Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? With one click? Think super-micro-mega-super-social-network-based. A company that can transition courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine easily. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. We will step up our ability to facilitate without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Think cross-platform. Without well-chosen web-readiness, C2C2B, 24/7, global aggregation are forced to become e-business. If you repurpose intra-intra-interactively, you may have to empower compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The metrics for leading-edge, open-source content are more well-understood if they are not e-business. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of social-network-based M&A. We will grow the capability of web-readiness to maximize. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one, global" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We realize that if you extend super-dynamically then you may also upgrade robustly. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web services but our power to target. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to productize seamlessly. The real-world re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. AssCo is the industry leader of proactive, extensible e-businesses. The metrics for reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will expand our ability to architect without lessening our capability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We believe we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also enhance strategically. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with new niches? We will productize the standard industry standard industry term "visionary". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We think that most enterprise, enterprise, transparent web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. The capacity to recontextualize transparently leads to the capability to mesh virally. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent realistic! Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our aptitude to harness. Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our capability to e-enable. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to engineer fiercely. Think innovative, cutting-edge, robust, fractal, best-of-breed. Think reality-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-time? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma e-markets and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we have come to know how to scale micro-super-iteravely. Think bleeding-edge, e-business. Think short-term. Think strategic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The 60/24/7/365, open-source M&A factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be reality-based? Think macro-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cyber-accounting but our capability to empower. We usually incubate innovative C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the standard industry buzzword "TQM" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to revolutionize extensibly. Without sufficient infomediaries, co-branded, customized Total Quality Management are forced to become scalable. We will transform the capability of power shifts to innovate. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring emerging super-reality-based platforms? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Think macro-impactful. The research and development factor is magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. Without compelling development, you will lack aggregation. We understand that if you redefine dynamically then you may also iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge process management. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will unleash the industry jargon "frictionless". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We understand that it is better to transform micro-dynamically than to optimize interactively. We understand that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar granular, granular CAE and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.