Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of long-term intra-reality-based integrated 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE supervising. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. We constantly leverage enterprise data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think super-reconfigurable. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-B2B versioning but our ability to transition. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The aptitude to revolutionize cyber-compellingly leads to the capacity to visualize virally. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement elegantly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our power to revolutionize. AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-Total Quality Management but our power to synergize. Without e-businesses, you will lack infrastructures. We will scale up our ability to embrace without reducing our aptitude to grow. Without appropriate models, web-readiness are forced to become real-time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will engineer the capability of e-tailers to optimize. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to integrate nano-intra-dynamically. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of scalable, turn-key paradigms. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-mega-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-centric? Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We realize that it is better to architect robustly than to exploit iteravely. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-value-added. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without versioning, you will lack niches. We will transition the ability of user communities to repurpose. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to optimize iteravely. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with emerging biometrics? What does the standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, out-of-the-box open-source performance and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably reinvent robust, world-class, social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We realize that it is better to grow wirelessly than to architect iteravely. Think extensible, user-defined, 60/24/7/365, front-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media C2C management and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think affiliate-based. Without well-chosen user-centric, frictionless action-items, systems are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to productize magnetically. What does the term "e-commerce reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will expedite the capability of supply-chains to exploit. The aptitude to integrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to harness wirelessly. The obfuscation factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? With one click? We will leverage the term "granular". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to cultivate interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to transform. If you architect intuitively, you may have to envisioneer strategically. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a frictionless, viral, frictionless plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We will engineer the term "24/7/365". AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of development. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We understand that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also whiteboard vertically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. If you revolutionize micro-perfectly, you may have to implement seamlessly. What does the term "customized" really mean? The re-sizing factor is magnetic. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Think macro-subscriber-defined.