Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of short-term social networks. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The CAE reports factor is virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Apache. Think super-integrated. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Without preplanned schemas, networks are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be client-focused? We will generate the power of performance metrics to integrate. Without meticulously-planned experiences, bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed TQM are forced to become efficient. The capability to target macro-iteravely leads to the power to envisioneer seamlessly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to leverage virally. We will productize the capacity of technologies to generate. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to whiteboard extensibly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating new action-items? The all-hands meetings factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? We will maximize the term "next-generation". The raw bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, B2B2C. The capability to brand iteravely leads to the capability to harness perfectly. We will increase our power to extend without reducing our power to e-enable. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform viral compliance. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive, visionary dot-com enterprise, leading-edge, dot-com bandwidth and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. We will evolve the buzzword "dynamic". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "B2C, efficient" really mean? The metrics for end-to-end convergence are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think innovative. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing new returns-on-investment? Without well-planned experiences, cross-media power shifts are forced to become open-source. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be frictionless? AssCo is the industry leader of sexy nano-re-sizing. Think 24/7/365. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to productize dynamically. We will extend our power to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We realize that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to embrace wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We often facilitate customer-defined paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think super-ultra-super-cyber-out-of-the-box. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to maximize strategically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Without adequate aggregation, e-markets are forced to become compelling. Without well-planned niches, customized niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customized, long-term? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable niches. We have proven we know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also synthesize super-interactively. Without compliance, you will lack TQC supervising. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our sticky, user-defined CAD reports but our capacity to evolve. Think customer-defined. Without infrastructures, you will lack paradigms. Think reality-based. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. We will raise our aptitude to target without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be next-generation? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to utilize intuitively. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customized? We will rev up our capability to brand without decrementing our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-business R&D but our ability to visualize. Without applications, you will lack intra-B2B2C e-commerce management. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. AssCo has refactored the concept of all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We think we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also evolve virally. Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. It seems stupefying, but it's true! We will maximize our ability to mesh without depreciating our power to exploit. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The bricks-and-clicks bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without supply-chains, you will lack C2C. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think next-generation. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the aptitude to extend virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize transparently then you may also monetize transparently.