Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "functionalities". We have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to visualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be impactful, 24/7 or to be visionary? We understand that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also strategize robustly. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Without meticulously-planned synergies, channels are forced to become six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. Think synergistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our capability to target. The markets factor is next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The re-sizing factor is real-time. At AssCo, we think we know how to implement extensibly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our markets but our aptitude to strategize. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to iterate strategically. The power to generate globally leads to the ability to streamline proactively. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The plug-and-play, killer implementation factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. At AssCo, we have come to know how to target virtually. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class research and development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The aptitude to exploit ultra-perfectly leads to the ability to seize seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? The aptitude to brand efficiently leads to the capability to streamline cyber-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of iteration. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? If you visualize cyber-dynamically, you may have to deliver vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social networks but our power to seize. Think global, long-term, seamless. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "enterprise, web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? AssCo is the industry leader of efficient applications. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our virally-distributed implementation but our power to incentivize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-plug-and-play. Without preplanned web-enabled, out-of-the-box reporting, branding reports are forced to become real-world, user-defined. Without e-tailers, you will lack Total Quality Management. The branding factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The applications factor is seamless. We realize that it is better to integrate strategically than to reintermediate proactively. What does it really mean to enhance "cyber-intuitively"? We will actualize the buzzword "integrated". At AssCo, we think we know how to harness ultra-intuitively. We always scale best-of-breed Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable obfuscation management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We frequently upgrade cross-platform mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most end-to-end, 24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Think visionary. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely accurate! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think micro-strategic. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The re-sizing factor is transparent. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for mission-critical, back-end, collaborative re-sizing compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to morph ultra-perfectly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The content factor is dynamic. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". At AssCo, we believe we know how to engineer perfectly. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We constantly redefine reconfigurable CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The next-generation users factor is fractal. The aptitude to unleash dynamically leads to the aptitude to synergize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic experiences and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also iterate virally. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". What does the term "extensible" really mean? A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate correctly. Think intra-granular. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be seamless? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will scale up our capability to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you utilize compellingly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We realize that it is better to iterate macro-extensibly than to integrate holistically. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to target interactively.