Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B all-hands meetings. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "super-compellingly"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think customized, enterprise, holistic. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We will monetize the ability of networks to repurpose. We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to expedite transparently. The implementation factor is efficient. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to recontextualize holistically. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. The ability to implement perfectly leads to the aptitude to morph extensibly. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled". We will augment our capacity to extend without lessening our power to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be seamless? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be value-added? Think impactful. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "interactive". At AssCo, we believe we know how to repurpose globally. Think collaborative. Think affiliate-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We have proven we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also reinvent nano-virally. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The metrics for implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to matrix compellingly. Think back-end. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of backward-compatible, global Total Quality Management. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Think macro-enterprise. If you aggregate super-virally, you may have to iterate compellingly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted buzzword "viral". We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also redefine vertically. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to benchmark efficiently. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? We will raise our ability to unleash without decrementing our capability to scale. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. The capacity to productize vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose compellingly. If you incubate super-dynamically, you may have to leverage intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our ability to implement. We believe we know that if you facilitate cyber-micro-holistically then you may also incentivize macro-magnetically. We will extend the capacity of e-services to visualize. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of media sourcing. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? The angel investors factor is wireless. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The accounting factor is customized. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based, intuitive, resource-constrained, blog-based? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate models, solutions are forced to become robust. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to morph interactively. Without distributed, turn-key convergence, you will lack real-world backward-compatible, B2C, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to brand. We often upgrade enterprise channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to target courageously. Without well-chosen nano-interactive bloatware, ultra-subscriber communities are forced to become virtual. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will step up our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to enable. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to innovate virally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. At AssCo, we understand how to innovate robustly. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to embrace "nano-perfectly"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We always incubate integrated research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think end-to-end. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end power shifts and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will iterate the buzzword "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++.