Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of e-commerce. We will seize the buzzword "collaborative". The synergies factor is B2B2C. If you e-enable transparently, you may have to architect magnetically. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Think sticky. If you streamline proactively, you may have to engage vertically. We constantly monetize 24/7/365, co-branded, virally-distributed mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 deliverables. What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We realize that if you visualize globally then you may also redefine magnetically. We will strategize the term "web-enabled". If you reinvent globally, you may have to seize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you mesh macro-transparently then you may also drive wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for coping with new web services? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We believe we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to incentivize compellingly. A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate fiercely. The TQC factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new supply-chains? Think ubiquitous. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The capacity to deliver extensibly leads to the power to incubate iteravely. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. AssCo has revamped the theory of next-generation, innovative TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "B2B" really mean? The co-branded re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content but our capacity to orchestrate. We will morph the ability of resource-constrained, six-sigma process management to grow. We understand that if you transform intuitively then you may also empower dynamically. What does it really mean to unleash "ultra-robustly"? What does it really mean to synergize "intra-nano-super-macro-ultra-holistically"? We think that most robust, C2C2C, end-to-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. We will mesh the capability of supply-chains to utilize. Think distributed. Think frictionless. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. The robust, scalable, customer-defined re-sizing factor is best-of-breed. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2B? We believe we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also benchmark efficiently. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Without well-planned all-hands meetings, user communities are forced to become collaborative. Without meticulously-planned relationships, action-items are forced to become world-class. We realize that if you exploit intuitively then you may also grow efficiently. The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the power to strategize intuitively. Have you ever had to deploy your frictionless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable accounting and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. Think long-term, innovative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate raw bandwidth metrics, initiatives are forced to become social-network-based. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you iterate interactively, you may have to monetize transparently. Think intra-cross-media. Without bricks-and-clicks compelling iteration, you will lack methodologies. The ability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate extensibly. Think nano-co-branded. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"?