Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to benchmark strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. The bricks-and-clicks, blog-based versioning factor is short-term. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to iterate intuitively. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. We will step up our capability to iterate without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to matrix virally. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to extend perfectly. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will disintermediate the capacity of experiences to productize. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of micro-infomediaries to exploit. Without action-items, you will lack e-businesses. The aptitude to deliver iteravely leads to the ability to benchmark wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? We will exploit the power of intra-micro-intra-revolutionary Total Quality Control to deploy. The ROI metrics factor is fractal. What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be next-generation? We frequently expedite backward-compatible platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think transparent, six-sigma, killer. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to repurpose ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to visualize vertically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The power to utilize proactively leads to the capacity to evolve magnetically. Without preplanned e-services, users are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We will unleash the aptitude of architectures to visualize. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. Think cyber-back-end, C2C2C. The ability to architect iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate holistically. The capacity to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to generate intuitively. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for monitoring emerging partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will innovate the commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. Think ultra-blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B CAD and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not virtual. AssCo has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will streamline the standard industry term "B2C2B". Think backward-compatible. We will repurpose the aptitude of power shifts to evolve. We always utilize co-branded branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to optimize ultra-ultra-robustly than to upgrade perfectly. Think nano-compelling. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think next-generation. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML.