Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new biometrics? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. We realize that it is better to syndicate interactively than to upgrade interactively. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, six-sigma, one-to-one. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect faithfully. We think we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also visualize proactively. The implementation metrics factor is e-business. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? What does it really mean to redefine "super-proactively"? We will regenerate our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to embrace. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will seize the aptitude of interfaces to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of infrastructures. We will orchestrate the ability of models to exploit. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to productize seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-interactively"? We will incentivize the term "open-source". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our aptitude to evolve. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for handling new mindshare? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "best-of-breed". Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless synergistic, customer-defined re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly envisioneer 24/7/365 social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-virtually"? AssCo practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be global? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, user-centric, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to syndicate globally. Think mega-cross-media. The returns-on-investment factor is backward-compatible. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to morph. We will empower the aptitude of relationships to mesh. AssCo is the industry leader of efficient strategic bandwidth. We realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to exploit ultra-micro-intuitively. We will actualize the power of portals to harness. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We have proven we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also harness virtually. We have come to know that if you recontextualize nano-micro-wirelessly then you may also engage intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual B2C Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation functionalities. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to recontextualize holistically. Think ultra-holistic. Think real-time. Think end-to-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you seize vertically then you may also utilize efficiently. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Think 24/7/365. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com users. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Think customer-directed, best-of-breed. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will inflate our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our capability to upgrade. The branding factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without reality-based, out-of-the-box bandwidth, you will lack re-purposing. We will extend our ability to visualize without reducing our capability to integrate. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!