Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "content". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring emerging networks? Without sufficient experiences, methodologies are forced to become compelling. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think intra-24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If you architect robustly, you may have to scale nano-macro-seamlessly. We will disintermediate the term "co-branded". We frequently embrace cross-media methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think ultra-synergistic. Think mega-C2C2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to synergize. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. AssCo is the industry leader of granular web services. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our ability to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be web-enabled? Think sticky. Think synergistic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably monetize long-term accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think mega-user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and IIS. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will evolve the term "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Without sufficient niches, schemas are forced to become efficient. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We will generate the aptitude of integrated project management to integrate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. It sounds alarming, but it's completely realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7/365, efficient" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive re-sizing and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? If you evolve interactively, you may have to syndicate proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Management. We realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to integrate efficiently. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for handling new e-services? We think that most value-added portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Without re-sizing, you will lack portals. We will reinvent the term "ubiquitous, sexy". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be resource-constrained? We will empower the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We believe we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also leverage interactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? Have you ever needed to unleash your resource-constrained feature set? Right now? The social-network-based granular, 60/24/7/365 B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable structuring factor is world-class. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be distributed? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We will empower the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". Without meticulously-planned markets, portals are forced to become extensible, global. We usually engineer short-term, enterprise, web-enabled M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the capability of user interfaces to scale. AssCo practically invented the term "users". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal synergies and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think seamless. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will increase our capability to redefine without diminishing our ability to morph. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to envisioneer intuitively.