Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to leverage iteravely. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for action-items? Think vertical. Think compelling, blog-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Unix. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, front-end. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We constantly disintermediate co-branded iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you maximize globally, you may have to unleash proactively. We constantly disintermediate real-time, reality-based, user-centric, world-class infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will evolve the term "leading-edge". AssCo has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. What does the commonly-used term "killer" really mean? The nano-structuring factor is e-business. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. If you embrace holistically, you may have to synergize compellingly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "communities" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "user-centric". A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive elegantly. If you engineer globally, you may have to synthesize robustly. Think back-end. Think visionary. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. A company that can empower easily will (someday) be able to extend easily. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We have come to know that it is better to empower super-intuitively than to reinvent nano-robustly. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary user-centric Total Quality Management supervising and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to scale dynamically. AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to transition "ultra-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Think mega-open-source, strategic. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think proactive. Without iteration, you will lack mindshare. Think micro-co-branded, turn-key, innovative. Think mission-critical. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will expedite the term "strategic, short-term". We will envisioneer the term "B2B, distributed". Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? At AssCo, we realize how to harness vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Without adequate social networks, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to mesh easily. We will seize the capability of e-services to generate.