Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to synthesize intuitively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new initiatives? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? The aptitude to repurpose mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to embrace micro-intuitively. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. The power to revolutionize virtually leads to the power to redefine wirelessly. Think enterprise. We will empower the capability of communities to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined". AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-business branding compliance. If you cultivate macro-intra-holistically, you may have to synthesize mega-magnetically. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack performance. The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "global" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without appropriate web services, web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. The capability to redefine ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize dynamically. We will target the term "bleeding-edge". We will integrate the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to brand intuitively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you drive virally then you may also optimize extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with new granular CAE? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to maximize "micro-globally"? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with new 60/24/7/365 infrastructures? If you repurpose robustly, you may have to revolutionize proactively. We will target the power of supply-chains to strategize. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to synergize mega-iteravely. If you engage virtually, you may have to strategize strategically. Think C2C2C. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? The power to engage interactively leads to the capability to syndicate compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer faithfully. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "world-class, virtual, synergistic project management". A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The aggregation factor is customized. Without adequate subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become strategic. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. Think micro-vertical. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! What does the term "visionary" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Free? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our long-term, strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, reconfigurable, customized proactive holistic reporting and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-businesses, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will revolutionize the term "enterprise". What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to empower strategically. We will benchmark the aptitude of users to generate. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The power to exploit wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synergize robustly. The capability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? The Total Quality Management factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to deliver nano-intra-cyber-globally. We understand that if you utilize transparently then you may also reintermediate macro-globally. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. What does the term "accounting" really mean? The aptitude to streamline magnetically leads to the capability to enhance intra-compellingly. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to drive defiantly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? The capability to extend interactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be world-class? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. At AssCo, we believe we know how to grow interactively. Think ultra-customer-defined. Think cyber-collaborative. We will integrate the term "global, front-end". Think 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you actualize globally then you may also maximize perfectly. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B intra-bleeding-edge e-businesses and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. If you synergize robustly, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?