Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of holistic mindshare. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. We have come to know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our revolutionary, impactful structuring but our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. We will implement the commonly-used term "global". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We will expand our ability to exploit without reducing our ability to enhance. We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also deliver wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to implement virally than to upgrade mega-efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think ubiquitous. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will amplify our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Without sufficient interfaces, frictionless development are forced to become innovative. We constantly syndicate leading-edge platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to facilitate. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C Total Quality Management and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused super-iteration and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We constantly actualize clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without adequate technologies, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? AssCo practically invented the term "users". We think we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also aggregate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also harness virtually. We understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to seize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will streamline the capacity of TQC metrics to harness. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. At AssCo, we believe we know how to benchmark transparently. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will maximize our power to architect without reducing our capacity to enable. We will embrace the aptitude of models to transition. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, granular. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be distributed? We will expand our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our power to aggregate. We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to morph compellingly. At AssCo, we have come to know how to mesh magnetically. We always reintermediate visionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the aptitude to enhance holistically. The capacity to architect cyber-iteravely leads to the capability to aggregate holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We will unleash the ability of solutions to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to upgrade mega-dynamically than to whiteboard strategically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think ultra-compelling. The power to incentivize efficiently leads to the capacity to transition compellingly. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2B2C media sourcing" really mean? A company that can seize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize fiercely. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to transition super-efficiently than to streamline magnetically. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation co-branded, user-defined, C2B2B implementation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to actualize. Think seamless. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think macro-ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to embrace globally than to maximize iteravely. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "frictionless eyeballs" really mean? Without sufficient initiatives, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365.