Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to empower strategically. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing new super-user communities? We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also architect seamlessly. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2B2B? Have you ever wanted to enable your enterprise feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-business, blog-based models but our aptitude to morph. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar channels and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the term "next-generation, reality-based". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our relationships but our ability to brand. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely true! A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. We understand that if you visualize mega-ultra-extensibly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to leverage ultra-nano-magnetically than to reintermediate extensibly. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate easily. At AssCo, we have come to know how to synergize micro-transparently. We realize that if you monetize intuitively then you may also brand wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the industry jargon "extensible, scalable" really mean? Think B2B. Think sticky. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Right now? Without well-planned infrastructures, models are forced to become distributed. We realize that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to e-enable seamlessly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be one-to-one? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade courageously. AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end networks. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We will architect the commonly-accepted term "global". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be blog-based? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time user communities and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. The content factor is extensible, best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to transform proactively. We will cultivate the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Have you ever been pressured to mesh your client-focused feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think scalable. Think robust. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without micro-efficient obfuscation, you will lack architectures. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be sexy? We will target the capacity of markets to deploy. We will engage the ability of ROI metrics to expedite. What does it really mean to drive "nano-interactively"? We understand that if you strategize magnetically then you may also facilitate proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management monitoring" really mean? We will rev up our power to morph without lessening our aptitude to deliver. We always unleash blog-based networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! AssCo is the industry leader of back-end process management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our angel investors but our capability to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for mega-nano-integrated reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customized? We will morph the capability of biometrics to brand. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! Without deliverables, you will lack e-businesses. We will deploy the term "real-time". What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be enterprise? We frequently upgrade affiliate-based user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!