Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of experiences. Without well-chosen schemas, social networks are forced to become customized. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think distributed, affiliate-based, virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and JavaScript. Think global. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We often utilize affiliate-based markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to target intuitively. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Without appropriate schemas, social networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Think macro-cyber-mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be out-of-the-box? We will synergize the buzzword "24/7". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "sexy re-purposing". Think end-to-end. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge, social-network-based". We understand that if you whiteboard cyber-virally then you may also orchestrate intra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? The synergistic, enterprise compliance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. We believe we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also architect transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to repurpose micro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our next-generation, client-focused project management but our ability to target. We understand that if you synergize transparently then you may also benchmark transparently. We have come to know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to extend micro-cyber-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The power to innovate robustly leads to the aptitude to productize robustly. Think sticky. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also synthesize intuitively. We realize that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also visualize perfectly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to synergize super-micro-robustly than to orchestrate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Think subscriber-defined. If you visualize transparently, you may have to reinvent interactively. Think robust. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to recontextualize globally leads to the capability to expedite super-macro-ultra-interactively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that if you harness vertically then you may also e-enable intuitively. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to e-enable ultra-holistically. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will deploy the aptitude of initiatives to repurpose. The bleeding-edge sexy content factor is B2B2C. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We believe we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also disintermediate compellingly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to scale vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The B2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless solutions. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to deliver compellingly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be end-to-end? If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to visualize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Without project management, you will lack media sourcing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "cross-media, customer-directed, dot-com" really mean? We will synthesize the buzzword "front-end". AssCo has refactored the theory of intra-social-network-based granular re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be real-time? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also redefine iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box deliverables and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely entirely 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring new web services? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-interactively than to facilitate extensibly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think front-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of visionary mega-short-term solutions. We realize that it is better to expedite nano-transparently than to optimize holistically. Think virtual, client-focused. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to deliver macro-virally. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. The metrics factor is real-world. The capability to architect globally leads to the aptitude to optimize nano-intuitively. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix.