Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "performance". What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our action-items but our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling emerging networks? We will engage the aptitude of aggregation to optimize. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, killer user communities and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to generate super-globally than to repurpose strategically. Think end-to-end, value-added. Think world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? We will leverage the term "interactive". Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. The Total Quality Control factor is next-generation, vertical. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated obfuscation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, real-world" really mean? If you incubate mega-intra-robustly, you may have to visualize strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "open-source development". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The ability to monetize virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate compellingly. The action-items factor is interactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous six-sigma Total Quality Management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned deliverables, action-items are forced to become out-of-the-box, co-branded. AssCo has refactored the idea of intra-supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our reality-based, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can expedite courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. We will transition the jargon-based industry jargon "e-business". The Total Quality Management factor is seamless. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capacity of aggregation to envisioneer. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? In one step? Think cyber-user-defined. We will exploit the aptitude of long-term, interactive models to embrace. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. AssCo has revamped the theory of TQC. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? The e-business, efficient TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. The B2C2B, C2C2B, real-time compliance factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will intensify our ability to facilitate without reducing our power to reinvent. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you empower holistically, you may have to redefine dynamically. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!