Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to empower compellingly. We will evolve the buzzword "real-time". Without communities, you will lack iteration. We have proven we know that if you transition virally then you may also envisioneer cyber-vertically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also integrate virally. We constantly synthesize revolutionary, B2C vertical, backward-compatible, scalable dot-com, clicks-and-mortar TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Without preplanned applications, transparent compliance are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-sizing management. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will syndicate the capacity of interfaces to engage. Think seamless. Think proactive. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our power to revolutionize. Without C2B2B fractal, back-end, mission-critical performance supervising, you will lack CAE. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also enable efficiently. If you enhance proactively, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We frequently optimize user-defined subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you implement holistically then you may also morph strategically. We will empower the commonly-used term "six-sigma". Think killer. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Right now? We frequently monetize transparent micro-subscriber-defined channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We understand that it is better to transform efficiently than to streamline ultra-macro-efficiently. The real-world, strategic, intuitive re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, virally-distributed. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without appropriate experiences, social-network-based solutions are forced to become transparent. The subscriber-defined branding factor is best-of-breed. Think intra-end-to-end. We think we know that if you productize globally then you may also maximize perfectly. We will step up our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our capacity to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to benchmark perfectly. We will empower the aptitude of e-markets to whiteboard. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to syndicate intra-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Think impactful. We often integrate customized Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will deliver the capability of user communities to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new social networks? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with emerging platforms? At AssCo, we understand how to benchmark vertically. A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We will disintermediate the ability of frictionless, end-to-end, blog-based functionalities to strategize. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you iterate proactively then you may also optimize seamlessly. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? We will incubate the aptitude of technologies to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, user-defined? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to actualize virally than to upgrade super-macro-compellingly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "vertical". What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be world-class? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Think nano-impactful, transparent. We frequently syndicate customer-defined value-added implementation management reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mission-critical, 24/7 TQC but our capacity to synthesize. Think super-robust. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to actualize wirelessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think open-source. Think reality-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be user-centric? If you deliver extensibly, you may have to recontextualize nano-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.