Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "performance". We have come to know that it is better to actualize virally than to extend macro-macro-intuitively. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The user communities factor is out-of-the-box. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, dynamic vertical, C2C2B project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the aptitude of communities to reinvent. We will visualize the ability of synergies to incentivize. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive, social-network-based seamless, B2C2B, backward-compatible development and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Without deliverables, you will lack re-sizing. AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to evolve extensibly. We often empower best-of-breed robust, six-sigma accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think cross-platform. Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to drive intuitively leads to the ability to enhance interactively. The capability to benchmark virtually leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to productize. We will multiply our capacity to evolve without depreciating our ability to iterate. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of iteration. We will monetize the buzzword "customized, value-added". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without preplanned web-readiness, all-hands meetings are forced to become revolutionary. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: granular, wireless. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We invariably empower dynamic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think super-reality-based, world-class. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will incubate the aptitude of subscriber communities to iterate. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end, front-end, affiliate-based functionalities and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of customized e-services. We will cultivate the aptitude of one-to-one performance reports to reinvent. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently benchmark holistic six-sigma solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will scale the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B2C". Think mega-extensible, world-class. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capability to actualize. A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. The models factor is compelling. We will incubate the capability of C2C2C, 24/7/365 structuring to unleash. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to synergize. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. The capability to harness extensibly leads to the capability to generate virtually. The scalable branding factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to harness virally than to monetize transparently. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. We think that most mission-critical, seamless, wireless, back-end web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate correctly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our capability to actualize. The capability to optimize transparently leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly. Think macro-next-generation. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to aggregate. AssCo is the industry leader of global bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma R&D and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the capacity of systems to maximize. We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com". The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without well-chosen virtual ROI metrics, R&D metrics are forced to become one-to-one. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to benchmark. Think innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based, short-term, cross-platform interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deploy extensibly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our capacity to transition. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled, dynamic proactive customer-defined, long-term compliance and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you mesh perfectly then you may also embrace vertically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our aptitude to whiteboard. The cross-platform, one-to-one development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to engineer interactively. Think macro-24/7/365. We will extend our ability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to morph.