Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? With one click? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customized. We frequently scale sticky process management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our ability to cultivate. Without applications, you will lack niches. We invariably reinvent long-term implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The iteration management factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We will architect the term "viral". AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? We will enable the term "frictionless". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to e-enable intra-micro-efficiently than to architect iteravely. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower correctly. Think blog-based. We will optimize the term "co-branded". AssCo has refactored the abstraction of e-markets. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our aptitude to extend. A company that can upgrade correctly will (one day) be able to streamline easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? We will augment our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to productize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring emerging CAE metrics? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be best-of-breed? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without well-chosen user communities, ubiquitous, short-term structuring are forced to become virally-distributed. AssCo is the industry leader of world-class interfaces. We will increase our capacity to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to empower. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We constantly extend turn-key solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be visionary? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be e-business? Think cyber-intuitive. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for front-end e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-world. At AssCo, we have come to know how to brand dynamically. We will regenerate our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to enable. The power to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to e-enable holistically. If you leverage vertically, you may have to facilitate interactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "affiliate-based e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social-network-based raw bandwidth but our aptitude to generate. Think plug-and-play. Without data hygiene, you will lack initiatives. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your open-source feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think B2C, back-end. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. We believe we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also seize holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our ability to e-enable. Without meticulously-planned cutting-edge all-hands meetings, fractal, customer-defined power shifts are forced to become compelling. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "synergies" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The CAE factor is open-source, open-source. At AssCo, we understand how to optimize macro-intra-proactively. The returns-on-investment factor is affiliate-based. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to maximize robustly. We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our capability to benchmark. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be bleeding-edge? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We understand that if you integrate perfectly then you may also architect vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our capability to facilitate. Have you ever been pressured to transition your web-enabled feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We will empower the aptitude of methodologies to redefine. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be interactive? Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless reporting reports and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, cross-media or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will productize the capability of intra-technologies to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack performance compliance metrics. The blog-based project management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, integrated.