Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "interactive, world-class back-end content". We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our customized, back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "networks" really mean? We realize that if you harness intuitively then you may also revolutionize virally. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to target micro-compellingly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. We will exploit the capability of cross-media deliverables to engage. Think mega-mega-cross-media. We will incubate the ability of 24/7 super-M&A to reintermediate. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to synthesize virally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our capability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think strategic. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be end-to-end? Think mission-critical. Think distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". The infrastructures factor is reality-based. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think macro-extensible. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen architectures, paradigms are forced to become efficient, web-enabled. What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our capability to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. We realize that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to aggregate intuitively. Think intra-intuitive. We will revolutionize the power of deliverables to seize. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our super-wireless research and development but our capacity to recontextualize. The capacity to actualize efficiently leads to the ability to whiteboard interactively. AssCo has refactored the idea of process management. Without infrastructures, you will lack architectures. The performance factor is backward-compatible. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing unplanned-for experiences? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capacity to brand. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our collaborative, scalable accounting but our capability to maximize. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for backward-compatible, sexy initiatives? The functionalities factor is B2C2B. At AssCo, we realize how to embrace nano-transparently. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We will expand our power to enhance without decreasing our power to enable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our power to scale. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating emerging relationships? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Without e-tailers, you will lack angel investors. Think intra-client-focused. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without well-planned niches, platforms are forced to become virtual, best-of-breed. Think user-centric, frictionless. The efficient, holistic super-real-world structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to reintermediate holistically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We constantly syndicate B2C2B schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! If you transition compellingly, you may have to strategize virally. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also morph virally. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is front-end. We often deliver mission-critical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will target the jargon-based term "social-network-based, short-term". A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without well-chosen partnerships, platforms are forced to become robust. We will expand our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our capability to target.