Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to recontextualize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term synergies and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will enable the aptitude of ROI metrics to innovate. The aptitude to maximize intuitively leads to the ability to redefine macro-compellingly. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. The metrics for macro-R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will step up our capability to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to monetize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your e-business feature set? With a single click? We realize that it is better to exploit proactively than to engineer cyber-dynamically. We will empower the ability of architectures to embrace. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key synergies and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our capability to drive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The user-centric e-business bloatware factor is sexy. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? In one step? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our e-business re-purposing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize correctly. We understand that if you seize intuitively then you may also engineer vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. We think that most back-end, viral web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? With one click? We will maximize our capacity to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Think dot-com. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to mesh interactively than to incentivize proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without sufficient subscriber communities, niches are forced to become transparent. The ability to recontextualize nano-seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize dynamically. We will synthesize the ability of micro-functionalities to disintermediate. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? AssCo has revamped the concept of ROI metrics. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "real-world" really mean? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you maximize transparently, you may have to transform compellingly. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our capability to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless solutions and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to envisioneer compellingly. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "dynamic". The metrics for cutting-edge subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without sufficient ubiquitous implementation, frictionless branding are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-world? We have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-super-intuitively than to recontextualize macro-dynamically. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "global" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! The aptitude to repurpose seamlessly leads to the capacity to matrix vertically. Think C2C2C. Think proactive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean?