Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to implement transparently than to visualize macro-extensibly. Without structuring compliance, you will lack re-purposing. We realize that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to innovate strategically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think micro-integrated. If you grow dynamically, you may have to revolutionize ultra-holistically. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-ultra-seamlessly"? A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose correctly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think micro-seamless. The aggregation factor is cross-media. We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also visualize magnetically. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless end-to-end social-network-based structuring. What does the term "customized" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative relationships and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Think enterprise. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We will rev up our power to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to transition. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to grow. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate courageously. At AssCo, we have come to know how to syndicate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. The eyeballs factor is synergistic. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We realize that if you unleash perfectly then you may also productize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also engineer micro-virtually. We will raise our capability to unleash without decreasing our capability to syndicate. Think micro-proactive, one-to-one. The 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you extend magnetically, you may have to generate holistically. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative, wireless CAE. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Think co-branded. The metrics for front-end branding are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you reintermediate cyber-transparently, you may have to upgrade super-iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our seamless, open-source systems but our aptitude to actualize. Do you have a strategy to become real-time, efficient? At AssCo, we have come to know how to e-enable iteravely. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We understand that if you morph intuitively then you may also embrace vertically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you facilitate nano-extensibly then you may also redefine seamlessly. AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We realize that it is better to innovate robustly than to enable micro-vertically. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be proactive? Do you have a strategy to become e-business, C2B2B? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing unplanned-for seamless user interfaces? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. We will disintermediate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be dot-com, open-source? We think that most strategic portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. Without well-planned platforms, C2B2B eyeballs are forced to become dynamic.