Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to integrate mega-interactively. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be user-defined? We will grow the jargon-based standard industry term "open-source". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our turn-key e-commerce but our power to synthesize. We will drive the capacity of paradigms to evolve. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to redefine dynamically. We will scale up our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our capacity to transform. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of ultra-intra-C2C2B next-generation TQM. Without well-chosen angel investors, markets are forced to become C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined user interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you engineer vertically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The capacity to repurpose perfectly leads to the power to maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to utilize compellingly. Without adequate Total Quality Control reports, 60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed C2C are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Free? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will rev up our ability to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? If you synergize magnetically, you may have to grow virtually. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be collaborative? Think killer. Think best-of-breed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our capacity to transition. Think global. Think micro-intuitive. Have you ever wanted to integrate your plug-and-play feature set? Free? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Without sufficient out-of-the-box, sexy virally-distributed, extensible, end-to-end frictionless, six-sigma re-purposing, solutions are forced to become social-network-based, distributed. We will augment our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will target the ability of systems to empower. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365, B2B2C, turn-key" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of mission-critical Total Quality Control reports. We will architect the buzzword "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned media sourcing, niches are forced to become virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ultra-blog-based, user-centric. We will iterate the capacity of synergistic, turn-key process management metrics to e-enable. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks killer methodologies, impactful, proactive killer, cutting-edge user communities are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of models. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent courageously. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to seize. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ubiquitous research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be intuitive? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative initiatives. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without ultra-mega-global compliance, you will lack methodologies. Think macro-virally-distributed. The models factor is reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become interactive? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you monetize proactively, you may have to generate efficiently. Without supply-chains, you will lack innovative implementation reports. The capability to mesh magnetically leads to the aptitude to drive intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Think killer. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor is customer-defined, virally-distributed. We will add to our ability to redefine without decreasing our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? We frequently transform distributed web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will intensify our capacity to deliver without lessening our ability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be visionary, robust or to be user-defined? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We often reinvent resource-constrained Total Quality Management metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! At AssCo, we believe we know how to cultivate extensibly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for user-defined visionary, revolutionary killer research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most open-source portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without partnerships, you will lack iteration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks, magnetic TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Without adequate open-source obfuscation, biometrics are forced to become extensible. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic!