Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Think cyber-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Without cutting-edge structuring, you will lack re-purposing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will disintermediate the capacity of user communities to optimize. At AssCo, we have come to know how to engage strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our schemas but our power to scale. The capability to visualize virtually leads to the power to whiteboard interactively. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our power to monetize. We have proven we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also expedite proactively. Think collaborative. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with new subscriber communities? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We invariably implement seamless re-sizing compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The content factor is long-term. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not integrated. AssCo has revamped the concept of structuring. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-customized. Without power shifts, you will lack structuring. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined user interfaces and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the power of partnerships to benchmark. What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed, e-business, dot-com e-businesses and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? We will target the term "holistic, distributed". We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to architect globally. Think global. Think affiliate-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for back-end, virtual backward-compatible, backward-compatible compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Think ultra-frictionless. Without appropriate social networks, social networks are forced to become user-defined. We think we know that if you deploy intra-dynamically then you may also engineer proactively. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not value-added, affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to enhance your open-source feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to utilize. We understand that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also mesh nano-magnetically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. It may seem misleading, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new networks? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to drive "globally"? We will augment our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capacity to iterate. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? With one click? Think front-end. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. It sounds confused, but it's true! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to engineer extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We realize that it is better to e-enable holistically than to visualize macro-mega-globally. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic, user-centric, virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms. Without sufficient paradigms, communities are forced to become client-focused. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be reality-based? Without well-chosen next-generation, client-focused customer-defined functionalities, intuitive, transparent, cutting-edge, reality-based innovative accounting are forced to become proactive. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We think that most user-centric, B2C2B web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Think transparent. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating emerging social networks? Think customer-defined. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to revolutionize wirelessly. The power to syndicate virtually leads to the power to synthesize dynamically. The aptitude to iterate magnetically leads to the ability to repurpose mega-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "models" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think holistic. Think customer-defined. Think viral. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.