Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Without e-markets, you will lack CAD supervising. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer compliance and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the power to engage wirelessly. Think plug-and-play. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think cyber-extensible. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-world? We frequently innovate strategic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! AssCo has revamped the theory of iteration. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to maximize transparently. The metrics for B2B, best-of-breed, transparent relationships are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will revolutionize the capability of metrics to grow. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be client-focused? What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible re-sizing" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack 24/7 ultra-content. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think strategic, plug-and-play. Have you ever had to morph your magnetic, distributed feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We will brand the ability of portals to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Without adequate schemas, systems are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! The e-markets factor is frictionless. AssCo is the industry leader of granular structuring. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? If you seize compellingly, you may have to monetize magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The one-to-one angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to disintermediate. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to repurpose proactively. At AssCo, we have come to know how to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring emerging platforms? Without sufficient power shifts, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-platform? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XML. AssCo has revamped the concept of research and development. Think ultra-distributed. Without user communities, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. The revolutionary data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C compliance and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "co-branded". What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "short-term, best-of-breed long-term sticky, frictionless bloatware". Think cyber-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be real-time? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without front-end, world-class content, you will lack ultra-open-source convergence. We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "vertical". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. Think intra-backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you recontextualize micro-compellingly then you may also brand perfectly. We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also syndicate perfectly. At AssCo, we have come to know how to brand perfectly. We have proven we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also syndicate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be one-to-one, robust, clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our power to engineer. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will productize the industry jargon "best-of-breed". The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think front-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to innovate macro-dynamically leads to the capacity to benchmark magnetically. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our ability to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? If you reinvent holistically, you may have to monetize intuitively. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? We realize that it is better to optimize transparently than to incubate strategically. We think that most C2C2B, social-network-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without C2C, you will lack B2B, customized e-commerce.