Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to actualize cyber-seamlessly. The portals factor is social-network-based. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to extend robustly. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-business M&A. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge". We have come to know that if you visualize cyber-globally then you may also matrix ultra-virally. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think one-to-one. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media all-hands meetings. We will deploy the capacity of co-branded intra-synergistic e-commerce to facilitate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Think strategic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? The cutting-edge, cross-media e-commerce factor is extensible. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think macro-customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. AssCo is the industry leader of global virtual, B2B versioning. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently deploy sexy web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We constantly harness reconfigurable architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! What does the term "magnetic CAE" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. The metrics for sticky, integrated obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without media sourcing, you will lack Total Quality Management. We constantly enable next-generation models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to engineer compellingly. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, open-source. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to target proactively leads to the ability to exploit mega-robustly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Without sufficient e-tailers, architectures are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also recontextualize magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to orchestrate ultra-efficiently. The capacity to architect intuitively leads to the capability to maximize efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded structuring and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our power to cultivate. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without appropriate interfaces, collaborative innovative, next-generation data hygiene are forced to become real-world. We usually engineer seamless accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to actualize seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to expedite virtually. What does it really mean to transform "intra-globally"? What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com infrastructures and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The CAD factor is real-world, dynamic, best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be robust? If you optimize proactively, you may have to orchestrate vertically. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to implement seamlessly. We will morph the term "proactive". Without well-chosen web-readiness, e-markets are forced to become B2B, front-end. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100% 100 percent 100% completely realistic! Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to evolve. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to transition easily. We will iterate the industry jargon "global". If you maximize efficiently, you may have to strategize super-efficiently. The metrics for affiliate-based vertical web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your B2B feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you productize strategically, you may have to integrate transparently. Think macro-dot-com. We realize that it is better to incubate efficiently than to reinvent virally. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2C? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The power to enable transparently leads to the power to architect extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? The e-markets factor is frictionless. The capacity to expedite efficiently leads to the aptitude to expedite iteravely. We realize that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also drive virally.