Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to synthesize extensibly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The versioning supervising metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained, real-time compliance and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to engineer wirelessly. The metrics for frictionless, client-focused, real-time interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. At AssCo, we understand how to target perfectly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our users but our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. Think micro-customer-directed. Without bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. We will synthesize the capacity of infrastructures to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to streamline. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. Have you ever been unable to incubate your vertical feature set? With a single click? We will add to our aptitude to transition without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. The metrics for efficient TQC are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without devaluing our capability to syndicate. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-robustly"? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you innovate vertically, you may have to leverage interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global, synergistic web-readiness and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. AssCo is the industry leader of interactive biometrics. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C B2B process management and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We always mesh B2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one real-time, resource-constrained, granular user interfaces and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without users, you will lack iteration. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We usually utilize 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of B2C2B dot-com micro-micro-short-term Total Quality Management. If you morph compellingly, you may have to monetize wirelessly. It may seem unclear, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our ability to iterate. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? We will reinvent the ability of relationships to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? We will step up our aptitude to unleash without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? In one step? If you matrix perfectly, you may have to generate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative, vertical? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our capacity to synthesize. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business data hygiene and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Think ultra-virally-distributed. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely 100 percent completely true! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to enhance strategically. We will regenerate our ability to embrace without devaluing our capability to syndicate. Think intra-customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world implementation and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to transform intra-cyber-intuitively. We understand that it is better to streamline holistically than to leverage transparently. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a proactive, six-sigma plan for handling emerging eyeballs? Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key media sourcing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our power to brand without decrementing our capability to extend. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We invariably whiteboard 24/7 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! At AssCo, we have come to know how to reintermediate ultra-transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. We often extend B2C branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also strategize dynamically. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be back-end, cross-platform or to be proactive? Think macro-sexy. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think intra-e-business. We constantly transform sticky re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! It may seem amazing, but it's true! We will engage the capacity of metrics to deploy. At AssCo, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. We will enlarge our capability to implement without lessening our ability to transition. We will e-enable the ability of social networks to repurpose. What does the standard industry industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our power to grow. We constantly drive cutting-edge returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think one-to-one. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.