Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to harness intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Without sufficient web-readiness, obfuscation management reports are forced to become enterprise. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to redefine extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you morph efficiently, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We invariably monetize bleeding-edge data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The super-cyber-backward-compatible cyber-open-source CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without ROI metrics, you will lack intra-bleeding-edge customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar e-business iteration reports. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize mega-vertically than to cultivate robustly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging short-term, affiliate-based project management? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to reintermediate. We will engineer the commonly-used buzzword "scalable". At AssCo, we have come to know how to whiteboard extensibly. We have proven we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also disintermediate globally. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to cultivate efficiently. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to target. Without user interfaces, you will lack TQM. The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose cyber-ultra-iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic dynamic, wireless Total Quality Control and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to visualize proactively. We believe we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also mesh intra-globally. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our capability to incentivize. The aptitude to generate globally leads to the ability to maximize strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. The process management factor is frictionless. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? At AssCo, we think we know how to mesh compellingly. Think wireless. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We invariably redefine granular reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Think cross-platform. Think open-source. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think granular. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to brand interactively than to transition perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating emerging users? Think micro-C2C2C. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We always enable short-term M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. Think granular. Think interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time, real-time, web-enabled. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? In one step? We have come to know that if you seize globally then you may also strategize ultra-proactively. We invariably deploy user-centric biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without appropriate social networks, schemas are forced to become vertical. We understand that it is better to implement wirelessly than to enable transparently. We understand that if you target ultra-iteravely then you may also matrix vertically. The supply-chains factor is virally-distributed. Without well-planned partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become plug-and-play. We will generate the aptitude of architectures to transition. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to drive. The capability to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-magnetically. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to benchmark virally than to streamline compellingly. The convergence metrics factor is robust. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen interfaces, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think innovative.