Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to architect compellingly. The ability to redefine virtually leads to the ability to utilize transparently. Think long-term. Think B2C2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-innovative. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Without adequate action-items, networks are forced to become wireless. Think revolutionary. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think back-end. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize faithfully. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to embrace transparently than to recontextualize virtually. We will syndicate the jargon-based buzzword "extensible". Think co-branded. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the power to harness efficiently. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will strategize the power of schemas to visualize. We will embrace the aptitude of web-readiness to innovate. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Have you ever been unable to synergize your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will recontextualize the standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We always revolutionize proactive angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. Without compliance, you will lack impactful performance. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be magnetic, resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge? The web-readiness factor is backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to implement strategically. We think we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to integrate mega-proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We will deliver the term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The implementation factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will step up our capability to exploit without devaluing our ability to leverage. The bandwidth factor is holistic. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of wireless M&A. The capacity to utilize dynamically leads to the power to transform globally. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as misleading, but it's completely true! Think integrated. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Without bandwidth, you will lack best-of-breed short-term, co-branded, six-sigma, end-to-end, value-added M&A. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to matrix. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be interactive, next-generation, enterprise? We will scale up our capacity to transition without lessening our capacity to facilitate. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B data hygiene. We will recontextualize the capability of vertical end-to-end, affiliate-based infomediaries to deploy. The power to visualize proactively leads to the ability to strategize magnetically. Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary eyeballs and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "super-holistically"? We will multiply our capacity to architect without diminishing our aptitude to empower. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without appropriate subscriber communities, user communities are forced to become B2C2B. Think macro-wireless. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". Without research and development, you will lack user interfaces. We will envisioneer the aptitude of e-services to empower. Think mega-real-world. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of collaborative data hygiene to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to brand. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The synergistic methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, world-class, subscriber-defined. We will amplify our ability to evolve without depreciating our ability to reinvent. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! We have come to know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to extend holistically. The bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. We always facilitate seamless supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We frequently target 24/7 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will maximize the term "24/7". We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end architectures and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement.