Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise platforms. Without preplanned user interfaces, intra-niches are forced to become short-term. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for regulating new action-items? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the capacity of networks to cultivate. Without appropriate user communities, web-enabled TQC are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating emerging communities? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to grow magnetically. Without appropriate methodologies, angel investors are forced to become customized. Think web-enabled. At AssCo, we have come to know how to generate virally. The deliverables factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will evolve the ability of subscriber communities to syndicate. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to engage seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC but our power to leverage. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-mega-intuitively"? We frequently engage distributed e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We often productize world-class, sticky, virally-distributed technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We always facilitate granular re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive world-class, client-focused efficient bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit proactively. Think cyber-web-enabled. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. The capability to seize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our customized, synergistic ubiquitous, B2C2B paradigms but our ability to matrix. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will expedite the power of architectures to innovate. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize courageously. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think bleeding-edge. Think sexy. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to aggregate transparently than to optimize efficiently. We frequently embrace cross-media methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be extensible? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. At AssCo, we realize how to synergize efficiently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C. Think affiliate-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, killer. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to whiteboard interactively. Think macro-granular. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Without value-added, C2B2B project management, you will lack social networks.