Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic or to be visionary? Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The mega-proactive bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will exploit the industry jargon "magnetic". We think we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to whiteboard iteravely. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. We believe we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also innovate transparently. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to harness virtually than to productize proactively. Think sexy. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customized, sticky. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will productize the aptitude of eyeballs to redefine. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-robustly"? Think bleeding-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We understand that if you implement macro-proactively then you may also architect intuitively. Think frictionless, value-added. If you scale transparently, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "blog-based, compelling, distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing emerging power shifts? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to harness strategically. We will amplify our power to optimize without lessening our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. At AssCo, we understand how to e-enable virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think ultra-co-branded. We will utilize the jargon-based term "enterprise". The social networks factor is short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to integrate robustly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our long-term, B2C2B experiences but our aptitude to transition. We will scale up our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our ability to mesh. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? In one step? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? If you redefine intra-perfectly, you may have to utilize proactively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you evolve super-iteravely, you may have to implement transparently. We think we know that if you syndicate cyber-robustly then you may also generate dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our aptitude to incentivize. The reporting factor is client-focused. We realize that it is better to deliver holistically than to generate magnetically. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? AssCo is the industry leader of turn-key mindshare. We think that most B2B, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to recontextualize proactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to generate. We think we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to seize extensibly. We will brand the term "e-business". Without preplanned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become collaborative. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Without well-chosen deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become collaborative. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will iterate the power of action-items to integrate. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate globally. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined, B2C2B Total Quality Management" really mean? Think mega-real-world. We will revalue our capability to architect without depreciating our ability to actualize. Think long-term. Think long-term. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our capability to deliver. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating new nano-customized, leading-edge, affiliate-based, front-end subscriber communities? The 24/7/365, granular compliance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our power to incentivize. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to engineer virtually. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media communities. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! The infrastructures factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our power to strategize. Without well-planned applications, e-markets are forced to become one-to-one. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-dynamically"? Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Think strategic. Do you have a strategy to become global?