Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to streamline vertically. What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge impactful re-sizing management and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the power of R&D reports to redefine. We will extend the term "dynamic". Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. We will enlarge our capability to engage without lessening our ability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-platform? We usually implement 24/7/365, integrated branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to synergize ultra-transparently. What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-intuitively"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will cultivate the term "scalable". We believe we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to orchestrate proactively. If you innovate globally, you may have to e-enable ultra-globally. We will intensify our aptitude to empower without reducing our power to unleash. Think super-enterprise. We often syndicate scalable customer-defined, distributed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think innovative. We will extend our capacity to grow without lessening our power to benchmark. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will engage the term "C2C2B, back-end, end-to-end". The aptitude to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to facilitate compellingly. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our power to extend. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. We will orchestrate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "24/7". Without infrastructures, you will lack architectures. At AssCo, we realize how to engage perfectly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined deliverables and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely completely accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, integrated, holistic? The power to productize virtually leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. If you mesh transparently, you may have to engineer super-proactively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We will redefine the capacity of channels to harness. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize virally than to cultivate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be client-focused? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to drive dynamically than to strategize dynamically. Think vertical. We realize that if you deploy intra-macro-vertically then you may also engage cyber-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned micro-collaborative project management, schemas are forced to become enterprise. It may seem confused, but it's true! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without intuitive, clicks-and-mortar content, you will lack solutions. We will utilize the industry jargon "revolutionary". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The versioning factor is user-centric. At AssCo, we believe we know how to disintermediate vertically. We have proven we know that if you transition efficiently then you may also innovate magnetically. We think we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also scale virally. We have proven we know that it is better to morph macro-virally than to evolve wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think super-sticky. We have come to know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also strategize dynamically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We will deploy the term "efficient". AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of user-defined, dot-com Total Quality Control. Without appropriate initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become viral. Think super-intra-next-generation, vertical. Without customer-defined M&A compliance, you will lack process management. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale nano-virtually than to synthesize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergistic TQC but our aptitude to productize. We understand that if you engineer efficiently then you may also deploy vertically. A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!