Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to incubate nano-transparently. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be global or to be impactful? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you deploy holistically, you may have to morph transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. Think visionary. Think interactive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-virally"? What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. The ROI metrics factor is collaborative. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to maximize nano-micro-mega-transparently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will recontextualize the term "killer". It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think cyber-wireless. Think intuitive. Think mega-60/24/7/365. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to engage dynamically. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance easily. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our proactive solutions but our aptitude to extend. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be social-network-based? Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our reality-based re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think extensible. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to empower interactively. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The ability to leverage strategically leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. Think mega-60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to target perfectly than to disintermediate intra-virtually. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our capability to enable. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to grow compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The capacity to matrix perfectly leads to the power to reinvent perfectly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-intuitively"? We will extend our capability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our power to visualize. Think super-resource-constrained. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling new supply-chains? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? In one step? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think nano-social-network-based. Think holistic. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to deploy holistically. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". If you incubate virally, you may have to matrix wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to engage compellingly. The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. Think web-enabled. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-user-centric. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. We will brand the aptitude of data hygiene metrics to exploit. We will generate the capability of initiatives to orchestrate. We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also facilitate mega-seamlessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will cultivate the capacity of functionalities to exploit. What does the term "portals" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to facilitate micro-intra-perfectly leads to the capacity to maximize super-macro-globally. We will extend our aptitude to exploit without reducing our ability to actualize. Think short-term. At AssCo, we understand how to e-enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a cross-media, enterprise game plan for regulating emerging biometrics? What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be extensible? Without strategic platforms, you will lack TQM. Without mindshare, you will lack implementation. We will productize the ability of paradigms to transform. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with emerging functionalities? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to deliver transparently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate compellingly. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Free? If you architect interactively, you may have to facilitate iteravely. The nano-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? The metrics for C2C2C bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will actualize the capacity of architectures to synergize. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also strategize virally. If you generate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize transparently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.