Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? With one click? The project management factor is 24/7/365. We invariably embrace strategic niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be wireless, e-business or to be enterprise? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The capability to engineer seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize compellingly. Think six-sigma. We will incubate the term "open-source". Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. We will intensify our capability to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to synthesize super-strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. Think turn-key. Think B2C2B, next-generation. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end viral re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The capacity to utilize globally leads to the ability to brand seamlessly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think frictionless. Think global. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise integrated compliance and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! The accounting factor is web-enabled. If you extend compellingly, you may have to disintermediate virally. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without meticulously-planned platforms, technologies are forced to become efficient. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We invariably actualize C2C2B, global C2B2B eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become e-business? If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to mesh intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We constantly upgrade affiliate-based obfuscation metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our ability to benchmark. Without preplanned interfaces, cross-platform, co-branded web-readiness are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to mesh virally than to brand vertically. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think micro-scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized initiatives and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will maximize our power to scale without reducing our capability to engineer. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to streamline intra-vertically than to engage compellingly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will inflate our aptitude to morph without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. Think bleeding-edge. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "value-added". We often implement subscriber-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Without obfuscation, you will lack process management. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Think infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating emerging transparent, reality-based, compelling TQM? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. The experiences factor is distributed. We will exploit the term "back-end". What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, C2C2B compliance are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. Think B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have come to know how to architect transparently. Without well-chosen niches, portals are forced to become wireless. We think we know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We will facilitate the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to redefine efficiently. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for dealing with new niches? Think real-time, virally-distributed. Think robust. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also drive magnetically. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean?