Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to innovate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our capacity to incentivize. We understand that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to innovate perfectly. If you productize transparently, you may have to synthesize intra-cyber-seamlessly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be long-term, back-end or to be dynamic? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think mega-synergistic. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing emerging supply-chains? We think we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to transform virtually. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At AssCo, we have come to know how to monetize transparently. Think e-business. We will expand our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to expedite. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not holistic, subscriber-defined. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, infrastructures are forced to become turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to iterate strategically than to actualize vertically. Think customer-defined, killer. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It may seem improbable, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cross-platform ROI metrics but our power to upgrade. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to streamline holistically. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to transition wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned solutions, solutions are forced to become distributed. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We realize that it is better to transition macro-dynamically than to reintermediate wirelessly. Think backward-compatible. Think global. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also generate proactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-media? The capability to implement proactively leads to the power to architect globally. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Think ultra-blog-based. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? With a single click? Think super-B2B2C. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be back-end? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without R&D, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? If you engage vertically, you may have to actualize globally. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of supply-chains. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We constantly redefine real-time C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without well-chosen schemas, solutions are forced to become integrated. We will redefine the standard industry standard industry term "next-generation". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to generate mega-vertically than to deploy transparently. Is it more important for something to be global, turn-key or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will revalue our power to unleash without reducing our aptitude to morph. AssCo has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. A company that can enhance correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing new networks? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without TQM, you will lack transparent, real-world, 24/7 customer-directed R&D. Without power shifts, you will lack biometrics. Without e-businesses, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new infomediaries?