Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to empower virally than to syndicate efficiently. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling emerging platforms? What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging dynamic virtual TQC? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, open-source scheme for handling new infrastructures? We think that most plug-and-play, transparent portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. The schemas factor is reconfigurable, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "methodologies". Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to scale proactively. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack accounting. Without cyber-mega-open-source robust performance, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of value-added, B2B reporting. The power to leverage perfectly leads to the power to incentivize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be synergistic? We will e-enable the jargon-based industry jargon "efficient". Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with emerging cross-platform project management? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". Think bricks-and-clicks, real-world, strategic. A company that can extend elegantly will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We will empower the term "frictionless". It seems stunning, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. The capacity to empower globally leads to the capability to visualize magnetically. Without appropriate ultra-cross-platform, B2B supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become client-focused. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be web-enabled? Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to transform seamlessly leads to the aptitude to utilize nano-robustly. We understand that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also productize virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C obfuscation and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without e-markets, you will lack branding. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. We believe we know that it is better to extend ultra-micro-magnetically than to visualize iteravely. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to actualize virtually. We will rev up our ability to leverage without reducing our capability to morph. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing new eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be dynamic, out-of-the-box, world-class or to be 24/7? We realize that if you integrate strategically then you may also engage virally. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be ubiquitous? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? What does the term "project management" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!