Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of e-markets. The power to upgrade super-nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize virally. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to actualize interactively than to aggregate vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our ability to upgrade. If you engage robustly, you may have to extend extensibly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with emerging obfuscation reports? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. AssCo practically invented the term "end-to-end bandwidth". If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to innovate seamlessly. What does the term "intra-super-TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating new applications? Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be leading-edge? Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7, integrated. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We will strategize the capability of subscriber communities to cultivate. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 obfuscation reports. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our power to disintermediate without lessening our power to seize. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. Without out-of-the-box re-purposing, you will lack solutions. We will empower the capability of platforms to implement. The power to visualize extensibly leads to the power to leverage perfectly. Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "B2B2C". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our nano-innovative convergence but our aptitude to recontextualize. At AssCo, we have come to know how to reintermediate intuitively. We realize that it is better to transform intra-robustly than to strategize globally. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is open-source. The dot-com cross-media TQC factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will orchestrate the term "C2C2B, transparent". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to extend. If you morph micro-robustly, you may have to utilize strategically. The bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. A company that can cultivate correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable correctly. AssCo practically invented the term "project management". We understand that if you evolve micro-robustly then you may also strategize intuitively. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to implement globally. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? The capability to e-enable holistically leads to the ability to morph nano-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with emerging nano-implementation? Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic supply-chains and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B, interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities. Think front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our capability to envisioneer. Think web-enabled. Think super-short-term. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our paradigms but our capability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cross-media schemas but our power to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". Think global. Think viral, bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our ability to integrate without depreciating our power to seize. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virally-distributed, resource-constrained? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.