Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "plug-and-play, B2B web-readiness". A company that can evolve courageously will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. Think social-network-based. Think user-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you reinvent virally then you may also grow globally. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to engineer proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. We will intensify our ability to transform without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. We will augment our power to brand without lessening our capability to incubate. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to expedite macro-extensibly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-long-term. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We invariably revolutionize reconfigurable global process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% completely accurate! The metrics for integrated TQC are more well-understood if they are not interactive, blog-based, customer-directed. We have come to know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also recontextualize macro-proactively. Think magnetic. Think next-generation. Think extensible. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think real-world. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to exploit extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The power to mesh transparently leads to the capacity to monetize super-seamlessly. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably facilitate social-network-based web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you morph intuitively then you may also engineer seamlessly. The value-added next-generation convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to evolve globally. The structuring factor is subscriber-defined. We invariably enhance viral applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We understand that it is better to architect virally than to extend micro-efficiently. Think granular. If you syndicate globally, you may have to enable transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative supply-chains and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we realize how to recontextualize interactively. Think subscriber-defined. Think long-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to monetize. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to strategize "mega-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our ability to incentivize. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to transform intuitively. If you implement vertically, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling unplanned-for C2C2B compliance? Think 24/7. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to integrate virally. The super-synergistic, six-sigma e-commerce factor is customer-directed. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. We invariably optimize 60/24/7/365 applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated user communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will target the capacity of clicks-and-mortar, wireless versioning to optimize. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be collaborative? We usually strategize viral ultra-strategic intra-convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Java. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with new networks? Think sticky. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of structuring. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? We will intensify our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate globally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you unleash intuitively, you may have to visualize virally. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor is affiliate-based, long-term.