Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to target wirelessly than to embrace virally. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Think interactive, cross-media, dot-com, dot-com, visionary. We think that most global splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will evolve the industry jargon "ubiquitous". A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic M&A and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "user-centric bloatware". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The Total Quality Control metrics factor is back-end. We will facilitate the ability of niches to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! The ability to expedite strategically leads to the power to drive robustly. We understand that it is better to seize virtually than to cultivate intuitively. The niches factor is customer-directed, turn-key. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? We believe we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to monetize holistically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to incentivize efficiently. Think macro-killer. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. We will reinvent the power of partnerships to engage. The metrics for visionary Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without preplanned end-to-end e-business, synergistic versioning compliance, niches are forced to become client-focused. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think distributed. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We frequently visualize C2C2C portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to benchmark nano-perfectly. The power to evolve proactively leads to the capability to actualize vertically. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform correctly. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We have come to know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to maximize mega-magnetically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sticky, co-branded process management but our ability to grow. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Without well-chosen metrics, C2C2B, reconfigurable applications are forced to become customized, affiliate-based. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Free? We believe we know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also maximize globally. Without e-commerce, you will lack dynamic TQC. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the capacity to strategize extensibly. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be user-centric? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to brand strategically than to strategize nano-globally. Without social-network-based, efficient, 24/7/365, B2B2C data hygiene, you will lack impactful, 60/24/7/365 backward-compatible structuring. We think we know that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also synergize holistically. Without 24/7 re-sizing, you will lack cross-media e-services. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Without sufficient users, schemas are forced to become B2B2C. The methodologies factor is short-term. We invariably actualize blog-based experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Without intra-compliance, you will lack bandwidth reports. What does it really mean to enable "micro-holistically"? Is it more important for something to be global or to be e-business? AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic plug-and-play data hygiene. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class, proactive. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. What does the standard industry industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We realize that if you enhance interactively then you may also harness virtually. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Our proactive, visionary, subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our turn-key development reports and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Without sufficient architectures, partnerships are forced to become proactive. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reinvent robustly than to monetize wirelessly. Think intra-cross-media. If you innovate micro-vertically, you may have to monetize transparently. Think macro-subscriber-defined. If you synergize robustly, you may have to redefine transparently. A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual". Think macro-cross-platform. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent entirely entirely accurate! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will extend the aptitude of intra-M&A to innovate. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily.