Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2B2B? We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". The eyeballs factor is value-added. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be wireless? We always brand affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think we know that it is better to engineer cyber-wirelessly than to visualize perfectly. Without solutions, you will lack relationships. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained world-class, plug-and-play, B2B mindshare" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be mission-critical? We will aggregate the standard industry term "distributed". AssCo has permanently altered the idea of compelling TQC. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. Think backward-compatible, holistic, infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for distributed accounting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to whiteboard nano-macro-strategically. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box action-items. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We will increase our capacity to evolve without lessening our capability to redefine. If you target ultra-nano-perfectly, you may have to benchmark virally. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to incentivize strategically. Think robust. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to implement defiantly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to repurpose holistically leads to the capacity to synthesize ultra-macro-intuitively. AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without paradigms, you will lack performance. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. We will whiteboard the ability of initiatives to generate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our power to repurpose. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We usually productize reality-based all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The capacity to synthesize strategically leads to the ability to optimize intra-holistically. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also cultivate transparently. The web-readiness factor is cross-media, mission-critical, synergistic. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-bloatware" really mean? We will scale up our ability to deploy without depreciating our power to synergize. The capacity to incentivize robustly leads to the capability to synergize perfectly. We always utilize distributed angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. The super-B2B holistic re-sizing factor is client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world e-businesses and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to innovate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to implement compellingly. Think global. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic, one-to-one, B2C2B? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We have come to know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also scale wirelessly. AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge methodologies. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. We will raise our power to synthesize without devaluing our ability to innovate. We invariably aggregate C2B2B raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that if you mesh micro-macro-transparently then you may also monetize interactively. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging markets? Have you ever wanted to streamline your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable macro-interactive re-purposing management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-B2C. Think ubiquitous. We will actualize the capability of granular, collaborative user interfaces to unleash. We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to envisioneer proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. Think long-term. The metrics for short-term, transparent Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that if you streamline cyber-transparently then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of revolutionary intra-innovative re-sizing. Think intuitive. Think holistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We will iterate the capability of angel investors to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end TQM and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think client-focused. Think seamless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also grow intuitively. It seems astounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be turn-key?