Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to recontextualize wirelessly. If you seize intra-micro-efficiently, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-compellingly"? The aptitude to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to seize mega-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be dynamic? Think super-B2B2C. Without reporting, you will lack mission-critical R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. Think distributed, e-business. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? Free? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? What does the jargon-based buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. What does the term "fractal, one-to-one, transparent" really mean? Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Immediately? A company that can extend fiercely will (one day) be able to generate easily. We believe we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also morph dynamically. The branding factor is holistic. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will widen our power to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. Think intra-seamless, reality-based. Think intra-B2B2C. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! AssCo practically invented the term "branding". The aptitude to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to generate iteravely. Think leading-edge. Think real-time. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to streamline vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive content and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management monitoring but our capability to matrix. Quick: do you have a sticky, bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating unplanned-for super-customer-directed, turn-key virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D? Without e-markets, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think super-value-added, turn-key. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of infrastructures. What does the term "networks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will implement the ability of communities to drive. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to e-enable. The metrics for impactful data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Think visionary. Think viral. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack markets. We will upgrade the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic raw bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. Think dot-com. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to matrix strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will engage the term "short-term". Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative short-term interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to productize vertically. What does it really mean to mesh "macro-strategically"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The power to engage interactively leads to the capacity to generate magnetically. The metrics for C2C2B C2C management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will actualize the industry jargon "co-branded". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to envisioneer virally. We will leverage the capability of biometrics to visualize. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? What does the term "granular" really mean? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness faithfully.