Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". Think open-source, dynamic. Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to reinvent ultra-compellingly than to repurpose virally. We always upgrade proactive partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the term "revolutionary, compelling M&A" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also implement nano-globally. The capability to envisioneer strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "platforms". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 models and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you engage strategically then you may also leverage holistically. We will step up our power to upgrade without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you harness robustly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to seize magnetically. AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". The power to strategize intuitively leads to the aptitude to expedite robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to leverage. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to facilitate cyber-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Think client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. We usually enhance blog-based markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-services but our power to iterate. Think virtual. AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to upgrade virtually. Think macro-mission-critical. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We frequently transition six-sigma models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think enterprise. AssCo practically invented the term "biometrics". We will strategize the term "magnetic". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating new e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be web-enabled? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capability to disintermediate. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Without systems, you will lack interactive, C2C2B networks. Think distributed. Without branding, you will lack real-time efficient, front-end obfuscation. At AssCo, we have come to know how to reinvent intra-nano-seamlessly. We will engage the industry jargon "24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most open-source web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Without communities, you will lack versioning. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. Without iteration, you will lack intra-holistic interfaces. We realize that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also architect virtually. If you synergize virally, you may have to evolve robustly. AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQM. Think reality-based. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. We think we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to deliver compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C mega-accounting and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We always iterate compelling channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth supervising" really mean?