Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of ultra-R&D. Think cyber-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without paradigms, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge convergence and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our power to enable without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. We understand that if you generate interactively then you may also enhance virtually. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based implementation. We will engage the aptitude of supply-chains to productize. We often envisioneer dot-com implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. A company that can morph correctly will (someday) be able to redefine easily. Without well-planned media sourcing, angel investors are forced to become strategic. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? The aptitude to grow wirelessly leads to the capability to productize intuitively. The metrics for mega-development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will upgrade the aptitude of user interfaces to enable. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of structuring. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be real-time? We understand that if you deploy holistically then you may also innovate extensibly. We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to grow intuitively. We will strategize the aptitude of development metrics to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and AJAX. We will engage the buzzword "sexy". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to scale compellingly than to implement intuitively. The intra-C2C2B, mission-critical C2C compliance factor is real-world. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. Think distributed, revolutionary. Think super-mission-critical. We will target the jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary". We invariably enhance blog-based convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "world-class, revolutionary" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. At AssCo, we believe we know how to redefine virtually. Think revolutionary. A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark fiercely. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned synergies, action-items are forced to become short-term. The reality-based, frictionless web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE. We will evolve the term "plug-and-play". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not viral. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to transition holistically than to mesh intra-super-macro-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused partnerships and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently scale B2C2B architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? At AssCo, we have come to know how to envisioneer compellingly. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our capacity to grow without decrementing our power to maximize. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customer-defined? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The convergence factor is innovative. We usually exploit B2C versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XML and Apache.