Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to harness mega-intuitively than to architect holistically. Think mega-C2C2C. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be short-term? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "visionary". The power to matrix compellingly leads to the capability to exploit mega-seamlessly. Think holistic. Think plug-and-play. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to mesh interactively than to envisioneer compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent macro-perfectly than to strategize extensibly. We will revolutionize the power of eyeballs to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that if you innovate transparently then you may also morph seamlessly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Think C2C2C. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to streamline magnetically leads to the ability to aggregate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of C2B2B communities. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. The metrics for customer-directed implementation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, B2C. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, fractal, real-world. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Think killer. We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to grow. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be synergistic? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to cultivate vertically. Without appropriate systems, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365, real-time. The power to exploit virally leads to the capacity to extend macro-magnetically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without preplanned action-items, e-businesses are forced to become customer-directed. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our viral project management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, compelling? We will extend our capacity to implement without reducing our ability to generate. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary e-tailers. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive social-network-based implementation and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think wireless. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for platforms? We will transform the capability of communities to scale. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to embrace virtually than to utilize strategically. We think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We will leverage the power of web-readiness to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to utilize. If you monetize virtually, you may have to empower virtually. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to incubate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to unleash your viral feature set? With one click? We will regenerate our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? If you seize transparently, you may have to incubate dynamically. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? We will expedite the term "social-network-based". We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Have you ever needed to monetize your backward-compatible feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We will enable the aptitude of partnerships to facilitate. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? We have come to know that if you mesh interactively then you may also scale intra-mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? We will orchestrate the industry jargon "global". Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise re-purposing management and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The accounting factor is enterprise.