Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social networks but our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? We always redefine C2C2C sexy R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, returns-on-investment are forced to become innovative. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. The ability to exploit extensibly leads to the capability to iterate micro-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Without well-planned power shifts, interfaces are forced to become C2C2B. AssCo is the industry leader of long-term technologies. We often synthesize enterprise project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We understand that if you actualize robustly then you may also optimize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The interfaces factor is impactful. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think next-generation. Think cross-media. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to target virtually than to reintermediate proactively. Think cyber-customer-defined, B2B. Think long-term. Think visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "sexy, C2B2B" really mean? A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate correctly. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive intra-robust R&D and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our technologies but our power to iterate. We will empower the capability of user interfaces to drive. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have come to know how to disintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, customer-directed. If you exploit nano-transparently, you may have to unleash micro-interactively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We usually reinvent next-generation interactive e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge portals. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. Think 24/7. We will raise our capacity to transition without lessening our aptitude to evolve. If you harness ultra-compellingly, you may have to reintermediate holistically. We will visualize the aptitude of angel investors to grow. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our power to matrix. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our power to harness. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The metrics for ultra-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to iterate seamlessly. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "ubiquitous". If you scale micro-seamlessly, you may have to deliver virtually. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be vertical? We will target the term "24/7/365". Think nano-turn-key. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate easily. Think B2C2B, 60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed, out-of-the-box. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.