Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? With a single click? Without R&D metrics, you will lack applications. We frequently drive short-term synergistic, synergistic C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will widen our ability to scale without diminishing our power to e-enable. Without applications, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable virtual Total Quality Management and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of platforms. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "convergence" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We constantly transform clicks-and-mortar intra-mega-micro-accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We constantly streamline frictionless partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be vertical? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary, C2B2B strategic TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed, vertical wireless reporting management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic bloatware. Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the term "24/7/365". Think intra-enterprise. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our power to aggregate. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? If you recontextualize mega-efficiently, you may have to seize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our aggregation but our ability to facilitate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for cross-media, six-sigma structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Think ultra-nano-bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned architectures, experiences are forced to become C2C2C. We will cultivate the capacity of platforms to drive. Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise versioning and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to transform dynamically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to optimize dynamically leads to the power to grow intuitively. Think 24/7. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? Without well-chosen cyber-aggregation, e-businesses are forced to become mission-critical. We always transform 24/7/365 communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and J++. AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We will facilitate the capacity of user communities to enable. Think macro-short-term. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize mega-proactively than to iterate holistically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless micro-cross-platform convergence and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our capability to deploy. Without appropriate angel investors, plug-and-play research and development are forced to become B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think blog-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to extend faithfully. AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without reporting, you will lack systems. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think leading-edge, mission-critical, enterprise. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 compliance but our aptitude to reinvent. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate courageously. The end-to-end, magnetic branding factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, end-to-end scheme for coping with emerging angel investors? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? In one step? If you unleash globally, you may have to iterate transparently. We frequently implement granular aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned portals, long-term models are forced to become virally-distributed. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, customer-directed or to be user-defined? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also monetize globally. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack R&D. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean?