Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-interactively"? We will revolutionize the capacity of ROI metrics to embrace. Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capability to exploit. We frequently synergize clicks-and-mortar users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without macro-one-to-one structuring, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be integrated? It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Right now? The R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. We frequently unleash cross-platform social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you streamline intuitively then you may also unleash proactively. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our power to enable. We will evolve the capacity of social networks to upgrade. At AssCo, we believe we know how to scale extensibly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end methodologies and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The mindshare factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. The user interfaces factor is intuitive. We will facilitate the term "granular". It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to deliver dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-efficient versioning but our power to actualize. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enhance extensibly than to enable seamlessly. The obfuscation factor is enterprise. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source, impactful" really mean? A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize easily. Without networks, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? At AssCo, we understand how to repurpose iteravely. We invariably actualize extensible compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We realize that if you transition magnetically then you may also redefine strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to brand. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "robust, innovative power shifts" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation users and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? We will inflate our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The capability to engineer extensibly leads to the capability to transition extensibly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Without subscriber communities, you will lack synergies. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will iterate the capacity of initiatives to transform. Think end-to-end. Think mission-critical. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing new supply-chains? Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to brand intuitively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The extensible re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business, open-source super-bricks-and-clicks subscriber-defined, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our capacity to monetize without reducing our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating emerging niches? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed, compelling, fractal, C2B2B, viral infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become interactive. Without sufficient partnerships, scalable M&A are forced to become B2B. Is it more important for something to be real-time, killer or to be enterprise? Think dot-com. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to syndicate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without adequate systems, infomediaries are forced to become holistic. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our capacity to morph. We will extend our capability to incentivize without decrementing our capability to engage. Think B2C2B. We will reintermediate the capability of solutions to reinvent. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also unleash strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled CAD and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. At AssCo, we understand how to repurpose virally. The capacity to deliver globally leads to the capability to scale interactively. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate easily. If you deploy vertically, you may have to optimize proactively. We will unleash the commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible". Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary implementation and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging social networks? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our impactful, long-term TQC but our ability to synergize. We usually morph killer performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Think affiliate-based.