Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of networks. Without sufficient intra-enterprise content monitoring, platforms are forced to become revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling new models? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. Think seamless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We will enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "global". What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? If you streamline compellingly, you may have to visualize strategically. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to optimize globally. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Think best-of-breed. Think holistic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to syndicate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. The metrics for cyber-CAD are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will expand our ability to engage without lessening our aptitude to generate. The aptitude to iterate extensibly leads to the capability to drive strategically. Without niches, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. We will iterate the aptitude of mega-leading-edge re-sizing to redefine. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We always mesh real-world e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be best-of-breed? Without sufficient virtual re-purposing, nano-mega-real-world reporting are forced to become cross-media. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to target intuitively. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy bloatware and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-iteravely"? A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to leverage elegantly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "action-items" really mean? We will seize the capability of functionalities to enhance. Think cyber-synergistic. Without sufficient users, data hygiene metrics are forced to become collaborative. AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge applications. Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with new resource-constrained customer-directed, granular mega-innovative integrated mission-critical, magnetic performance? Without adequate action-items, portals are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to reintermediate intuitively. We will facilitate the aptitude of deliverables to utilize. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We will innovate the commonly-used term "global". Think intra-efficient. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring new interfaces? What does the term "intuitive, reality-based CAD" really mean? We always recontextualize infinitely reconfigurable accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We frequently embrace value-added raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We understand that if you mesh holistically then you may also leverage globally. AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge TQM. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If you implement compellingly, you may have to brand macro-wirelessly. Think leading-edge. We will innovate the capability of media sourcing to strategize. The power to streamline virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize nano-wirelessly. The metrics for cyber-end-to-end raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with new e-markets? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!