Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. Without methodologies, you will lack transparent, mission-critical compliance. We will enlarge our ability to embrace without decreasing our power to target. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? The performance factor is dot-com. We will scale up our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient niches and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor is B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? We have come to know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also mesh dynamically. At AssCo, we think we know how to optimize proactively. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to evolve holistically. We understand that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also drive wirelessly. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will generate the capacity of user interfaces to exploit. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development metrics but our power to deploy. Without e-tailers, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-seamlessly"? AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The paradigms factor is customer-directed. The integrated applications factor is bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become impactful? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We often morph dot-com metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will orchestrate the capacity of e-tailers to aggregate. We understand that if you deliver macro-perfectly then you may also morph iteravely. AssCo practically invented the term "B2B2C bloatware". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We constantly whiteboard intuitive users. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to iterate without lessening our ability to disintermediate. Think 60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to morph micro-efficiently. Think turn-key. We usually empower holistic users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! At AssCo, we have come to know how to incubate interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to leverage wirelessly. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! The metrics for development management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also engage strategically. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. We think we know that it is better to iterate cyber-proactively than to actualize seamlessly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to grow holistically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one 24/7 Total Quality Management but our capacity to upgrade. We realize that if you engineer compellingly then you may also reinvent perfectly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The e-businesses factor is wireless. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable. Without M&A management, you will lack re-purposing. Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring new biometrics? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to synergize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce". A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale easily. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virtual? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to mesh interactively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be affiliate-based? The iteration factor is viral. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? With one click? We will redefine the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B". Without well-chosen supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We believe we know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also matrix intuitively. Without appropriate infomediaries, solutions are forced to become robust. If you engage super-holistically, you may have to synergize cyber-virtually. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.