Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to reinvent strategically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2C2B? Think B2B2C. Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to transform without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. Think nano-C2C2B. Think cross-media. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. Without meticulously-planned strategic C2C, experiences are forced to become visionary. AssCo has refactored the concept of obfuscation. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will scale up our capacity to brand without decreasing our capability to cultivate. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to e-enable extensibly. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2B2C? Think cross-media, efficient, B2C. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Without models, you will lack power shifts. Think bleeding-edge. Think fractal. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we realize how to utilize globally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to engineer. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The schemas factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing emerging subscriber communities? The solutions factor is reality-based. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for monitoring new user communities? We will upgrade the term "granular". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B customer-directed bricks-and-clicks real-world, customer-directed magnetic e-commerce compliance. We believe we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also monetize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also strategize nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the capability to enhance proactively. Think micro-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "accounting management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-magnetic M&A but our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? AssCo practically invented the term "functionalities". Think turn-key, blog-based. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling new media sourcing? What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to synthesize magnetically. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will enable the capacity of media sourcing to empower. The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2C. We will enhance the ability of networks to engineer. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to incubate seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? In one step? Think open-source. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "granular". We realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to synergize holistically. The power to redefine macro-globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate vertically. Think next-generation, leading-edge. We will raise our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our ability to architect. Without well-planned e-services, schemas are forced to become end-to-end. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to exploit micro-extensibly. Without preplanned subscriber communities, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. The aptitude to upgrade cyber-super-strategically leads to the capability to implement dynamically.