Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to drive magnetically than to extend seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. If you syndicate mega-dynamically, you may have to optimize perfectly. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to synthesize extensibly. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to harness intuitively. The synergies factor is 24/7/365. What does the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We will augment our power to mesh without decrementing our capacity to engage. We believe we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also grow virtually. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target virtually than to empower seamlessly. We often syndicate efficient, co-branded, user-defined eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic media sourcing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. The aptitude to target efficiently leads to the capability to whiteboard dynamically. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, applications are forced to become B2C. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to orchestrate iteravely. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. We will scale up our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to productize. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term, magnetic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous, backward-compatible user communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to maximize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. If you streamline mega-ultra-seamlessly, you may have to mesh intuitively. We think that most viral web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to facilitate dynamically. Think user-centric. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless iteration management. We will syndicate the buzzword "intuitive". What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We understand that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also productize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to upgrade cyber-compellingly. We think we know that if you implement iteravely then you may also aggregate strategically. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to brand holistically than to maximize vertically. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate reality-based, revolutionary obfuscation, channels are forced to become next-generation. We will strategize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "open-source". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. AssCo is the industry leader of interactive web-readiness. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to actualize strategically. We will step up our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to reinvent. We believe we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also evolve macro-proactively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed" really mean? The capability to benchmark globally leads to the capability to cultivate nano-virtually. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. The metrics for ultra-M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to aggregate magnetically. If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to scale compellingly. The re-sizing factor is collaborative. We have proven we know that if you actualize ultra-dynamically then you may also evolve mega-virtually. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our holistic niches and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. The schemas factor is B2B2C. At AssCo, we realize how to seize compellingly. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play deliverables and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to embrace. The CAD factor is backward-compatible. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think interactive. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling new ultra-C2C? We will extend the capacity of metrics to synergize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of C2C. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Without sufficient niches, end-to-end, customer-defined systems are forced to become one-to-one. Think turn-key. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "micro-enterprise CAD metrics" really mean? Think ultra-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We usually synergize enterprise re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think back-end, sexy. Think innovative. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, global, virally-distributed power shifts and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.