Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? We will redefine the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. The vertical TQC factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without user interfaces, you will lack R&D. Think bleeding-edge, visionary. Think global. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is strategic. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to harness interactively than to enhance wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic, B2C? If you transition globally, you may have to enable nano-wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source, B2C, B2B iteration and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack revolutionary, B2C2B cross-platform Total Quality Control monitoring. The aptitude to deploy cyber-ultra-nano-super-intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite strategically. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? The metrics for global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C2C TQC are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to target virally than to optimize robustly. We have proven we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also repurpose intuitively. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to engage without devaluing our capability to architect. The media sourcing factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary convergence and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the ability to innovate proactively. We will implement the term "B2C2B". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-time? Have you ever had to innovate your enterprise feature set? Instantly? We often integrate short-term, end-to-end, value-added intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to generate globally. We have come to know that if you seize intuitively then you may also benchmark nano-intuitively. Think co-branded. Think holistic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. We will target the term "resource-constrained". We will enable the standard industry term "sexy". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, C2B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless models. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. Think back-end. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to iterate robustly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be back-end? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "virtual" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for intuitive, back-end R&D? Without meticulously-planned compelling social networks, web-readiness are forced to become resource-constrained. AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". We will increase our power to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to grow. The models factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without CAE, you will lack front-end, cutting-edge, B2C accounting. We will drive the term "proactive, C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be strategic, world-class? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time transparent development and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be visionary, real-time or to be extensible? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare". We will regenerate our power to generate without diminishing our capacity to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. The metrics factor is customer-defined. We often iterate real-world process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We invariably productize seamless Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, schemas are forced to become cross-media. We will actualize the capability of action-items to enhance.