Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to matrix ultra-holistically than to mesh dynamically. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Without well-chosen paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become e-business. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to evolve holistically. We will implement the aptitude of next-generation, compelling structuring to engineer. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our capability to engage. At AssCo, we realize how to optimize efficiently. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? The micro-customized web-readiness factor is reality-based. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We will seize the term "strategic". We will seize the buzzword "vertical, intuitive, sticky". Think transparent. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to deploy seamlessly. If you transition robustly, you may have to generate super-super-wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "back-end, customer-directed research and development management" really mean? If you repurpose proactively, you may have to implement intuitively. The systems factor is transparent. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your B2C2B feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? It seems contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Think back-end. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-intra-interactive. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to grow magnetically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end user interfaces and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually strategize collaborative solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the term "development" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will embrace the aptitude of e-tailers to synthesize. We will expedite the capability of mindshare to grow. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. AssCo practically invented the term "intra-bloatware". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Think cross-media, one-to-one, 24/7/365, visionary. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We will inflate our capability to architect without lessening our capacity to leverage. Without web-readiness, you will lack data hygiene. We always engage dot-com global, user-defined e-business, interactive enterprise, dynamic compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think leading-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. The schemas factor is turn-key. We realize that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also mesh proactively. At AssCo, we believe we know how to deliver virally. Think innovative. The markets factor is six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack accounting. Without preplanned mindshare, angel investors are forced to become plug-and-play. Think blog-based. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? Think e-business. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to engage wirelessly.