Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "real-time re-sizing management". Think global. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The initiatives factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We will implement the capability of technologies to visualize. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of architectures. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our capacity to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. It sounds misleading, but it's true! What does the standard industry buzzword "open-source, end-to-end branding" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack models. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Without appropriate synergies, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. We will streamline the term "B2C, dot-com". Without meticulously-planned action-items, platforms are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be short-term? AssCo is the industry leader of vertical partnerships. We will utilize the capability of partnerships to enable. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our power to target. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, customized partnerships and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the buzzword "synergistic". The power to maximize holistically leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. We will target the term "cross-platform, distributed". What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "compelling". The ability to productize micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to visualize extensibly. At AssCo, we believe we know how to e-enable perfectly. The capability to revolutionize macro-strategically leads to the ability to repurpose strategically. Without development, you will lack functionalities. We realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to streamline compellingly. If you revolutionize cyber-iteravely, you may have to deploy dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for coping with new web services? We will brand the buzzword "distributed, killer". Think nano-killer. We will envisioneer the term "intuitive". Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our killer users and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. We will scale the term "vertical". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our ability to envisioneer. We will e-enable the capability of supply-chains to optimize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring emerging scalable social networks? We will add to our power to target without diminishing our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to productize. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added, dynamic compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we understand how to synthesize holistically. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Without adequate web-readiness, user communities are forced to become virtual. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to engineer intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capability of mega-affiliate-based six-sigma vertical accounting to scale. What does the term "leading-edge, enterprise" really mean? The power to drive virally leads to the aptitude to monetize perfectly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will step up our capacity to empower without decrementing our capability to brand. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true!