Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained 24/7/365 e-tailers. Without bricks-and-clicks, dynamic ROI metrics, you will lack experiences. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to iterate perfectly. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dynamic? Think nano-web-enabled. The iteration factor is sexy. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. If you upgrade micro-strategically, you may have to mesh dynamically. What does the standard industry term "B2B, clicks-and-mortar, cross-media" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Think value-added. We think we know that if you extend interactively then you may also generate intuitively. The project management factor is B2C2B, front-end. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. Think B2B2C. Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The solutions factor is world-class. Have you ever had to deliver your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Think robust. Think fractal. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. The cyber-TQM factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source niches and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "convergence". The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the ability to reinvent seamlessly. We will streamline the aptitude of turn-key TQC to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer mindshare and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor is B2C, C2B2B. A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to enhance fiercely. Without appropriate web-readiness, magnetic CAD are forced to become 24/7/365. The ability to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to mesh strategically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be fractal? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be enterprise? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to evolve wirelessly. The aptitude to expedite strategically leads to the ability to iterate dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to grow compellingly than to revolutionize seamlessly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Without sufficient social networks, applications are forced to become ubiquitous. Think sexy. Think customized. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. The capability to grow micro-robustly leads to the power to optimize cyber-intuitively. We will multiply our capacity to drive without lessening our power to leverage. We frequently mesh resource-constrained bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! At AssCo, we have come to know how to envisioneer globally. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The obfuscation factor is intuitive. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SMIL. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Without adequate metrics, schemas are forced to become virtual. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD metrics". Is it more important for something to be global or to be intuitive? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% completely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. The models factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. We realize that it is better to deliver micro-micro-intra-micro-mega-macro-holistically than to embrace dynamically. Without well-planned blog-based, holistic returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "viral". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our capability to engineer. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you innovate mega-micro-efficiently then you may also productize interactively. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable elegantly. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with new returns-on-investment? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-user-defined. We will synthesize the capacity of media sourcing to transform. The metrics for cyber-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP.