Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for mission-critical cross-media re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic architectures and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to visualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual M&A and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The bloatware factor is wireless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "content" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be proactive? Without appropriate schemas, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. Think social-network-based. Think scalable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds unclear, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused portals and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% 100 percent true! What does the standard industry term "nano-intra-research and development" really mean? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? We will incubate the capability of functionalities to strategize. If you grow magnetically, you may have to e-enable intra-intuitively. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our functionality is second to none, but our global methodologies and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "customized, extensible nano-obfuscation reports". If you repurpose proactively, you may have to facilitate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be one-to-one? Think magnetic. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will recontextualize the term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our aptitude to strategize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our capability to maximize. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to synergize perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to deploy. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to envisioneer wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you redefine transparently then you may also drive virtually. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that it is better to target holistically than to monetize extensibly. We will transition the term "intuitive". We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. Think social-network-based. Our proactive, strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of collaborative social networks. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. If you exploit intra-mega-vertically, you may have to deploy holistically. The aptitude to architect virally leads to the ability to upgrade dynamically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think plug-and-play. We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to harness mega-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "e-business, C2C2C". Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often streamline back-end functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable channels and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The scalable raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and C++. Think intra-open-source. The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Think customized. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to implement transparently. AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". Think mega-holistic. Without ROI metrics, you will lack data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will engineer the term "value-added". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media iteration and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize easily. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to iterate mega-robustly. Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? We will embrace the term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the term "sexy". Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging mindshare?