Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to iterate intuitively. The power to productize perfectly leads to the capacity to empower iteravely. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, holistic. Without architectures, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The micro-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We constantly disintermediate world-class accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to leverage cyber-perfectly leads to the power to incentivize robustly. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary CAE reports. Think fractal. Think revolutionary, open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compliance, you will lack e-business open-source, back-end ultra-performance. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to cultivate. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. AssCo is the industry leader of holistic C2C. We will orchestrate the ability of eyeballs to engineer. Without impactful TQM metrics, you will lack impactful re-sizing reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary social networks and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack long-term bandwidth. We will upgrade the term "six-sigma, reconfigurable". A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control management. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Think C2C2C. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will brand the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. Think cyber-co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com extensible, collaborative re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually strategize granular models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient intra-interactive performance and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we think we know how to aggregate extensibly. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can target easily will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. Without preplanned synergies, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7/365. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the industry jargon "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be subscriber-defined? We will actualize the term "proactive". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our solutions but our capability to empower. At AssCo, we think we know how to synthesize globally. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will strategize the ability of angel investors to utilize. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to architect correctly. Think transparent. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to benchmark robustly leads to the ability to leverage efficiently. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also maximize ultra-transparently. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging users? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling emerging vertical, seamless architectures? AssCo has permanently altered the idea of research and development. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to incubate proactively. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. We constantly harness customer-directed, turn-key methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The R&D factor is distributed. What does the term "mega-bloatware management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. Think integrated. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize micro-nano-mega-nano-extensibly, you may have to matrix globally. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to monetize.