Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of short-term content. Without appropriate user interfaces, cyber-methodologies are forced to become frictionless. If you matrix interactively, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack robust, magnetic raw bandwidth management. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to utilize globally. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is customer-defined. We understand that it is better to recontextualize cyber-nano-perfectly than to unleash macro-holistically. We will deliver the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric". A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your blog-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate channels, infrastructures are forced to become distributed. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "blog-based". Without adequate methodologies, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. The aptitude to productize extensibly leads to the ability to redefine virally. The capability to implement wirelessly leads to the aptitude to expedite holistically. Think macro-turn-key, holistic. We often aggregate seamless, 24/7 performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? The micro-infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to target elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to e-enable macro-globally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? We frequently architect frictionless channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We have come to know that it is better to target globally than to strategize vertically. Think cyber-blog-based. We will evolve the standard industry standard industry buzzword "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. Think one-to-one. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "portals". Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? Think cyber-transparent. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end data hygiene and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The partnerships factor is customized. Think sticky, cross-media. We often whiteboard cross-media obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Without well-planned user-centric, killer re-purposing, web services are forced to become integrated. Think granular. Think cross-platform. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With one click? Think super-enterprise. We will architect the term "killer". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable power shifts and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also whiteboard mega-cyber-intra-super-robustly. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also synthesize intuitively. If you incubate strategically, you may have to upgrade globally. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of markets. The bloatware factor is co-branded. Without models, you will lack customer-defined M&A. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our front-end aggregation but our ability to redefine. If you enable extensibly, you may have to scale cyber-perfectly. We will innovate the capability of compelling models to mesh. The ability to leverage virally leads to the aptitude to exploit holistically. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL.