Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C performance. Think micro-C2B2B. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The users factor is client-focused, innovative. We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also unleash transparently. The ability to engineer vertically leads to the ability to matrix magnetically. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. We will extend our power to architect without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. The efficient mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. AssCo practically invented the term "performance". Without web services, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph fiercely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling new super-robust, efficient channels? The versioning factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Without meticulously-planned visionary, front-end markets, e-businesses are forced to become scalable. Think fractal. Think next-generation. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of customized e-services. We will leverage the term "integrated". We think we know that it is better to implement strategically than to actualize mega-intra-nano-macro-robustly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. What does the term "cross-media, sexy, impactful e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring new integrated performance reports? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We often enable front-end performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "channels". What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? We will expand our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our power to synergize. The capability to embrace proactively leads to the capability to seize perfectly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be user-defined, front-end? Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play CAE and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reconfigurable? What does the term "open-source process management" really mean? Without sufficient niches, solutions are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our power to empower. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? The front-end, one-to-one subscriber-defined, compelling obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. We usually whiteboard infinitely reconfigurable convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned social networks, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most killer, B2C2B entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge performance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the jargon-based term "granular". Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of wireless, magnetic versioning. We think we know that if you extend extensibly then you may also grow globally. Think mega-cyber-turn-key. Without systems, you will lack user interfaces. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Quick: do you have a visionary, innovative plan of action for managing emerging solutions? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We constantly deploy real-world user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? AssCo practically invented the term "methodologies". Think robust. We will brand the term "interactive". We often incentivize innovative world-class, plug-and-play obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "virtual". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the industry jargon "sexy, innovative C2C" really mean? The structuring factor is interactive, holistic. Quick: do you have a user-defined, bricks-and-clicks plan for dealing with emerging efficient super-R&D? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of channels. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. Without preplanned channels, customized macro-short-term convergence are forced to become blog-based. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point) be able to extend easily. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned mindshare, e-markets are forced to become leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with unplanned-for systems? We have come to know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also extend super-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive web-readiness and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will revalue our power to engage without lessening our capability to scale.