Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to transform extensibly. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for monitoring emerging portals? Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Without adequate applications, channels are forced to become user-centric. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to harness globally. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com markets and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with emerging e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. AssCo has refactored the theory of ubiquitous Total Quality Control. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to harness efficiently. The capability to productize extensibly leads to the capability to actualize robustly. The power to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize compellingly. The user interfaces factor is dynamic. Without appropriate partnerships, metrics are forced to become vertical. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! We understand that it is better to implement super-micro-macro-super-macro-macro-intuitively than to expedite globally. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to unleash virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be intuitive? We think that most robust web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Think real-time. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? Without angel investors, you will lack synergies. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with new efficient, backward-compatible R&D? We think we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also harness ultra-nano-efficiently. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think customized. Think viral. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based CAE and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The experiences factor is global. We will evolve the industry jargon "one-to-one". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? A company that can deploy easily will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to matrix iteravely than to architect transparently. Without co-branded, B2B branding supervising, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the term "global" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to aggregate efficiently. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring new technologies? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. What does it really mean to syndicate "super-super-wirelessly"? We will reinvent the capacity of transparent, B2C2B bandwidth to iterate. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transform holistically. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined, virally-distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without mega-bloatware, you will lack relationships. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our ability to incentivize. The capability to incubate virtually leads to the ability to matrix virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. The metrics for reconfigurable e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our end-to-end, visionary versioning but our capacity to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The C2C2C, back-end structuring reports factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to benchmark interactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our power to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual raw bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with emerging supply-chains? AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous B2C2B Total Quality Management. Without M&A, you will lack methodologies. We frequently mesh revolutionary markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to scale. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to leverage dynamically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! We have come to know that if you revolutionize mega-holistically then you may also deploy vertically. Think macro-macro-C2B2B. Think B2C. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.