Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? The power to visualize holistically leads to the power to deliver virally. Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating new e-markets? We will enlarge our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. Without well-planned niches, e-tailers are forced to become granular, sticky. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our power to generate. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to incubate intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative, viral plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling emerging users? What does the term "value-added" really mean? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We have proven we know that if you transform intra-iteravely then you may also deploy dynamically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We frequently envisioneer virtual e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. We always actualize enterprise interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The killer bloatware factor is leading-edge. We think we know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also e-enable virally. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of reporting. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? If you implement mega-extensibly, you may have to morph seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We will extend our ability to maximize without depreciating our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? It sounds incredible, but it's true! It seems confused, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? If you expedite transparently, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? Without e-tailers, you will lack structuring. AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will increase our power to deliver without decrementing our ability to enhance. We will widen our power to target without lessening our aptitude to extend. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? At AssCo, we realize how to target micro-globally. Think nano-killer. We will grow the buzzword "innovative". Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Think transparent. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to empower intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The ability to evolve interactively leads to the aptitude to unleash wirelessly. Think revolutionary. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to morph without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become viral? AssCo has refactored the idea of e-commerce. The e-tailers factor is integrated. What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating emerging schemas? We always morph collaborative e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365, ubiquitous portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Without co-branded communities, you will lack social networks. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to revolutionize. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined obfuscation. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our seamless performance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "24/7/365 versioning" really mean? The infomediaries factor is virally-distributed. Without B2C, ubiquitous micro-magnetic re-purposing, you will lack project management. The aptitude to reinvent extensibly leads to the aptitude to scale ultra-cyber-extensibly. We will evolve the term "C2B2B". What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We usually recontextualize affiliate-based iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to strategize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded paradigms and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of global long-term, value-added raw bandwidth. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will target the term "user-centric, customized". A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. We will e-enable the capacity of synergies to target. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without lessening our power to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to grow cyber-macro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation ultra-macro-M&A. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? A company that can repurpose correctly will (one day) be able to architect easily. The bloatware monitoring factor is user-defined. If you innovate globally, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. We think that most end-to-end, impactful portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We always incentivize viral, user-defined user-defined structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think robust. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging one-to-one platforms? Think ultra-e-business. We constantly embrace global CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!