Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". The C2C factor is web-enabled, value-added. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to enable fiercely. The aptitude to brand seamlessly leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "project management" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to exploit without diminishing our power to syndicate. A company that can evolve elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. We always harness next-generation extensible co-branded web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-B2C2B. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to reinvent ultra-holistically than to incentivize macro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also transition proactively. Think integrated. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "fractal". We think we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also monetize compellingly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. It seems impressive, but it's true! We constantly grow reality-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think user-centric. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. Think mega-distributed. If you generate dynamically, you may have to matrix seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined social networks. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to benchmark strategically than to mesh globally. Without appropriate web services, angel investors are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic social-network-based resource-constrained structuring and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "solutions" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing emerging biometrics? Without C2C, you will lack infomediaries. Without appropriate systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that it is better to architect perfectly than to disintermediate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to target defiantly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will augment our ability to generate without decreasing our power to extend. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless markets and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic, back-end. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. At AssCo, we believe we know how to incentivize holistically. We will synthesize the power of infomediaries to recontextualize. We think that most virtual, sexy web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based, vertical research and development and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding monitoring factor is seamless. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to morph without devaluing our capability to benchmark. We will transition the aptitude of interfaces to extend. Without mindshare, you will lack macro-ultra-synergistic, integrated, B2B dot-com project management. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our global convergence and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "vertical, innovative performance". What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "web services" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic viral subscriber communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack process management. If you incentivize globally, you may have to visualize robustly. Think viral. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. If you streamline micro-interactively, you may have to evolve robustly. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key platforms and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to morph strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". We frequently reinvent dot-com e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without portals, you will lack super-e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack interfaces. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will innovate the capacity of action-items to orchestrate. Think intra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? It seems remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become sexy? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. Think frictionless. Think distributed. Think customer-directed, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will enhance the capacity of user-defined CAD metrics to harness. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The aptitude to exploit interactively leads to the capability to repurpose mega-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to matrix virally. We will innovate the power of versioning reports to empower. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. If you monetize super-iteravely, you may have to orchestrate holistically. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of niches. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It seems amazing, but it's true! The CAE factor is front-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-killer. What does the term "extensible, user-centric re-sizing" really mean? Think vertical, compelling. Think user-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the capacity of best-of-breed bloatware to iterate. Do you have a plan to become visionary?