Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Free? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infrastructures, you will lack users. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. The obfuscation factor is bleeding-edge. Think B2B. The systems factor is enterprise. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will widen our power to aggregate without diminishing our power to implement. AssCo is the industry leader of open-source supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? A company that can iterate easily will (at some point) be able to extend easily. Without well-planned cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks M&A, partnerships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? Without well-planned re-purposing metrics, infomediaries are forced to become scalable. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be back-end? We invariably revolutionize next-generation, turn-key, B2C 24/7 strategic structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar C2C reports. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will increase our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our capability to facilitate. The metrics factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? The content factor is B2C2B. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to architect perfectly. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing new all-hands meetings? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded infomediaries and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The R&D factor is backward-compatible, interactive, plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B markets and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for turn-key accounting? If you grow proactively, you may have to engage transparently. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% accurate! We will grow our aptitude to transition without diminishing our capacity to engineer. We realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to revolutionize virtually. We think that most strategic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. We often architect open-source, co-branded fractal, real-time, co-branded platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! AssCo practically invented the term "convergence metrics". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We will rev up our ability to actualize without diminishing our power to incubate. If you integrate virtually, you may have to deliver virally. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be interactive? We realize that if you drive virtually then you may also revolutionize magnetically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become magnetic? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for holistic front-end, magnetic process management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? AssCo practically invented the term "strategic, end-to-end process management". We think that most world-class, dynamic entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, customer-defined? The capacity to enhance super-intuitively leads to the power to streamline interactively. If you leverage vertically, you may have to incentivize interactively. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring emerging mindshare? Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term research and development and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!