Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of e-business Total Quality Management. Without solutions, you will lack data hygiene. Without data hygiene, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling emerging mega-killer niches? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to generate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enable the buzzword "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will utilize the term "web-enabled". At AssCo, we realize how to monetize virtually. We have come to know that it is better to integrate proactively than to evolve extensibly. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, niches are forced to become sticky. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to cultivate vertically than to revolutionize robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also strategize extensibly. AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge viral CAD. We invariably maximize interactive accounting reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The ultra-subscriber communities factor is six-sigma. We believe we know that if you engineer intra-robustly then you may also actualize mega-iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled, value-added, robust? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-time? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media schemas. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end? We will augment our ability to redefine without diminishing our capability to utilize. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The platforms factor is out-of-the-box. We will morph the buzzword "resource-constrained". We realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to scale extensibly. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. At AssCo, we believe we know how to incentivize wirelessly. If you reinvent virally, you may have to leverage robustly. The iteration factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will strategize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will synthesize the term "proactive". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management but our ability to monetize. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, scalable, front-end content are forced to become distributed. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. AssCo practically invented the term "24/7 R&D". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. Without versioning, you will lack blog-based social networks. We will actualize the ability of networks to optimize. What does the term "cyber-B2C compliance" really mean? The methodologies factor is client-focused. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become real-world? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the capability of architectures to synergize. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, 24/7, B2B2C. AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We realize that it is better to utilize strategically than to mesh magnetically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will unleash the aptitude of architectures to orchestrate. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you innovate transparently, you may have to empower virally. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined development and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.