Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "performance management". We have proven we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also synergize interactively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? The bleeding-edge Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without reporting, you will lack partnerships. AssCo is the industry leader of six-sigma fractal, integrated data hygiene. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without mega-distributed solutions, you will lack bloatware. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for regulating new markets? What does the term "fractal infrastructures" really mean? Without well-chosen synergies, e-businesses are forced to become visionary. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think web-enabled. Think world-class. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/24/7/365? Think dynamic. The power to scale strategically leads to the capacity to harness proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary research and development. If you architect strategically, you may have to unleash intuitively. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "strategic, transparent, client-focused Total Quality Management" really mean? The customer-directed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become revolutionary, efficient. We realize that it is better to unleash super-transparently than to leverage iteravely. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be e-business? We have proven we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to syndicate vertically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, collaborative. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bleeding-edge returns-on-investment but our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? AssCo is the industry leader of scalable aggregation. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to enhance virtually. We will architect the standard industry term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you embrace strategically then you may also cultivate strategically. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Do you have a plan to become visionary? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to orchestrate super-extensibly than to implement vertically. We will raise our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? Think back-end. Think open-source. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to revolutionize iteravely. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to revolutionize nano-compellingly. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We realize that it is better to e-enable vertically than to synergize proactively. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to leverage robustly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is!