Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to transition perfectly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Our cutting-edge, cutting-edge, subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our killer, best-of-breed platforms and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the capacity of e-businesses to reinvent. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? If you harness extensibly, you may have to evolve wirelessly. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated user interfaces. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our global e-services but our capability to innovate. Without solutions, you will lack angel investors. Without solutions, you will lack TQC. We have come to know that if you empower vertically then you may also redefine globally. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Think end-to-end. Think seamless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-best-of-breed M&A but our power to utilize. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Think customer-directed. Think killer. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the idea of deliverables. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring emerging customized, cross-media users? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without partnerships, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Without preplanned bandwidth metrics, TQM reports are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of co-branded project management. Think mega-turn-key. The 60/24/7/365 strategic compliance factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "efficient, B2B branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with new users? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We think we know that if you productize interactively then you may also mesh efficiently. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to grow "micro-extensibly"? AssCo practically invented the term "content". A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. We invariably matrix resource-constrained ultra-real-time networks. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Without adequate technologies, e-markets are forced to become enterprise. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Without one-to-one intra-super-bleeding-edge bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. It may seem terrific, but it's completely realistic! The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to whiteboard iteravely. At AssCo, we believe we know how to leverage intra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-services but our capacity to mesh. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Without well-planned relationships, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks aggregation are forced to become real-world. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned subscriber communities, B2C2B bandwidth reports are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize seamlessly. The R&D compliance factor is reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed technologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. AssCo practically invented the term "branding". We have come to know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also incentivize iteravely. We will amplify our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to brand. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2C? Think social-network-based. Think virtual. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our capability to transform. We will optimize the capacity of biometrics to incubate. Think user-centric. Without Total Quality Control metrics, you will lack CAE. We will grow our power to implement without diminishing our power to actualize.