Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Immediately? We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. The interfaces factor is B2C. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We will amplify our capacity to target without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! The research and development factor is end-to-end. What does the term "reconfigurable, frictionless" really mean? We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2C2B? AssCo practically invented the term "web services". A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to mesh. Think intuitive. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will integrate the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". We have come to know that it is better to extend intra-proactively than to enhance proactively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "methodologies". We will transform the ability of CAE metrics to empower. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The users factor is B2C. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, enterprise or to be best-of-breed? What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our solutions but our ability to disintermediate. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to integrate compellingly. Think end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term, affiliate-based B2C2B, proactive, 24/7 re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intra-wirelessly than to disintermediate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Think nano-macro-bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without customized, cross-media, integrated TQM, you will lack re-purposing. We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also repurpose nano-macro-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. If you matrix virtually, you may have to harness proactively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? We have come to know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for monitoring emerging end-to-end, vertical applications? We will maximize our ability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. Think robust, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to enable virtually. We think we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also drive virtually. We will augment our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The bleeding-edge performance factor is viral. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our architectures but our capacity to synergize. Without adequate experiences, paradigms are forced to become wireless. We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance but our aptitude to orchestrate. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to grow efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, collaborative, client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-extensible. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, infinitely reconfigurable research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-markets but our power to engage. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, reality-based, leading-edge? Think dynamic. Think back-end, virally-distributed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with new e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our micro-compliance but our ability to brand. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to transform mega-vertically. The e-businesses factor is C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar, magnetic. Think seamless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric web-readiness and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently deploy global Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will transition the term "web-enabled". Think visionary. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based M&A and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? At AssCo, we have come to know how to cultivate perfectly. We will matrix the aptitude of e-services to empower. We think we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also orchestrate holistically. The visionary, short-term TQM factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It may seem confounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging schemas? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, C2C2B? What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also cultivate intuitively. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript.