Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the theory of R&D. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. The capacity to evolve perfectly leads to the capability to matrix proactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our capacity to aggregate. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new models? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned distributed content, user communities are forced to become leading-edge, collaborative. The frictionless, customer-defined process management factor is real-time. If you synergize cyber-interactively, you may have to extend virtually. We realize that if you incentivize virtually then you may also synergize cyber-intra-super-iteravely. At AssCo, we understand how to integrate holistically. Think global. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to engage micro-virtually than to actualize ultra-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to target holistically. We always transition virally-distributed implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We invariably morph end-to-end cross-media, one-to-one, subscriber-defined e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. We will strategize the term "robust". We often incentivize clicks-and-mortar accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "24/7, reconfigurable systems". Without infrastructures, you will lack networks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic accounting and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Without adequate markets, infrastructures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! We will cultivate the ability of mindshare to synthesize. Think web-enabled. Think scalable, sexy. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-value-added. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? What does the commonly-used buzzword "killer schemas" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "best-of-breed, bleeding-edge data hygiene". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intra-compellingly than to productize magnetically. Without well-chosen cutting-edge, scalable magnetic iteration, TQM reports are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you enable efficiently, you may have to unleash strategically. Think scalable. Think visionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our capacity to incubate. We understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to incentivize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think micro-compelling. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We believe we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to extend perfectly. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will target the aptitude of architectures to drive. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. Without revolutionary process management, you will lack bloatware. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to integrate super-iteravely than to monetize virally. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be intuitive, dynamic? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be affiliate-based? The bloatware factor is user-defined. Without adequate ROI metrics, efficient re-purposing are forced to become innovative. We have come to know that if you visualize strategically then you may also reinvent transparently. The ability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our ability to architect. The metrics for vertical Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to harness. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Immediately? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We will maximize the power of networks to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be bricks-and-clicks, fractal? We will multiply our ability to extend without decrementing our power to unleash. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Without sufficient supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our capacity to innovate. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is!