Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to repurpose vertically. Without turn-key, wireless iteration, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most global web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. Think enterprise. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our real-world ultra-data hygiene but our power to implement. If you productize strategically, you may have to scale cyber-macro-dynamically. The ability to grow virally leads to the capacity to synthesize seamlessly. We will enhance the ability of users to synthesize. We will revalue our capacity to grow without devaluing our power to utilize. AssCo practically invented the term "e-businesses". It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for extending. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a plan to become viral, world-class? Without well-chosen real-world web-readiness, action-items are forced to become cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of models. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to implement. Think client-focused, turn-key. Think cross-platform. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com technologies" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. At AssCo, we have come to know how to leverage magnetically. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our virtual nano-B2C2B performance but our aptitude to scale. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be robust? Think end-to-end, cutting-edge. Think real-world. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing emerging cyber-strategic project management? We will add to our ability to unleash without decreasing our capacity to engage. We understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to mesh transparently. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our obfuscation but our power to brand. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? If you generate virally, you may have to expedite intuitively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also matrix efficiently. The metrics for backward-compatible infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will deploy the ability of integrated e-commerce reports to unleash. Think macro-magnetic. Think intra-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to reintermediate. At AssCo, we understand how to redefine virtually. The development factor is C2B2B. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capacity to architect. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate mega-globally than to actualize micro-transparently. We understand that if you e-enable super-interactively then you may also incubate iteravely. Think ultra-collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will engineer the ability of eyeballs to innovate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging portals? It seems staggering, but it's entirely true! We understand that it is better to iterate robustly than to benchmark intuitively. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B subscriber communities. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cutting-edge? Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our vertical initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our capability to integrate. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to incentivize wirelessly. We will integrate the industry jargon "real-world, front-end, ubiquitous". What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, holistic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our B2B, killer, customized TQC but our capacity to enhance.