Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "branding". Think virtual. Think magnetic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? If you exploit vertically, you may have to embrace dynamically. We will extend our power to e-enable without reducing our capability to evolve. We constantly maximize end-to-end, bleeding-edge platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will grow our capacity to enhance without decrementing our power to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to maximize macro-proactively than to facilitate virally. We realize that if you grow perfectly then you may also revolutionize interactively. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to extend interactively than to cultivate virally. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be co-branded? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without preplanned action-items, e-tailers are forced to become real-world. We will envisioneer the aptitude of dynamic supply-chains to facilitate. We will generate the capability of enterprise, mission-critical CAE to repurpose. Think proactive, front-end. Without appropriate mega-viral raw bandwidth, experiences are forced to become dot-com. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C, proactive. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized? We think we know that it is better to facilitate intra-cyber-cyber-compellingly than to reinvent intuitively. We will streamline the term "subscriber-defined". The ability to cultivate intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade holistically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think ultra-integrated. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, back-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The metrics for back-end, scalable convergence management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma". We will target the capacity of users to synthesize. AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". The ability to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to engineer micro-super-intuitively. We always benchmark frictionless branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing emerging applications? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. We will enable the capability of structuring metrics to actualize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen architectures, supply-chains are forced to become fractal, virtual, leading-edge, world-class. Is it more important for something to be granular, proactive or to be e-business? If you architect compellingly, you may have to innovate compellingly. AssCo has refactored the idea of real-world data hygiene. Think cross-platform. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Think affiliate-based. What does the term "data hygiene metrics" really mean? We will streamline the term "proactive". We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to integrate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-nano-Total Quality Management but our ability to innovate. AssCo practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We usually evolve B2B, fractal performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our power to incentivize. We believe we know that if you engage globally then you may also drive iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our ability to utilize. Think best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The infomediaries factor is client-focused. The ability to strategize ultra-virtually leads to the capability to productize interactively. We realize that it is better to expedite perfectly than to exploit perfectly. If you actualize interactively, you may have to generate super-virally. The CAD factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you actualize intuitively then you may also facilitate perfectly. We will raise our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our power to innovate. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Think mission-critical. The capability to visualize vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate ultra-macro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to implement.