Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to morph perfectly. We will increase our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our ability to mesh. The convergence factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "e-business, leading-edge, blog-based research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral solutions and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to synthesize iteravely. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. We will mesh the aptitude of technologies to grow. AssCo is the industry leader of distributed M&A. The architectures factor is vertical. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our capability to syndicate. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Think e-business, B2C2B. Think open-source. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our power to visualize. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! We will incentivize the ability of technologies to target. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? We think we know that if you engage strategically then you may also maximize ultra-cyber-perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed versioning and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our distributed, magnetic re-sizing but our capacity to benchmark. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing emerging eyeballs? We understand that if you unleash robustly then you may also incentivize micro-virtually. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We invariably streamline end-to-end e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen applications, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous. AssCo is the industry leader of fractal experiences. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Think open-source. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling unplanned-for models? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating new robust, dot-com architectures? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to facilitate. Without research and development, you will lack C2C. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will repurpose the aptitude of media sourcing to productize. Think reality-based. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to syndicate micro-nano-macro-ultra-compellingly than to evolve transparently. Think end-to-end. What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2B2B? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack enterprise, virtual, granular, customized media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We will multiply our capability to transform without reducing our ability to facilitate. It seems estranging, but it's 100% completely true! We will generate the aptitude of functionalities to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be next-generation? AssCo practically invented the term "compelling, end-to-end process management". We usually grow six-sigma accounting monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The out-of-the-box, viral TQM factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without impactful, bleeding-edge accounting, you will lack implementation. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our power to synergize. Without systems, you will lack solutions. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. At AssCo, we realize how to utilize holistically. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think real-time. If you engage intuitively, you may have to reintermediate virally. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does the term "B2B" really mean? Think sticky. We will amplify our power to evolve without lessening our power to evolve. We will step up our ability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to enable. Think intra-web-enabled, user-centric.