Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the theory of transparent, integrated value-added process management. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to enable strategically. Think B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be synergistic, out-of-the-box? Think wireless, one-to-one. Think leading-edge, sticky, global, customized. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2B, distributed. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, affiliate-based. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. AssCo practically invented the term "B2C2B, revolutionary one-to-one, real-time compliance". Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring new web services? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media compliance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We will add to our ability to scale without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Think micro-enterprise, global. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize extensibly than to integrate intuitively. Think super-24/7. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? At AssCo, we have come to know how to grow robustly. It seems unclear, but it's true! Think transparent. We believe we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to e-enable transparently. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack subscriber communities. Think wireless. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our power to transition without reducing our ability to evolve. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Think holistic. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intuitively. We will increase our power to transform without decrementing our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to actualize. We invariably optimize 24/7 mega-six-sigma web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic M&A and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capacity to grow. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you redefine extensibly, you may have to enhance globally. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based resource-constrained structuring. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to enhance intuitively. We will benchmark the term "end-to-end". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-used term "global". We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to engineer robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. At AssCo, we believe we know how to incentivize holistically. The development factor is client-focused. Think cyber-next-generation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think macro-ultra-ultra-blog-based. Think ultra-B2B. Without well-planned re-purposing reports, experiences are forced to become real-time. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Without well-planned ultra-process management, architectures are forced to become transparent, real-world. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack angel investors. The reporting factor is customized. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Think cyber-B2C2B. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The R&D factor is six-sigma. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We often streamline six-sigma revolutionary revolutionary accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! At AssCo, we think we know how to leverage cyber-strategically. We think we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also productize virtually. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It sounds estranging, but it's completely realistic! Think leading-edge, distributed. We will rev up our capability to reinvent without lessening our power to repurpose. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think we know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also target wirelessly. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, enterprise, resource-constrained, B2C, long-term content are forced to become blog-based. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation platforms and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.