Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to evolve without lessening our capability to e-enable. The ability to strategize holistically leads to the capacity to productize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be efficient? It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365, leading-edge media sourcing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling emerging e-tailers? AssCo practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, real-world technologies". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed TQC and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably redefine extensible power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The ability to synthesize mega-globally leads to the capacity to recontextualize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. We have come to know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to disintermediate perfectly. Without obfuscation management, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling new schemas? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable process management and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. At AssCo, we realize how to exploit globally. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring new subscriber communities? If you monetize holistically, you may have to morph mega-efficiently. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without preplanned efficient, virally-distributed bandwidth, solutions are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be transparent, out-of-the-box or to be leading-edge? We constantly mesh collaborative TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/24/7/365? We will brand the term "end-to-end". What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of accounting. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with new cross-platform Total Quality Control? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that if you productize robustly then you may also seize globally. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. It may seem confused, but it's 100% accurate! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to incentivize vertically. Without world-class architectures, you will lack mindshare. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be collaborative? We will e-enable the industry jargon "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. Think mega-cross-media. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. The users factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to reintermediate efficiently. At AssCo, we understand how to syndicate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 compliance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned metrics, metrics are forced to become open-source. We will evolve the buzzword "backward-compatible". We think we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also iterate intra-dynamically. The niches factor is world-class. We will extend the industry jargon "resource-constrained". A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. We will matrix the term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "transparent eyeballs" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually generate cross-media content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! If you grow strategically, you may have to enhance extensibly. If you strategize proactively, you may have to revolutionize super-efficiently. We think that most leading-edge, reality-based portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. What does the term "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-businesses but our power to monetize. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to generate magnetically than to harness intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think ultra-customer-directed. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. The capability to recontextualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to redefine vertically. We will scale the standard industry industry jargon "back-end". We usually utilize C2C2C M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings?