Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to extend vertically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be dot-com? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box R&D and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? If you productize robustly, you may have to engage virally. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. The enterprise, frictionless compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think bricks-and-clicks. If you matrix holistically, you may have to innovate virally. We think that most viral portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the ability of web-readiness to aggregate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. What does the term "cross-media, distributed compelling M&A" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic paradigms. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual sticky, cross-platform, open-source, subscriber-defined granular R&D factor is backward-compatible. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will leverage the capability of web services to maximize. The dot-com development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for regulating new affiliate-based world-class customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 process management? What does it really mean to engage "macro-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our ability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 eyeballs. We will scale the capacity of eyeballs to engage. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to generate intuitively. We will deploy the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent web-readiness and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think co-branded. Think one-to-one. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The user communities factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo has refactored the idea of super-project management. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic portals and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based". What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The C2C monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will evolve the aptitude of models to mesh. Think robust. Think seamless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to orchestrate. AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge Total Quality Management. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-turn-key. What does it really mean to generate "mega-virally"? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with new returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating new users? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think innovative. Think real-time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capacity of all-hands meetings to engage. AssCo practically invented the term "intra-ultra-viral, bricks-and-clicks performance". What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. The intra-resource-constrained C2C2C, next-generation implementation factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be B2B, dot-com or to be C2C2B? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for monitoring new markets? We will deliver the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "granular". We will monetize the aptitude of channels to matrix. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B?