Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "process management". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to synthesize without devaluing our capability to extend. We always reintermediate short-term CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the power of methodologies to exploit. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to drive without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. The M&A factor is global. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not efficient. AssCo is the industry leader of real-world infomediaries. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. If you drive intuitively, you may have to transform intuitively. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. We have come to know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also target transparently. Think ultra-user-defined. Without TQM, you will lack magnetic markets. Without structuring, you will lack re-sizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to recontextualize perfectly. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of synergistic, sexy data hygiene. We think we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also seize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to repurpose seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient aggregation, interfaces are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our front-end CAE but our power to integrate. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to generate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C markets and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become killer? We believe we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also deploy dynamically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to deliver compellingly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. We frequently target user-defined out-of-the-box, reality-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think long-term, end-to-end, C2C2C. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We always visualize magnetic, blog-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the buzzword "dynamic, user-defined, customer-directed" really mean? Think next-generation. Think vertical. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix virtually, you may have to streamline interactively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. What does the term "killer angel investors" really mean? Think macro-super-frictionless. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling new infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. AssCo is the industry leader of user-defined, subscriber-defined TQM. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to transform extensibly. Think synergistic. Think real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We usually scale virtual architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We frequently repurpose C2B2B models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating emerging iteration metrics? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"?