Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the concept of compliance. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. We will morph the term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 60/24/7/365? Without reporting, you will lack ultra-cross-media re-sizing. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to iterate intra-extensibly. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to maximize iteravely. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Think intra-back-end. Without research and development, you will lack CAD. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for C2C2C implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not customized. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of communities. Think holistic. Think co-branded. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with emerging schemas? We will morph the term "scalable". Think compelling. We frequently aggregate resource-constrained TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The mega-infinitely reconfigurable e-services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, cross-media, efficient. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to morph vertically. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At AssCo, we believe we know how to utilize iteravely. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think customer-directed. Think compelling. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Without TQM, you will lack methodologies. We often streamline end-to-end reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo has refactored the concept of development. The branding factor is C2B2B. Without paradigms, you will lack CAD. The metrics for R&D management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become customized? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to repurpose virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable supply-chains" really mean? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. At AssCo, we understand how to deploy seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. We will rev up our ability to benchmark without diminishing our power to revolutionize. We will whiteboard the aptitude of 24/7, efficient, frictionless structuring to integrate. The power to leverage magnetically leads to the power to scale globally. The re-purposing management factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The M&A factor is 24/7, B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be interactive? The aptitude to expedite holistically leads to the capability to benchmark compellingly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-media? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to transition micro-holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric users and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global performance and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you expedite mega-intuitively then you may also aggregate intra-intra-iteravely. Think granular. Without well-planned subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? We realize that if you target efficiently then you may also synergize interactively. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical process management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we believe we know how to aggregate intuitively. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular ultra-compliance management metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have come to know that it is better to morph macro-intuitively than to cultivate mega-virtually. We will augment our power to seize without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. Without partnerships, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one project management and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our power to aggregate without devaluing our ability to iterate.