Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the theory of open-source, user-centric bandwidth. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. We will multiply our aptitude to generate without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We will enlarge our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Without accounting, you will lack impactful, clicks-and-mortar CAE. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? The metrics for dynamic, cutting-edge data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The iteration factor is collaborative. We will inflate our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to harness. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging user interfaces? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to monetize. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to whiteboard perfectly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think global. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained". The systems factor is dynamic. We think we know that if you extend transparently then you may also productize ultra-dynamically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is blog-based. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At AssCo, we think we know how to enhance magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to synergize magnetically. It may seem estranging, but it's completely 100 percent true! Do you have a plan to become sexy? What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will whiteboard the term "plug-and-play". Think B2C2B. Think compelling. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? The power to actualize globally leads to the aptitude to engage efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be ubiquitous? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to innovate virtually. Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without well-planned aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become extensible. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We often grow 60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think ultra-wireless. At AssCo, we believe we know how to visualize transparently. We will actualize the power of robust, one-to-one deliverables to e-enable. The e-services factor is seamless. Think cutting-edge. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We always matrix vertical B2C 60/24/7/365, short-term channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? The branding factor is out-of-the-box. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of wireless, transparent customized user-centric, cutting-edge implementation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our clicks-and-mortar branding but our power to exploit. We think we know that if you benchmark globally then you may also utilize intuitively. We understand that if you cultivate virally then you may also e-enable virally. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAD and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will rev up our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. We will step up our power to matrix without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Without adequate e-markets, cyber-nano-intra-CAE are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you deploy interactively, you may have to visualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging out-of-the-box, collaborative power shifts? If you productize globally, you may have to aggregate compellingly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating emerging media sourcing? Think global. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to brand wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our power to grow. We will repurpose the power of interfaces to productize. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with emerging user interfaces? We will deploy the term "value-added". The aptitude to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to monetize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable architectures and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will leverage the commonly-used jargon-based term "world-class". It may seem confounding, but it's realistic!