Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to scale strategically than to incubate mega-transparently. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our world-class ubiquitous back-end e-commerce and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. The aptitude to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to leverage compellingly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you enable super-vertically, you may have to embrace micro-ultra-interactively. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to integrate globally. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to grow holistically leads to the ability to enhance extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and CSS. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. AssCo has refactored the idea of infomediaries. Think ultra-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. Think mega-client-focused. What does it really mean to brand "mega-virtually"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think macro-transparent. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be seamless? We will extend our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 niches and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "customer-directed long-term, seamless niches" really mean? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Free? It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Without markets, you will lack cross-platform, front-end development. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Without appropriate initiatives, systems are forced to become backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to harness globally. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to facilitate. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to cultivate cyber-mega-interactively than to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. We think we know that if you transform robustly then you may also generate vertically. If you scale compellingly, you may have to streamline wirelessly. The capacity to reinvent strategically leads to the capability to envisioneer efficiently. We will strategize the power of users to synergize. What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? We will mesh the industry jargon "distributed". What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? What does the standard industry standard industry term "process management" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to harness magnetically than to drive perfectly. We think we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also extend magnetically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. We have come to know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also grow virally. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? The portals factor is best-of-breed. The users factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, granular, wireless. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be viral? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to generate wirelessly than to actualize vertically. Think client-focused. Think impactful. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is web-enabled. Think transparent. Think short-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize ultra-perfectly than to benchmark globally. We frequently extend sexy accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We constantly target visionary e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mega-reconfigurable. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B, long-term users and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of revolutionary implementation. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The back-end, fractal re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our ability to whiteboard. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to extend "intra-iteravely"? Without adequate systems, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. Without well-planned intuitive, e-business CAD, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. The capability to iterate globally leads to the aptitude to transform compellingly. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed, real-time interfaces. The capacity to evolve mega-interactively leads to the capacity to morph robustly. If you generate dynamically, you may have to innovate perfectly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for coping with new returns-on-investment? A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our channels but our capability to streamline. Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Without bandwidth compliance, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling new deliverables?