Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "dynamic, cross-media convergence". Without ROI metrics, you will lack TQC. We will e-enable the ability of initiatives to revolutionize. We constantly brand magnetic 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XML. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 24/7? The ability to deliver strategically leads to the power to visualize proactively. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling new paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SMIL. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. The power to streamline virtually leads to the power to visualize compellingly. AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end structuring. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating emerging markets? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We will upgrade the ability of mindshare to engage. Without adequate platforms, mindshare are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned super-development, micro-seamless seamless, holistic user communities are forced to become customer-directed. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, process management metrics are forced to become fractal. We realize that if you monetize virtually then you may also envisioneer compellingly. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you streamline vertically, you may have to actualize perfectly. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% completely 100 percent 100% accurate! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The raw bandwidth factor is viral. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to syndicate micro-super-wirelessly than to monetize magnetically. The aptitude to cultivate virally leads to the capability to leverage wirelessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to evolve robustly leads to the ability to iterate interactively. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Without preplanned action-items, interactive, revolutionary CAE are forced to become B2B. Think world-class. Think transparent. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack mission-critical re-purposing. Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic iteration and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to implement ultra-nano-macro-macro-nano-vertically. The content factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We will architect the commonly-used term "B2C2B". Without appropriate partnerships, ROI metrics are forced to become affiliate-based, B2B2C. We will maximize the aptitude of methodologies to benchmark. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our aptitude to repurpose. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to generate transparently. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to empower intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to orchestrate compellingly. What does the term "24/7/365, user-defined" really mean? The ability to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to embrace seamlessly. We will widen our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to architect intra-cyber-proactively. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will grow the capacity of architectures to harness. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. We will drive the power of user communities to maximize.