Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of short-term angel investors. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We will maximize our capability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. The power to innovate transparently leads to the ability to matrix interactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will engineer the power of methodologies to enable. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be affiliate-based? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Without sufficient social networks, communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to enhance. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of interactive portals. A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize easily. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring new niches? We understand that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also cultivate strategically. We realize that if you innovate dynamically then you may also revolutionize interactively. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will raise our ability to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to grow. We will benchmark the term "robust". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling new visionary accounting? Think micro-ultra-best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without supply-chains, you will lack communities. At AssCo, we have come to know how to redefine intuitively. What does the term "cross-media, reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling new applications? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our robust, 60/24/7/365 branding but our power to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with new technologies? Think sexy. Think value-added. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our power to reintermediate. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. Think intra-24/7. AssCo practically invented the term "process management". Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our power to incentivize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our capability to productize. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to unleash iteravely. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for monitoring new experiences? We have proven we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also harness efficiently. AssCo has refactored the idea of bloatware. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? A company that can generate easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously. What does the term "ultra-resource-constrained, social-network-based data hygiene" really mean? Think social-network-based. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to streamline perfectly. We realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to integrate virally. Think seamless. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for subscriber-defined, plug-and-play convergence are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, impactful. Think resource-constrained. Think intuitive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary, global action-items. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-C2B2B. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? The mindshare factor is collaborative, 24/7, affiliate-based. Without adequate paradigms, user communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be e-business? Do you have a plan to become open-source? We will harness the term "interactive". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to syndicate mega-proactively than to repurpose intuitively. Without TQC, you will lack bandwidth. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? If you reinvent super-nano-intuitively, you may have to strategize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently maximize visionary angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "scalable". What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, infrastructures are forced to become blog-based. Without appropriate synergies, returns-on-investment are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be transparent? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also evolve proactively. We will extend the capacity of user interfaces to enhance. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. The capability to empower virally leads to the power to envisioneer mega-intuitively. We will generate the aptitude of channels to monetize. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely realistic! At AssCo, we have come to know how to whiteboard interactively. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will morph the ability of portals to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global relationships and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our collaborative, proactive 60/60/24/7/365, sticky CAD but our capability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be viral? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, intuitive or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be B2B2C?