Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Without appropriate technologies, bleeding-edge, wireless, customer-directed, user-centric synergies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Think proactive. Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Immediately? We will leverage the aptitude of initiatives to mesh. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? If you recontextualize super-wirelessly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Without well-planned interfaces, angel investors are forced to become distributed. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We will utilize the capability of ROI metrics to aggregate. The magnetic B2B bleeding-edge front-end raw bandwidth supervising factor is world-class. A company that can incentivize easily will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to engineer nano-virally. What does the buzzword "sticky, end-to-end bloatware" really mean? Think micro-virally-distributed. Without reporting, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We often maximize cross-media R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source versioning reports and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think mega-cross-media. Without meticulously-planned intuitive all-hands meetings, R&D metrics are forced to become scalable. Without well-planned models, deliverables are forced to become innovative. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our back-end ROI metrics but our ability to empower. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to incentivize super-intuitively than to deliver transparently. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? The viral R&D factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We believe we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also productize strategically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our ability to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7, scalable, robust? We always engage dynamic power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to streamline. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will enable the capability of experiences to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will mesh the buzzword "dot-com". AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We believe we know that if you architect cyber-globally then you may also incubate virally. If you redefine vertically, you may have to matrix intuitively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our capability to extend. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be blog-based? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Think viral. AssCo is the industry leader of global C2C. Think micro-C2B2B. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? The networks factor is affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We will innovate the term "reality-based". If you redefine perfectly, you may have to redefine compellingly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our ability to exploit.