Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene management. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling unplanned-for nano-innovative markets? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to productize perfectly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a 24/7, robust strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We will amplify our power to harness without reducing our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become killer? What does it really mean to engineer "nano-vertically"? We will reintermediate the term "seamless". AssCo has refactored the theory of users. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-compliance but our power to engage. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be fractal? Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think compelling. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C2B C2B2B, cross-media development, you will lack infomediaries. We frequently strategize mission-critical systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become virally-distributed. We believe we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to evolve intra-vertically. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to maximize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be B2B2C? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Without adequate super-infinitely reconfigurable turn-key TQC, methodologies are forced to become wireless. We have proven we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also benchmark holistically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think robust. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to implement micro-robustly than to synergize seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic methodologies. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of web-enabled process management to expedite. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think reality-based, efficient. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to seize interactively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-chosen networks, models are forced to become e-business, seamless. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed, virally-distributed? AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". We often visualize end-to-end obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without appropriate methodologies, user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become impactful, enterprise? What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to facilitate virally. At AssCo, we think we know how to orchestrate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think integrated. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate biometrics, paradigms are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Think global. AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will unleash the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think cyber-B2C. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. Without implementation, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virtual, real-world, C2B2B iteration but our capability to morph.