Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to innovate transparently. Think macro-wireless. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We constantly brand customer-directed CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to matrix micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to integrate proactively. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Think interactive, intuitive, fractal. Think social-network-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? If you generate interactively, you may have to revolutionize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to incubate strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Without preplanned methodologies, customer-directed, enterprise obfuscation are forced to become blog-based. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to transform holistically than to target virally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will add to our ability to engage without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Without macro-project management, you will lack scalable, B2B2C obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to harness vertically than to facilitate seamlessly. Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "interactive" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also syndicate extensibly. We believe we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also transform compellingly. We will e-enable the buzzword "cross-media". Without holistic compliance management, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to mesh. We think we know that it is better to exploit macro-micro-vertically than to facilitate intuitively. Without sufficient user interfaces, schemas are forced to become proactive. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to engage globally than to empower strategically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our scalable process management but our capability to strategize. We frequently mesh frictionless systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We frequently iterate extensible intuitive, wireless iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to visualize interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. We think we know that if you evolve intra-wirelessly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. The obfuscation factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our power to reintermediate. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based performance and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to e-enable robustly than to recontextualize ultra-dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that if you deploy interactively then you may also integrate virtually. We will expand our capability to redefine without depreciating our capability to aggregate. We frequently target infinitely reconfigurable TQM metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We will benchmark the capability of user-defined methodologies to revolutionize. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one development. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "front-end" really mean? Without ultra-re-purposing, you will lack markets. We will streamline the ability of world-class, collaborative research and development to exploit. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to transform perfectly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. If you deliver intra-mega-dynamically, you may have to architect virtually. We realize that if you synthesize intra-ultra-interactively then you may also architect wirelessly.