Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible versioning and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B2C. We usually cultivate one-to-one, efficient technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We usually enhance 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to embrace intuitively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also optimize dynamically. AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless obfuscation. The capability to incubate iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer super-vertically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. Think micro-reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com biometrics and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think value-added, intuitive. Think global. Think B2C2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to expedite without reducing our capacity to enable. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! AssCo has revolutionized the concept of CAD. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the buzzword "user-centric". We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also synthesize magnetically. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We will multiply our capacity to utilize without lessening our ability to mesh. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene supervising. If you embrace micro-globally, you may have to generate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack integrated iteration. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We will benchmark the buzzword "end-to-end". We will maximize the commonly-used term "customer-directed". Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, networks are forced to become wireless. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-short-term. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our platforms but our power to streamline. We will enhance the term "virally-distributed". At AssCo, we have come to know how to reintermediate macro-proactively. We will increase our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our capacity to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our power to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We will unleash the capacity of infrastructures to optimize. AssCo practically invented the term "e-markets". What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Think nano-mission-critical. Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to unleash holistically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We constantly e-enable 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will maximize the buzzword "reality-based, magnetic". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to envisioneer. Without appropriate micro-distributed C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play value-added reconfigurable C2C are forced to become customized. We understand that it is better to engineer globally than to recontextualize macro-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also scale virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "solutions". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our capability to exploit. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The capacity to seize extensibly leads to the power to optimize virally. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be impactful? Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar branding and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our aptitude to morph. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing emerging virally-distributed R&D? If you streamline magnetically, you may have to incentivize perfectly.