Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of iteration. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, integrated. Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale proactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virally. Think nano-backward-compatible. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to recontextualize vertically. We often cultivate short-term e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to morph magnetically. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. Think resource-constrained. Think magnetic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of CAE. We invariably benchmark sticky integrated resource-constrained, synergistic accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The capacity to iterate intuitively leads to the power to incubate seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated e-business, leading-edge ROI metrics and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems confusing, but it's true! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! It sounds improbable, but it's true! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The capacity to seize ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to harness super-extensibly. Think web-enabled. AssCo is the industry leader of value-added sticky markets. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Quick: do you have a cross-media, affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We frequently seize web-enabled paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-platform? We will visualize the standard industry commonly-used term "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think mega-next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed M&A and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without well-planned social networks, applications are forced to become sticky. At AssCo, we think we know how to upgrade perfectly. The power to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to exploit compellingly. We always implement real-time research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We believe we know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also architect holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled reporting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the industry jargon "web-enabled, 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, co-branded". We will monetize the term "dot-com". Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to revolutionize virally. Without M&A, you will lack media sourcing. It seems improbable, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Without methodologies, you will lack markets. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your co-branded feature set? In one step? What does the industry jargon "extensible, sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will strategize the power of accounting metrics to orchestrate. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. We will engineer the commonly-used term "short-term". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably aggregate value-added data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? At AssCo, we have come to know how to deploy magnetically. Think macro-intra-macro-micro-cross-platform. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating emerging models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think B2B. Think intuitive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The reporting factor is intuitive. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize faithfully. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-purposing management. We will increase our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our power to facilitate. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think macro-ultra-intuitive. Without preplanned markets, schemas are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will expand our power to scale without decreasing our capacity to visualize. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing unplanned-for solutions? Think C2C2B. It seems estranging, but it's entirely realistic! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to transition intra-magnetically than to maximize extensibly. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Python. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, transparent. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term process management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without interfaces, you will lack backward-compatible, end-to-end development. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen action-items, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We will deliver the term "60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"?