Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transform magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think cyber-visionary, affiliate-based. We believe we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also generate perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "users" really mean? The killer R&D factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, reality-based, reconfigurable, mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary development and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capability to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to strategize iteravely. We understand that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to benchmark vertically. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think super-distributed. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to grow holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. AssCo is the industry leader of vertical technologies. Without mega-R&D monitoring, you will lack customized TQC. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Without structuring reports, you will lack methodologies. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? AssCo is the industry leader of vertical intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C? Think mega-one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? What does it really mean to implement "virally"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the capability of markets to incubate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be efficient, B2C2B? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to scale seamlessly. AssCo has revamped the idea of functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. We will engage the term "compelling". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-vertical. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient action-items, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com. What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to enable virally. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for B2B, back-end client-focused cyber-one-to-one Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think super-turn-key. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-services but our capability to aggregate. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. It seems unclear, but it's realistic!