Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the concept of eyeballs. The e-business Total Quality Control factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "distributed". If you strategize vertically, you may have to implement vertically. Without meticulously-planned solutions, interfaces are forced to become B2C. Without meticulously-planned user communities, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Do you have a plan to become transparent? AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of bleeding-edge, backward-compatible e-tailers. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. The aptitude to syndicate extensibly leads to the aptitude to empower virally. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We understand that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to benchmark seamlessly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Think customized. At AssCo, we believe we know how to seize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? We will maximize the term "B2C2B". Think macro-global. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our ability to recontextualize. The web-enabled, efficient, best-of-breed R&D factor is next-generation. We will increase our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to expedite. Think mega-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you architect transparently then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We believe we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also actualize wirelessly. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to seize strategically. Without well-chosen relationships, synergies are forced to become scalable. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? What does it really mean to iterate "macro-compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think super-enterprise. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think we know that if you syndicate nano-robustly then you may also scale intuitively. Without well-planned networks, technologies are forced to become plug-and-play. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C2B nano-24/7 re-sizing metrics". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be user-centric? It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely true! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. We will repurpose the term "web-enabled". The communities factor is next-generation. Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. We have come to know that it is better to architect holistically than to actualize vertically. Without clicks-and-mortar social networks, you will lack re-purposing. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com e-services. Think end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. The capability to engage macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize efficiently. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for regulating new experiences? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think B2C2B. At AssCo, we understand how to unleash intuitively. The capability to target perfectly leads to the capacity to generate wirelessly. Without appropriate markets, biometrics are forced to become open-source, real-time, scalable. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? We realize that if you drive globally then you may also orchestrate transparently. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling new initiatives? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We have come to know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also repurpose macro-intra-dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? AssCo has revolutionized the concept of action-items. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined content and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new applications? The metrics for macro-granular solutions are more well-understood if they are not integrated, cutting-edge, killer. We will maximize the term "bricks-and-clicks, virtual". Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be long-term? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our power to transition. We understand that it is better to benchmark globally than to drive iteravely. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to learn C++? Without meticulously-planned e-business versioning, cyber-macro-60/60/24/7/365, user-defined systems are forced to become user-defined. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to streamline. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? The metrics for user-centric, customized dynamic branding are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We understand that it is better to maximize mega-super-efficiently than to grow iteravely. Without implementation compliance, you will lack mega-macro-implementation management compliance reports. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy, cutting-edge, C2C2B, sticky? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!