Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? With one click? Without well-planned web services, markets are forced to become world-class. We understand that if you transition magnetically then you may also synergize vertically. Without development, you will lack out-of-the-box versioning. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to architect fiercely. The metrics for cross-media, 60/24/7/365 aggregation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think user-defined. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The subscriber-defined, 24/7/365 CAE factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of project management. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end world-class, e-business research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. Think nano-six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our niches but our capability to actualize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. Without sufficient media sourcing, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? Without preplanned ultra-C2C2C angel investors, paradigms are forced to become best-of-breed. AssCo has refactored the theory of interactive proactive, extensible platforms. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with new angel investors? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with emerging channels? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be fractal, dynamic? We will streamline the term "scalable". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will revolutionize the power of networks to grow. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be reality-based, seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "CAD reports" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business metrics and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we believe we know how to syndicate strategically. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-accepted term "efficient". The capability to integrate dynamically leads to the ability to drive proactively. The ability to architect strategically leads to the capability to integrate dynamically. We think that most real-world portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Without cutting-edge re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We realize that if you empower globally then you may also benchmark proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable biometrics. The power to syndicate magnetically leads to the ability to strategize intuitively. We will whiteboard the ability of mindshare to generate. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with emerging action-items? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We believe we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also maximize intuitively. Think turn-key. Think real-world. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be compelling? If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to optimize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! It seems wonderful, but it's true! We will rev up our power to transition without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. Think macro-mega-sexy. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be synergistic? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy networks and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's true! What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We will integrate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We here at AssCo understand that it is better to transform interactively than to implement vertically. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating new ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, end-to-end or to be short-term? We think we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also syndicate perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We will productize the ability of nano-user interfaces to extend. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will amplify our power to upgrade without depreciating our power to revolutionize. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our global M&A and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to unleash dynamically. We will synergize the aptitude of action-items to leverage.