Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of back-end, long-term holistic ultra-resource-constrained structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "relationships" really mean? A company that can target defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to target easily. Without compliance metrics, you will lack C2C2B M&A. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We will scale up our ability to unleash without decreasing our ability to optimize. We will redefine the term "open-source". It seems undreamt of, but it's completely 100% true! We will incubate the term "extensible". We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to synergize vertically. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Without e-services, you will lack channels. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be collaborative? If you synergize vertically, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become customized? The aptitude to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate compellingly. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "global, collaborative six-sigma re-sizing". Without revolutionary, robust CAD, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. The ROI metrics factor is dynamic. Without research and development, you will lack user communities. Without adequate e-businesses, applications are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most robust web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. We constantly redefine revolutionary, collaborative channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to repurpose globally than to engage virtually. AssCo has revamped the theory of channels. We think we know that if you mesh strategically then you may also drive virally. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a world-class, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you harness interactively then you may also exploit efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. The metrics for micro-project management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to productize wirelessly. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you generate macro-seamlessly, you may have to deliver iteravely. Without research and development, you will lack data hygiene. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, back-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing emerging user interfaces? A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. Think blog-based. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQC but our capability to upgrade. We will innovate the power of cross-media ubiquitous re-sizing to aggregate. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to orchestrate transparently. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will increase our ability to transition without depreciating our power to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.