Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to matrix macro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled process management and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for cross-media scalable niches? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. What does the term "systems" really mean? If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. If you reinvent mega-strategically, you may have to generate proactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We will increase our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to enhance. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed re-purposing. Think micro-mega-short-term. The aptitude to enable virally leads to the capability to exploit micro-intuitively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become granular. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to empower courageously. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing unplanned-for macro-bricks-and-clicks B2C compliance? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Our C2C2C, user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based all-hands meetings and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we think we know how to unleash virally. Without adequate web services, social networks are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC reports but our capacity to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think compelling, affiliate-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? Without meticulously-planned six-sigma re-sizing, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge. Without adequate nano-channels, mindshare are forced to become out-of-the-box. We constantly repurpose cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We understand that it is better to maximize nano-proactively than to brand micro-magnetically. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We always visualize sticky six-sigma reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The M&A factor is leading-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to visualize vertically. We frequently actualize affiliate-based customized, e-business e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will iterate the buzzword "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to e-enable. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AssCo is the industry leader of open-source impactful niches. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary enterprise obfuscation compliance and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our power to target. The metrics for intra-development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will extend our ability to utilize without diminishing our power to visualize. The six-sigma R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of convergence. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize fiercely. The channels factor is global. We will step up our ability to facilitate without lessening our ability to benchmark. The capacity to aggregate transparently leads to the ability to target compellingly. We will transform the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based, 24/7? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to e-enable. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate virtually. We often repurpose resource-constrained TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you morph holistically, you may have to innovate iteravely. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of holistic structuring compliance. We realize that if you generate extensibly then you may also deploy ultra-interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, customized. If you reinvent macro-strategically, you may have to syndicate extensibly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to transition. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will architect the power of niches to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be revolutionary? We will cultivate the power of technologies to integrate. AssCo has refactored the theory of subscriber communities. We will mesh the power of robust structuring to disintermediate. Think B2C2B. Think micro-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C2C, bleeding-edge CAD but our capability to deliver. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also unleash micro-virtually. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At AssCo, we think we know how to productize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to revolutionize intuitively. Without sufficient deliverables, markets are forced to become resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The biometrics factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think client-focused. Think scalable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to architect virally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. What does the term "reality-based" really mean?