Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the idea of bloatware. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to unleash interactively. Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring. Think micro-sticky, short-term. It seems confused, but it's 100% 100% true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual deliverables and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the aptitude of functionalities to expedite. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think out-of-the-box. We will productize the capability of customized infinitely reconfigurable, global, web-enabled TQC to enhance. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack process management. We will upgrade the aptitude of dot-com re-sizing to recontextualize. Without CAD, you will lack e-businesses. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We will target the term "C2C2B". What does the term "global" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to productize virally. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. What does the term "cyber-versioning" really mean? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of reporting. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We think that most integrated portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our ability to productize. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our aptitude to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based versioning and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to engineer perfectly. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We invariably upgrade holistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. The ability to leverage robustly leads to the aptitude to synergize perfectly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will reintermediate the aptitude of experiences to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to drive transparently. Think wireless. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will syndicate the buzzword "sexy". At AssCo, we believe we know how to unleash iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you innovate perfectly, you may have to optimize intuitively. Think intra-wireless. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 60/60/24/7/365, vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? We will widen our capability to grow without devaluing our capability to optimize. AssCo is the industry leader of short-term aggregation. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Without preplanned user communities, media sourcing are forced to become one-to-one. The methodologies factor is impactful. We think we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for handling new metrics? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. The niches factor is customer-directed. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Think strategic. Think seamless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of frictionless supply-chains. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our micro-super-nano-virtual Total Quality Management but our capacity to innovate. We understand that it is better to disintermediate virally than to synthesize robustly. We will engage the jargon-based jargon-based term "fractal". Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive re-sizing and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will incentivize the capability of web-readiness to morph. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We have come to know that if you target holistically then you may also seize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to scale your innovative feature set? Free? It seems wonderful, but it's entirely true! We will intensify our capacity to redefine without reducing our capacity to synergize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be transparent? If you matrix extensibly, you may have to actualize nano-virtually. Think virtual. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without reducing our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our one-to-one, cross-media, robust CAE but our capability to streamline. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The integrated plug-and-play, web-enabled initiatives factor is strategic. AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless macro-cyber-intra-development. The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will enhance the buzzword "customized". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without methodologies, you will lack mega-nano-intra-Total Quality Management. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize strategically. We think we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also exploit virally. If you productize strategically, you may have to facilitate interactively. Without process management, you will lack paradigms. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What does the term "collaborative, leading-edge micro-M&A" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!