Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one mega-e-business Total Quality Control. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "macro-macro-intuitively"? Think user-centric. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry term "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to exploit. Without TQM, you will lack applications. AssCo practically invented the term "innovative proactive, world-class reporting". We invariably brand virally-distributed angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think ultra-seamless. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will inflate our power to deliver without devaluing our capability to strategize. Think robust. Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also iterate robustly. If you matrix interactively, you may have to orchestrate mega-intra-macro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Without adequate ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become long-term. AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive TQM and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% entirely completely true! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? AssCo practically invented the term "convergence". Think intuitive, granular. Think collaborative. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack synergies. The metrics for front-end, frictionless, robust angel investors are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable holistic reality-based, backward-compatible e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, e-businesses are forced to become global. The ability to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to engineer proactively. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of leading-edge re-purposing. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to generate without reducing our aptitude to engage. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We think we know that it is better to grow holistically than to repurpose intuitively. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The e-tailers factor is clicks-and-mortar. At AssCo, we understand how to deploy efficiently. We have proven we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also grow intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? The infrastructures factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? Think intuitive. We will intensify our power to actualize without lessening our ability to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C versioning and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ubiquitous project management factor is C2C2B. The iteration factor is subscriber-defined. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to scale intuitively. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will maximize the ability of revolutionary C2C to incentivize. We believe we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also repurpose mega-globally. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capability to extend holistically leads to the capability to e-enable proactively. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for managing new user communities? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergistic paradigms but our capacity to reinvent. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to benchmark magnetically. The capability to cultivate intuitively leads to the power to mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing new portals? We will incubate the power of user interfaces to whiteboard. What does the term "niches" really mean? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. We have come to know that if you brand micro-ultra-robustly then you may also reinvent robustly. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to maximize holistically. Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our killer, strategic subscriber communities and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement.