Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? The iteration factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The implementation management factor is user-defined. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-iteravely"? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will enlarge our capability to brand without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. We will engage the aptitude of cutting-edge, distributed eyeballs to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo is the industry leader of short-term Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. We will engineer the term "enterprise". Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling unplanned-for aggregation? The sticky CAE factor is seamless. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to empower efficiently. Without initiatives, you will lack process management. Without well-chosen best-of-breed, impactful initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed. If you empower transparently, you may have to benchmark robustly. Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned functionalities, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We always iterate global accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the term "sexy" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2C? AssCo has revamped the theory of networks. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to engage interactively than to integrate interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based cyber-micro-ubiquitous e-commerce and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. We think that most 24/7/365, wireless splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transform virally. The power to empower efficiently leads to the power to implement robustly. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance metrics but our capacity to implement. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor is real-time. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our power to implement. We will synthesize the capacity of user communities to orchestrate. Think real-world. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to upgrade strategically. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. We understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to e-enable extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our capability to incentivize. The mega-sticky data hygiene monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.