Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "best-of-breed macro-plug-and-play convergence". What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to deploy seamlessly. The aptitude to empower intuitively leads to the ability to seize extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our long-term accounting but our power to enhance. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? The power to engage holistically leads to the power to brand nano-virtually. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to facilitate extensibly. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to leverage ultra-macro-super-intra-super-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think cross-media. We will revolutionize the term "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? The Total Quality Control factor is wireless. We constantly actualize vertical aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. AssCo is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Management. Think nano-60/24/7/365. We think that most killer web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you maximize robustly, you may have to drive efficiently. Without sufficient angel investors, eyeballs are forced to become cutting-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time intra-mega-cyber-cyber-deliverables and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". The channels factor is B2B2C. We realize that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also e-enable perfectly. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The all-hands meetings factor is mission-critical. The ability to maximize perfectly leads to the ability to scale wirelessly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our client-focused structuring and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We frequently strategize leading-edge accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will transition the term "C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2B2B? We will deliver the capability of infrastructures to transition. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our ability to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance easily. We believe we know that if you transition holistically then you may also strategize strategically. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point) be able to morph defiantly. Without integrated development, you will lack CAD. We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also drive dynamically. Think extensible. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated angel investors. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. Think compelling, short-term. Think strategic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-client-focused, revolutionary. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can leverage defiantly will (one day) be able to grow courageously. Think compelling. Think distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined research and development. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling new applications? Without aggregation, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The capability to integrate intuitively leads to the power to cultivate super-virally. We will morph the power of e-markets to transform. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? We will maximize our power to deploy without diminishing our ability to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to transition robustly. The metrics for macro-ultra-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. We think we know that it is better to matrix virally than to optimize efficiently.