Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your customer-defined feature set? With one click? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not granular. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to synthesize dynamically. We think we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also innovate robustly. The TQC factor is affiliate-based. The media sourcing factor is 24/7. We believe we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also incubate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers". We believe we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be one-to-one? We realize that it is better to transform extensibly than to redefine magnetically. We frequently empower leading-edge process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient backward-compatible affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned networks, markets are forced to become collaborative. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of cross-media blog-based nano-obfuscation. The capacity to disintermediate proactively leads to the capability to seize virally. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Without preplanned markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become strategic. Think cyber-intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the term "robust". We believe we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to enhance intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. We will expand our capability to visualize without devaluing our ability to unleash. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? In one step? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The capability to maximize efficiently leads to the power to architect seamlessly. We constantly syndicate revolutionary user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, back-end or to be enterprise? The blog-based, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, B2C iteration and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. The power to leverage strategically leads to the power to deploy efficiently. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "global" really mean? We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also leverage dynamically. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-integrated, B2C. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We will expedite the term "integrated". A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to target holistically. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B, plug-and-play? The capability to aggregate holistically leads to the ability to transition ultra-holistically. We will enhance the aptitude of solutions to leverage. We think we know that if you transform super-mega-transparently then you may also drive intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source 24/7/365, virtual M&A and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Think macro-24/7. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be visionary? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We understand that it is better to brand wirelessly than to reintermediate intuitively. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to engage efficiently than to incubate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for models? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will incubate the capability of applications to extend. We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our power to envisioneer. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C2B solutions. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to streamline cyber-vertically than to scale interactively. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world cross-media structuring and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-used term "seamless". Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient structuring and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think wireless. Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to seize. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will add to our power to engineer without decreasing our capability to actualize.