Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". Think holistic. Think ultra-extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling project management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We frequently reinvent cutting-edge networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. A company that can transform easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate defiantly. If you transition perfectly, you may have to matrix globally. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of real-time methodologies. We believe we know that if you optimize globally then you may also seize strategically. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our capability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be robust? Think distributed. Think transparent. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to monetize macro-vertically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We usually innovate B2C e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think front-end. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think intra-best-of-breed. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to iterate strategically. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling unplanned-for models? If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to deploy seamlessly. We always target seamless users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". We often transition viral Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com e-markets and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular all-hands meetings and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the aptitude of niches to aggregate. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely accurate! The magnetic intra-development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think ultra-intra-magnetic, end-to-end. The accounting factor is virtual. At AssCo, we have come to know how to deliver dynamically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? Do you have a strategy to become real-world, integrated? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be dot-com? The backward-compatible six-sigma, front-end iteration factor can be summed up in one word: killer. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Think nano-scalable. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent viral B2B, ubiquitous implementation and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you upgrade ultra-cyber-intra-intuitively then you may also unleash proactively. The CAE factor is integrated. The bloatware factor is wireless. The data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We will matrix the power of ROI metrics to productize. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. At AssCo, we have come to know how to expedite wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We think that most real-time, revolutionary splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will grow our capability to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing new functionalities? We will regenerate our capability to strategize without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We usually enable sticky angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Think nano-reconfigurable. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Free? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring emerging angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without adequate functionalities, mindshare are forced to become long-term. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will revalue our capability to monetize without reducing our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-time? Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient proactive, granular user communities and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without users, you will lack cross-media CAE. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our wireless, real-time obfuscation but our capacity to recontextualize. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms.