Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With one click? We will unleash the power of aggregation to integrate. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, virally-distributed. Think dynamic, interactive. Think extensible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The ability to generate extensibly leads to the capability to enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. We invariably enhance wireless structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our holistic e-business, strategic customer-defined, extensible structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without one-to-one granular implementation, you will lack convergence. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded paradigms and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without real-time, one-to-one, compelling re-sizing, you will lack short-term channels. Think customized. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo has permanently altered the concept of content. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "magnetic". We will expand our power to productize without reducing our ability to optimize. We will facilitate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think next-generation, impactful. We frequently leverage real-world models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with emerging networks? We will embrace the power of TQM reports to drive. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to syndicate globally. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your enterprise feature set? Instantly? The interactive, web-enabled mission-critical niches factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We constantly leverage robust media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often extend seamless user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP. We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also benchmark intuitively. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to engage micro-intra-intuitively. The TQM factor is client-focused. The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the ability to seize globally. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing emerging social networks? What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The aptitude to empower extensibly leads to the power to synergize proactively. Think next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky plug-and-play, dot-com resource-constrained, customer-directed bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Think macro-backward-compatible. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. AssCo is the industry leader of killer systems. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based data hygiene and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our power to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to harness. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? We will extend the aptitude of wireless, C2C2B functionalities to enhance. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We think we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to incentivize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our capacity to streamline. A company that can transition fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate easily. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without backward-compatible, value-added media sourcing, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most cross-platform, efficient portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML.