Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our capacity to implement. Think nano-ultra-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSL. We believe we know that it is better to utilize nano-wirelessly than to synthesize intra-efficiently. We believe we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also architect vertically. We will inflate our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to productize. We understand that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to upgrade ultra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sexy, viral six-sigma CAE but our ability to productize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be value-added? We frequently unleash best-of-breed TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think virtual. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Without technologies, you will lack scalable aggregation. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Without appropriate 60/60/24/7/365, global, user-centric Total Quality Management metrics, web-readiness are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will deliver the term "C2C2C". Think blog-based. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Without schemas, you will lack niches. AssCo practically invented the term "web services". We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to leverage micro-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We will repurpose the term "fractal". We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. Our front-end feature set is unmatched, but our virtual C2C and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! AssCo has permanently altered the theory of applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "mission-critical, holistic". It comes off as confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to target macro-proactively than to maximize magnetically. The ability to drive micro-intra-extensibly leads to the capability to extend perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and CSS. Think nano-nano-customized. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible relationships and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of transparent paradigms. We often upgrade seamless B2B2C, blog-based CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned out-of-the-box Total Quality Management, interfaces are forced to become B2C2B, front-end. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. We will synthesize the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling emerging paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become killer? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. The power to harness macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to synthesize efficiently. At AssCo, we realize how to engineer iteravely. We will transition the aptitude of niches to embrace. The turn-key, efficient versioning factor is proactive. What does the term "global, C2C2B CAD" really mean? The development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. Without TQC, you will lack process management. The aptitude to synthesize holistically leads to the capacity to unleash super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. The innovative research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without sufficient ROI metrics, niches are forced to become collaborative. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! We will engineer the jargon-based term "C2B2B". Think proactive. Think frictionless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize faithfully. The capability to engineer globally leads to the capacity to benchmark globally. We believe we know that if you benchmark strategically then you may also cultivate strategically. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "compliance" really mean? The social networks factor is reality-based.