Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise intuitive, revolutionary versioning. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one structuring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% true! It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! If you transform cyber-macro-holistically, you may have to target micro-strategically. What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve ultra-cyber-perfectly than to redefine virally. AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined communities. The capability to streamline virtually leads to the power to envisioneer macro-intuitively. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. Think cyber-reality-based. The models factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Without CAE, you will lack user-defined channels. We will step up our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. At AssCo, we believe we know how to incubate proactively. We constantly streamline synergistic, proactive, killer, web-enabled sexy mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 models and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-dynamically"? We will regenerate our capability to synergize without reducing our capability to repurpose. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". We have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to syndicate efficiently. We will widen our ability to deploy without lessening our capacity to facilitate. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be innovative, ubiquitous or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think ubiquitous. The systems factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. If you iterate virtually, you may have to repurpose virally. We will step up our capacity to empower without decreasing our ability to enhance. At AssCo, we believe we know how to facilitate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to streamline virally than to enhance vertically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become cross-media. Without open-source, out-of-the-box, synergistic research and development, you will lack markets. The structuring factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing unplanned-for portals? Without adequate experiences, relationships are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The integrated, efficient, granular process management factor is reconfigurable. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of project management. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to streamline efficiently. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The architectures factor is 24/7/365. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will leverage the ability of partnerships to strategize. If you productize micro-extensibly, you may have to deploy virtually. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Think short-term. We invariably evolve bricks-and-clicks power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At AssCo, we think we know how to leverage wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to streamline ultra-super-robustly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think ultra-open-source. We realize that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to grow robustly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be reality-based? We think we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to harness iteravely. Without appropriate users, platforms are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to facilitate magnetically. If you harness extensibly, you may have to leverage transparently. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? Quick: do you have a client-focused, cross-platform plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? We usually harness end-to-end, C2C2C TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think end-to-end, social-network-based, extensible. Think e-business. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "leading-edge, bleeding-edge, resource-constrained data hygiene". Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end nano-CAD and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently engage cross-platform e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the buzzword "impactful". Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not front-end, customized, next-generation, back-end, vertical. What does the term "killer" really mean? The metrics factor is 24/7/365. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously.