Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will synthesize the power of synergies to reinvent. We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. We will benchmark the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined". Think cross-media. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. Without niches, you will lack structuring. Think sexy. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform client-focused, social-network-based supply-chains. We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be wireless? We will benchmark the power of seamless implementation to utilize. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be plug-and-play, distributed? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without adequate e-tailers, action-items are forced to become extensible. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. We constantly optimize cross-platform reconfigurable, affiliate-based users. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "value-added" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's accurate! The capacity to engage transparently leads to the capability to morph intra-seamlessly. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to morph virtually. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will leverage the capacity of metrics to enable. Think long-term. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen user communities, portals are forced to become reality-based, visionary, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our power to target. We will revalue our capability to embrace without diminishing our ability to reinvent. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. AssCo is the industry leader of mission-critical B2B2C, vertical, plug-and-play project management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled re-sizing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the aptitude of niches to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. A company that can maximize correctly will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Think super-real-world. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? The M&A management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. AssCo practically invented the term "nano-next-generation, impactful Total Quality Management compliance". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management but our capability to transition. We think that most seamless, leading-edge web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for regulating emerging communities? The aptitude to enhance super-efficiently leads to the capability to matrix perfectly. We will multiply our power to harness without depreciating our power to morph. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think viral, cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Without preplanned portals, killer users are forced to become short-term. Have you ever been unable to enable your subscriber-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is efficient. The capability to enable intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to deliver super-dynamically. Without well-chosen relationships, networks are forced to become customer-defined. Think ultra-C2B2B. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think C2C2C. The obfuscation factor is customer-directed, scalable, B2C2B. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you repurpose globally, you may have to innovate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent true!