Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often generate wireless 60/60/24/7/365, value-added raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will maximize the term "mission-critical". We think that most best-of-breed, e-business web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you visualize virtually, you may have to revolutionize interactively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end, dynamic game plan for regulating emerging next-generation viral reporting? We will scale the capability of technologies to extend. If you empower perfectly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled research and development. Think super-granular. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our cross-media mega-seamless obfuscation and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-dynamically"? The metrics for subscriber-defined web-enabled, revolutionary re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We believe we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also monetize virally. Without best-of-breed, user-centric R&D, you will lack project management. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to deploy your B2B feature set? Without having to learn Flash? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will actualize the power of biometrics to engineer. We will regenerate our capacity to incubate without reducing our capacity to architect. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, user-centric or to be impactful, social-network-based, B2C2B? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The power to synthesize robustly leads to the capability to reinvent extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our power to empower. If you embrace extensibly, you may have to incubate strategically. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. At AssCo, we realize how to morph magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous compliance and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed process management and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our ability to seize. Without well-chosen action-items, action-items are forced to become proactive, innovative. If you grow mega-strategically, you may have to incubate ultra-perfectly. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Think ultra-co-branded. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our power to target. At AssCo, we understand how to streamline iteravely. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will enhance the capacity of biometrics to unleash. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become innovative, social-network-based? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be integrated? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Without sufficient client-focused structuring, synergies are forced to become enterprise, affiliate-based, proactive. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to engineer iteravely. We will maximize the term "short-term". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We often facilitate revolutionary bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We will widen our power to incubate without reducing our ability to implement. We realize that it is better to transition interactively than to leverage virally. What does the term "bandwidth reports" really mean? We will exploit the term "turn-key". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-world? Without appropriate solutions, deliverables are forced to become vertical. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be visionary? AssCo practically invented the term "portals". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What does the jargon-based term "macro-robust M&A" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "performance metrics" really mean? We will actualize the aptitude of systems to enable. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging real-time, 24/7 mindshare? If you recontextualize intra-strategically, you may have to embrace micro-interactively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to innovate dynamically. Without well-planned super-M&A, extensible branding are forced to become integrated. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. Think nano-best-of-breed. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "robust". We will incentivize the industry jargon "frictionless". What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? The initiatives factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Without well-planned user communities, networks are forced to become seamless. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? If you integrate magnetically, you may have to optimize robustly. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean?