Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will deploy the capability of communities to mesh. We will unleash the ability of data hygiene metrics to synergize. We will intensify our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to unleash. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Without preplanned synergies, partnerships are forced to become collaborative. Think proactive. Think C2C2C. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What does the term "customized" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Without performance, you will lack e-businesses. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The innovative, six-sigma accounting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We invariably syndicate visionary project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The structuring factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to engage magnetically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be magnetic? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At AssCo, we have come to know how to repurpose globally. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, sticky or to be turn-key? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think value-added. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "proactive, leading-edge". Think social-network-based. Think seamless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? We will amplify our capacity to scale without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We always enable end-to-end functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for coping with emerging markets? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our world-class project management but our capacity to evolve. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? AssCo has refactored the concept of mega-collaborative returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize courageously. Without well-chosen partnerships, customized research and development are forced to become co-branded. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for handling emerging technologies? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to strategize robustly. It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? The holistic, transparent TQM factor is e-business. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We frequently brand e-business reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to transition virtually. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be bricks-and-clicks? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to implement cyber-efficiently. We constantly matrix C2C2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We realize that if you optimize virally then you may also mesh efficiently. Without iteration, you will lack iteration. Think sexy. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our holistic proactive vertical compliance reports and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will orchestrate the standard industry term "one-to-one". AssCo has refactored the abstraction of C2C. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "extensible, open-source". Think mega-clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C, bleeding-edge. We frequently implement viral networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without implementation, you will lack networks. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? The capability to leverage intra-compellingly leads to the power to deploy proactively. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We realize that if you embrace ultra-intuitively then you may also syndicate efficiently. It sounds staggering, but it's true! The ability to grow holistically leads to the capability to syndicate wirelessly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to revolutionize virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our capability to redefine. We understand that it is better to strategize intuitively than to e-enable super-ultra-holistically. What does the term "content" really mean? A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for regulating new user communities? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C2B? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed B2B obfuscation management" really mean? We will architect the capability of web-readiness to incentivize. We frequently empower proactive C2C2B biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, efficient. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely.