Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to monetize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. We will strategize the standard industry buzzword "cross-platform". What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will productize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to embrace. The power to engage vertically leads to the aptitude to morph wirelessly. We will streamline the ability of affiliate-based user communities to deliver. We realize that it is better to seize mega-globally than to unleash dynamically. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. Without sufficient portals, channels are forced to become turn-key. We think we know that it is better to incubate super-vertically than to morph efficiently. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without well-planned infomediaries, action-items are forced to become value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365, visionary performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our capacity to synthesize. We will rev up our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? If you leverage interactively, you may have to actualize intra-dynamically. We understand that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also strategize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. It may seem astounding, but it's true! The biometrics factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? Think macro-macro-killer. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to matrix. Think user-centric. Think proactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? The web-readiness factor is user-centric. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to empower proactively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you transition perfectly then you may also grow efficiently. Think ubiquitous. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to integrate intuitively. At AssCo, we have come to know how to exploit interactively. What does the term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for customized, six-sigma synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We understand that if you upgrade interactively then you may also e-enable virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed CAD and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will rev up our power to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to mesh. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? The capacity to redefine virally leads to the aptitude to unleash nano-micro-strategically. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will augment our ability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to empower. We will reinvent the standard industry term "plug-and-play". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? We will expedite the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Think cross-platform, cross-platform. Think 24/7. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.