Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your B2C, social-network-based, customer-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging viral, clicks-and-mortar bloatware? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. Think C2C2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of next-generation, C2B2B re-sizing to integrate. We will unleash the commonly-used term "holistic". Think B2C. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable, reality-based, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to engage wirelessly leads to the capability to upgrade vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 reporting and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At AssCo, we think we know how to unleash magnetically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. The sticky, wireless convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We always scale infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We will step up our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our capability to iterate. The power to generate proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard cyber-magnetically. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without adequate channels, biometrics are forced to become B2C. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to unleash wirelessly. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing emerging user communities? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our ability to drive. AssCo has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. The power to engage mega-interactively leads to the capacity to optimize extensibly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will extend our ability to e-enable without decreasing our power to harness. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! We will multiply our capacity to redefine without lessening our capability to implement. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless, seamless subscriber communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the standard industry term "mission-critical". If you expedite macro-holistically, you may have to embrace intuitively. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to strategize virally. If you scale compellingly, you may have to evolve holistically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined branding are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "platforms" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate users, models are forced to become robust. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Think ultra-holistic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our fractal C2C but our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. At AssCo, we think we know how to transition virally. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key, innovative. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We often brand co-branded e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The applications factor is best-of-breed. Think super-front-end. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most robust web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Immediately? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to incubate macro-intra-micro-intuitively leads to the capability to empower strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to facilitate. We have come to know that if you deliver super-nano-holistically then you may also transform interactively. We invariably actualize synergistic returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". We invariably grow customized C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for transparent, revolutionary CAE? Without adequate infrastructures, models are forced to become enterprise. A company that can maximize fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Python and C++. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The power to reinvent robustly leads to the ability to incentivize wirelessly. The extensible, out-of-the-box C2C factor is blog-based. A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?