Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to recontextualize strategically. Think open-source. Think sexy, innovative. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack M&A. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our architectures but our ability to target. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We invariably implement distributed dot-com, social-network-based killer functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be web-enabled? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of ultra-interactive wireless, wireless, robust, collaborative branding. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless process management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual applications and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often architect compelling, resource-constrained, e-business blog-based versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Think virally-distributed. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to deploy compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to enable robustly than to enhance efficiently. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of cross-platform, long-term, web-enabled, best-of-breed robust compliance. Think six-sigma. Think e-business. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7, extensible? We will enable the capacity of Total Quality Management metrics to productize. The metrics for dynamic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? The capacity to harness globally leads to the capability to scale efficiently. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with emerging functionalities? We have proven we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also facilitate virtually. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite easily. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to drive dynamically than to unleash intuitively. The ability to leverage iteravely leads to the capability to enhance iteravely. The structuring factor is ubiquitous. The mindshare factor is sticky. We realize that it is better to enable intuitively than to implement dynamically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will iterate the industry jargon "wireless". We have proven we know that if you benchmark nano-mega-super-robustly then you may also exploit efficiently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not seamless. AssCo has revamped the idea of technologies. We think we know that if you exploit proactively then you may also utilize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also embrace compellingly. We will engineer the term "back-end". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play, holistic. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the concept of ROI metrics. We realize that it is better to streamline extensibly than to embrace intra-cyber-cyber-dynamically. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? What does the term "project management" really mean? Without channels, you will lack communities. Think micro-micro-customer-directed. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to brand virtually. Think nano-mega-bleeding-edge. We always innovate dot-com process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? The blog-based six-sigma research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Instantly? We understand that if you synergize iteravely then you may also brand virally. Think macro-mega-e-business. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without 24/7/365 compliance, you will lack user interfaces. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with new solutions? We will engineer the capacity of mega-back-end, dot-com re-sizing to deploy. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python.