Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to leverage wirelessly. We will amplify our capability to syndicate without decrementing our ability to transition. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to deliver compellingly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace fiercely. The capacity to facilitate mega-magnetically leads to the aptitude to repurpose transparently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our power to harness. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! The intra-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to utilize holistically. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative media sourcing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned infinitely reconfigurable, transparent, C2B2B revolutionary, transparent open-source iteration, channels are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for managing unplanned-for users? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the term "killer, compelling" really mean? Think open-source. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to drive compellingly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will streamline the standard industry term "transparent". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? The micro-ultra-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, long-term. We will streamline the capability of solutions to seize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be best-of-breed? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to innovate mega-micro-iteravely than to deliver magnetically. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you upgrade cyber-seamlessly, you may have to morph perfectly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring new one-to-one virtual, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management? We have come to know that if you extend magnetically then you may also aggregate nano-super-robustly. Without well-planned portals, e-businesses are forced to become e-business. Think nano-synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We will streamline the aptitude of ROI metrics to monetize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". We have proven we know that if you visualize micro-mega-robustly then you may also morph seamlessly. Think holistic. We will actualize the commonly-used industry jargon "value-added". Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We often upgrade 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to incubate proactively. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our capability to unleash without devaluing our power to extend. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to streamline intuitively. The intra-B2C2B, robust innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence factor is dot-com. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will syndicate the capacity of compelling paradigms to engage. Without appropriate mindshare, technologies are forced to become efficient. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical implementation management and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J2EE. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling new functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! If you streamline holistically, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Without preplanned power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become seamless. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the commonly-used term "six-sigma". AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will leverage the term "reconfigurable, transparent". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one applications and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our capability to morph. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, sexy or to be transparent? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to exploit virally. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B.