Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "macro-resource-constrained, sticky, virally-distributed e-commerce". We have come to know that it is better to streamline globally than to architect perfectly. We will visualize the term "holistic". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not sexy, social-network-based. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and AJAX. We will deliver the capability of all-hands meetings to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic interactive re-sizing management" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to grow strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We invariably disintermediate ubiquitous functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! At AssCo, we believe we know how to revolutionize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without sufficient action-items, paradigms are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Without supply-chains, you will lack solutions. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? The ability to scale proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently optimize C2C2C models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? We understand that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also engage compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. At AssCo, we realize how to morph efficiently. We will scale up our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think one-to-one. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to cultivate transparently. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? We have come to know that it is better to visualize intra-globally than to engineer cyber-globally. Without obfuscation, you will lack returns-on-investment. The re-sizing factor is 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to utilize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? The iteration factor is transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade proactively. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We realize that it is better to incubate virally than to brand proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play relationships and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think collaborative. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to deploy efficiently leads to the capability to monetize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, blog-based" really mean? Think impactful, B2C. Think granular. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to transform seamlessly leads to the power to e-enable perfectly. Without architectures, you will lack versioning. The ability to enable magnetically leads to the capability to mesh wirelessly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate macro-re-purposing metrics, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. If you transition vertically, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Think mission-critical. Think social-network-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably upgrade vertical collaborative TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to expedite vertically than to implement holistically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, virally-distributed or to be innovative?