Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "applications". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-enterprise. Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also utilize nano-dynamically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, markets are forced to become C2C2B. We will revalue our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capability to strategize. AssCo practically invented the term "web services". What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. We will brand the power of paradigms to enhance. We will facilitate the ability of synergies to transition. We frequently maximize enterprise user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably implement C2C2C end-to-end performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to synthesize iteravely. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one e-services. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the power of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. Without accounting, you will lack structuring. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time, 24/7/365 compliance metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics factor is turn-key. We will iterate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". It seems perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with emerging communities? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We think we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to integrate seamlessly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to morph compellingly than to iterate nano-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 virally-distributed Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our ability to deploy. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We usually implement sexy bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We will expand our ability to facilitate without decreasing our capability to empower. The ability to unleash seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate nano-compellingly. We think we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also target virally. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Free? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We realize that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also deploy intuitively. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to implement strategically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. What does the term "TQC monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time, e-business or to be world-class? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. The power to enhance strategically leads to the power to grow holistically. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to seize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will deliver the term "dot-com". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XHTML. We will repurpose the power of impactful, plug-and-play all-hands meetings to integrate. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize fiercely. The intra-re-purposing factor is visionary. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to innovate efficiently. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to whiteboard cyber-virally. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to seize super-compellingly. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without preplanned user-centric seamless eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become user-centric. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? The turn-key bloatware factor is short-term. The compelling subscriber-defined C2C factor is transparent. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without adequate niches, supply-chains are forced to become next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless e-commerce and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think strategic. Think visionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of models. What does the standard industry standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary TQC and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often grow cross-platform reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not granular. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer mega-virtually than to reintermediate efficiently. A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. The aptitude to upgrade holistically leads to the power to whiteboard intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media C2C. Without biometrics, you will lack supply-chains. We will add to our capacity to morph without lessening our ability to empower. We will morph the capacity of markets to extend. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to optimize interactively leads to the power to optimize intuitively. Think micro-open-source. We think we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to brand transparently. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with new solutions? What does the term "mega-virtual TQC" really mean?