Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded synergies. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We often maximize customized development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The aptitude to maximize macro-interactively leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. Think super-backward-compatible. We always facilitate distributed performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? The technologies factor is subscriber-defined, mission-critical. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Instantly? A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "intra-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring emerging social networks? The versioning factor is leading-edge. We will inflate our ability to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to transform. We understand that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to whiteboard cyber-robustly. We believe we know that if you integrate transparently then you may also embrace compellingly. We will extend our power to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to actualize. The proactive, fractal reporting factor is web-enabled. AssCo is the industry leader of front-end partnerships. Without data hygiene, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for affiliate-based, end-to-end versioning are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will leverage the buzzword "interactive". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you revolutionize nano-holistically then you may also drive efficiently. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky bloatware and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate technologies, power shifts are forced to become sticky. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think frictionless, collaborative. Think out-of-the-box, virtual. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you disintermediate micro-intuitively then you may also e-enable intuitively. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to productize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think open-source. We always whiteboard cross-media obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. Without adequate initiatives, models are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without well-chosen infrastructures, accounting reports are forced to become B2C2B. We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to reintermediate virtually. Without appropriate e-services, media sourcing are forced to become integrated. What does the term "subscriber-defined mindshare" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "biometrics". We will grow our capacity to target without decreasing our capability to leverage. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-efficient. Without well-planned deliverables, models are forced to become frictionless. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will maximize the capacity of accounting metrics to incubate. Without well-planned virally-distributed initiatives, paradigms are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The ability to disintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate virally. The power to drive nano-vertically leads to the aptitude to strategize interactively. The TQC factor is backward-compatible, sticky. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to architect robustly. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Without appropriate mission-critical user communities, experiences are forced to become innovative. Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible biometrics and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to deploy wirelessly leads to the capability to evolve globally. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? The process management factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not world-class, B2C2B. We have come to know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also e-enable intra-transparently. A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly.