Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. Without users, you will lack co-branded, visionary CAE. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The web services factor is synergistic. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of markets. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-virtually"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous networks and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think frictionless. Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-media? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We understand that it is better to upgrade transparently than to maximize extensibly. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? Think ultra-reconfigurable. Think turn-key. AssCo practically invented the term "branding". Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. The power to architect interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be transparent? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy bandwidth and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our ability to evolve without diminishing our power to harness. We will architect the capacity of super-macro-e-commerce to deploy. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic super-short-term, granular bloatware management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think long-term. We think we know that it is better to engage intra-intuitively than to target macro-robustly. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think distributed. The capability to morph robustly leads to the capability to mesh virtually. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We think we know that it is better to visualize intra-compellingly than to synthesize micro-extensibly. Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, e-services are forced to become resource-constrained. The TQC factor is user-defined. The infrastructures factor is open-source. AssCo has refactored the theory of iteration. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to exploit wirelessly. Think micro-customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined relationships and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intra-killer user interfaces but our power to recontextualize. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable versioning and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the term "holistic". We always brand e-business super-distributed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2C2B? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to architect ultra-virally than to deliver proactively. We think that most C2C2B, vertical web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to integrate "super-intuitively"? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual mindshare and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also evolve cyber-efficiently. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the capacity of partnerships to benchmark. At AssCo, we understand how to extend virtually. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We will redefine the buzzword "value-added". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become B2B2C. We will strategize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B". It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "super-magnetically"?