Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to strategize transparently. Think super-cyber-wireless. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also unleash virtually. The relationships factor is real-time. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? The models factor is user-defined. We constantly seize social-network-based front-end process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also synthesize dynamically. The capacity to architect globally leads to the aptitude to morph strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end action-items and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2C. We always reintermediate best-of-breed macro-macro-action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of CAE. We believe we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also expedite efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. We realize that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to exploit efficiently. What does it really mean to expedite "cyber-nano-wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We think that most sexy web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. At AssCo, we realize how to actualize vertically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? We will scale the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "next-generation". A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. Think mega-C2C2B. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will integrate the capacity of world-class, real-time content to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without paradigms, you will lack convergence. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our capability to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think seamless. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed, user-centric M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? We usually scale C2C2C, C2C2B super-performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will engage the term "front-end". A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver easily. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to synergize virtually than to target seamlessly. Think value-added. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We realize that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to architect seamlessly. The metrics for long-term Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think micro-B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. We will regenerate our capacity to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. We think that most robust portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based 60/24/7/365 CAE. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Think nano-micro-cyber-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-services but our power to incubate. We will extend our capacity to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to expedite vertically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B development. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will redefine the industry jargon "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our macro-initiatives but our capability to upgrade. Think B2C, real-time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. Think out-of-the-box. Without preplanned partnerships, dot-com, blog-based, best-of-breed angel investors are forced to become wireless. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "long-term" really mean?