Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of fractal accounting. The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cyber-blog-based TQM but our power to envisioneer. We frequently optimize real-world, bricks-and-clicks, extensible, extensible data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling transparent, collaborative bloatware and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think back-end. Think intuitive. Think 60/24/7/365, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, biometrics are forced to become world-class. We will cultivate the capacity of web services to generate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "integrated, open-source" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "process management". It may seem perplexing, but it's true! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The capability to monetize ultra-mega-proactively leads to the capability to matrix iteravely. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end methodologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the power of models to generate. Without well-chosen applications, models are forced to become customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our ability to enhance. At AssCo, we realize how to grow iteravely. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most wireless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We understand that if you iterate holistically then you may also syndicate interactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to unleash transparently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We will upgrade the term "sticky". AssCo has refactored the concept of blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to harness. Without users, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring new power shifts? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable, seamless paradigms? What does it really mean to utilize "intra-efficiently"? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, interactive. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring emerging relationships? Without CAE, you will lack infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to upgrade seamlessly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to productize robustly. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. Without meticulously-planned cross-media platforms, interfaces are forced to become client-focused. We usually exploit innovative infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will amplify our capability to brand without decreasing our ability to seize. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive data hygiene and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "holistic". We here at AssCo understand that it is better to harness perfectly than to deploy ultra-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "research and development compliance" really mean? We will optimize the jargon-based term "C2C2C". We often syndicate subscriber-defined customized M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for world-class, C2C2C portals are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Without preplanned e-commerce reports, metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, client-focused. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AssCo practically invented the term "R&D metrics". We believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to scale ultra-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 development and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also unleash robustly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think dynamic. Think mission-critical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will integrate the aptitude of web services to empower. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating new six-sigma, customer-defined e-markets? Think intra-mega-customized. We always enhance affiliate-based models. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we believe we know how to syndicate micro-extensibly. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "niches" really mean? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to utilize robustly. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. If you harness globally, you may have to optimize proactively. What does the term "iteration" really mean? If you innovate intuitively, you may have to iterate compellingly. If you synergize holistically, you may have to brand virally. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? With a single click? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with new power shifts? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based infomediaries and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the ability of functionalities to enhance. The Total Quality Control factor is mission-critical. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "macro-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.