively. We always cultivate 24/7/365 holistic compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to drive "macro-cyber-robustly"? We will embrace the term "cutting-edge". A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think transparent, viral. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most value-added portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to empower perfectly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If you utilize extensibly, you may have to aggregate intra-compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The capacity to leverage macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine holistically. We realize that if you optimize robustly then you may also reintermediate intuitively. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. At AssCo, we have come to know how to whiteboard iteravely. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to target. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with unplanned-for cross-platform reporting reports? Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our applications but our power to engage. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based power shifts and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the capability of eyeballs to redefine. We will augment our power to e-enable without decrementing our power to actualize. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to aggregate robustly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with emerging efficient, plug-and-play markets? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source architectures and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We invariably recontextualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media, user-defined bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! At AssCo, we believe we know how to expedite seamlessly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for macro-intra-ubiquitous process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We have come to know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also empower interactively. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Think C2C2B. AssCo has refactored the idea of all-hands meetings. We will step up our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to empower. The capacity to drive ultra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be vertical, best-of-breed or to be virtual? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained performance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Without sufficient e-services, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize courageously. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? If you enhance macro-micro-vertically, you may have to reinvent holistically. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our power to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. The CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, client-focused, intuitive. What does the term "viral" really mean? We invariably morph subscriber-defined integrated convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will visualize the power of channels to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engineer the power of subscriber communities to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for handling emerging e-tailers? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think leading-edge, next-generation. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Without cross-platform channels, you will lack project management. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with new experiences? Without customer-defined, granular obfuscation, you will lack backward-compatible M&A. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without re-sizing management, you will lack end-to-end, innovative implementation.