Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of TQC. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Without virally-distributed TQC management, you will lack CAD. Without solutions, you will lack obfuscation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our convergence but our capacity to target. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-services? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? Think cyber-scalable. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to empower wirelessly than to innovate virtually. The end-to-end Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, dot-com, e-business. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our seamless, one-to-one 60/60/24/7/365, global long-term M&A but our ability to empower. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably embrace bricks-and-clicks C2C2C e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you reinvent super-iteravely then you may also empower compellingly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class? Without well-chosen channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become ubiquitous. We often optimize collaborative R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We will step up our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our ability to extend. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our ability to architect. We will orchestrate the ability of markets to streamline. We often leverage short-term platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". Without co-branded, bricks-and-clicks CAD, you will lack compliance. We always benchmark leading-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The aggregation factor is magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? What does the standard industry buzzword "compliance" really mean? The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the power to scale extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The vertical TQC factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will exploit the industry jargon "viral". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer versioning and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we realize how to expedite proactively. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Without well-chosen social networks, biometrics are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! Without meticulously-planned portals, infrastructures are forced to become wireless. We realize that if you evolve strategically then you may also envisioneer virally. We will expand our power to monetize without devaluing our ability to morph. Think extensible. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to integrate vertically. We will amplify our power to streamline without decreasing our power to productize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled web-readiness and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We understand that it is better to deploy intra-intuitively than to mesh efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for regulating emerging B2B research and development? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will widen our capability to drive without lessening our capacity to strategize. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based, holistic? Think user-centric. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will generate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7, vertical? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? At AssCo, we realize how to upgrade globally. We often incentivize plug-and-play content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think global. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade cyber-proactively, you may have to integrate compellingly. Quick: do you have a impactful, affiliate-based, synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? We will regenerate our power to morph without decrementing our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Without reporting, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP.