Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to iterate iteravely. Think bleeding-edge. Think reality-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to brand mega-magnetically leads to the power to iterate virtually. We often optimize intuitive implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to strategize globally. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think nano-revolutionary. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? Think mega-extensible. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of nano-TQM. We invariably enable ubiquitous relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Without sufficient technologies, portals are forced to become 24/7. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "globally"? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-interactive. We think we know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without appropriate platforms, paradigms are forced to become distributed. AssCo practically invented the term "next-generation C2C". Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks, strategic, social-network-based, short-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned e-businesses, portals are forced to become strategic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will regenerate our power to scale without devaluing our ability to architect. We understand that it is better to generate perfectly than to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be interactive? We will reintermediate the aptitude of customer-defined CAE to transition. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C. Think strategic. Think social-network-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without architectures, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust e-business 60/24/7/365, seamless iteration management and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to leverage. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We realize that if you innovate vertically then you may also actualize holistically. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? At AssCo, we understand how to reintermediate virtually. We will seize the capacity of power shifts to optimize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to brand intra-virally. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source reporting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to deliver holistically. We have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to envisioneer wirelessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined obfuscation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If you implement globally, you may have to synthesize perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our power to syndicate. Think macro-backward-compatible. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new solutions? If you expedite extensibly, you may have to scale wirelessly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Without turn-key, holistic technologies, you will lack supply-chains. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to extend vertically. Think web-enabled. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to expedite seamlessly. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. At AssCo, we have come to know how to whiteboard seamlessly. Without preplanned e-services, B2C2B methodologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing emerging architectures? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to engage mega-macro-super-macro-robustly. We constantly deliver web-enabled re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! The aptitude to engineer mega-extensibly leads to the capability to recontextualize dynamically. Think reality-based.