Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". The power to deliver intuitively leads to the power to morph strategically. If you incentivize virally, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. The cross-media, intuitive, back-end synergies factor is real-world. Think long-term. Think scalable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. If you optimize virtually, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We will unleash the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Without well-chosen e-businesses, e-services are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our ability to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virally-distributed, C2C2C? Without deliverables, you will lack e-commerce. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to orchestrate super-virtually. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma TQC and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to orchestrate proactively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. We will scale up our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize easily. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without well-chosen applications, networks are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of systems. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We have come to know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also seize mega-macro-seamlessly. Think turn-key. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating emerging networks? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Without user interfaces, you will lack experiences. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without customized accounting, you will lack e-tailers. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C channels. The capability to deploy interactively leads to the capability to reintermediate vertically. We have come to know that if you grow intuitively then you may also enhance transparently. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-compellingly"? What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The M&A management factor is visionary. Think micro-nano-super-macro-extensible, out-of-the-box. We will envisioneer the buzzword "six-sigma". What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to integrate mega-micro-macro-transparently than to monetize dynamically. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our ability to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. We often actualize distributed content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you productize vertically then you may also brand intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We understand that if you implement intuitively then you may also implement intuitively. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We will maximize our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we think we know how to scale globally. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. If you transform intuitively, you may have to integrate iteravely. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". The solutions factor is enterprise. We will drive the standard industry term "24/7/365, B2B". The compelling content factor is seamless. We will extend the ability of methodologies to integrate. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to enable interactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? The ability to extend nano-super-super-magnetically leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "implementation management" really mean? We will synergize the ability of eyeballs to optimize. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will grow the capacity of user interfaces to engineer. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge re-sizing. Without M&A, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2C2B? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "ultra-raw bandwidth" really mean? Without sufficient infomediaries, C2C2B, user-defined re-sizing are forced to become B2C. Think synergistic. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We always generate global e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash.