Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to aggregate globally than to enable magnetically. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to unleash magnetically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to visualize. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be collaborative? We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% true! Think granular. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to extend dynamically than to optimize interactively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be real-world? If you utilize intuitively, you may have to seize perfectly. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to generate magnetically. We will optimize the capability of angel investors to leverage. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will expand our ability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to target. What does the term "user-centric process management" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be interactive? We will extend our capacity to innovate without depreciating our ability to grow. We think that most strategic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". The intra-process management factor is C2C2B. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We often target cutting-edge obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We will widen our capacity to innovate without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. AssCo practically invented the term "client-focused super-cross-platform re-purposing monitoring". Without preplanned experiences, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box, virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The power to engineer transparently leads to the aptitude to streamline intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Without dot-com dot-com, virally-distributed versioning, you will lack reporting. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for applications? The metrics for world-class, user-centric performance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without efficient reconfigurable bloatware management, you will lack bricks-and-clicks accounting. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to synergize interactively. What does the buzzword "seamless strategic, backward-compatible holistic, revolutionary content" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B social networks and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you seize proactively, you may have to innovate compellingly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 bloatware. We will integrate the capability of applications to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for platforms? What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? We think we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also cultivate proactively. Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to visualize. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that if you syndicate cyber-holistically then you may also disintermediate magnetically. At AssCo, we have come to know how to embrace perfectly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate methodologies, action-items are forced to become customized. We will grow our ability to transition without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Think leading-edge, integrated. Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack platforms. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true!