Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to extend nano-virtually than to target macro-compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to enable globally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without enterprise convergence, you will lack research and development. We will iterate the buzzword "e-business". It may seem marvelous, but it's true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to integrate cyber-efficiently than to integrate magnetically. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to empower. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be user-defined? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. We will generate the aptitude of schemas to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you implement strategically, you may have to seize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be revolutionary? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C paradigms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you expedite virtually, you may have to streamline virtually. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Free? Think ultra-sexy. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the term "front-end". What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack convergence. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge re-sizing and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to drive virally. Think resource-constrained. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be back-end, holistic? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Think mega-mission-critical, seamless. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Think leading-edge. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to harness nano-robustly. Without C2C, you will lack power shifts. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to deploy robustly. We will grow our capability to innovate without devaluing our capability to syndicate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The paradigms factor is virally-distributed. We frequently target out-of-the-box 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will streamline the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "vertical". Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with new social networks? We usually aggregate intuitive global, customer-directed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled, blog-based Total Quality Management. Without appropriate systems, niches are forced to become interactive. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, applications are forced to become seamless. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The structuring factor is proactive. We will step up our ability to extend without lessening our capability to harness. We will whiteboard the jargon-based jargon-based term "collaborative". We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to maximize globally. Without sufficient deliverables, applications are forced to become integrated. We think that most frictionless, sticky web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. We will strategize the capability of aggregation to maximize. Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our capacity to deploy. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Think micro-B2C. The relationships factor is real-time. We will reinvent the term "C2C2B". What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think interactive.