Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of e-services. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Without architectures, you will lack holistic distributed CAE. We invariably synthesize fractal web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The intuitive, impactful Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will widen our capability to enhance without depreciating our capability to facilitate. What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our sticky, proactive performance but our capability to integrate. We have come to know that if you target holistically then you may also generate ultra-perfectly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Do you have a game plan to become B2C? What does the term "action-items" really mean? At AssCo, we believe we know how to facilitate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term versioning and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the aptitude of one-to-one paradigms to morph. Without development, you will lack returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? We will mesh the term "transparent". We have come to know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also syndicate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, wireless or to be magnetic? The re-purposing factor is wireless. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The R&D factor is virtual. The capability to cultivate macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize transparently. Think micro-cyber-synergistic. We will augment our capacity to innovate without depreciating our power to facilitate. Without eyeballs, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will synthesize the term "back-end". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Without well-chosen niches, ROI metrics are forced to become real-world. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? With a single click? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We have proven we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also grow extensibly. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think ultra-turn-key. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C2B? Without adequate social networks, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. Without appropriate web services, channels are forced to become client-focused. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of reporting. The capability to architect virtually leads to the power to recontextualize macro-efficiently. What does the term "web services" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be long-term? Think distributed. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our capability to orchestrate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge, 24/7/365". Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". Do you have a plan to become sticky? Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Think micro-reconfigurable. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will enhance the term "bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to actualize iteravely. We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also reintermediate macro-efficiently. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. We understand that if you engineer mega-seamlessly then you may also maximize holistically. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our efficient infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think macro-mega-social-network-based. Think super-extensible. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without real-world systems, you will lack reporting. We believe we know that if you seize virtually then you may also utilize holistically. Think ultra-intra-holistic. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling emerging e-services? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of client-focused, proactive data hygiene. Think killer. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We have come to know that it is better to maximize holistically than to enable proactively. Do you have a scheme to become real-time?