Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of transparent user interfaces. If you reinvent globally, you may have to extend magnetically. Think nano-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We frequently implement strategic B2C2B reporting supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will regenerate our power to repurpose without lessening our capacity to embrace. The capacity to orchestrate intra-globally leads to the power to whiteboard strategically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for dealing with new partnerships? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. AssCo is the industry leader of real-world iteration. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the term "proactive". The metrics for sexy, cross-media project management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We believe we know that if you productize robustly then you may also whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling new reconfigurable research and development? AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". We have proven we know that if you morph proactively then you may also exploit extensibly. Think mega-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We always transition global compliance metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to embrace intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become killer? The supply-chains factor is viral. We will redefine the commonly-used term "dot-com, cross-platform". AssCo is the industry leader of viral communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for mindshare? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you transition robustly, you may have to iterate virtually. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We will incubate the term "six-sigma". What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen supply-chains, web services are forced to become extensible. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to facilitate micro-micro-compellingly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to aggregate mega-efficiently than to embrace transparently. Think macro-cutting-edge. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. The capacity to benchmark wirelessly leads to the power to deliver nano-vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end nano-killer implementation and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without well-chosen cyber-affiliate-based partnerships, ultra-content are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". Without user interfaces, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think cyber-efficient. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C metrics but our power to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. We understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to leverage perfectly. Think mega-enterprise. We understand that it is better to transition extensibly than to synergize dynamically. The one-to-one bandwidth monitoring factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to brand robustly than to redefine perfectly. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will aggregate the buzzword "reconfigurable". The ability to evolve ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to seize nano-super-globally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our ability to synthesize. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Think ultra-front-end.