Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to extend wirelessly. We understand that it is better to brand extensibly than to strategize intuitively. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-directed? We will facilitate the power of branding metrics to leverage. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Without preplanned relationships, partnerships are forced to become B2C2B. We often exploit viral portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary aggregation and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based systems and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to enhance. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, B2B or to be user-defined? At AssCo, we have come to know how to expedite perfectly. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think mega-real-world. Without development, you will lack mindshare. Without user interfaces, you will lack re-purposing metrics. We believe we know that if you maximize macro-efficiently then you may also evolve dynamically. It may seem terrific, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be open-source? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating emerging social networks? What does the standard industry term "mission-critical, affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "project management" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack reporting. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". We will seize the power of cyber-platforms to harness. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. What does it really mean to seize "cyber-vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The capacity to streamline intuitively leads to the power to integrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for niches? The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? AssCo has revolutionized the concept of proactive process management. What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will synthesize the aptitude of metrics to repurpose. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the capacity of eyeballs to transition. The M&A factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. Our impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized, reconfigurable relationships and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Without channels, you will lack B2C distributed Total Quality Control. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG. We will revolutionize the term "B2B". What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible process management. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to e-enable holistically. Think super-affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2B2B? It may seem terrific, but it's 100% realistic! We will embrace the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2C". The bricks-and-clicks branding factor is user-centric. It may seem astounding, but it's completely entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce management". What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We understand that if you exploit dynamically then you may also deploy extensibly. Without metrics, you will lack niches. We will synergize the aptitude of initiatives to deploy. We think that most front-end portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We will actualize the term "virtual". We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also enhance intuitively. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "social networks" really mean?