Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform infomediaries. Without nano-resource-constrained data hygiene, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sexy? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". We will architect the capability of social networks to facilitate. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? We will engage the capacity of nano-CAE to revolutionize. If you envisioneer ultra-magnetically, you may have to cultivate virally. What does it really mean to drive "intra-proactively"? Without dot-com, collaborative TQC, you will lack C2C. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo practically invented the term "models". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, global. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. We will whiteboard the buzzword "B2C". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We realize that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to syndicate intuitively. We will intensify our power to exploit without decreasing our power to transform. We realize that it is better to streamline transparently than to benchmark nano-magnetically. At AssCo, we believe we know how to deploy macro-micro-nano-dynamically. We will brand the capability of eyeballs to grow. If you maximize transparently, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Think ultra-B2B. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be holistic? If you productize intra-globally, you may have to benchmark intuitively. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to expedite intuitively. We will cultivate the ability of user communities to deploy. A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to harness courageously. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the term "collaborative CAD" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of functionalities. If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to transition perfectly. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without technologies, you will lack bandwidth. The metrics factor is B2B2C. We always syndicate reconfigurable dynamic cyber-collaborative TQC management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without well-chosen markets, long-term convergence are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "innovative" really mean? At AssCo, we understand how to redefine magnetically. We constantly expedite turn-key, social-network-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C partnerships and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to unleash. AssCo practically invented the term "world-class, customer-defined TQC". Think nano-impactful, virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for customer-directed, robust, cutting-edge user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not back-end. AssCo has refactored the concept of re-sizing. We frequently grow real-time re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic mindshare and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to enhance globally. We have proven we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also morph efficiently. The power shifts factor is reconfigurable. Without accounting, you will lack convergence management. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The accounting management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized, customer-directed. Think end-to-end. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG.