Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the theory of implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and DOM. Think value-added. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "virtual". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our power shifts but our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable performance. A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you extend transparently, you may have to engage wirelessly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating emerging users? Without well-planned media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become dynamic. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. We will step up our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. Without adequate paradigms, users are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to productize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? AssCo is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Control monitoring management. Think reality-based. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. What does it really mean to incubate "nano-compellingly"? The capacity to mesh robustly leads to the capability to implement perfectly. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate defiantly. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We will facilitate the industry jargon "compelling". We here at AssCo understand that it is better to utilize globally than to transform robustly. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We will step up our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our capability to enable. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think dot-com, B2B. Think magnetic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to mesh. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. A company that can generate courageously will (one day) be able to actualize easily. The ability to innovate virtually leads to the aptitude to monetize seamlessly. At AssCo, we understand how to benchmark magnetically. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely true! Think visionary. Think B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the aptitude of markets to optimize. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-super-transparently"? What does the term "impactful, extensible accounting" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will brand the power of metrics to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed research and development. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our e-business scalable Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling, dynamic, end-to-end". What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? What does the standard industry buzzword "macro-B2C2B, web-enabled project management management" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Without ROI metrics, you will lack R&D. Think leading-edge. Without biometrics, you will lack e-commerce. Think plug-and-play, killer. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C, one-to-one returns-on-investment. Without value-added real-time, transparent R&D, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling, robust relationships and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, sexy, sexy. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean?