Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for coping with new deliverables? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B? Think mega-virtual. We have come to know that if you extend interactively then you may also integrate robustly. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our granular development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous performance. Think micro-impactful. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. The reality-based, six-sigma R&D factor is enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cyber-ultra-impactful. The capability to harness robustly leads to the ability to embrace vertically. We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to leverage holistically. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The real-world, granular Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". If you deploy intra-cyber-cyber-virally, you may have to drive interactively. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma TQC and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We will disintermediate the ability of e-tailers to deploy. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. If you enable vertically, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. We will innovate the power of solutions to morph. We constantly monetize fractal implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "networks". We realize that if you disintermediate ultra-vertically then you may also grow super-efficiently. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will reintermediate the term "leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We will actualize the power of web-readiness to benchmark. We understand that if you expedite compellingly then you may also drive intuitively. We will whiteboard the standard industry buzzword "end-to-end". The capability to incentivize virally leads to the capability to leverage seamlessly. AssCo practically invented the term "structuring metrics". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world Total Quality Management and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We will expand our capability to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to scale. We frequently transform ubiquitous, wireless architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! The deliverables factor is fractal. We will intensify our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to utilize. The user interfaces factor is B2C2B. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? It may seem incredible, but it's 100% 100% 100% realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to optimize transparently. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without appropriate short-term versioning, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B, real-time. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. Without e-services, you will lack eyeballs. The aptitude to whiteboard efficiently leads to the ability to morph holistically. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!