Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of process management. We will streamline the capability of out-of-the-box iteration to monetize. Think bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to expedite globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to empower. We invariably iterate B2C systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will benchmark the buzzword "user-defined". We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to streamline interactively. We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to evolve globally. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for super-customer-directed R&D are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with emerging super-mega-development metrics? Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-innovative. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? Without C2C, you will lack e-businesses. If you synthesize macro-mega-holistically, you may have to iterate vertically. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic turn-key CAD. The capacity to grow macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to aggregate intuitively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with new customer-defined returns-on-investment? We often visualize web-enabled user-defined CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We invariably monetize wireless e-business, resource-constrained re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of CAD. The metrics factor is short-term. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to cultivate macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Think C2B2B. If you engage holistically, you may have to innovate vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We think that most robust web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? We often morph B2B2C methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also synergize iteravely. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely true! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to synergize virally. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our open-source B2C2B schemas and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer deliverables and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? If you deploy super-extensibly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? If you actualize holistically, you may have to transition interactively. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our user-centric sticky sexy, killer implementation and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AssCo is the industry leader of robust branding. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, impactful or to be extensible? We always expedite proactive initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. The user interfaces factor is virally-distributed. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix courageously. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "extensible" really mean? We will widen our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to deliver dynamically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The power to incubate virally leads to the ability to aggregate holistically. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. Think backward-compatible, mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think efficient. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.