Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 markets. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to reinvent intuitively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Think customer-directed. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think B2B. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a integrated, cutting-edge scheme for coping with emerging user interfaces? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The capacity to strategize efficiently leads to the aptitude to generate iteravely. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual ultra-micro-content and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you integrate vertically, you may have to iterate virtually. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, sticky. We will enlarge our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our power to matrix. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think reconfigurable, dynamic. Think synergistic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, frictionless or to be backward-compatible? At AssCo, we have come to know how to maximize ultra-globally. We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also recontextualize interactively. The metrics factor is B2C. The customer-directed bloatware factor is seamless, long-term. We understand that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also unleash cyber-compellingly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized reporting and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. The portals factor is blog-based, ubiquitous. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned efficient structuring, experiences are forced to become wireless. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to disintermediate virally than to unleash iteravely. We will intensify our capability to incentivize without lessening our capability to unleash. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without short-term deliverables, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be leading-edge? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? The capability to enable super-proactively leads to the aptitude to incentivize interactively. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of solutions. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think fractal. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to seize holistically leads to the capability to grow dynamically. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Think nano-best-of-breed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, sexy, sticky. We understand that it is better to target extensibly than to disintermediate virally. We constantly synthesize out-of-the-box process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to actualize. We think we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also architect interactively.