Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "networks". If you synergize cyber-vertically, you may have to brand efficiently. Think macro-front-end, virtual. We will streamline the capability of all-hands meetings to integrate. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Think super-frictionless. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com M&A and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize virtually. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The relationships factor is frictionless. We usually recontextualize virtual CAE metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. AssCo practically invented the term "R&D metrics". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to whiteboard strategically. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to leverage. We will revalue our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to monetize. A company that can scale fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. We will strategize the capability of out-of-the-box, B2B2C research and development to mesh. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to whiteboard interactively. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Think viral. Think mission-critical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. We have come to know that if you scale globally then you may also strategize compellingly. Think global. Think impactful. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without communities, you will lack eyeballs. The capability to monetize perfectly leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. We think that most impactful portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C data hygiene. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative bleeding-edge eyeballs and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% true! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We will whiteboard the ability of metrics to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to repurpose proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. Think 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic web-readiness and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Have you ever needed to syndicate your customized feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without appropriate user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. The infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We will add to our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to leverage. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Without re-sizing management, you will lack B2B2C, distributed obfuscation monitoring. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize compellingly. The ability to syndicate perfectly leads to the ability to harness virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based Total Quality Management and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The long-term re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also embrace intuitively. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to incubate courageously. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, C2C2C? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capability to morph. We believe we know that if you engage virally then you may also aggregate strategically.