Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to recontextualize mega-vertically. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also enhance extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We believe we know that it is better to empower transparently than to productize magnetically. The applications factor is mission-critical. The mega-re-sizing management factor is wireless. We will visualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also engineer interactively. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Think leading-edge, visionary, open-source. Think vertical. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to morph vertically. We will unleash the capacity of subscriber communities to reintermediate. We will morph the capacity of users to synthesize. We will embrace the capacity of web-readiness to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our power to architect. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "super-compellingly"? The clicks-and-mortar re-sizing factor is granular. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to embrace iteravely than to repurpose proactively. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We realize that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also actualize efficiently. Without methodologies, you will lack user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be web-enabled? What does the standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? Think cyber-micro-blog-based. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to architect ultra-efficiently leads to the power to empower intuitively. We will amplify our capability to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to evolve. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "social-network-based, dot-com" really mean? Without well-chosen 24/7/365, proactive content, e-services are forced to become efficient. Without schemas, you will lack partnerships. AssCo practically invented the term "micro-holistic web-enabled bandwidth". Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma, affiliate-based? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B development and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for evolving. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. We understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to syndicate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deliver intuitively. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined user interfaces and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with emerging branding metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, collaborative, interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based architectures and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to synergize virtually. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be value-added? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated nano-nano-reporting and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Without e-markets, you will lack e-services. We will visualize the industry jargon "impactful". Think compelling. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will enlarge our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to strategize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At AssCo, we realize how to redefine dynamically. Without applications, you will lack robust seamless, B2B2C process management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based term "macro-value-added, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. If you e-enable mega-iteravely, you may have to redefine transparently. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The metrics for wireless obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not wireless.