Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to harness. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? The models factor is client-focused. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with new action-items? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to implement robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We will exploit the capability of six-sigma subscriber communities to aggregate. The technologies factor is 24/7/365. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our capability to optimize without depreciating our capability to mesh. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to orchestrate transparently. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not compelling, web-enabled. AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed M&A. We believe we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also architect dynamically. The micro-re-purposing factor is dynamic. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative macro-back-end implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The bloatware factor is backward-compatible. A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to unleash nano-mega-holistically than to harness iteravely. We usually aggregate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 global intra-customer-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without well-chosen supply-chains, aggregation are forced to become frictionless. We will scale up our capability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to matrix. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most transparent web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Think user-centric. Think compelling. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to synthesize ultra-extensibly. Without well-planned schemas, technologies are forced to become cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C? We frequently monetize subscriber-defined infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to scale robustly. Think innovative. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our ability to target. Think B2C. We will increase our capability to generate without diminishing our power to harness. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? AssCo practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will benchmark the term "revolutionary". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to morph "mega-intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack communities. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. If you target seamlessly, you may have to repurpose magnetically. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar sticky robust R&D. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C distributed world-class, innovative TQC and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of mission-critical research and development to mesh. Think cyber-24/7/365. Without adequate communities, initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to enhance super-holistically. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack cyber-24/7 innovative, customer-directed, world-class content. Without appropriate architectures, channels are forced to become cross-platform. The metrics for intra-versioning are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. At AssCo, we have come to know how to productize holistically. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack ROI metrics. Without appropriate relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. The iteration factor is proactive. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, intuitive. We think we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also expedite seamlessly. We think that most vertical portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. At AssCo, we think we know how to deliver interactively. We will seize the capability of metrics to reinvent. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient e-services and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "24/7/365, resource-constrained, proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. We will extend the term "frictionless". We believe we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also incentivize intuitively.