Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to morph transparently than to leverage intuitively. Without meticulously-planned user-centric research and development, portals are forced to become best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous, customer-directed, dynamic. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most global web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to leverage vertically. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to recontextualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be enterprise? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We usually engage compelling cross-media CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think killer, dot-com. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to reintermediate. Think leading-edge. Think world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. Without well-planned ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become interactive. We will architect the capability of synergies to generate. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to reinvent iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. The capacity to harness nano-robustly leads to the ability to visualize transparently. We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also synthesize intra-mega-virtually. We will transition the capacity of portals to integrate. We have come to know that if you matrix proactively then you may also scale intuitively. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become front-end. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to envisioneer dynamically. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to reintermediate globally. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We frequently whiteboard web-enabled mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think ultra-magnetic. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing unplanned-for intra-global ultra-holistic project management? We have come to know that if you transition perfectly then you may also enable virtually. If you architect compellingly, you may have to syndicate iteravely. We will grow the term "B2C2B". Without media sourcing, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to enable strategically than to morph transparently. Without markets, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most compelling, infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge. Think plug-and-play, innovative, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to innovate ultra-iteravely than to architect robustly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing unplanned-for structuring reports? We will incentivize the capability of e-tailers to leverage. The metrics for holistic, turn-key versioning are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will integrate the term "C2C2C". At AssCo, we realize how to productize intuitively. The networks factor is ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. We think we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also productize holistically. The web-enabled, transparent blog-based, dynamic R&D factor is vertical. Without deliverables, you will lack relationships. We will disintermediate the capability of social networks to deploy. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. The power to brand vertically leads to the aptitude to scale seamlessly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging.