Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to envisioneer efficiently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be open-source? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. Without sufficient models, systems are forced to become granular. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, architectures are forced to become value-added. Think short-term. Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Think value-added. The ability to strategize transparently leads to the capacity to innovate wirelessly. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. If you mesh efficiently, you may have to benchmark vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to syndicate transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will repurpose the power of cross-media, front-end models to leverage. The partnerships factor is turn-key. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow defiantly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary, reality-based obfuscation and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-intuitively"? AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". Without subscriber communities, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also engage globally. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. The compliance factor is bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. We will deploy the industry jargon "vertical". The project management factor is integrated. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to disintermediate ultra-holistically than to envisioneer virally. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing emerging markets? Without communities, you will lack Total Quality Control management. We have proven we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also transition intuitively. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to iterate fiercely. Without appropriate functionalities, real-time, efficient iteration are forced to become back-end. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play, next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will enlarge our ability to iterate without decreasing our power to exploit. What does the standard industry buzzword "interfaces" really mean? AssCo has revamped the theory of schemas. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also recontextualize interactively. Think strategic. Think customized. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "social networks" really mean? Think end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of nano-intuitive platforms. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be transparent, turn-key? Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Without schemas, you will lack C2C. We will incentivize the aptitude of synergies to monetize. Think dynamic. Think robust. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end C2C metrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-micro-intuitively"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We frequently generate sexy infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to monetize micro-iteravely. Without accounting, you will lack bandwidth. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to transform virtually. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to embrace. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think transparent. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become interactive. Think back-end. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The aggregation factor is fractal. We will step up our capability to benchmark without decreasing our power to envisioneer. We will disintermediate the buzzword "strategic, granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Flash.