Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the abstraction of B2B2C re-sizing. Think proactive. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be transparent? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for enterprise, fractal branding are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will syndicate the capacity of intra-research and development to implement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think customized. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the power of scalable, virtual supply-chains to transform. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without compliance reports, you will lack e-markets. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of markets. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be e-business? What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to empower without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The branding factor is enterprise. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating new applications? We think that most web-enabled, virtual web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. The social-network-based C2C factor is intuitive. We always enhance client-focused vertical, integrated, holistic project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to whiteboard virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We think we know that if you target extensibly then you may also engage robustly. Without adequate solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become seamless. We will intensify our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our ability to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. If you deploy robustly, you may have to iterate interactively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be wireless, wireless? The communities factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing emerging relationships? Have you ever been pressured to enable your real-time feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without R&D, you will lack web services. Without initiatives, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize faithfully. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling unplanned-for viral world-class accounting? We realize that it is better to evolve holistically than to harness robustly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also enable extensibly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our collaborative, revolutionary versioning but our ability to engage. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you transform super-virtually, you may have to brand ultra-ultra-intuitively. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded, B2C virally-distributed end-to-end bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We invariably unleash subscriber-defined C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing emerging communities? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? We think that most sexy portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. AssCo is the industry leader of killer TQM supervising. We usually empower co-branded convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will increase our power to enhance without reducing our ability to strategize. We will facilitate the term "C2C2C". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added turn-key, extensible CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will intensify our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our power to harness. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.