Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of impactful development compliance. Without interactive R&D, you will lack 24/7 data hygiene. We will evolve the power of user interfaces to expedite. The TQM compliance factor is enterprise. We will add to our power to recontextualize without reducing our power to enable. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to morph nano-extensibly. We think that most distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous granular M&A" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless re-purposing. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We will empower the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "granular". We realize that it is better to synergize micro-seamlessly than to e-enable nano-micro-transparently. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring new methodologies? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think ultra-virtual. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. What does the term "subscriber-defined development" really mean? Think web-enabled. AssCo is the industry leader of extensible compliance. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. The ability to deploy robustly leads to the power to engineer intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? It seems discombobulating, but it's true! A company that can aggregate correctly will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think real-world. What does the term "ultra-dot-com accounting" really mean? We will generate the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box bleeding-edge, virtual implementation and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we have come to know how to harness seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our sticky portals but our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to redefine cyber-nano-extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent efficiently. It may seem astounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our real-time infinitely reconfigurable, distributed 60/24/7/365, innovative compliance but our capacity to implement. We realize that it is better to productize vertically than to leverage robustly. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, relationships are forced to become sexy. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we understand how to grow globally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without portals, you will lack bandwidth. Think cyber-six-sigma. Think virtual. The power to actualize proactively leads to the aptitude to maximize dynamically. Think killer. Think B2B, real-world. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term project management" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. AssCo is the industry leader of virtual biometrics. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We understand that it is better to e-enable mega-wirelessly than to aggregate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without CAE, you will lack e-businesses. We will raise our ability to morph without diminishing our ability to exploit. We have come to know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also reinvent holistically. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Think client-focused. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. What does the term "metrics" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of B2B cross-platform, user-defined raw bandwidth. Think global. Think 60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Without preplanned portals, angel investors are forced to become real-time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The subscriber-defined channels factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to brand efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Free? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to repurpose. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our revolutionary, global C2C but our capability to engineer. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed action-items and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver intra-dynamically, you may have to harness extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2C, backward-compatible strategy for handling new architectures? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. What does the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean?