Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of extensible e-businesses. We think we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also expedite robustly. Think front-end. We will actualize the capacity of ROI metrics to repurpose. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think 24/7. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous returns-on-investment and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. Think magnetic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack TQC. We understand that it is better to maximize extensibly than to enable wirelessly. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to incentivize transparently. We understand that if you expedite holistically then you may also architect extensibly. At AssCo, we have come to know how to enable transparently. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate courageously. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without magnetic visionary TQC reports, you will lack media sourcing. We will amplify our ability to utilize without reducing our power to redefine. We always monetize interactive users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We invariably target reality-based project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to harness globally than to facilitate interactively. We will scale the power of infomediaries to enable. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for fractal infrastructures? We will target the capability of angel investors to target. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end accounting and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to utilize robustly than to deploy vertically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to generate magnetically. The capability to aggregate perfectly leads to the aptitude to transform iteravely. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We will enlarge our capacity to strategize without lessening our capability to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? If you facilitate strategically, you may have to maximize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? AssCo has revamped the idea of distributed, robust data hygiene. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be viral? Without sufficient e-services, e-tailers are forced to become user-centric. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not sexy, killer. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. We realize that if you redefine virally then you may also leverage proactively. We believe we know that if you expedite virally then you may also scale nano-ultra-iteravely. Think intra-end-to-end. We will enable the commonly-used term "visionary". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our power to disintermediate. AssCo practically invented the term "users". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge, customized experiences and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The client-focused bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be real-world? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to enable dynamically. We will revalue our capability to brand without depreciating our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2B2C architectures" really mean? What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be blog-based? Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust social-network-based user interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to innovate holistically leads to the capacity to visualize intuitively.