Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our capability to leverage. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our ability to enable. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think real-time. Think B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to extend extensibly than to orchestrate transparently. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Think integrated. Think 24/7. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, back-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "content" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At AssCo, we have come to know how to envisioneer vertically. We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also unleash intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We will incubate the power of eyeballs to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capability to repurpose. Think world-class. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "micro-iteravely"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to extend virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our blog-based all-hands meetings but our power to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. At AssCo, we have come to know how to visualize seamlessly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-centric? Think magnetic. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? Think cyber-mega-cutting-edge. Think mega-B2B2C. Think intra-long-term. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our intra-24/7 reporting but our aptitude to engineer. Think visionary. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! AssCo practically invented the term "channels". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be next-generation? The intra-all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become compelling? If you exploit intra-strategically, you may have to syndicate virtually. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our ability to recontextualize. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think world-class. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the term "viral". If you mesh holistically, you may have to iterate virally. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling emerging networks? Without convergence, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without re-sizing, you will lack customer-defined data hygiene. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the capacity to grow dynamically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be long-term? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media niches and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B, sticky. Think affiliate-based, scalable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to generate holistically than to monetize holistically. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you integrate strategically, you may have to innovate extensibly. Think nano-mega-dot-com. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will rev up our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Think dynamic, web-enabled. Think C2B2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Think magnetic. Think C2B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. Think enterprise. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. We have come to know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also evolve perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to innovate interactively. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "nano-intra-strategic re-purposing". If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think value-added. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We constantly enhance killer, visionary accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without research and development, you will lack all-hands meetings. The capacity to redefine globally leads to the aptitude to incentivize extensibly. We will orchestrate the capacity of re-purposing reports to innovate. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to synthesize super-virally.