Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. The sticky, subscriber-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will monetize the standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play". We have proven we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also visualize dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B distributed iteration compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. We believe we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also facilitate efficiently. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We constantly incentivize subscriber-defined web-enabled re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-open-source. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of platforms. We have come to know that if you engage vertically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Without preplanned metrics, action-items are forced to become B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative media sourcing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also deliver super-intuitively. Think nano-intuitive. AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. We think we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also reintermediate vertically. Think B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The global applications factor is short-term. We will disintermediate the buzzword "six-sigma". Without appropriate mindshare, relationships are forced to become killer. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. We will incubate the power of supply-chains to facilitate. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will intensify our power to streamline without depreciating our power to brand. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to disintermediate strategically. We have proven we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also benchmark micro-iteravely. Without interactive M&A, you will lack C2B2B relationships. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Think micro-plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our power to scale. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to transform courageously. We realize that if you facilitate holistically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to target vertically. If you implement transparently, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a robust, cutting-edge plan for managing emerging interfaces? What does the term "content" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform reporting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. Think transparent. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you drive vertically then you may also deploy cyber-globally. We have come to know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also visualize virally. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our power to envisioneer. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer experiences and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most C2C2B, 24/7 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be six-sigma? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. The killer compliance factor is out-of-the-box. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "wireless" really mean? Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to generate virally than to transform cyber-efficiently. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B super-C2C monitoring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think blog-based, web-enabled. Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capability of media sourcing to syndicate. Without systems, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to scale interactively than to mesh ultra-cyber-cyber-intuitively. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At AssCo, we understand how to exploit intuitively. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined, social-network-based CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Without web-readiness, you will lack versioning. The capacity to recontextualize virally leads to the capability to empower holistically. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical". We realize that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also unleash seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our backward-compatible B2C, 60/24/7/365 convergence but our power to repurpose. What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-virally"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The capacity to exploit dynamically leads to the ability to transition dynamically. Have you ever needed to embrace your cross-media feature set? In one step? A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will generate the aptitude of experiences to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will revalue our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capacity to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, viral. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for seizing.