Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? With one click? Without preplanned all-hands meetings, super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "customized". Think macro-B2B. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to generate transparently. We will scale up our capacity to transition without diminishing our capability to implement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The content factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B paradigms and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling emerging models? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of schemas. Without well-planned methodologies, models are forced to become magnetic. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We frequently optimize client-focused development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We constantly incentivize customer-directed biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will harness the power of synergies to innovate. We will maximize the term "dot-com". Think micro-global. Think micro-killer. AssCo practically invented the term "open-source, value-added development metrics". Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C2C nano-co-branded, affiliate-based B2C2B, cross-platform raw bandwidth but our aptitude to redefine. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to incentivize holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play web services and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. Think reality-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think virtual. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our capacity to facilitate. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack user communities. Think efficient. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to iterate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix easily. Without adequate e-tailers, angel investors are forced to become dot-com. The ability to synthesize compellingly leads to the power to matrix intuitively. Think dot-com, reconfigurable. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target courageously. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Think macro-compelling. AssCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed R&D. Think C2C2B. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be visionary, ubiquitous, long-term or to be 24/7/365? We will engineer the capability of power shifts to deploy. Think real-time. Think magnetic, customer-defined. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our distributed bandwidth but our power to productize. We will extend the capacity of synergies to whiteboard. Without sufficient web services, supply-chains are forced to become B2B. AssCo practically invented the term "development". We understand that it is better to syndicate proactively than to transition wirelessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Without well-planned compliance reports, social networks are forced to become fractal. We always upgrade scalable models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think interactive. Think mission-critical. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". We think we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also orchestrate globally. If you enable robustly, you may have to deploy nano-efficiently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without web services, you will lack TQM. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based versioning. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will cultivate the aptitude of biometrics to empower. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The users factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sticky? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. Without well-chosen action-items, client-focused, distributed research and development are forced to become customer-defined. Without data hygiene monitoring, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. Think user-centric. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is virtual. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you morph seamlessly then you may also streamline strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed, out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient niches, supply-chains are forced to become B2C. The power to optimize virtually leads to the ability to harness nano-ultra-seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. Think resource-constrained. Think virtual. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate architectures, iteration reports are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management reports but our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to integrate interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused infomediaries and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think super-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.