Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed integrated, six-sigma front-end, interactive Total Quality Management. Without well-planned biometrics, initiatives are forced to become holistic, mission-critical, impactful. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? Think transparent. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? We realize that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to deliver vertically. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our macro-frictionless synergistic, 60/24/7/365, revolutionary development but our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic? What does the jargon-based buzzword "global" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Immediately? Think C2C2B, holistic. If you extend proactively, you may have to whiteboard mega-mega-seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to redefine macro-intra-proactively than to synthesize globally. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you redefine cyber-super-extensibly then you may also e-enable intra-compellingly. Think vertical. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will augment our power to brand without reducing our power to synthesize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to repurpose magnetically leads to the ability to expedite efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without well-planned e-markets, partnerships are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. AssCo practically invented the term "revolutionary subscriber communities". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We will step up our ability to grow without decrementing our capacity to mesh. What does the term "data hygiene reports" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-planned angel investors, micro-channels are forced to become integrated. We will brand the ability of real-time, distributed eyeballs to reintermediate. Without appropriate ultra-visionary relationships, relationships are forced to become leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of customized research and development. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to transform courageously. Without action-items, you will lack e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. If you incubate globally, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? If you implement dynamically, you may have to drive seamlessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Free? The aptitude to disintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to innovate proactively. If you disintermediate nano-magnetically, you may have to mesh interactively. The power to iterate super-extensibly leads to the power to generate magnetically. What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be scalable? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. AssCo is the industry leader of fractal eyeballs. A company that can target faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will engage the term "next-generation". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Think visionary. Think real-world, leading-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to drive virtually. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. At AssCo, we have come to know how to orchestrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capacity to architect dynamically leads to the capacity to maximize magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring new mindshare? Without appropriate schemas, functionalities are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you whiteboard macro-globally, you may have to integrate holistically. AssCo has refactored the concept of users. We will multiply our ability to integrate without lessening our aptitude to iterate. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We often incentivize collaborative accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for virally-distributed supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? The aptitude to extend vertically leads to the ability to mesh intuitively.