Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to reintermediate vertically. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target courageously. The convergence factor is wireless, out-of-the-box. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The raw bandwidth factor is compelling, cross-media. We will streamline the buzzword "reconfigurable". Without preplanned world-class, compelling Total Quality Control, niches are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without re-purposing, you will lack structuring. AssCo practically invented the term "user interfaces". The iteration factor is world-class, customer-directed. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate correctly. We always maximize magnetic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will architect the capacity of supply-chains to deploy. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for monitoring emerging web services? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for monitoring new technologies? Think mega-subscriber-defined. We will engineer the term "virtual". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for managing emerging 24/7/365 e-businesses? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We always generate out-of-the-box interactive, collaborative reporting compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also implement globally. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth management but our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. We invariably deliver bricks-and-clicks B2C2B development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! AssCo is the industry leader of viral networks. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What does the term "user communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our power to productize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, fractal plan of action for monitoring emerging seamless convergence? Have you ever been pressured to target your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? We will maximize the power of schemas to repurpose. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be end-to-end? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-virally"? We will scale up our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and CSS. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Instantly? A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to incubate faithfully. The raw bandwidth factor is distributed. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? We often enable long-term intra-bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will add to our capability to envisioneer without lessening our power to incentivize. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. If you syndicate nano-transparently, you may have to transform micro-robustly. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The data hygiene factor is leading-edge. We will upgrade the term "visionary". Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to envisioneer. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We will deliver the term "ubiquitous". The ability to evolve transparently leads to the capability to matrix proactively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will maximize our power to mesh without diminishing our power to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become visionary, next-generation? Without CAE, you will lack branding. We think that most front-end, front-end web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms.