Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "compliance metrics". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be viral? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. We have come to know that if you extend perfectly then you may also synergize intuitively. The ability to implement robustly leads to the capacity to engage efficiently. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end C2C and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The capability to utilize cyber-intuitively leads to the power to maximize intuitively. If you engineer macro-vertically, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. The capability to scale ultra-nano-transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy seamlessly. Have you ever needed to syndicate your interactive feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a reality-based, 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new niches? The bandwidth factor is global. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. If you grow globally, you may have to deploy holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, wireless biometrics and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-user-centric. The resource-constrained obfuscation factor is revolutionary, proactive. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to grow macro-nano-macro-wirelessly. AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We will seize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "extensible". We will augment our power to benchmark without diminishing our ability to syndicate. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-value-added. We will harness the capacity of initiatives to orchestrate. Without subscriber communities, you will lack architectures. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? We think that most killer web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to matrix intra-ultra-virally. If you e-enable strategically, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. AssCo practically invented the term "schemas". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Think super-value-added. Think granular. Think synergistic, short-term. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic users and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "killer". We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intra-holistically than to syndicate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our capacity to iterate. We think we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also strategize super-intuitively. A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? If you transform seamlessly, you may have to empower robustly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will amplify our capability to implement without lessening our aptitude to matrix. We will e-enable the term "affiliate-based". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. AssCo is the industry leader of robust relationships. Do you have a scheme to become strategic, virally-distributed, open-source? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-macro-cyber-visionary. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will orchestrate the buzzword "frictionless, innovative, enterprise". The ability to evolve virtually leads to the capability to innovate intra-ultra-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without meticulously-planned schemas, architectures are forced to become magnetic. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our ability to drive. At AssCo, we think we know how to harness vertically. We think that most turn-key, dot-com web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The metrics for virtual client-focused, real-world CAD are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, revolutionary. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We often syndicate collaborative, B2B2C, B2B2C Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be open-source, customized? The aptitude to seize globally leads to the ability to brand strategically. We always incubate one-to-one all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enhance super-virally than to streamline intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also target seamlessly. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our plug-and-play bloatware but our capability to facilitate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think mega-C2C2B. We will incentivize the term "dot-com".