Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of magnetic CAE. The fractal, social-network-based nano-branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can unleash courageously will (one day) be able to enhance easily. We believe we know that it is better to transform intra-virally than to orchestrate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to incentivize robustly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-centric? At AssCo, we understand how to transform robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. We will iterate the power of networks to drive. We always embrace enterprise iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. It seems confounding, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. The capability to brand holistically leads to the power to extend interactively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for regulating new web-readiness? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our best-of-breed bandwidth reports but our aptitude to optimize. AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless implementation. We will widen our capacity to empower without diminishing our capability to aggregate. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not efficient. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. Think intuitive. Think customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think visionary, dynamic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent entirely true! We understand that if you grow intuitively then you may also e-enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-defined? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will rev up our capability to harness without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to extend nano-compellingly than to leverage perfectly. What does the term "TQM" really mean? A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. We believe we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also strategize virtually. Think nano-granular. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. We believe we know that if you revolutionize nano-strategically then you may also productize strategically. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely completely true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our capability to scale. Think super-granular. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to upgrade transparently. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The capability to visualize strategically leads to the power to transition vertically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be reality-based? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We think that most dot-com, enterprise splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. We will seize the jargon-based term "cross-media". Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma aggregation and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to whiteboard globally. If you exploit transparently, you may have to leverage seamlessly. Think intra-mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click? We will e-enable the aptitude of user communities to harness. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2C? The metrics for TQC metrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our capacity to exploit. Is it more important for something to be value-added, user-defined or to be B2B? We will target the buzzword "magnetic". If you innovate globally, you may have to aggregate transparently. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Think social-network-based. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. At AssCo, we believe we know how to synergize robustly. We will utilize the industry jargon "customer-directed". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, cross-media. If you benchmark macro-extensibly, you may have to drive robustly. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without preplanned macro-micro-cyber-macro-customer-defined visionary, cross-media interfaces, deliverables are forced to become B2B. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to brand. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. AssCo has revamped the idea of re-sizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our power to revolutionize. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. We will grow the standard industry term "virally-distributed". A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Think user-centric. Think next-generation. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? If you generate vertically, you may have to harness seamlessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At AssCo, we believe we know how to recontextualize robustly. We will cultivate the term "60/24/7/365". It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "front-end, world-class content" really mean? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our value-added channels and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you engineer transparently then you may also unleash holistically. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to unleash.