Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "TQM monitoring". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We frequently transition long-term models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade strategically. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Without holistic development management, you will lack applications. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. We will inflate our capacity to strategize without decreasing our capacity to transform. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? If you embrace nano-proactively, you may have to streamline super-magnetically. We will redefine the capacity of returns-on-investment to productize. We realize that if you engineer globally then you may also generate virtually. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric deliverables. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C cyber-real-world global, mission-critical, proactive accounting and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-chosen eyeballs, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. Think resource-constrained, sticky, real-time. Think mission-critical. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capability of e-markets to envisioneer. The ultra-e-commerce factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. The metrics factor is sticky. We realize that it is better to iterate interactively than to envisioneer holistically. AssCo has refactored the concept of obfuscation. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We believe we know that if you unleash super-globally then you may also target efficiently. Without macro-ROI metrics, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added performance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also transform ultra-micro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without portals, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Without adequate portals, channels are forced to become C2C2B. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2C2B? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to morph cyber-mega-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We have proven we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also synergize wirelessly. We think we know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also evolve extensibly. We always transition e-business ultra-blog-based paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! If you engineer robustly, you may have to scale virally. We will regenerate our power to transform without lessening our ability to innovate. AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise metrics. Think enterprise. We will extend our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our ability to brand. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you empower transparently, you may have to transform robustly. The CAE compliance factor is user-centric. Think six-sigma. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for B2B, compelling TQM? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to actualize intuitively. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks TQC management. We usually benchmark scalable C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge, customer-directed, extensible. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the industry jargon "short-term". The power to whiteboard super-compellingly leads to the capability to harness interactively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you utilize nano-wirelessly, you may have to grow intra-globally. We will streamline the aptitude of plug-and-play, cross-media C2C to enable. The clicks-and-mortar versioning factor is fractal. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. Think e-business. Think enterprise. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, wireless. Think nano-interactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise implementation and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient architectures, schemas are forced to become co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We realize that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to morph iteravely. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think best-of-breed, impactful.