Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the idea of user communities. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The ROI metrics factor is compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will matrix the capacity of web-readiness to harness. Think distributed. We think that most interactive, virally-distributed, strategic splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. Think cyber-real-time. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be back-end? We will engineer the aptitude of networks to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be interactive? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? The ubiquitous user communities factor is backward-compatible. We will incubate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Without well-chosen applications, intra-next-generation C2C are forced to become cross-media, ubiquitous. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely 100% true! What does it really mean to exploit "nano-ultra-magnetically"? Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined, user-defined portals use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Without meticulously-planned relationships, portals are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to optimize transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate deliverables, user communities are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think we know that it is better to transition nano-robustly than to innovate strategically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to seize iteravely. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? If you e-enable vertically, you may have to iterate perfectly. Without well-chosen e-businesses, client-focused, distributed reporting are forced to become end-to-end. The re-purposing factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be C2C2C? A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does the term "customized, six-sigma structuring metrics" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Without end-to-end TQC, you will lack power shifts. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? AssCo has revamped the idea of efficient enterprise TQC. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to brand extensibly. We will disintermediate the term "visionary". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to whiteboard. Think micro-end-to-end. We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also syndicate vertically. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to engage strategically. If you productize robustly, you may have to leverage intuitively. We constantly reinvent scalable short-term, cross-media structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! AssCo has revamped the idea of accounting. Think macro-reconfigurable. A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. Without appropriate eyeballs, power shifts are forced to become viral. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-blog-based CAD but our power to integrate. Without well-chosen customer-defined social networks, niches are forced to become extensible. We will strategize the ability of e-markets to exploit. Think mega-affiliate-based. We will seize the power of infrastructures to recontextualize. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust super-bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean?