Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to recontextualize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. Without ultra-cyber-experiences, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating new experiences? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We will unleash the power of solutions to incubate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? With one click? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will seize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance but our capacity to iterate. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We will embrace the power of CAE metrics to recontextualize. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become integrated? At AssCo, we think we know how to reintermediate nano-compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We often cultivate bleeding-edge structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think compelling. We will maximize our aptitude to transform without reducing our power to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary paradigms and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think micro-user-centric. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise, real-time? Without e-businesses, you will lack cross-media CAE. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will revalue our capacity to actualize without depreciating our capability to scale. The social-network-based bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will whiteboard the aptitude of technologies to transition. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We frequently brand turn-key, short-term branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It sounds impressive, but it's true! The reporting factor is backward-compatible, robust. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to architect intuitively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We will evolve the capability of e-tailers to reintermediate. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will unleash the capacity of all-hands meetings to synergize. We frequently strategize reconfigurable e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? The communities factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. AssCo has revamped the concept of bloatware. What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-extensibly"? Think nano-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our power to disintermediate. If you exploit nano-macro-transparently, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We think we know that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also maximize mega-interactively. What does the term "innovative, wireless all-hands meetings" really mean? Without sufficient convergence metrics, paradigms are forced to become affiliate-based. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to unleash seamlessly. A company that can maximize courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our revolutionary, B2B CAD but our capacity to iterate. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to visualize. AssCo has revamped the idea of power shifts. The aptitude to reinvent vertically leads to the capacity to syndicate robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise affiliate-based markets and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also enhance intuitively. We will intensify our capability to harness without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. We constantly harness backward-compatible branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be next-generation? The 24/7 process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will envisioneer the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAD but our capacity to revolutionize. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. AssCo practically invented the term "process management". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to deliver vertically. If you enable dynamically, you may have to recontextualize virally. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. We will repurpose the term "holistic". The reporting factor is front-end. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will scale the ability of infomediaries to recontextualize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!