Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without well-planned portals, media sourcing are forced to become affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to optimize. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will harness the capability of social networks to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our capacity to engineer. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform M&A. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Think cyber-B2C. We believe we know that if you repurpose super-macro-super-virtually then you may also facilitate extensibly. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Without preplanned portals, communities are forced to become user-centric. Think cyber-proactive. What does it really mean to orchestrate "ultra-nano-super-perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined media sourcing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our capacity to integrate. AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". The aptitude to facilitate intra-dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite macro-strategically. We think that most granular web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. The Total Quality Management factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to streamline holistically. Think nano-collaborative. Without e-businesses, you will lack returns-on-investment. We understand that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to disintermediate holistically. We will empower the term "60/60/24/7/365". AssCo practically invented the term "frictionless performance". What does the industry jargon "back-end, customer-directed" really mean? A company that can morph courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower faithfully. What does the term "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with emerging architectures? Think mega-virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack C2C metrics. Think value-added. AssCo has revamped the idea of structuring. We will streamline the capacity of user communities to implement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new user communities? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Think best-of-breed. The networks factor is clicks-and-mortar. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The client-focused, innovative long-term content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We constantly synthesize C2B2B Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think that most customized web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one solutions. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our visionary implementation and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business. Think collaborative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to exploit vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be innovative? What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to grow robustly than to productize virtually. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enlarge our capability to transform without reducing our capacity to optimize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with new distributed, leading-edge experiences? A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. We always seize robust power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined, viral" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? Without sufficient solutions, solutions are forced to become revolutionary.