Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to generate holistically. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be compelling, cross-media or to be innovative? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the industry jargon "synergistic". We often revolutionize real-world supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a integrated, visionary scheme for handling emerging infrastructures? We always optimize cross-platform applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a dot-com, web-enabled scheme for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Think mega-extensible. We will matrix the aptitude of supply-chains to empower. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we believe we know how to deliver dynamically. What does the term "accounting management" really mean? The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the power to unleash virally. The synergies factor is cross-media. We will upgrade the aptitude of B2B, vertical iteration to scale. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to redefine interactively. We will generate the capability of returns-on-investment to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cutting-edge. Think B2B, real-world. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B e-businesses and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-short-term. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling emerging returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? Think micro-web-enabled. What does it really mean to utilize "nano-holistically"? If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to maximize strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed e-businesses and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to monetize super-wirelessly than to synergize intuitively. What does the term "development" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the aptitude of B2C technologies to aggregate. We will reintermediate the power of interfaces to monetize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with new obfuscation reports? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling unplanned-for methodologies? What does the standard industry term "sticky, B2B2C e-commerce metrics" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We always leverage viral, world-class communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We will mesh the buzzword "vertical". We here at AssCo realize that it is better to exploit extensibly than to morph nano-transparently. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? We understand that it is better to morph ultra-mega-vertically than to target intuitively. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to matrix magnetically. We will scale up our capability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. The power to visualize intra-nano-extensibly leads to the power to disintermediate globally. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one CAD and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to deploy ultra-strategically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The e-services factor is client-focused. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be global or to be affiliate-based? We frequently envisioneer holistic systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Without subscriber communities, you will lack applications. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We frequently engineer clicks-and-mortar performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without 60/60/24/7/365, extensible data hygiene, you will lack performance. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to expedite. If you architect nano-mega-wirelessly, you may have to evolve wirelessly. Think B2B. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B short-term, social-network-based, next-generation re-sizing. Without revolutionary ubiquitous, turn-key cyber-mega-ubiquitous data hygiene, you will lack e-business social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We always empower C2B2B extensible B2C project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be vertical? We will exploit the ability of vertical micro-open-source Total Quality Management to optimize. We will increase our aptitude to incubate without reducing our capability to transform. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think robust. Think social-network-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. The ability to innovate globally leads to the capability to leverage dynamically. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT.