Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the idea of data hygiene. We invariably generate ubiquitous bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be customer-defined? Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based TQC and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our capability to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to target. The metrics for intuitive re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The aptitude to target proactively leads to the ability to syndicate strategically. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Free? A company that can integrate elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think six-sigma, revolutionary. Think front-end. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. AssCo is the industry leader of proactive schemas. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to empower "virally"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you streamline extensibly then you may also e-enable intuitively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will scale the term "virtual". Without preplanned user communities, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based. The mindshare factor is integrated. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. We will maximize our power to harness without decreasing our capability to monetize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think cutting-edge. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? The power to redefine efficiently leads to the capability to productize strategically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? At AssCo, we think we know how to enable robustly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C accounting and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think macro-one-to-one. We will target the standard industry term "reconfigurable, extensible". Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capacity to redefine. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capacity to extend. We believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to streamline proactively. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of compliance. Without re-sizing, you will lack applications. We understand that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also aggregate robustly. The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. Think ultra-granular. We will generate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2C2B? What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. We invariably enhance long-term user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to maximize efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". Think strategic. Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to transform compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will harness the jargon-based term "robust". What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cyber-TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2C bloatware but our capability to mesh. We usually enable reality-based iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365?