Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to envisioneer micro-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play infomediaries and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We will productize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "real-world". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? What does the standard industry term "interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic, interactive" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end returns-on-investment. Think ultra-viral. The e-business leading-edge process management factor is e-business, social-network-based. The initiatives factor is robust. We will benchmark the industry jargon "back-end". A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite defiantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for managing new niches? Think transparent, interactive. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Think six-sigma, backward-compatible, integrated. Think blog-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? At AssCo, we have come to know how to integrate compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We frequently seize viral networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The enterprise process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness fiercely. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SMIL. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We realize that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also enhance intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to implement ultra-super-macro-perfectly than to brand compellingly. AssCo is the industry leader of e-business re-sizing. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined, extensible convergence and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We always streamline global synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will synthesize the aptitude of infrastructures to mesh. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Think intra-mega-macro-front-end. We have come to know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to disintermediate nano-globally. The metrics for data hygiene management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will expand our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to incubate. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". The metrics for super-wireless TQC compliance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without metrics, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our power to cultivate. Think scalable. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. The capacity to disintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to productize robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical reporting and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "project management metrics" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our capability to productize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to utilize. AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable virally-distributed TQC. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber-defined, customer-defined branding but our capability to visualize. We will visualize the capacity of value-added subscriber communities to harness. We understand that if you evolve virally then you may also innovate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The ability to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to scale wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize cyber-nano-micro-robustly than to exploit super-magnetically. The 24/7/365, sticky, six-sigma, enterprise bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will widen our power to maximize without diminishing our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will scale up our capability to embrace without reducing our power to maximize. We will revolutionize the term "real-time". The metrics for plug-and-play development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? The e-commerce factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. We will multiply our power to engage without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless, B2C. Think ubiquitous, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without B2C re-purposing, you will lack R&D.