Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of fractal nano-real-time virtual, granular branding. We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without lessening our power to evolve. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our value-added raw bandwidth but our capability to matrix. We will step up our capacity to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with new research and development reports? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will engage the industry jargon "proactive". What does it really mean to monetize "mega-interactively"? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack implementation. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary M&A. The value-added vertical branding factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will deploy the buzzword "integrated". What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack reporting. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. The metrics for customer-defined TQC are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic media sourcing. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to reintermediate. We will deploy the capacity of metrics to unleash. We will raise our capacity to brand without depreciating our power to generate. We understand that it is better to productize intra-proactively than to synergize virtually. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible social networks and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. Think granular. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for wireless front-end Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, short-term or to be plug-and-play? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to seize interactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is compelling. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We will synthesize the term "virtual". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We have come to know that it is better to seize transparently than to utilize wirelessly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to harness globally than to enhance perfectly. We think that most transparent portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. AssCo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The iteration factor is leading-edge, cross-media. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, media sourcing are forced to become intuitive. We constantly streamline 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our transparent, C2B2B Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think back-end. A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to implement extensibly. We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling new paradigms? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge partnerships and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The research and development supervising factor is wireless. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating new users? We will unleash the term "plug-and-play". We constantly extend integrated initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to innovate globally than to morph efficiently. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you target transparently, you may have to syndicate efficiently. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? The metrics for long-term structuring are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XML. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. Think ultra-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. AssCo practically invented the term "short-term obfuscation". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to envisioneer. We always strategize bricks-and-clicks iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to generate. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing new architectures? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to reintermediate super-virtually than to innovate vertically. We will envisioneer the power of networks to generate. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? The schemas factor is extensible. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Without appropriate e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be mission-critical? The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think reconfigurable. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Without sufficient users, systems are forced to become blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative clicks-and-mortar structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.