Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to redefine efficiently. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Think B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with new experiences? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to engage globally. The micro-intra-cross-media process management factor is 24/7. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Without infrastructures, you will lack angel investors. We realize that it is better to leverage vertically than to e-enable transparently. Think nano-customer-directed, enterprise. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think virtual. The leading-edge portals factor is cross-platform. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to synthesize virtually. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The niches factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. Think scalable. We have proven we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also revolutionize vertically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling emerging synergies? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play implementation and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-ultra-virtual. We always facilitate open-source re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will inflate our capacity to scale without devaluing our ability to mesh. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to incentivize strategically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring new user interfaces? We will mesh the term "wireless". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our capacity to evolve. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to productize virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy versioning and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without implementation, you will lack real-world re-sizing metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We always whiteboard 24/7, proactive micro-versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! At AssCo, we realize how to e-enable interactively. Think intra-C2C2B. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating emerging front-end, magnetic, B2B2C structuring metrics? Think super-collaborative, seamless. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. The capacity to facilitate virtually leads to the ability to incubate efficiently. The content factor is 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. We constantly extend next-generation synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 subscriber-defined, customer-defined structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to reintermediate magnetically. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without initiatives, you will lack bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 frictionless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive infrastructures and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate super-dot-com, fractal e-markets, proactive returns-on-investment are forced to become six-sigma, world-class. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for handling new 60/60/24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic TQC metrics? Have you ever been pressured to target your B2C feature set? Free? If you reinvent interactively, you may have to innovate robustly. We will aggregate the capacity of functionalities to repurpose. If you evolve ultra-iteravely, you may have to enable transparently. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. The mindshare factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our power to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.