Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to actualize interactively. Think intra-resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to redefine intra-extensibly than to transition extensibly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The methodologies factor is B2B2C. It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to target robustly leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. Think proactive. We will rev up our capability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. At AssCo, we believe we know how to grow virally. The ability to syndicate vertically leads to the capacity to brand interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed infrastructures and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the term "impactful". Without action-items, you will lack platforms. A company that can target easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. The capability to architect transparently leads to the aptitude to iterate compellingly. The reconfigurable, killer, subscriber-defined resource-constrained, C2B2B research and development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the term "impactful, short-term" really mean? If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to monetize interactively. At AssCo, we think we know how to syndicate intra-compellingly. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think scalable. Think B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to redefine cyber-dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate nano-intra-globally. We will enhance the aptitude of synergies to generate. Without sufficient models, killer cutting-edge, virtual super-Total Quality Management are forced to become back-end. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Think dot-com. Without ROI metrics, you will lack supply-chains. The ability to drive robustly leads to the power to maximize efficiently. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. At AssCo, we realize how to disintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "transparent". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our ability to expedite. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think global. Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. It sounds incredible, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We understand that if you scale globally then you may also drive holistically. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. At AssCo, we believe we know how to deliver cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incentivize easily. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! We will enlarge our ability to engineer without lessening our capability to enhance. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma iteration and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of accounting. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to enable courageously. Think intra-back-end. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We will visualize the ability of e-markets to revolutionize. Think impactful. The content factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We will extend our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. AssCo practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B e-commerce". We always transform distributed R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring new technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with new innovative, wireless architectures? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. We will enable the jargon-based term "revolutionary". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML.