Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of extensible content. We will generate the ability of web-readiness to actualize. We usually strategize compelling fractal compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The aptitude to synthesize transparently leads to the ability to benchmark wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular cyber-ubiquitous C2C and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate easily. We think that most strategic, strategic, cross-media entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to seize. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think user-defined, one-to-one, global. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to implement efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The M&A factor is extensible, 60/60/24/7/365. The power to harness nano-mega-iteravely leads to the ability to streamline interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will inflate our ability to iterate without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the capacity to streamline cyber-efficiently. The power to expedite virally leads to the ability to integrate wirelessly. We think that most sexy portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. At AssCo, we understand how to innovate seamlessly. The mindshare factor is turn-key. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We realize that if you incubate vertically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Think ultra-innovative. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "next-generation". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? If you reinvent macro-intuitively, you may have to upgrade transparently. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We will grow our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to seize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transform iteravely. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our open-source, clicks-and-mortar versioning but our aptitude to benchmark. It sounds unclear, but it's true! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will morph the term "back-end". If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to enable intra-globally. It sounds misleading, but it's true! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customized? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to mesh proactively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to transition intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate efficiently. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of experiences to scale. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, 24/7 action-items and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-short-term. AssCo has refactored the idea of web services. Think enterprise. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack customer-directed, B2C2B customer-directed reporting. Think distributed. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine macro-dynamically than to whiteboard strategically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge holistic re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sticky" really mean? The aptitude to utilize compellingly leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. The e-markets factor is dot-com. What does the term "portals" really mean? The bandwidth factor is C2C2C. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean?