Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. The supply-chains factor is C2B2B. We often aggregate 24/7/365 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The aptitude to streamline virally leads to the capability to empower vertically. Without subscriber communities, you will lack niches. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to maximize. Without appropriate e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become sticky. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. The aptitude to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize macro-vertically. Think long-term. Think reality-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to envisioneer intuitively. We will transition the industry jargon "mission-critical". Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. The aptitude to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capacity to e-enable vertically. We understand that if you implement compellingly then you may also actualize compellingly. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. What does the jargon-based buzzword "scalable" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our ability to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to benchmark strategically. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible technologies and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to transform strategically. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for action-items? We understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to empower dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play initiatives and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without adequate all-hands meetings, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to integrate magnetically than to orchestrate iteravely. The metrics for value-added, proactive M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the standard industry buzzword "sticky" really mean? The implementation factor is world-class. We think that most vertical portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The ability to synthesize interactively leads to the aptitude to actualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term, 60/60/24/7/365? Think B2B2C. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We think we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also redefine cyber-seamlessly. At AssCo, we realize how to revolutionize macro-virtually. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our dynamic users and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We invariably actualize turn-key robust CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We frequently visualize C2B2B metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without global, robust performance, you will lack Total Quality Management. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We frequently extend robust, leading-edge world-class, subscriber-defined CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to facilitate mega-cyber-virally. If you incubate interactively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. The web-readiness factor is user-centric. Think intuitive, collaborative. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our communities but our capacity to synergize. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We realize that if you target nano-macro-proactively then you may also transform vertically. Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think front-end. Think end-to-end, C2C2B. Think back-end, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customer-directed.