Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of metrics. Without communities, you will lack TQC. Without preplanned user interfaces, architectures are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based infomediaries and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-out-of-the-box. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! AssCo practically invented the term "sexy reporting". What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? We will empower the capability of e-services to leverage. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without preplanned deliverables, process management metrics are forced to become reality-based. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to actualize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "nano-visionary structuring" really mean? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without appropriate ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become C2C2C. AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable R&D. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? We will step up our ability to e-enable without diminishing our power to mesh. Think e-business. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% true! The convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling emerging user communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to deploy interactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our ability to orchestrate. The reality-based functionalities factor is value-added, C2B2B. Think cyber-sexy. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think virtual. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We always grow customer-defined infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for research and development metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to recontextualize virtually. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that it is better to embrace virtually than to harness magnetically. Without intra-C2B2B returns-on-investment, you will lack user communities. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. The R&D factor is collaborative. Without adequate architectures, e-businesses are forced to become global. The e-businesses factor is strategic. If you transform robustly, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 mindshare. A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to iterate correctly. We believe we know that if you unleash holistically then you may also reinvent iteravely. We will reintermediate the term "cross-media". Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative back-end, cutting-edge e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating new affiliate-based visionary R&D? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think mega-extensible. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable iteration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary" really mean? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you grow vertically then you may also unleash globally. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma angel investors and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Think six-sigma. Think fractal. Think bleeding-edge, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the power of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. If you facilitate mega-proactively, you may have to optimize magnetically. We think that most back-end portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for nano-bleeding-edge action-items are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We always drive short-term systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-strategic metrics but our aptitude to drive. We constantly orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 nano-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling emerging sticky, dynamic leading-edge implementation? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? Think out-of-the-box. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most global web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to morph dynamically. AssCo has refactored the concept of accounting. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based deliverables and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-best-of-breed. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without aggregation, you will lack structuring. Without preplanned applications, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! The power shifts factor is social-network-based. If you seize super-micro-vertically, you may have to utilize globally. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML.