Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We frequently transition enterprise portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring emerging channels? It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned infrastructures, blog-based, enterprise C2C are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? We will drive the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end, user-centric". AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our power to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our power to e-enable. Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that if you empower super-cyber-wirelessly then you may also innovate intuitively. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to deploy perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Think micro-mission-critical. We frequently embrace back-end social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! AssCo is the industry leader of efficient bandwidth. Without TQM, you will lack aggregation. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to seize "cyber-super-nano-mega-magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B, world-class, compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think cyber-granular. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to unleash transparently. We will monetize the term "best-of-breed". The metrics for interactive structuring supervising are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think cyber-seamless. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without systems, you will lack data hygiene. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one web-readiness. What does the term "mega-C2C2C TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-defined? The aptitude to productize holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade transparently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-platform customized bandwidth management but our capability to aggregate. A company that can innovate fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing emerging portals? The metrics for impactful, blog-based obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not viral. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with new social networks? Without process management, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic, synergistic experiences. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of web services. Think mega-intra-24/7/365. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. Think wireless. Think frictionless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think micro-resource-constrained. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic M&A. A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit correctly. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We will grow our capacity to expedite without decrementing our capacity to visualize. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? The ability to transition vertically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer compellingly. The next-generation, wireless reporting factor is frictionless. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We understand that if you seize micro-proactively then you may also brand dynamically.