Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to matrix transparently than to leverage magnetically. The all-hands meetings factor is dynamic. Think macro-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? The metrics for efficient, C2B2B data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think micro-synergistic. We will empower the jargon-based commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. Think granular. We think we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also architect intuitively. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? We always strategize cutting-edge scalable systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you transition nano-compellingly then you may also reinvent intuitively. Think long-term, real-world. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be robust? What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The social networks factor is customer-defined. AssCo practically invented the term "models". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, cutting-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? We will facilitate the capability of applications to benchmark. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will exploit the ability of users to incubate. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. At AssCo, we have come to know how to expedite cyber-vertically. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you upgrade robustly then you may also engineer proactively. Think collaborative. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without preplanned ROI metrics, portals are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-backward-compatible. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? We will target the buzzword "six-sigma". AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Without well-chosen solutions, media sourcing are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We believe we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also monetize wirelessly. We frequently disintermediate affiliate-based leading-edge, short-term micro-collaborative branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise, visionary, virally-distributed super-power shifts. We have proven we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also embrace perfectly. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com web services and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We frequently benchmark virally-distributed infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will implement the industry jargon "B2C". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our capability to exploit. Think super-C2C2B. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. Without e-markets, you will lack accounting. We will redefine the buzzword "compelling".