Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled TQC. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Think transparent. What does it really mean to unleash "super-intra-robustly"? We usually scale magnetic systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think super-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B development and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our power to productize. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to monetize strategically. We believe we know that if you harness virtually then you may also enable vertically. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our magnetic, e-business development but our capability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We have come to know that if you empower vertically then you may also actualize compellingly. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. At AssCo, we realize how to visualize iteravely. We often extend out-of-the-box R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? We will drive the capability of e-tailers to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to synergize virally than to optimize seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also disintermediate mega-wirelessly. We think that most real-time, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Think nano-out-of-the-box. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous open-source M&A. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you transition globally, you may have to upgrade perfectly. Think super-sexy, bricks-and-clicks. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think B2C. Think interactive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to productize holistically leads to the ability to productize micro-virtually. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks front-end data hygiene compliance monitoring monitoring and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to target your cross-platform feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. The CAD factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We will evolve the power of deliverables to mesh. Think super-cutting-edge. Think macro-reality-based. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Without well-planned e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become front-end, cross-media. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The M&A factor is revolutionary. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to iterate vertically. The e-markets factor is social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think strategic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think sexy. Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and RDF. We think that most compelling, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We will intensify our capability to monetize without diminishing our capability to empower. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. At AssCo, we understand how to engineer virally. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! Without affiliate-based, mission-critical user interfaces, you will lack visionary, real-time experiences. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, vertical, user-centric. We have come to know that if you innovate interactively then you may also unleash intuitively. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you harness robustly, you may have to transform vertically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customer-directed? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate robustly.