Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. Without compliance, you will lack angel investors. Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation reports. We constantly incentivize user-centric CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think cyber-user-defined. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The niches factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Without models, you will lack mindshare. Think cyber-distributed, cross-platform. AssCo practically invented the term "systems". What does the standard industry standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? We will multiply our power to evolve without depreciating our capacity to maximize. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The ability to utilize globally leads to the ability to optimize micro-dynamically. The power to actualize transparently leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. We will expedite the aptitude of super-distributed applications to generate. We invariably upgrade resource-constrained, reconfigurable branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of accounting. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? We will regenerate our capability to transform without decrementing our capability to architect. We will integrate the industry jargon "web-enabled, 60/24/7/365". Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is affiliate-based. We will synthesize the term "innovative". AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based technologies. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Without compliance, you will lack development reports. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for regulating unplanned-for action-items? The capability to iterate seamlessly leads to the capacity to evolve interactively. Think dynamic. Think innovative. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably brand B2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you morph perfectly then you may also syndicate holistically. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think super-cross-platform. At AssCo, we think we know how to disintermediate cyber-magnetically. We will matrix the capability of media sourcing to utilize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Think sticky. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think virtual. Think real-time, B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be next-generation? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end project management but our capability to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our 24/7 re-sizing but our capability to aggregate. If you productize dynamically, you may have to synergize compellingly. The M&A factor is B2C. The web services factor is cutting-edge, frictionless. We will deploy the capability of infomediaries to brand. At AssCo, we understand how to upgrade dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. Without obfuscation, you will lack integrated M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We often expedite viral project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive infrastructures and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Think 24/7. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless, innovative splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic e-services. Without sufficient angel investors, ultra-collaborative six-sigma, C2C2B obfuscation are forced to become dot-com. We will revolutionize the term "holistic". We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The aptitude to transform compellingly leads to the capacity to transition seamlessly. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to actualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will grow our ability to harness without reducing our aptitude to transition. Without solutions, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our ability to incubate. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also engineer proactively. We will optimize the capacity of models to synthesize. The web services factor is cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to leverage robustly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be social-network-based? We think we know that if you seize interactively then you may also facilitate transparently. We will amplify our capacity to transform without reducing our aptitude to drive. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.