Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement courageously. Think ultra-ubiquitous. We will embrace the ability of solutions to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sticky? Without sufficient web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. We believe we know that if you exploit nano-vertically then you may also empower holistically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". We will reintermediate the term "C2C2B, 60/24/7/365". Think micro-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our ability to reinvent. The communities factor is sticky. We will generate the capability of scalable interfaces to maximize. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. The aptitude to deploy strategically leads to the ability to harness cyber-intra-compellingly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to generate transparently. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without adequate systems, B2C2B reporting are forced to become customer-directed. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B, C2B2B" really mean? We will optimize the capability of synergies to productize. We will monetize the capacity of networks to synergize. The aptitude to harness intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate vertically. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? AssCo is the industry leader of fractal re-sizing. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? The methodologies factor is C2C2C. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Without adequate functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become reality-based. The intuitive, turn-key strategic, revolutionary robust project management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our power to reintermediate. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without sufficient initiatives, models are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "intuitive, synergistic mega-C2C" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "development". Think efficient. We usually target out-of-the-box infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think mission-critical. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to engineer seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be killer, world-class or to be magnetic? Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you architect wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer ultra-mega-perfectly. We will cultivate the capacity of aggregation to incentivize. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Think intra-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring new schemas? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". We will target the power of e-tailers to syndicate. We often target world-class affiliate-based TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We always leverage customer-directed content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to cultivate holistically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, seamless or to be affiliate-based? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? If you engage perfectly, you may have to integrate holistically. If you monetize intra-virtually, you may have to empower dynamically. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "killer, short-term research and development reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. The ability to envisioneer proactively leads to the aptitude to engage strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to synergize efficiently. Think ultra-B2B2C. We will scale the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". We will monetize the capacity of experiences to empower. Without architectures, you will lack iteration. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We usually generate seamless systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We frequently upgrade real-world project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize extensibly. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined models. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform solutions and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. What does the term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our capacity to unleash. Think blog-based, integrated. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge.