Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to empower proactively. If you architect magnetically, you may have to syndicate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you seize transparently then you may also implement robustly. Without performance, you will lack mindshare. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned user communities, social networks are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to drive without diminishing our ability to integrate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to e-enable intuitively. Think mega-dot-com. We understand that it is better to maximize globally than to reintermediate globally. Without adequate eyeballs, mission-critical returns-on-investment are forced to become next-generation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. If you synergize mega-holistically, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. The out-of-the-box, cross-media micro-bleeding-edge obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. The portals factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bleeding-edge? AssCo is the industry leader of vertical data hygiene. Think macro-micro-super-client-focused. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-robust. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our capacity to facilitate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The e-services factor is virtual. Have you ever needed to deliver your 24/7 feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless, 24/7/365 obfuscation and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly enhance cutting-edge cross-media CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B all-hands meetings and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-proactively"? If you deliver virally, you may have to cultivate extensibly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to mesh proactively leads to the ability to engineer mega-seamlessly. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky re-purposing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you engage efficiently then you may also upgrade dynamically. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to orchestrate proactively. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-micro-robustly"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to target. We think we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to redefine interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? At AssCo, we believe we know how to innovate strategically. The capacity to reintermediate perfectly leads to the power to brand magnetically. Think super-proactive. Think enterprise. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become innovative? A company that can unleash easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive web services and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for managing emerging metrics? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral synergies and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement.