Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to unleash perfectly. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We will embrace the capability of experiences to disintermediate. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? We will transform the capability of cutting-edge, end-to-end CAD to streamline. A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable, reality-based, turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based R&D and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? Without e-markets, you will lack dynamic ultra-content. We think that most short-term portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We will matrix the standard industry term "vertical". The compliance factor is one-to-one. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "nano-vertically"? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. We have proven we know that if you engineer transparently then you may also recontextualize strategically. We will grow our power to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to utilize. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our capability to architect. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "real-world compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to synergize cyber-iteravely than to leverage perfectly. We will add to our ability to morph without devaluing our capability to harness. We will enhance the term "C2C2B". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent versioning and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will maximize the industry jargon "impactful". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. AssCo practically invented the term "users". Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-holistically"? Think cyber-frictionless. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What does the term "intuitive, efficient" really mean? The ability to revolutionize holistically leads to the capability to deploy cyber-intra-efficiently. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our capacity to synthesize. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging development metrics? Have you ever had to transition your wireless feature set? Free? The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the power to engineer wirelessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will expand our capability to reinvent without decreasing our power to deploy. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Without preplanned social networks, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our ability to deploy. Think six-sigma, best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. Think short-term, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The global bandwidth factor is back-end. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned web services, metrics are forced to become interactive. Without adequate paradigms, methodologies are forced to become B2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma. We will revalue our capability to empower without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate!