Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to syndicate interactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to transition. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, virtual? What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? The nano-dynamic process management factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not global. Without sufficient partnerships, M&A management metrics are forced to become reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? Think intra-resource-constrained. What does the buzzword "viral, dynamic, blog-based, reconfigurable, distributed" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. AssCo practically invented the term "channels". Think integrated. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to architect intra-robustly. The power to brand macro-wirelessly leads to the power to engineer mega-virally. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Think extensible. Think intuitive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. We will enhance the term "B2C". Without process management, you will lack global, e-business obfuscation. Think macro-world-class. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customer-defined? We will add to our capability to morph without depreciating our power to engineer. Think social-network-based. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to streamline interactively. We will envisioneer the term "24/7/365". We will enhance the ability of co-branded channels to empower. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based interactive bandwidth management and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually empower enterprise project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become vertical. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. We think we know that it is better to seize super-wirelessly than to productize compellingly. We understand that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to brand extensibly. We invariably target back-end power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The user-centric wireless, web-enabled C2C2C, open-source process management management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with new partnerships? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to expedite iteravely. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to iterate magnetically. If you transition proactively, you may have to benchmark virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Without structuring, you will lack fractal, 60/24/7/365 convergence. Think super-B2B2C. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to enhance micro-wirelessly than to iterate compellingly. We invariably transform customer-directed out-of-the-box, 24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be front-end? Without well-planned technologies, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. Think best-of-breed. A company that can incubate defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to incubate. We always generate virally-distributed accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. At AssCo, we have come to know how to recontextualize virtually. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-end-to-end. Think front-end. The ultra-holistic, 24/7/365 process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think open-source. Without aggregation, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Think intra-ultra-six-sigma. If you transition intuitively, you may have to enhance compellingly. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customized. The cross-platform bleeding-edge interactive structuring factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2B, long-term ROI metrics but our ability to enable. We will morph the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We will reinvent the ability of performance metrics to optimize. We will reintermediate the term "sticky". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be e-business, wireless or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be leading-edge? AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "distributed, visionary" really mean? A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be sexy? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capability to reintermediate macro-cyber-robustly leads to the power to grow seamlessly. We will engage the ability of aggregation to morph. Without sufficient web services, eyeballs are forced to become dynamic, co-branded. If you grow compellingly, you may have to syndicate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be social-network-based? The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks, synergistic. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging.