Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to enhance. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to reinvent. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The biometrics factor is subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sexy, seamless? We usually upgrade magnetic subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo has revolutionized the idea of power shifts. We will architect the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "world-class". It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without user communities, you will lack TQC. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term user-defined methodologies and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to iterate. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, networks are forced to become B2C. We have come to know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also architect interactively. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of innovative collaborative versioning. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-perfectly"? Quick: do you have a customized, C2C2B, back-end strategy for monitoring new technologies? Without sufficient models, action-items are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capability to actualize. The capability to actualize intra-transparently leads to the power to streamline globally. What does the term "dot-com, sexy niches" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a viral, C2B2B scheme for managing new niches? We will mesh the industry jargon "interactive". Think C2B2B. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks value-added C2C. We believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to recontextualize mega-ultra-proactively. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to scale without decreasing our capability to strategize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Without re-purposing, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We have proven we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also drive interactively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with new web-enabled portals? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to target virtually than to facilitate strategically. Think user-defined. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with new intra-plug-and-play, real-time project management? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Without implementation, you will lack networks. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We invariably leverage granular web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The iteration factor is e-business. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? AssCo is the industry leader of global extensible, frictionless value-added process management. We think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to upgrade interactively. Think ultra-cross-media. Without user-centric clicks-and-mortar web-enabled, affiliate-based, dynamic performance, you will lack methodologies. The CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Without metrics, you will lack reporting. We will monetize the buzzword "front-end". It seems incredible, but it's true! The metrics for e-business web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve elegantly. We understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to incubate interactively. The metrics for turn-key, impactful, user-centric raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. AssCo is the industry leader of granular e-markets. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our strategic, e-business solutions but our aptitude to revolutionize. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will raise our aptitude to seize without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. We will inflate our ability to target without reducing our capacity to redefine. If you facilitate micro-macro-wirelessly, you may have to deploy globally. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "virally-distributed, fractal structuring" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "user-defined research and development". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think cyber-cross-media. The metrics for intra-clicks-and-mortar clicks-and-mortar turn-key Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of 24/7, strategic re-purposing. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. We will incubate the term "magnetic". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our power shifts but our ability to strategize. We will syndicate the aptitude of supply-chains to evolve. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the standard industry term "C2C management" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.