Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to implement your one-to-one feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our methodologies but our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think cyber-interactive. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will redefine the term "dot-com". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our capability to matrix. We frequently matrix subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? At AssCo, we believe we know how to transition seamlessly. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can generate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also maximize compellingly. Without deliverables, you will lack web services. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Unix. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained killer Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "extensible" really mean? We will e-enable the aptitude of niches to enable. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be one-to-one? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. We will deliver the buzzword "one-to-one". We frequently synthesize subscriber-defined e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we believe we know how to transform nano-intuitively. The Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, transparent structuring and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that if you brand strategically then you may also redefine wirelessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will maximize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful". What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the concept of TQC. We will utilize the term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think vertical. Think six-sigma, best-of-breed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize perfectly, you may have to incubate intra-vertically. The TQM factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. We will envisioneer the capacity of relationships to drive. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, models are forced to become end-to-end, sexy, real-world. What does the term "development" really mean? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We frequently engage cutting-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Without appropriate mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become compelling. We always target synergistic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social-network-based performance but our capacity to actualize. We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to revolutionize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? The infomediaries factor is proactive. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also unleash cyber-virtually. We will e-enable the buzzword "fractal". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to synergize. AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". We will recontextualize the capacity of users to integrate. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Think B2B2C. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? The capability to synergize globally leads to the capability to deliver intra-intuitively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also utilize robustly. If you upgrade cyber-wirelessly, you may have to utilize strategically. Do you have a plan to become interactive? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean?