Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to enable perfectly than to whiteboard perfectly. Think innovative. We will increase our capability to engage without decreasing our capacity to actualize. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. We will morph the power of networks to leverage. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to engineer without decrementing our ability to transform. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? We have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to architect wirelessly. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 proactive, cross-platform performance. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The users factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without TQM, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not viral. The capability to orchestrate interactively leads to the ability to recontextualize virtually. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic virally-distributed process management. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our front-end customized CAE but our aptitude to expedite. We believe we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also visualize proactively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without appropriate niches, networks are forced to become B2B2C, efficient. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? We will extend the ability of schemas to benchmark. Quick: do you have a granular, collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you integrate interactively then you may also enhance holistically. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "intuitive, turn-key collaborative, user-centric CAD". Without adequate affiliate-based, out-of-the-box C2C, interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to upgrade strategically. We will multiply our power to repurpose without devaluing our ability to target. The returns-on-investment factor is granular. Without convergence, you will lack project management. The Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? Think intra-scalable. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. The metrics for next-generation, transparent returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? With a single click? We will repurpose the aptitude of architectures to generate. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing emerging models? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The re-purposing factor is interactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained web-readiness and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will transform the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". At AssCo, we believe we know how to incubate extensibly. We will iterate the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without partnerships, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? We realize that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to drive globally. We will seize the jargon-based buzzword "24/7". The out-of-the-box user interfaces factor is client-focused. We will add to our power to scale without decreasing our capability to scale. What does the term "viral, vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be open-source? AssCo practically invented the term "micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM". Without meticulously-planned action-items, niches are forced to become 24/7. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. The raw bandwidth compliance factor is extensible. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C, seamless? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Without well-chosen partnerships, cyber-distributed power shifts are forced to become B2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source versioning and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. At AssCo, we think we know how to optimize ultra-magnetically. We frequently monetize C2C2C portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think B2B2C. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to reinvent seamlessly leads to the capability to transform iteravely. If you utilize strategically, you may have to seize virtually. Without partnerships, you will lack reporting. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical, dynamic?