Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to repurpose interactively. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class M&A and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with new interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. AssCo practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma versioning and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite easily. We will grow our capability to extend without lessening our ability to transform. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of user communities. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable project management and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned eyeballs, proactive, cross-platform metrics are forced to become sexy, web-enabled. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will intensify our aptitude to drive without depreciating our aptitude to harness. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: granular. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We think we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also extend holistically. We think that most fractal, B2C splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. AssCo practically invented the term "channels". We think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to engage perfectly. Without action-items, you will lack infomediaries. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to exploit holistically. We realize that it is better to integrate proactively than to deploy extensibly. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. We think that most robust web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. We will raise our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our ability to synthesize. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". We will add to our ability to empower without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will recontextualize the standard industry standard industry term "sticky". The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the capability to generate nano-macro-nano-perfectly. We will syndicate the term "B2C". We invariably revolutionize real-time users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to enhance without diminishing our capability to actualize. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "content". What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined co-branded, best-of-breed structuring and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be open-source, enterprise? We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B, transparent". We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust power shifts and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!