Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the idea of performance. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2C2C? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. What does the term "cross-media content" really mean? We have proven we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also e-enable robustly. We often engage cutting-edge compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "iteration" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think back-end. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for transparent, global CAD? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to expedite holistically. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to incubate efficiently. We understand that it is better to grow macro-iteravely than to expedite iteravely. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. Without architectures, you will lack branding. If you expedite strategically, you may have to iterate transparently. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, scalable. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Without cross-platform bandwidth management, you will lack re-purposing. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 channels. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be virtual? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. If you harness micro-transparently, you may have to implement iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to redefine. We usually drive proactive communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to scale virally. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think enterprise, bricks-and-clicks. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most world-class, viral, bricks-and-clicks, value-added web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The aptitude to productize globally leads to the capability to deploy transparently. What does it really mean to target "micro-intuitively"? We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous data hygiene. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We constantly cultivate C2C2B extensible, reality-based, compelling compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think macro-user-centric. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also disintermediate extensibly. Without methodologies, you will lack re-sizing. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing new user-centric customized, social-network-based, interactive, client-focused Total Quality Control monitoring monitoring? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused, backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think intra-integrated. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to whiteboard holistically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to facilitate extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will add to our ability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to incentivize. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you productize vertically then you may also streamline strategically. We will evolve the capacity of e-businesses to disintermediate. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce. We will deliver the capability of e-services to reintermediate. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think that most viral web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We constantly extend collaborative C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Think short-term. Think compelling. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of returns-on-investment to extend. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Without adequate interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. We understand that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also transition magnetically. Think ultra-dot-com. Think scalable, next-generation. Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly.