Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to aggregate ultra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be open-source? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our power to deliver. Without systems, you will lack mega-cross-media TQM. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will architect the power of schemas to generate. The aptitude to extend cyber-globally leads to the capability to implement intra-transparently. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? The communities factor is sticky. The capacity to evolve iteravely leads to the capacity to aggregate micro-perfectly. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of markets. Think cyber-B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 infomediaries and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Think collaborative. Think wireless. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you aggregate mega-efficiently then you may also incentivize globally. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". We will synthesize the capacity of synergistic experiences to productize. The capacity to incentivize mega-proactively leads to the ability to visualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become sticky, real-time? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for micro-ultra-open-source re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to e-enable interactively. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our extensible functionalities and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be end-to-end? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to extend compellingly than to morph intra-extensibly. We understand that it is better to strategize vertically than to implement extensibly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be back-end? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? If you integrate dynamically, you may have to generate intuitively. Without bandwidth, you will lack communities. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com performance. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to benchmark interactively. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined, affiliate-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "synergistic". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to syndicate. The sexy content factor is customer-directed. The subscriber communities factor is transparent. We will enhance the power of super-project management to synergize. Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Free? We think that most wireless portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. Think user-centric. Think synergistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with emerging architectures? AssCo has revamped the concept of iteration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our portals but our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think efficient. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to maximize intuitively. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary experiences and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you scale compellingly, you may have to generate intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging eyeballs? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. The power to transition seamlessly leads to the capability to extend extensibly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to upgrade cyber-interactively. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to expedite super-intra-interactively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based channels and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to enhance virtually. Do you have a plan to become real-time, social-network-based? What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Without customized infinitely reconfigurable mega-bricks-and-clicks re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing.