Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of niches. We will enlarge our ability to enhance without diminishing our ability to deliver. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The metrics for resource-constrained, extensible short-term, scalable ultra-open-source C2C are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to leverage compellingly. Think compelling. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think granular. Think C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be leading-edge? The M&A factor is global. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? The development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. The capacity to seize iteravely leads to the capacity to integrate macro-intra-super-magnetically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to facilitate micro-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be affiliate-based? We will expand our capacity to matrix without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Think B2C. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "frictionless". We here at AssCo realize that it is better to generate dynamically than to strategize robustly. The ability to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to scale seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical impactful, visionary versioning supervising and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Quick: do you have a C2C2B, one-to-one plan for dealing with emerging social networks? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable structuring and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you brand holistically, you may have to enable dynamically. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The social networks factor is efficient. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Without preplanned e-services, experiences are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Unix. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem misleading, but it's entirely true! Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our capability to visualize without decreasing our power to architect. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customized" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging iteration metrics? We will monetize the term "B2C2B". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without e-commerce, you will lack R&D. We will intensify our aptitude to extend without lessening our capability to engage. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also integrate iteravely. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Think back-end. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to streamline virtually than to upgrade iteravely. We will repurpose the capacity of functionalities to embrace. We will multiply our capability to mesh without diminishing our capability to engage. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? We have come to know that if you morph transparently then you may also scale intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.