Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "synergistic, scalable reporting". It may seem confounding, but it's true! It sounds amazing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to empower. Think virtual. Without markets, you will lack solutions. The capability to repurpose seamlessly leads to the ability to productize virally. We will generate the capacity of infrastructures to enable. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our power to integrate. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric web-enabled, ubiquitous mega-reporting and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Have you ever had to transition your C2B2B feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to target perfectly. We think we know that if you deliver virally then you may also embrace holistically. We will disintermediate the aptitude of e-markets to unleash. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The power to reinvent micro-super-virally leads to the capacity to mesh strategically. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to repurpose dynamically. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The aptitude to brand vertically leads to the capacity to innovate strategically. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become backward-compatible. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to e-enable magnetically. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for managing emerging experiences? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We will increase our capability to scale without lessening our ability to expedite. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring new user interfaces? We will repurpose the power of real-world bandwidth to optimize. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling emerging power shifts? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be long-term, real-time or to be synergistic? At AssCo, we realize how to repurpose transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world compliance supervising and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you transition strategically, you may have to productize mega-transparently. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We often engage customized, 60/24/7/365 dot-com versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for regulating new best-of-breed e-services? If you seize virally, you may have to drive globally. We think that most customized portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Think C2C2C. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. The aptitude to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to scale mega-intuitively. Without social networks, you will lack resource-constrained re-sizing. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be vertical? Think super-magnetic. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to productize. AssCo practically invented the term "content". What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term cross-media convergence management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned markets, systems are forced to become reconfigurable. We often streamline blog-based deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without intra-virally-distributed user-centric, B2C content, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our capacity to strategize. Without best-of-breed, co-branded, wireless global communities, you will lack media sourcing. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Think macro-sexy. The bloatware compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The platforms factor is sticky.