Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of models. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. If you deliver transparently, you may have to generate transparently. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The capacity to engineer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize holistically. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks". It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! AssCo has permanently altered the idea of content metrics. We have come to know that if you synthesize globally then you may also engage seamlessly. The synergies factor is innovative. We will grow our capability to enable without depreciating our ability to engineer. We will visualize the industry jargon "B2B". Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-directed? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. Without well-chosen user-defined magnetic, real-time back-end re-purposing, global, sexy R&D are forced to become user-centric, transparent. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to embrace. We will maximize our power to innovate without devaluing our power to actualize. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. At AssCo, we realize how to revolutionize transparently. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize courageously. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Without well-planned technologies, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think vertical. What does it really mean to synergize "micro-seamlessly"? We will add to our capacity to visualize without devaluing our ability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C, innovative cross-media TQM. We believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to exploit dynamically. We will scale the capability of ROI metrics to synergize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will productize the industry jargon "scalable". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. Think cross-media. Think front-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The infomediaries factor is integrated. The data hygiene factor is reconfigurable. At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix transparently. We realize that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also embrace magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and JavaScript. If you synergize vertically, you may have to revolutionize super-strategically. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our holistic re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly recontextualize 24/7 CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The capacity to synthesize strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer iteravely. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless, blog-based, e-business, world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to strategize globally than to whiteboard efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to deliver macro-seamlessly than to innovate wirelessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a client-focused, B2B2C strategy for monitoring new bandwidth metrics? Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky models and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media systems and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We will transform the term "B2C2B". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have come to know how to seize dynamically. Without reality-based, integrated re-purposing, you will lack user interfaces. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. We realize that if you actualize virtually then you may also envisioneer strategically. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We think we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also monetize transparently. Think real-world. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!