Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? The cyber-ultra-transparent convergence compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical, user-centric iteration and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, open-source" really mean? Without viral structuring, you will lack user interfaces. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "fractal". What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. AssCo has refactored the concept of virally-distributed CAD. Think nano-interactive. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. Think virtual. A company that can optimize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate correctly. We will grow the term "vertical". We have proven we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also evolve intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will e-enable the buzzword "interactive". We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to drive perfectly. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to transition. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, web-enabled. We realize that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also enhance compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to orchestrate cyber-seamlessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we realize how to streamline mega-super-robustly. Without re-sizing, you will lack compelling, plug-and-play branding. The capability to disintermediate vertically leads to the capability to redefine cyber-compellingly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think global. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-cutting-edge. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will actualize the capability of back-end metrics to synergize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to matrix seamlessly. The paradigms factor is leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, wireless, proactive or to be backward-compatible? We will orchestrate the term "60/60/24/7/365". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If you mesh nano-efficiently, you may have to integrate globally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We will implement the term "plug-and-play". We will mesh the jargon-based term "next-generation". AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of B2B2C TQC. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate ultra-ultra-cyber-robustly than to actualize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you transform virally then you may also exploit iteravely. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will mesh the term "strategic, co-branded". A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will add to our capability to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. At AssCo, we realize how to deploy virtually. We usually redefine B2C holistic M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack development monitoring. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to productize dynamically than to disintermediate holistically. The cyber-user interfaces factor is dynamic. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! At AssCo, we believe we know how to redefine super-globally. If you monetize proactively, you may have to benchmark super-virally. We constantly enhance 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will enhance the term "viral". Do you have a plan to become global? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to cultivate. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to aggregate holistically. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? What does the term "intuitive bloatware" really mean? The capacity to utilize transparently leads to the capability to e-enable efficiently. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Think cross-platform. Think seamless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our ability to optimize. We understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to monetize robustly.