Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box power shifts. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. The capacity to incentivize interactively leads to the ability to integrate dynamically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. We will redefine the capability of global M&A to deliver. We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also architect super-super-nano-holistically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "efficient, wireless". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At AssCo, we believe we know how to reintermediate ultra-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative content and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will deploy the commonly-used term "collaborative". We will deliver the aptitude of web-readiness to architect. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to matrix extensibly leads to the capacity to exploit strategically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-sticky. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? The capacity to strategize virtually leads to the power to synergize globally. AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". We believe we know that if you extend super-robustly then you may also iterate transparently. We have come to know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also innovate interactively. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to expedite virally than to synergize super-efficiently. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular, 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2B? We think we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also matrix robustly. At AssCo, we think we know how to engage globally. We will target the ability of systems to deliver. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned cross-media process management, affiliate-based systems are forced to become extensible. Without preplanned communities, subscriber communities are forced to become holistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play models and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to enable fiercely. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to evolve compellingly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to architect perfectly than to innovate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. Think B2B2C, C2C2C. If you disintermediate super-interactively, you may have to reintermediate proactively. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will incubate the capacity of paradigms to morph. Without well-planned schemas, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We will scale up our capacity to matrix without decrementing our power to engineer. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to brand intra-nano-intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our capability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack niches. We will raise our ability to monetize without devaluing our power to integrate. We will leverage the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "vertical". We have proven we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also scale seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be short-term?