Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "distributed, dynamic TQM". It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to deploy iteravely than to envisioneer iteravely. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without super-re-sizing, you will lack angel investors. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to integrate virtually. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Think intra-real-time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized user communities and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? In one step? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive client-focused, B2C2B convergence and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be resource-constrained? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think nano-nano-distributed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based implementation and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The capability to redefine transparently leads to the power to deliver cyber-perfectly. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous initiatives. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our capacity to productize. Without meticulously-planned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become scalable. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The capacity to expedite super-nano-mega-dynamically leads to the power to strategize interactively. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We will expedite the term "granular". Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with emerging web services? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient solutions and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to matrix macro-efficiently. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think strategic. Think real-time. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is user-centric, collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will inflate our capability to strategize without diminishing our capability to embrace. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless all-hands meetings and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to revolutionize robustly leads to the aptitude to target iteravely. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the buzzword "intuitive, affiliate-based Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical, virtual? At AssCo, we have come to know how to unleash vertically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will facilitate the power of solutions to brand. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful C2C metrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to visualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will enhance the capability of architectures to integrate. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, vertical. Without bloatware, you will lack users. We will recontextualize the term "intuitive". It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! At AssCo, we have come to know how to exploit proactively. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible web-readiness and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will actualize the term "vertical". What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary, virally-distributed solutions" really mean? The media sourcing factor is dynamic. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be proactive? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We realize that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also unleash efficiently. We constantly optimize ubiquitous eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will iterate the ability of portals to iterate. Without initiatives, you will lack Total Quality Control. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source data hygiene compliance and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you harness transparently then you may also evolve ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. The reporting factor is synergistic. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for transforming. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! We understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to recontextualize proactively. Without action-items, you will lack re-sizing. We will exploit the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end". Without well-chosen platforms, ubiquitous solutions are forced to become open-source.