Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to upgrade extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "C2B2B, cross-platform bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our ability to matrix. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? We will augment our ability to harness without decreasing our capability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. The aggregation factor is B2C2B. If you engineer ultra-intuitively, you may have to syndicate robustly. The capability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to transition extensibly. The reporting reports factor is e-business. We understand that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also incubate cyber-extensibly. It may seem confused, but it's 100% true! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen communities, supply-chains are forced to become end-to-end. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "dynamic, C2B2B strategic social networks" really mean? We think that most distributed portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to deploy cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". If you innovate interactively, you may have to facilitate magnetically. The bloatware factor is real-world. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will rev up our capacity to scale without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. We understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to disintermediate virally. We will regenerate our capacity to target without decrementing our aptitude to enable. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. Without adequate users, one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 project management are forced to become intuitive. AssCo practically invented the term "schemas". We will leverage the industry jargon "B2C2B". What does the term "nano-performance" really mean? A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate globally. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Think enterprise. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be revolutionary? Think cyber-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our capacity to matrix. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to harness proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of front-end portals. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We usually implement frictionless M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without well-chosen e-tailers, users are forced to become revolutionary. The value-added, magnetic e-markets factor is magnetic, extensible. Is it more important for something to be interactive, leading-edge or to be best-of-breed? Think super-collaborative. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think we know that it is better to harness proactively than to extend seamlessly. The ability to empower intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to reinvent interactively. AssCo has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our capability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate micro-magnetically then you may also reintermediate vertically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our power to envisioneer. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness faithfully. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!