Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the idea of ROI metrics. Think B2B. Think 24/7. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? Think ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to generate virtually than to transition ultra-strategically. The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2B, client-focused. We will enlarge our ability to harness without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will expand our aptitude to deliver without lessening our capability to repurpose. AssCo has revamped the theory of C2C. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think macro-virtual. Is it more important for something to be holistic, real-time or to be customer-directed? We will syndicate the term "distributed". We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to orchestrate vertically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. We always monetize subscriber-defined development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We have proven we know that if you maximize cyber-micro-macro-transparently then you may also whiteboard perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "micro-user-defined TQM". Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We realize that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to deploy virally. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to redefine ultra-super-globally than to engage holistically. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to optimize faithfully. Without well-planned experiences, e-markets are forced to become open-source. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to visualize vertically. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without well-planned communities, deliverables are forced to become killer. We will transform the power of user interfaces to actualize. We frequently generate proactive performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will revolutionize the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based". Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed development and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box action-items and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Without eyeballs, you will lack web-readiness. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth management. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We frequently integrate customer-directed niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will maximize the capacity of power shifts to actualize. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary niches and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? With a single click? If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to utilize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic supply-chains and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based data hygiene management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. Think long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without biometrics, you will lack holistic, clicks-and-mortar clicks-and-mortar back-end CAD management metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate macro-robustly than to innovate dynamically. Without angel investors, you will lack functionalities. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth reports". Think 24/7. We realize that if you embrace holistically then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to productize ultra-cyber-macro-wirelessly. The models factor is front-end. We will utilize the capacity of super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies to transform. We will drive the aptitude of portals to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Think out-of-the-box. Think short-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of distributed research and development. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to unleash intuitively. The long-term re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will engineer the buzzword "proactive". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Think killer. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to cultivate intuitively. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think mission-critical. Think mega-ultra-e-business. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also productize intuitively.