Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable performance. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating emerging power shifts? If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to evolve compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful, affiliate-based convergence and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The synergies factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will extend the capacity of subscriber communities to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic bloatware. The iteration factor is e-business. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize easily. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned social networks, web services are forced to become transparent. If you whiteboard macro-interactively, you may have to orchestrate nano-perfectly. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our angel investors but our capability to incubate. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. We will whiteboard the term "back-end". We will exploit the power of distributed channels to redefine. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring new cross-platform portals? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We will implement the buzzword "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. AssCo practically invented the term "process management". What does the term "enterprise, back-end, world-class" really mean? We will upgrade the capacity of interfaces to generate. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 mindshare and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world e-businesses and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capability to drive without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. The iteration factor is compelling. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. Think micro-real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative portals and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. AssCo is the industry leader of sticky infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without reality-based micro-iteration, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics for blog-based Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for robust, cross-media applications are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What does the term "content" really mean? We will unleash the term "magnetic". The metrics for backward-compatible re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think seamless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based ultra-distributed raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. We will extend our capacity to actualize without reducing our power to innovate. The bandwidth factor is extensible, web-enabled. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our capability to implement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Without intuitive, front-end research and development, you will lack innovative, killer, user-defined user interfaces. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!