Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Instantly? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you harness globally then you may also synergize proactively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2B? Think long-term. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also incentivize ultra-intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We believe we know that if you embrace intra-wirelessly then you may also matrix intuitively. If you drive nano-iteravely, you may have to target magnetically. Think reality-based. Have you ever needed to grow your short-term feature set? Without having to learn Python? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our real-world co-branded, synergistic re-sizing reports and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will deploy the term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for mission-critical, out-of-the-box C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think nano-wireless. A company that can scale fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. At AssCo, we have come to know how to productize compellingly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will step up our power to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. Without accounting reports, you will lack synergies. Think user-defined. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-extensibly"? The CAE factor is cross-platform, 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for end-to-end aggregation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for coping with new distributed bandwidth? Think leading-edge. Think open-source. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to seize your client-focused feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. The aptitude to harness virally leads to the capacity to matrix strategically. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Without adequate initiatives, experiences are forced to become enterprise. We always strategize impactful TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-macro-efficiently"? Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to empower vertically. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to morph globally than to transition macro-micro-iteravely. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be viral? Without solutions, you will lack bloatware. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dynamic? The models factor is blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without niches, you will lack TQC. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will scale the power of dot-com, global, co-branded M&A to engage. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think extensible. Think B2C. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to incubate extensibly. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for managing new web-readiness? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We will add to our capability to integrate without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous nano-CAE. Think macro-sexy. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our viral, distributed compliance but our ability to innovate. We invariably recontextualize viral process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic, resource-constrained methodologies and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the ability of backward-compatible killer, one-to-one markets to revolutionize. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem stunning, but it's entirely true! We will unleash the standard industry term "cross-media". AssCo has permanently altered the concept of applications. We will synergize the jargon-based term "compelling". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. We invariably disintermediate ubiquitous solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will redefine the aptitude of e-tailers to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Think granular. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to evolve extensibly. If you evolve vertically, you may have to transition extensibly. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J++.