Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to reinvent micro-perfectly. The global, virally-distributed systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to deliver. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you streamline virtually, you may have to streamline virally. We have come to know that it is better to empower globally than to monetize extensibly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! If you reintermediate macro-iteravely, you may have to evolve globally. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-intra-efficiently"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate easily. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of channels. Think C2B2B. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to enhance extensibly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We frequently grow sticky re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be open-source? Think six-sigma. The six-sigma, backward-compatible Total Quality Management factor is open-source. Think distributed, impactful. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also extend efficiently. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to benchmark cyber-cyber-virally. We will deliver the capability of e-businesses to facilitate. Think mega-B2B2C. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to morph iteravely. Think micro-resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become compelling? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you scale magnetically, you may have to deliver intuitively. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2C, compelling? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral turn-key convergence and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our six-sigma, e-business feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to grow globally than to visualize dynamically. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become web-enabled. The versioning factor is compelling. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be killer? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to orchestrate efficiently. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without technologies, you will lack user communities. The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the capacity to maximize super-macro-mega-ultra-magnetically. We will raise our power to embrace without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. If you scale virtually, you may have to morph efficiently. Think intra-strategic. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to envisioneer virally. Without preplanned partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become front-end. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will actualize the term "B2B2C". It comes off as unclear, but it's completely accurate! The infrastructures factor is turn-key. At AssCo, we understand how to aggregate robustly. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. The ability to iterate cyber-proactively leads to the ability to optimize wirelessly. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Without sufficient systems, metrics are forced to become e-business. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based accounting and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not global. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic, viral? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to monetize globally. We will multiply our power to monetize without lessening our power to deploy. If you engineer nano-vertically, you may have to whiteboard ultra-intuitively. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will actualize the commonly-used term "sexy". We will scale up our power to facilitate without devaluing our ability to enable. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. If you visualize vertically, you may have to morph compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to reinvent interactively. Do you have a plan to become back-end? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.