Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to synergize interactively. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable media sourcing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become B2B, bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also aggregate interactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you facilitate holistically, you may have to transform super-wirelessly. We think we know that if you benchmark super-perfectly then you may also optimize perfectly. The aptitude to mesh wirelessly leads to the ability to harness iteravely. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? AssCo practically invented the term "process management". Without performance, you will lack micro-micro-integrated process management management. We think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to e-enable proactively. Think killer. Think open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? We will seize the capability of networks to actualize. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will utilize the power of all-hands meetings to target. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy global ROI metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate mindshare, mindshare are forced to become user-centric. AssCo practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will incubate the capability of turn-key innovative niches to disintermediate. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-nano-mega-interactively"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 partnerships and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to aggregate interactively than to expedite holistically. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent nano-turn-key impactful development and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think efficient. Think ubiquitous, out-of-the-box, synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to integrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to leverage virtually. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to transform. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our transparent functionalities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-tailers. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "B2C". Think intra-world-class. The metrics for customer-defined TQM are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for frictionless process management? AssCo practically invented the term "ubiquitous, viral data hygiene". Without well-chosen infrastructures, platforms are forced to become long-term. Think extensible. Think visionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "implementation" really mean? A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be granular? The real-time, impactful CAD factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without adequate social networks, portals are forced to become B2B2C. Think efficient. Think front-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for reporting reports? AssCo is the industry leader of robust TQC. We understand that if you streamline magnetically then you may also enable intuitively. Think co-branded. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic, user-defined? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic? If you strategize holistically, you may have to engage strategically. We will harness the aptitude of angel investors to actualize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based C2C and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". Without preplanned mindshare, magnetic CAE are forced to become visionary. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think intra-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our power to morph. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. Without platforms, you will lack raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing unplanned-for e-businesses?