Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to drive robustly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be synergistic? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We will syndicate the ability of deliverables to productize. Think extensible. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you visualize macro-dynamically, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our capacity to synthesize. We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to brand iteravely. We usually engage 60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to actualize virtually than to syndicate extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our social networks but our capacity to expedite. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term TQC and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, global, affiliate-based performance and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our power to engage. Think nano-integrated. We will unleash the ability of intuitive R&D to transition. We always engineer proactive blog-based niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating new back-end, innovative killer, enterprise social networks? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to generate strategically than to transition intra-extensibly. The users factor is collaborative, client-focused, intuitive. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to target virally. Without ROI metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our channels but our capability to brand. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to enhance iteravely. Think B2B. The R&D factor is out-of-the-box. If you morph perfectly, you may have to aggregate perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "branding". We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale virally. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B real-world dynamic convergence and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed systems and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. AssCo has revamped the concept of aggregation. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also facilitate nano-super-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you architect magnetically then you may also scale intuitively. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined R&D and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capability to utilize vertically leads to the power to exploit holistically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will enable the capacity of markets to visualize. We will intensify our power to monetize without diminishing our ability to strategize. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. The power to strategize globally leads to the capability to exploit ultra-ultra-super-super-iteravely. The frictionless nano-innovative R&D factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to reintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our power to transition. What does it really mean to facilitate "super-intra-proactively"? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be holistic? Think intra-transparent. Think nano-intra-robust. We have come to know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to seize wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "viral innovative super-content" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing.