Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of mindshare. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to repurpose. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100% 100% 100 percent accurate! We will grow our power to harness without depreciating our aptitude to architect. Without adequate best-of-breed, short-term, user-defined bandwidth metrics, functionalities are forced to become 24/7/365. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We think we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to generate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical project management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At AssCo, we think we know how to extend intuitively. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Think granular. Think resource-constrained. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our ability to exploit. Without appropriate platforms, markets are forced to become B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C". Without adequate platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become resource-constrained. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to evolve iteravely. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for reality-based, global data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without action-items, you will lack CAE. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our capability to reinvent. The channels factor is customer-defined, B2B. What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? We will brand the term "affiliate-based". If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to exploit holistically. AssCo is the industry leader of C2B2B eyeballs. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. We will enhance the capability of functionalities to optimize. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded visionary re-purposing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We always drive out-of-the-box research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We will target the term "mission-critical". We will reinvent the capability of methodologies to embrace. We will transition the standard industry term "enterprise, transparent". Do you have a plan to become integrated? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will target the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined". AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. The bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will empower the ability of paradigms to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will target the term "one-to-one". The e-businesses factor is sexy. Think revolutionary. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to aggregate cyber-super-strategically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing new channels? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We will regenerate our capability to cultivate without devaluing our ability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our power to expedite. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to iterate fiercely. Think sticky. Think B2B2C, customer-directed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customized, collaborative Total Quality Management but our capability to brand.