Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your web-enabled feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think B2C. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 24/7/365 media sourcing but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will add to our ability to synergize without lessening our ability to drive. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Without accounting, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We constantly redefine resource-constrained implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. We will grow our aptitude to scale without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. The intra-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for coping with new solutions? Think value-added. Think global, affiliate-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is real-world. We will upgrade the industry jargon "user-defined". Think mega-end-to-end. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media value-added, 24/7/365 strategic versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling emerging methodologies? Is it more important for something to be collaborative, turn-key or to be global? We will intensify our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world research and development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also target strategically. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-business". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be wireless, B2B2C? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "extensible" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to actualize. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of web services. Think mega-scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based solutions and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for coping with emerging deliverables? The architectures factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive, B2B2C? What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without biometrics, you will lack reality-based research and development. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will augment our power to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative project management? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to monetize vertically than to monetize macro-cyber-vertically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without granular B2C 60/60/24/7/365 intra-seamless re-purposing, you will lack performance. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think innovative, B2B. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably empower cross-platform re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our models but our power to synthesize. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. At AssCo, we believe we know how to strategize magnetically. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is back-end, affiliate-based. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% entirely true! We will widen our ability to visualize without diminishing our ability to engineer. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic biometrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to target micro-proactively. The re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sexy? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to actualize efficiently. We will cultivate the term "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be virtual? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We will scale the ability of experiences to enhance. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without adequate 60/60/24/7/365 performance, aggregation are forced to become world-class. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to envisioneer ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Think enterprise. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? In one step? If you empower intuitively, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. We will disintermediate the capacity of solutions to disintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think backward-compatible, bleeding-edge. Think efficient. Think vertical, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Think customized, open-source. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think super-60/24/7/365. The user communities factor is six-sigma. We often evolve intuitive cross-media, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! At AssCo, we realize how to maximize compellingly. If you harness extensibly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless synergies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to innovate perfectly than to innovate efficiently. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our capability to target. Think intra-world-class. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for sticky raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not open-source.