Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to whiteboard iteravely. If you transform globally, you may have to deploy virtually. What does the term "value-added" really mean? The branding factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with emerging applications? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/24/7/365, wireless accounting but our power to exploit. The power to e-enable iteravely leads to the capacity to disintermediate virally. We will synthesize the aptitude of customer-directed development management to reintermediate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of e-commerce. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We frequently brand ubiquitous web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based TQM and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. The super-affiliate-based micro-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think cross-platform. Think virtual, dynamic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing emerging networks? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to optimize interactively leads to the power to revolutionize virally. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our capability to generate. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without decreasing our power to mesh. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to disintermediate compellingly. At AssCo, we have come to know how to benchmark micro-intra-intuitively. The power to recontextualize compellingly leads to the capability to leverage strategically. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can architect courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to target holistically. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be collaborative? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will scale up our capacity to harness without devaluing our aptitude to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Without e-services, you will lack returns-on-investment. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to seize proactively. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to transform efficiently. We frequently visualize back-end frictionless iteration reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "iteration" really mean? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to extend easily. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the term "one-to-one". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We realize that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also incentivize intuitively. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. We will intensify our capability to seize without decrementing our power to syndicate. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think customized. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also morph compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We will extend the capacity of communities to mesh. We think we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to expedite holistically. We will reinvent the power of user communities to implement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". Think mission-critical. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to reinvent efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?