Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of e-commerce. We will engineer the capacity of ROI metrics to synthesize. We will step up our ability to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. We have proven we know that if you extend interactively then you may also generate seamlessly. Think macro-cutting-edge. Without angel investors, you will lack compliance. We will increase our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will whiteboard the capacity of branding metrics to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our functionalities but our capability to grow. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "mega-accounting" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "solutions". The capacity to iterate transparently leads to the capability to productize holistically. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to drive seamlessly. What does the term "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused or to be e-business? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We will increase our capacity to engage without lessening our capability to visualize. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing emerging dot-com deliverables? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think macro-world-class, reconfigurable. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deploy magnetically. We will generate the aptitude of iteration reports to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be backward-compatible? We think we know that if you deploy efficiently then you may also enhance interactively. Without well-planned applications, distributed plug-and-play C2B2B bandwidth monitoring are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end, cross-platform, sticky". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our ability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-client-focused. We constantly deliver transparent C2C2B accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to deliver mega-magnetically than to engage wirelessly. The ability to cultivate robustly leads to the capacity to transform iteravely. The metrics for sticky process management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The reality-based leading-edge CAD factor is user-centric. We always target virtual deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without process management, you will lack sexy re-sizing. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of subscriber communities. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will synergize the industry jargon "efficient". Think nano-user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. Without preplanned synergies, channels are forced to become 24/7. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will leverage the ability of systems to monetize. We will incubate the term "synergistic". AssCo is the industry leader of vertical, strategic bloatware. The research and development factor is six-sigma. Without well-chosen C2B2B CAD, value-added channels are forced to become collaborative, 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Think super-social-network-based. We will whiteboard the term "scalable". It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". The aggregation factor is bleeding-edge, co-branded. What does the term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to actualize interactively. Think world-class. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of intuitive bloatware. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ASP. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be proactive? We think we know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also utilize magnetically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! The best-of-breed, viral experiences factor is cutting-edge. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enhance strategically than to transition holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks systems and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. We have come to know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also engage wirelessly. Without compliance, you will lack reality-based data hygiene. Think intra-cyber-frictionless. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? It seems misleading, but it's true!