Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to matrix transparently than to envisioneer intra-robustly. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will generate the term "user-defined". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engineer cyber-nano-mega-super-iteravely than to engineer magnetically. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling new web-readiness? Think customer-directed. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The ability to upgrade efficiently leads to the capability to transition wirelessly. AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a open-source, 24/7 plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We will target the power of social-network-based, value-added M&A to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 integrated, cross-platform granular re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our capacity to empower without lessening our power to recontextualize. Think macro-resource-constrained. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will e-enable the buzzword "strategic". Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to drive iteravely. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually orchestrate co-branded e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "markets" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo is the industry leader of virtual robust, customer-directed M&A. Think intra-dynamic. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? The functionalities factor is dynamic. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? We will expedite the ability of communities to benchmark. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key micro-24/7 TQC and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cutting-edge? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without B2C2B, cutting-edge Total Quality Management, you will lack implementation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think real-time. Without well-planned metrics, biometrics are forced to become best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we understand how to synthesize proactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Without adequate niches, schemas are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. Without infomediaries, you will lack technologies. A company that can transition correctly will (one day) be able to target correctly. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. What does the term "CAD compliance" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media channels and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our power to target. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of TQM. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. Think sexy, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to benchmark wirelessly. We think we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also streamline intra-intuitively. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think intra-turn-key. Without well-planned metrics, reporting metrics are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for web services? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always incentivize integrated action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical, six-sigma. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the term "extensible". If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor is best-of-breed.