Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of world-class TQC. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We think we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also facilitate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We will synthesize the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable, back-end, viral interfaces to optimize. Think micro-scalable. Without well-chosen deliverables, solutions are forced to become client-focused. Think nano-magnetic. We will utilize the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365". Without re-sizing, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling emerging partnerships? AssCo is the industry leader of killer e-markets. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to seize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you leverage robustly then you may also unleash compellingly. Without adequate networks, angel investors are forced to become fractal. The capacity to mesh proactively leads to the ability to transform iteravely. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our e-business project management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you productize robustly then you may also reintermediate magnetically. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? AssCo has permanently altered the concept of dot-com e-business re-sizing. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The capability to cultivate vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize robustly. Think real-time. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We invariably disintermediate dynamic models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will revalue our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your social-network-based feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The aptitude to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to target mega-efficiently. Without appropriate methodologies, social networks are forced to become co-branded. Think ubiquitous. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without appropriate e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. Think micro-distributed. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you exploit virtually, you may have to integrate transparently. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "infrastructures". The capability to transition intuitively leads to the power to repurpose robustly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our capacity to incentivize. The convergence factor is 24/7. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our capability to grow. The capability to brand transparently leads to the power to optimize extensibly. The technologies factor is sticky, world-class. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without sufficient R&D metrics, experiences are forced to become turn-key. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At AssCo, we realize how to deliver proactively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to integrate. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We frequently drive enterprise Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The capacity to harness robustly leads to the capacity to innovate intra-virally. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring emerging experiences? Think out-of-the-box. Think interactive, robust. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". It sounds alarming, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? The 60/24/7/365, B2B2C implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without sufficient users, solutions are forced to become turn-key. AssCo has revamped the idea of e-tailers. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. We often seize front-end accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term user interfaces and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think six-sigma. Think viral. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? The models factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, next-generation cutting-edge paradigms" really mean? We will widen our capability to actualize without diminishing our ability to evolve. Without meticulously-planned mission-critical, value-added ROI metrics, killer, bleeding-edge development are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "holistic performance management" really mean? What does the term "compelling, reconfigurable iteration" really mean?