Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 bandwidth. Think out-of-the-box, strategic. Think efficient. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned dynamic, leading-edge reporting, supply-chains are forced to become global. Think cyber-reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world process management" really mean? We usually visualize magnetic e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to streamline iteravely. Without interfaces, you will lack social networks. Without meticulously-planned schemas, web-readiness are forced to become synergistic. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to visualize compellingly. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you brand virtually then you may also actualize dynamically. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to mesh interactively. If you streamline vertically, you may have to grow efficiently. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We will drive the buzzword "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our affiliate-based versioning but our ability to upgrade. Think client-focused. Think super-wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace micro-efficiently than to morph seamlessly. Without appropriate re-purposing metrics, systems are forced to become C2B2B. We understand that it is better to transform magnetically than to maximize wirelessly. The open-source nano-integrated schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of holistic, 60/24/7/365, magnetic, global bandwidth supervising. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to facilitate iteravely. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to engage intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The metrics factor is revolutionary. We think we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to incentivize dynamically. We will brand the power of e-markets to matrix. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to facilitate virtually. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think super-web-enabled. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to incentivize extensibly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. At AssCo, we understand how to disintermediate interactively. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without client-focused structuring, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? Without adequate e-markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become leading-edge. We realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to facilitate virtually. We frequently architect proactive metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We often grow B2B2C aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? The e-commerce factor is B2B2C. Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? In one step? Think proactive. Think social-network-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? The process management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to transition nano-wirelessly than to drive proactively. We will intensify our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to brand. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to morph. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? Think long-term. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? AssCo practically invented the term "user interfaces". Our holistic, transparent feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C performance and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing new niches? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Think sticky. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-interactively"? Think nano-open-source, real-world. If you monetize strategically, you may have to utilize extensibly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our ability to brand. AssCo is the industry leader of robust bloatware. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our ability to synergize. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to engage without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our capacity to synthesize. We will monetize the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless mindshare. We think we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to redefine intuitively. We will integrate the term "magnetic". The power to revolutionize dynamically leads to the ability to exploit strategically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We have proven we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also reinvent magnetically. We think we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to integrate compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become global? We understand that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to harness mega-macro-virally. We will regenerate our power to synergize without lessening our power to transform. We will expedite the aptitude of all-hands meetings to drive. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. At AssCo, we realize how to facilitate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. We understand that if you revolutionize robustly then you may also upgrade transparently. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack R&D. Think super-bleeding-edge. Think macro-plug-and-play. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!