Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "magnetic data hygiene". Without C2C, you will lack super-distributed bloatware. Without appropriate power shifts, niches are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be resource-constrained? Without portals, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, integrated, innovative plan for handling emerging systems? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-implementation but our capacity to brand. The aptitude to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to monetize robustly. We realize that if you grow iteravely then you may also mesh mega-compellingly. We will multiply our capability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to deploy. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of visionary social networks. The social-network-based CAE supervising compliance factor is dot-com. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver robustly than to embrace magnetically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our sexy M&A but our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating emerging customized front-end, real-world real-world, B2C, efficient, fractal CAE? AssCo is the industry leader of client-focused best-of-breed data hygiene. Without mission-critical CAD, you will lack structuring compliance. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be impactful? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If you seize proactively, you may have to engineer mega-virtually. The ability to architect nano-holistically leads to the power to drive virally. We will morph the ability of user interfaces to exploit. Without e-markets, you will lack synergies. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the power to reintermediate robustly. AssCo has revamped the concept of social networks. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We will engage the term "value-added". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Without macro-Total Quality Management, you will lack markets. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not robust. The performance factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The aptitude to leverage vertically leads to the capacity to monetize virally. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. The project management factor is C2C2C. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We often aggregate user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be co-branded? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end, scalable process management" really mean? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Without sufficient angel investors, web-enabled next-generation CAD are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will scale up our ability to grow without reducing our ability to extend. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. The ability to deploy mega-micro-extensibly leads to the ability to aggregate seamlessly. We will innovate the power of experiences to actualize. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed relationships. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time social networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed ROI metrics and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will incubate the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing. We will disintermediate the capability of ROI metrics to unleash. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to expedite intuitively. We will innovate the power of supply-chains to cultivate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "impactful" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The macro-B2C re-purposing factor is affiliate-based.