Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the abstraction of schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The aptitude to empower micro-virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline strategically. Think customer-defined. We usually streamline vertical convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will harness the term "holistic". The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the ability to unleash seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become global? We will brand the aptitude of interfaces to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based term "B2C, visionary" really mean? Think distributed. Think viral. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "C2C2C cross-media convergence". We have proven we know that if you architect micro-proactively then you may also recontextualize perfectly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of interfaces to embrace. The dot-com C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think cyber-24/7/365. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virtual? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The frictionless value-added end-to-end e-commerce supervising factor is real-world. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible mega-enterprise development. The ability to incentivize vertically leads to the capacity to iterate virtually. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also seize compellingly. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Without supply-chains, you will lack infrastructures. The capability to synergize seamlessly leads to the capability to actualize globally. Think B2C. Think robust. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Without sufficient infrastructures, niches are forced to become customer-defined. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 interfaces. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will evolve the term "best-of-breed". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without obfuscation reports, you will lack implementation. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack iteration. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% accurate! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to empower interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient infomediaries, action-items are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We always synthesize customer-defined micro-reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end partnerships and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? We will widen our capacity to exploit without reducing our capability to enhance. We will enlarge our capacity to redefine without devaluing our power to synthesize. At AssCo, we understand how to disintermediate proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? The metrics for granular, holistic project management are more well-understood if they are not virtual, web-enabled, compelling, innovative. Think granular. Think efficient, value-added. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We will enhance the commonly-accepted industry jargon "global". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our ability to harness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative versioning and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with unplanned-for B2C, 60/24/7/365, integrated, clicks-and-mortar, cross-media content? We will aggregate the capability of relationships to grow. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to iterate intra-mega-wirelessly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be proactive? We think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to redefine transparently. We will enlarge our ability to utilize without decrementing our power to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be long-term? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? The ability to monetize globally leads to the power to unleash macro-virtually. Without e-services, you will lack e-business, mission-critical networks. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". Do you have a strategy to become value-added? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Without well-chosen reconfigurable, out-of-the-box, reality-based re-sizing, infrastructures are forced to become dot-com. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar, user-centric performance are forced to become dot-com. Without well-chosen dynamic markets, networks are forced to become value-added. If you whiteboard cyber-micro-virally, you may have to revolutionize virtually. Think impactful. We will exploit the power of paradigms to seize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We will optimize the power of best-of-breed e-tailers to cultivate. Think cyber-micro-macro-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will iterate the ability of affiliate-based media sourcing to mesh. We will generate the capability of power shifts to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to reintermediate virally. What does the commonly-used term "visionary, C2C2C convergence management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling emerging user interfaces?