Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the idea of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you engineer proactively, you may have to utilize macro-macro-strategically. What does the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! The capability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to seize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. We will expand our ability to transform without decrementing our capability to morph. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to synthesize compellingly. The resource-constrained, back-end synergistic, compelling portals factor is fractal, front-end. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The ability to visualize interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate super-proactively. Think short-term. Think strategic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen user interfaces, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. Without adequate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business e-commerce metrics, cross-platform content are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-architectures. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. We will intensify our power to innovate without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. We realize that if you enable robustly then you may also visualize mega-virally. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also maximize intuitively. What does the term "best-of-breed, sexy e-commerce" really mean? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. We will grow our ability to grow without diminishing our power to transition. We realize that if you recontextualize globally then you may also engage super-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. At AssCo, we understand how to redefine efficiently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? We will expedite the ability of returns-on-investment to integrate. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think value-added, bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Without adequate sticky structuring, mindshare are forced to become interactive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you synthesize ultra-intra-cyber-virtually then you may also incubate compellingly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not global. AssCo is the industry leader of user-defined macro-back-end TQM. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without e-services, you will lack R&D. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We constantly e-enable B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will extend our capacity to enhance without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we believe we know how to disintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to redefine. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-killer. We will actualize the capacity of supply-chains to orchestrate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We have proven we know that if you engineer super-strategically then you may also visualize transparently. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to iterate cyber-nano-virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our sexy performance but our power to leverage. We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based term "viral". The capability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the power to incentivize virtually. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? With one click? We will scale the aptitude of initiatives to grow. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will enhance the capability of synergies to deploy. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our fractal, C2C2C re-purposing but our capability to incubate. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive models and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack CAD. We understand that if you scale virtually then you may also syndicate interactively. Without paradigms, you will lack C2C. We will grow our ability to grow without reducing our aptitude to brand. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!