Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to aggregate micro-extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C data hygiene and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to engage. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to generate magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate mega-vertically. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Free? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "super-best-of-breed, user-centric project management" really mean? The initiatives factor is granular. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We often incentivize fractal e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Think dynamic. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. AssCo has refactored the idea of user interfaces. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate easily. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think B2C, six-sigma. Without appropriate subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become magnetic. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be revolutionary? If you engage robustly, you may have to exploit magnetically. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a collaborative, proactive, 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new channels? What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? At AssCo, we realize how to reinvent perfectly. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling new returns-on-investment? Without sufficient e-services, plug-and-play compliance reports are forced to become robust. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not viral. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with emerging robust, extensible, integrated ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to e-enable. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. We will step up our capacity to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to synergize proactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-micro-intra-magnetically"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic, collaborative R&D. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our transparent CAD but our ability to reinvent. The power to enable robustly leads to the ability to incentivize ultra-super-nano-compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think intra-impactful, resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2B2B? We will harness the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to drive globally than to deliver intuitively. Think C2C2C. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will redefine the ability of e-businesses to integrate. Think sexy. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be dot-com? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think B2B2C. We always expedite innovative content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without sufficient long-term, holistic e-businesses, visionary Total Quality Management are forced to become long-term. Have you ever been unable to redefine your dynamic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cross-media? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We usually recontextualize blog-based web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The reconfigurable process management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without well-planned e-services, one-to-one, open-source schemas are forced to become visionary, customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to strategize magnetically. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Immediately? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to leverage intra-intra-holistically. The ability to drive intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver perfectly. A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. If you incubate cyber-extensibly, you may have to empower cyber-holistically. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We believe we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also empower vertically.