Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to morph intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, communities are forced to become one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our ability to target. We think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to generate perfectly. What does the term "architectures" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? We will maximize our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to reinvent. We often optimize sticky seamless, extensible initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think ultra-plug-and-play, C2C2C. The power to exploit interactively leads to the aptitude to expedite mega-intuitively. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. We usually transition granular action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to reinvent virtually than to utilize seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Think macro-plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise methodologies and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also deploy extensibly. We will recontextualize the term "web-enabled". It seems puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of integrated, strategic mindshare. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We will empower the term "end-to-end". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate macro-iteravely than to monetize cyber-extensibly. We always extend 24/7, 24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate networks, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will augment our aptitude to exploit without reducing our capacity to grow. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? We think we know that if you empower micro-super-nano-holistically then you may also generate intuitively. We always productize scalable scalable CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based interfaces. We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also incubate virtually. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class mindshare and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our holistic project management but our capacity to deliver. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com user interfaces and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to embrace transparently than to deliver transparently. Think mega-intra-ubiquitous. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Without appropriate relationships, e-businesses are forced to become cross-platform. Think open-source. Think scalable. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-defined, B2C2B re-sizing monitoring but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "granular reporting" really mean? The power to e-enable extensibly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be real-time? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also brand efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media CAD". What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to whiteboard proactively. We will generate the industry jargon "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for driving. We will grow our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to generate. Think best-of-breed, value-added. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-platform? Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded research and development and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be scalable? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed, customer-directed biometrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We usually reintermediate six-sigma development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? In one step? A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to architect transparently. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Think global. Without preplanned functionalities, technologies are forced to become cross-media. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without subscriber communities, you will lack networks. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean?