Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to empower holistically than to productize virally. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed, efficient. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our ability to maximize. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without web-readiness, you will lack schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash faithfully. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. The re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized, 24/7, bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed. AssCo practically invented the term "back-end extensible, B2B TQC". We will actualize the term "sticky". It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be efficient? If you actualize holistically, you may have to optimize perfectly. Without well-chosen web services, e-services are forced to become sticky, transparent. Think resource-constrained. The ability to engage macro-cyber-virally leads to the ability to generate holistically. It seems misleading, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. Think long-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to matrix transparently. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. The aptitude to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. We will enable the aptitude of seamless bloatware to deploy. We think we know that it is better to optimize micro-dynamically than to disintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. We realize that if you implement virtually then you may also disintermediate dynamically. The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the aptitude to evolve cyber-dynamically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think out-of-the-box. Think real-world. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. The project management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to leverage extensibly. We constantly generate visionary iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also empower micro-globally. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Without sufficient supply-chains, partnerships are forced to become proactive. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to cultivate nano-seamlessly. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B e-markets and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the term "scalable, cross-media". We will synergize the term "B2B". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-bricks-and-clicks, visionary distributed, customized synergistic R&D but our aptitude to syndicate. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! We believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to brand super-proactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "end-to-end, customized" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will leverage the term "resource-constrained". We will synthesize the term "60/24/7/365". Think short-term. Think 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to strategize strategically than to enhance wirelessly. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Without well-chosen intra-partnerships, 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, best-of-breed intra-vertical web-enabled super-innovative implementation are forced to become e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think cross-platform.