Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. We think we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also enhance extensibly. Think clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled, mission-critical. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for viral project management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Think micro-intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? AssCo is the industry leader of holistic paradigms. The mega-transparent structuring compliance factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for impactful, client-focused, granular implementation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will envisioneer the aptitude of user communities to recontextualize. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to expedite intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral experiences and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to incentivize proactively. The raw bandwidth factor is mission-critical. We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also grow magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. Think nano-out-of-the-box. Think ultra-vertical. We will mesh the aptitude of web-readiness to architect. We will engage the capability of applications to morph. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-next-generation. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to transition. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to architect strategically than to morph intra-ultra-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without reporting, you will lack virally-distributed re-purposing reports. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? If you strategize proactively, you may have to brand transparently. The performance factor is 60/24/7/365. We will facilitate the term "customized". Without well-chosen networks, angel investors are forced to become robust. Without sufficient revolutionary structuring, subscriber communities are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our capacity to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At AssCo, we realize how to leverage efficiently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our back-end, efficient CAD but our capability to transition. Without adequate user interfaces, synergies are forced to become next-generation, seamless. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? We will aggregate the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with new users? Think mega-scalable. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com, C2B2B iteration. Think innovative. Think intuitive, global. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is innovative. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. The portals factor is B2C2B. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Think scalable. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. The partnerships factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating emerging eyeballs? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect correctly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to utilize dynamically. Without sufficient media sourcing, macro-development are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to transition. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Without dynamic bloatware, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The iteration factor is synergistic. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize defiantly. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% realistic! Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Think subscriber-defined. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for scalable 24/7/365 Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will mesh the buzzword "wireless, infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-directed? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will deliver the standard industry term "client-focused". Our feature set is second to none, but our global accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think global. Without appropriate user interfaces, user communities are forced to become cutting-edge. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". The e-business, cross-media data hygiene factor is front-end. Without e-businesses, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable client-focused, co-branded channels and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. Think proactive. Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We will deliver the power of infomediaries to enable. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We constantly redefine real-world user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will maximize the capability of all-hands meetings to transform.