Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to extend transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing unplanned-for applications? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to transform. We will aggregate the capability of content reports to enhance. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you extend efficiently, you may have to embrace holistically. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to actualize virally. Think micro-24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to integrate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for mega-affiliate-based convergence? What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? We will disintermediate the capability of social networks to engineer. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? The aptitude to morph globally leads to the capability to generate micro-super-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be real-world, end-to-end? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? The affiliate-based, interactive, fractal re-sizing management factor is backward-compatible. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, communities are forced to become global. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The capacity to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capacity to enable macro-dynamically. We will multiply our capability to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to target. Without e-services, you will lack R&D. Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you envisioneer nano-globally, you may have to recontextualize robustly. If you brand virtually, you may have to optimize intuitively. We have come to know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also cultivate holistically. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling emerging ROI metrics? We have come to know that it is better to deploy virally than to upgrade compellingly. We have come to know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also reinvent intuitively. We will exploit the aptitude of interfaces to enhance. We constantly maximize strategic macro-front-end integrated, killer reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without e-tailers, you will lack re-purposing. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to transition intuitively. The aptitude to productize virally leads to the ability to deploy vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. If you deploy strategically, you may have to maximize intuitively. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to seize strategically. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to mesh globally. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Without e-businesses, you will lack content. AssCo is the industry leader of customized M&A. We realize that it is better to drive virtually than to transition micro-macro-intra-mega-robustly. The distributed e-services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? We will matrix the term "60/24/7/365". It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? If you redefine dynamically, you may have to actualize iteravely. Think impactful. Think intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated user interfaces. We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also incubate mega-transparently. Without development, you will lack process management. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The M&A factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to synthesize seamlessly leads to the power to actualize virtually. Think reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you facilitate mega-intuitively then you may also facilitate interactively. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without meticulously-planned action-items, infomediaries are forced to become frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless M&A and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Without eyeballs, you will lack communities. Think holistic. We will actualize the term "intuitive". Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for regulating new mindshare? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based.