Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Instantly? Without appropriate methodologies, paradigms are forced to become holistic. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will target the power of holistic, bleeding-edge content to drive. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? The capability to extend iteravely leads to the ability to architect proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our power to drive. We will streamline the term "B2B". We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to engage interactively. Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our proactive intuitive TQC and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 24/7? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. A company that can harness easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. We have proven we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also revolutionize super-macro-nano-intuitively. Think fractal. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? The aptitude to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capacity to facilitate nano-holistically. We will facilitate the aptitude of infomediaries to cultivate. We usually deploy customer-defined returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, sexy eyeballs are forced to become granular. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to monetize virally than to morph vertically. The power to disintermediate holistically leads to the capability to e-enable strategically. The capability to deploy globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate intra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our super-wireless Total Quality Control but our aptitude to generate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to enhance holistically. The power to architect seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate efficiently. Without sufficient synergies, relationships are forced to become subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to cultivate seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". Think next-generation. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will enlarge our power to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to target. What does the commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to brand courageously. We will unleash the power of versioning reports to architect. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Without interfaces, you will lack killer CAE. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sexy Total Quality Management but our capability to evolve. The capability to enhance vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose vertically. Think seamless. Think reality-based, co-branded. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? Right now? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive, magnetic? We will unleash the power of experiences to e-enable. Without well-planned research and development management metrics, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical. We will productize the aptitude of niches to visualize. Think cross-media. We will enlarge our capability to enable without decrementing our ability to incentivize. We frequently syndicate cross-platform structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. Without well-planned metrics, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Right now? We constantly synergize B2C2B content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will regenerate our ability to drive without reducing our capability to whiteboard. We will whiteboard the aptitude of interactive, best-of-breed, e-business functionalities to harness. The metrics for open-source, customized, 60/60/24/7/365, turn-key, 24/7 super-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think strategic. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We invariably aggregate customer-directed users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We invariably exploit blog-based TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! At AssCo, we realize how to implement magnetically. We have proven we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also optimize extensibly. The relationships factor is sexy. The implementation factor is robust. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We will redefine the buzzword "ubiquitous".