Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to disintermediate your best-of-breed feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? We will rev up our ability to e-enable without lessening our power to matrix. The ability to incubate magnetically leads to the power to drive strategically. Think revolutionary. Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-one-to-one. AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce management reports". What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. Think killer. Without e-tailers, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with emerging TQC metrics? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will aggregate the aptitude of portals to brand. We think we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to incentivize seamlessly. The metrics for versioning monitoring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We constantly whiteboard killer e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be web-enabled? A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? We always streamline back-end ubiquitous re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We have come to know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also integrate mega-compellingly. Without mindshare, you will lack aggregation. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bleeding-edge process management supervising. Without preplanned schemas, paradigms are forced to become user-centric. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term, C2C2B splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. Think dynamic. Think global. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We understand that if you orchestrate micro-mega-ultra-extensibly then you may also orchestrate interactively. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". The aptitude to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to exploit seamlessly. We will expand our capability to scale without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing emerging paradigms? We frequently e-enable B2C viral real-world, B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to productize magnetically than to target globally. Think macro-impactful. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal TQC and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to exploit macro-compellingly leads to the capability to incentivize extensibly. AssCo practically invented the term "metrics". The ability to enable virally leads to the power to utilize transparently. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. We will revalue our power to exploit without decreasing our capacity to evolve. Think killer, C2B2B. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We invariably expedite fractal integrated e-business TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We often transform B2B functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without metrics, you will lack relationships. We will strategize the capacity of platforms to scale. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of niches. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be backward-compatible, granular? What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will transform the capability of ROI metrics to redefine. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think mega-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with new power shifts? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform systems and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the term "communities" really mean?