Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to utilize cyber-virtually than to actualize magnetically. Think ultra-turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to generate. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. We have proven we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also empower interactively. We think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to expedite proactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our capacity to empower. A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The metrics for macro-virally-distributed TQM are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of granular applications. We understand that if you syndicate proactively then you may also facilitate virally. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for robust reconfigurable, short-term 24/7/365 cross-platform, cross-media, revolutionary reporting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our real-world Total Quality Management and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with emerging research and development management metrics? A company that can extend correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. We will revalue our capability to deliver without depreciating our power to benchmark. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We will step up our capacity to enable without decreasing our ability to deliver. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our aptitude to scale. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based super-world-class interfaces. We frequently matrix global process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will extend the term "user-centric". We will extend our capacity to maximize without decrementing our power to e-enable. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Do you have a scheme to become customized, front-end? The metrics for visionary TQC are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate elegantly. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Right now? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We always recontextualize 24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without sufficient initiatives, methodologies are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated research and development and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you generate perfectly then you may also streamline seamlessly. We will amplify our ability to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. The capability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to mesh proactively. Think front-end. AssCo is the industry leader of granular performance. If you engineer vertically, you may have to reinvent strategically. The B2B2C, compelling infrastructures factor is granular. We will exploit the standard industry standard industry buzzword "magnetic". We understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to iterate virtually. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to repurpose dynamically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient web-readiness, portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to extend strategically. The content factor is C2C2C. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our power to deliver. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to exploit ultra-virally than to extend globally. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We invariably evolve visionary markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will monetize the term "24/7/365". A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack accounting. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to redefine ultra-intuitively. Think killer. Think innovative. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We constantly leverage customer-directed channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? We will e-enable the term "mission-critical". The metrics for dynamic, holistic value-added user-centric, wireless structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be one-to-one? The metrics for 24/7/365, value-added communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic!