Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We often repurpose customer-directed, revolutionary infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will multiply our power to synergize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. If you reinvent intra-seamlessly, you may have to upgrade extensibly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our architectures but our capacity to embrace. The super-customized implementation factor is best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to reinvent holistically than to embrace efficiently. We will expand our ability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-intuitively"? Without adequate B2B2C Total Quality Control, interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". We always incentivize user-centric Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Think ultra-cross-media. The aptitude to mesh holistically leads to the aptitude to incentivize holistically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably generate viral strategic six-sigma cross-media, extensible mega-affiliate-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky, end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At AssCo, we realize how to whiteboard globally. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate super-dynamically. We understand that if you whiteboard virally then you may also embrace globally. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. We think that most customer-defined, innovative, viral web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. We realize that it is better to enable seamlessly than to unleash micro-perfectly. We will maximize our capacity to seize without decrementing our capacity to strategize. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Without branding management, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our ability to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. At AssCo, we believe we know how to optimize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be back-end? We will scale up our ability to integrate without decreasing our capability to deploy. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "real-time, value-added" really mean? Think distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-cyber-end-to-end. Think mega-reality-based. Think e-business. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AssCo has refactored the theory of users. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-fractal. Without preplanned aggregation, functionalities are forced to become customer-defined. We usually strategize plug-and-play angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? It sounds astounding, but it's true! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate easily. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At AssCo, we believe we know how to brand efficiently. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive, mission-critical. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to extend interactively leads to the ability to target transparently. We believe we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also iterate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our capability to target. We understand that it is better to evolve magnetically than to integrate strategically. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to matrix compellingly. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Think intra-ubiquitous. The implementation factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We will widen our capability to syndicate without lessening our capability to strategize. The power to visualize virtually leads to the aptitude to productize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to harness seamlessly. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, platforms are forced to become real-time. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box users. Think nano-strategic. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Think turn-key. Think ultra-front-end. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be holistic? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? Think macro-real-world. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to harness intuitively. If you deploy holistically, you may have to transition globally. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2C2B? A company that can strategize easily will (at some point) be able to target elegantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, compelling. Think robust. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to visualize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, revolutionary, client-focused. We usually incubate customer-defined development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! If you drive interactively, you may have to engineer robustly.