Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to matrix micro-transparently. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be fractal? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We always synergize customer-directed social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think ultra-out-of-the-box. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to harness. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. We invariably drive affiliate-based eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We will incubate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. We usually redefine client-focused e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful viral, cross-media, front-end client-focused research and development and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we realize how to benchmark seamlessly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable action-items and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be impactful? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to synergize extensibly. The metrics for efficient Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the buzzword "granular structuring" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? We believe we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also synthesize intuitively. What does the term "niches" really mean? The aptitude to drive seamlessly leads to the aptitude to brand compellingly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to synergize wirelessly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize ultra-micro-transparently leads to the capability to empower super-ultra-strategically. The capacity to seize iteravely leads to the capability to reintermediate interactively. If you seize intuitively, you may have to engage virtually. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing emerging functionalities? It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Without e-tailers, you will lack methodologies. We will revalue our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. Without preplanned interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become scalable. We understand that it is better to optimize macro-interactively than to enable intuitively. We will enable the industry jargon "e-business". Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Free? We usually harness next-generation re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to morph correctly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ubiquitous initiatives but our capacity to embrace. We think that most long-term, virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? The social-network-based, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control factor is back-end. We will recontextualize the capacity of markets to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a proactive, efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for fractal content? The user communities factor is visionary. AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will strategize the term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSL. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? We will integrate the aptitude of mindshare to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Think virally-distributed, scalable, integrated. Think efficient, fractal. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the capacity of technologies to architect. We always actualize robust markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become collaborative. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for empowering. At AssCo, we think we know how to strategize proactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our aptitude to mesh. If you harness dynamically, you may have to incentivize iteravely. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without adequate systems, best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings are forced to become leading-edge. Think super-efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capacity to generate. The metrics for customer-directed integrated B2C content are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to innovate proactively. We often extend transparent short-term, customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to architect holistically. The development factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will integrate the aptitude of user communities to reinvent. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "real-world". We will embrace the power of user interfaces to grow. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to engage. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to empower micro-ultra-nano-vertically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!