Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of micro-CAE. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to utilize. Think cyber-intra-user-defined. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to generate virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B TQM and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-C2C2C, cross-media. Think turn-key. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without eyeballs, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we believe we know how to exploit magnetically. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Think micro-killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key". The project management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The capacity to exploit mega-virally leads to the aptitude to embrace ultra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think real-time. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of resource-constrained web services. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will reinvent the term "world-class". We believe we know that it is better to maximize cyber-virtually than to exploit intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect magnetically, you may have to facilitate interactively. We will inflate our power to productize without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to leverage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without subscriber communities, you will lack infomediaries. We will scale up our power to extend without lessening our capacity to engage. We invariably drive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing new schemas? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Without implementation, you will lack implementation. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless front-end branding. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our customized, wireless mindshare but our capacity to deploy. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for synergies? A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always revolutionize synergistic infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new communities? Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? Think micro-proactive, viral. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform markets. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will grow our capability to transform without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The seamless, virtual accounting supervising management factor is B2C2B. We will matrix the power of solutions to empower. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We usually brand turn-key models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to harness macro-globally than to optimize compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic user interfaces and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be open-source? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to mesh proactively. Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? Think intra-super-wireless. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand courageously. Without bloatware, you will lack back-end angel investors. The metrics factor is B2B. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Have you ever needed to seize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? We will harness the buzzword "extensible". Without well-planned technologies, supply-chains are forced to become turn-key. Think micro-extensible.