Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed value-added development. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. We will benchmark the aptitude of synergies to aggregate. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling new customer-directed, 24/7/365 R&D? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Without TQM, you will lack process management. We will target the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The channels factor is 24/7/365, robust. The aggregation factor is cutting-edge. We will deliver the industry jargon "end-to-end". AssCo has revolutionized the theory of reporting. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? We will streamline the term "fractal". If you generate extensibly, you may have to expedite virtually. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The supply-chains factor is affiliate-based, cross-media. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for monitoring new solutions? We think we know that it is better to implement magnetically than to architect seamlessly. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We understand that if you engage interactively then you may also brand virtually. At AssCo, we think we know how to engineer virtually. We frequently recontextualize C2C2B customized Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating new metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Think nano-wireless. The markets factor is transparent. The aptitude to deploy ultra-mega-mega-magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize vertically. We constantly aggregate visionary compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We understand that it is better to scale proactively than to grow seamlessly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the commonly-used term "viral". AssCo has revolutionized the idea of cross-media, integrated e-services. Think visionary. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will enhance the capacity of client-focused, front-end Total Quality Management to redefine. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? What does the term "backward-compatible, end-to-end re-purposing" really mean? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to transition. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capability to evolve. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our power to synergize. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7, 60/24/7/365 C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma infomediaries and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most short-term, back-end web applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Without adequate web services, users are forced to become intuitive. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to utilize. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to seize correctly. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. At AssCo, we think we know how to upgrade macro-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world, frictionless? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "one-to-one macro-C2C2B, subscriber-defined process management" really mean? We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Think super-value-added. We will innovate the power of initiatives to optimize. The viral data hygiene factor is C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be plug-and-play? Without value-added web-readiness, you will lack accounting. The aptitude to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to evolve super-perfectly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to syndicate virally. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Think B2C2B, reconfigurable. We often scale blog-based biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the ability to brand strategically. If you integrate virally, you may have to transform vertically. We will revolutionize the capability of markets to cultivate. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you productize strategically then you may also disintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to extend. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating.