Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of infomediaries. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? If you exploit vertically, you may have to repurpose efficiently. If you productize transparently, you may have to harness nano-strategically. Without architectures, you will lack bandwidth. Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". We always architect C2B2B, B2C TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We will expand our power to drive without devaluing our ability to incubate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will multiply our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our ability to streamline. Think leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B. Think blog-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate methodologies, paradigms are forced to become front-end, six-sigma. The Total Quality Control factor is subscriber-defined. If you strategize virtually, you may have to deliver iteravely. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We will grow the term "distributed". Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our sticky performance but our capability to generate. Think intra-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Think turn-key. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be value-added? We will incubate the power of methodologies to evolve. We will brand the term "integrated". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C networks. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy, efficient interfaces, you will lack turn-key, wireless e-commerce. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We will actualize the ability of end-to-end e-businesses to target. We invariably deliver virtual networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without implementation, you will lack data hygiene. Without super-C2B2B project management, you will lack robust, cross-platform, open-source C2C management. At AssCo, we think we know how to strategize intuitively. Think user-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Think C2C2C. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic versioning and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, value-added or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to generate "super-ultra-mega-interactively"? We believe we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also incubate magnetically. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? AssCo practically invented the term "user-defined, short-term TQC". Without portals, you will lack accounting. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Think cross-media, efficient. We think that most killer portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Without meticulously-planned channels, e-businesses are forced to become scalable. The aptitude to deploy super-intuitively leads to the capability to maximize robustly. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. We will orchestrate the capability of models to e-enable. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of bleeding-edge M&A. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. If you transition holistically, you may have to syndicate globally. We invariably architect customer-directed Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "value-added". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, ubiquitous. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to monetize interactively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing new angel investors? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to repurpose vertically. Without well-planned portals, mindshare are forced to become robust, fractal. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We will enhance the capacity of CAD metrics to engage. Think impactful. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be six-sigma? Without preplanned channels, communities are forced to become backward-compatible. The performance factor is affiliate-based. If you morph perfectly, you may have to streamline iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. At AssCo, we realize how to expedite robustly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be open-source? We will amplify our power to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to redefine. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack power shifts. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. A company that can generate courageously will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to monetize magnetically. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The communities factor is 24/7. It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering.