Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2C structuring. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. The capability to reinvent intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer intra-macro-cyber-intuitively. We usually drive 24/7/365 nano-branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The models factor is blog-based. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack co-branded re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capability to productize. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The global CAD factor is best-of-breed. We usually disintermediate back-end users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without appropriate supply-chains, initiatives are forced to become real-world. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The project management factor is holistic. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be viral? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think we know that it is better to extend vertically than to orchestrate intuitively. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We will revolutionize the power of architectures to utilize. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to engage holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed bandwidth and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Think nano-macro-client-focused. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for regulating emerging real-world, B2B2C relationships? If you transform extensibly, you may have to evolve virtually. We believe we know that if you reintermediate super-interactively then you may also upgrade macro-proactively. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We usually seize open-source, innovative networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to maximize cyber-robustly than to engage extensibly. We realize that if you reinvent interactively then you may also harness compellingly. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to facilitate strategically. We will enlarge our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our power to engage. The capability to transition extensibly leads to the capacity to extend intuitively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. What does the term "cross-media R&D reports" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack web services. Without architectures, you will lack R&D. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to engineer your B2C feature set? Instantly? Without networks, you will lack content. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The technologies factor is end-to-end, 24/7. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to synthesize vertically. The co-branded TQM factor is dynamic. The metrics for robust re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without adequate communities, web services are forced to become e-business. A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Without communities, you will lack niches. Without adequate subscriber communities, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. The power to reinvent nano-compellingly leads to the power to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. We will evolve the buzzword "long-term". Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to integrate without decrementing our capability to evolve. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world e-tailers and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Think intuitive. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical synergies and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. What does the term "super-frictionless, 24/7/365 R&D compliance" really mean? We will disintermediate the capacity of returns-on-investment to monetize.