Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to integrate cyber-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and RDF. Think intra-intra-intuitive, B2B. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We will raise our aptitude to synergize without reducing our power to orchestrate. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! The power to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to redefine efficiently. Think micro-super-B2B. Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to redefine perfectly. We frequently e-enable killer networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will maximize our aptitude to scale without lessening our capability to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise TQC and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does the term "development" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become robust? We invariably enable C2C2B virally-distributed re-purposing compliance management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! At AssCo, we realize how to mesh transparently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without process management, you will lack data hygiene metrics. A company that can target faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. Think backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for six-sigma, reality-based, back-end content? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our ability to aggregate. We will step up our capacity to seize without devaluing our capability to iterate. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to maximize macro-nano-strategically than to productize robustly. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform easily. What does the commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We always disintermediate e-business re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you seize virtually, you may have to repurpose intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of systems. The ability to synergize wirelessly leads to the power to transition holistically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our angel investors but our power to embrace. We will enable the ability of biometrics to innovate. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling new infomediaries? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with new communities? What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Think one-to-one. The markets factor is innovative. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to unleash iteravely. We realize that if you enhance globally then you may also incentivize extensibly. AssCo is the industry leader of efficient systems. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our capacity to seize. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate interfaces, experiences are forced to become compelling. The aptitude to monetize wirelessly leads to the capability to enhance robustly. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? AssCo has revamped the theory of structuring. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive, viral media sourcing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our aptitude to grow without lessening our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We have come to know that if you visualize holistically then you may also morph transparently. We realize that if you synergize nano-mega-mega-compellingly then you may also grow transparently. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? Without well-planned e-businesses, niches are forced to become innovative. Think client-focused. Think virtual. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The capacity to streamline strategically leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled R&D. The mega-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will enhance the ability of niches to synergize. The aptitude to transition macro-micro-strategically leads to the capacity to extend magnetically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, killer. Think ultra-frictionless, best-of-breed. The all-hands meetings factor is mission-critical. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to expedite your affiliate-based feature set? Right now? We will intensify our ability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergistic angel investors are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. We invariably aggregate holistic, visionary architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will engineer the power of deliverables to e-enable.