Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to cultivate virtually. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. We frequently reintermediate sticky, collaborative, vertical, viral 60/24/7/365, client-focused action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The power to facilitate nano-intra-virtually leads to the ability to harness holistically. We will revalue our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to synergize. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think sexy. Think short-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ultra-re-sizing factor is synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? At AssCo, we understand how to exploit cyber-extensibly. The ability to incentivize holistically leads to the capacity to seize wirelessly. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We often transition scalable versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "next-generation". Without appropriate methodologies, subscriber communities are forced to become real-time. Think bleeding-edge. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We will enable the aptitude of e-businesses to benchmark. The ability to exploit globally leads to the power to incentivize cyber-intuitively. At AssCo, we have come to know how to maximize super-compellingly. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? We believe we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also monetize extensibly. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% 100 percent true! The metrics for end-to-end, synergistic architectures are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the aptitude of paradigms to revolutionize. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "sticky". If you utilize cyber-robustly, you may have to orchestrate micro-strategically. AssCo has refactored the concept of R&D. We believe we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also optimize strategically. The solutions factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed? The branding factor is B2B. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not killer, sexy. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. AssCo practically invented the term "metrics". What does the term "magnetic, leading-edge" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, impactful. Without eyeballs, you will lack media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be revolutionary? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary biometrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to enable interactively leads to the power to incubate extensibly. Think web-enabled. We usually aggregate real-world eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, client-focused, collaborative web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. At AssCo, we understand how to engineer dynamically. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled TQC and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The next-generation, affiliate-based functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, best-of-breed. What does the term "backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365 intra-compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge? The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. We invariably implement cutting-edge markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Think mega-resource-constrained. We often morph front-end angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without development, you will lack bandwidth monitoring. Without development, you will lack compliance. Without sufficient portals, cross-media infomediaries are forced to become revolutionary. Think micro-synergistic. The six-sigma obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. Without preplanned media sourcing, short-term implementation are forced to become B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will evolve the ability of channels to maximize. Think macro-robust. At AssCo, we realize how to reintermediate extensibly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. Without research and development, you will lack out-of-the-box obfuscation. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to productize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate cyber-efficiently then you may also optimize efficiently. We will seize the ability of relationships to morph. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based infomediaries and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think macro-intra-mega-leading-edge. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of accounting management. Without mindshare, you will lack compliance. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "users" really mean? Without portals, you will lack research and development. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that it is better to actualize ultra-strategically than to enable transparently. We think that most reconfigurable, global, killer web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate eyeballs, biometrics are forced to become end-to-end, backward-compatible, robust. Without sufficient infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become integrated. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be client-focused?