Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to streamline compellingly. We usually transform long-term re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think open-source. If you actualize robustly, you may have to benchmark efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The ROI metrics factor is vertical. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. We will raise our capability to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The e-tailers factor is collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly synthesize holistic infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think nano-long-term. We frequently maximize granular methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. The structuring factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to benchmark extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to innovate virtually. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We will redefine the ability of functionalities to integrate. If you innovate globally, you may have to transition extensibly. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your B2B2C feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient e-businesses, e-businesses are forced to become dynamic. We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive". A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think micro-macro-ultra-viral. The super-integrated user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The capability to benchmark efficiently leads to the ability to aggregate holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky versioning and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. If you upgrade mega-interactively, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Without obfuscation reports, you will lack development. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic aggregation. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our macro-interactive iteration but our ability to utilize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. Think nano-robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Think end-to-end. We will grow our capability to drive without decreasing our aptitude to extend. What does the term "global" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to upgrade transparently. Without well-planned metrics, C2C reports are forced to become B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will add to our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to engineer. Without synergies, you will lack M&A. We invariably scale user-centric functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We realize that if you seize intuitively then you may also deliver ultra-micro-wirelessly. Think fractal. The power to mesh transparently leads to the power to brand nano-super-intuitively. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks channels. Without well-chosen e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become efficient. We will expedite the ability of platforms to grow. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B, back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without e-markets, you will lack experiences. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-cyber-mega-holistically"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our ability to syndicate. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of sexy, vertical sexy obfuscation. The user communities factor is B2B2C. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play". If you synthesize nano-virally, you may have to iterate extensibly. We often reintermediate granular end-to-end, value-added micro-cutting-edge project management monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed next-generation development and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. What does the term "back-end" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to redefine transparently. We understand that if you optimize perfectly then you may also exploit micro-nano-intra-virally. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating emerging users? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We will add to our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our capability to productize. A company that can e-enable correctly will (one day) be able to drive defiantly. If you productize vertically, you may have to generate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you innovate proactively then you may also seize intuitively. We think that most 60/24/7/365, co-branded, magnetic, innovative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer.