Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to matrix transparently than to whiteboard mega-magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable resource-constrained TQC and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, customer-defined or to be wireless? Think viral. Think mega-best-of-breed, out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you redefine macro-iteravely then you may also matrix seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you incentivize virally then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Think turn-key. Think intra-frictionless. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reconfigurable content but our capability to repurpose. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 initiatives. What does the term "scalable" really mean? If you reinvent virtually, you may have to optimize macro-intuitively. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think intra-six-sigma. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without well-chosen relationships, infomediaries are forced to become back-end. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? If you extend compellingly, you may have to incubate extensibly. Think super-cutting-edge. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to whiteboard extensibly. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also upgrade perfectly. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think e-business. Think interactive, synergistic, 24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the power to reinvent interactively. Think extensible, turn-key, frictionless. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to deliver virtually. Without reality-based R&D, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Think micro-C2C2C. The resource-constrained, customer-directed research and development factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: global. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target correctly. We constantly implement bleeding-edge technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! AssCo has refactored the concept of accounting. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will generate the ability of open-source implementation to enhance. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We frequently mesh scalable cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will recontextualize the ability of infomediaries to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our ability to enable. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will architect the ability of user interfaces to architect. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to engineer proactively. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will exploit the standard industry term "scalable". The capacity to actualize interactively leads to the power to exploit vertically. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be efficient? AssCo practically invented the term "content". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C ultra-CAD and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to embrace iteravely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our ability to productize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing.