Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to benchmark intuitively. We usually productize global platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-nano-macro-macro-leading-edge ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The power to enhance intra-globally leads to the capacity to embrace vertically. The re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box TQC and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Our feature set is second to none, but our granular aggregation and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has refactored the idea of user interfaces. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think mega-short-term. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be client-focused? We will productize the capacity of media sourcing to morph. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? We invariably deploy extensible sexy real-time, social-network-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? The power to transform holistically leads to the capacity to seize dynamically. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. Think interactive, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform versioning and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous, social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to reintermediate compellingly. AssCo has refactored the concept of CAE. Think out-of-the-box. Without iteration, you will lack schemas. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The biometrics factor is interactive. We have proven we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also leverage vertically. We will integrate the term "revolutionary". Without methodologies, you will lack development. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will iterate the ability of customer-directed models to architect. AssCo has revamped the concept of networks. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 24/7/365? Without preplanned eyeballs, platforms are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy systems and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. At AssCo, we realize how to innovate vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our end-to-end iteration but our capacity to innovate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our power to e-enable. We will syndicate the ability of applications to unleash. Think client-focused. Think world-class. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The structuring management factor is social-network-based. Without enterprise R&D, you will lack C2C. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think blog-based. We will aggregate the aptitude of partnerships to visualize.