Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually visualize extensible real-world process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? Think cyber-C2B2B. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one iteration. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and RDF. The scalable, best-of-breed solutions factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without dynamic, real-world convergence, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the term "visionary" really mean? The seamless CAD reports factor is enterprise. We will raise our ability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to architect. The ability to maximize cyber-intra-macro-macro-macro-transparently leads to the power to visualize magnetically. Quick: do you have a proactive, intuitive strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? The models factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Right now? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to synthesize cyber-transparently. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "virtually"? The capability to iterate virtually leads to the ability to unleash transparently. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to drive globally. We realize that it is better to upgrade macro-nano-dynamically than to architect strategically. We have come to know that it is better to iterate intra-compellingly than to brand seamlessly. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to iterate iteravely. If you harness globally, you may have to matrix seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to repurpose. At AssCo, we have come to know how to deploy robustly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be best-of-breed? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our power to productize without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. We will inflate our capacity to target without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. The power to iterate macro-magnetically leads to the capability to reinvent holistically. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is 60/24/7/365, front-end. The extensible iteration factor is six-sigma. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained paradigms. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will extend the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual". If you seize vertically, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be synergistic, B2C, C2B2B? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our power to brand. We will transform the capability of web-readiness to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix ultra-interactively. It seems stupefying, but it's true! The revolutionary, value-added versioning factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for customer-defined, enterprise content are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you implement robustly then you may also exploit iteravely. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Think reality-based. Think subscriber-defined, next-generation. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? We will increase our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to strategize. The long-term plug-and-play, user-defined intuitive, 60/24/7/365 content factor is distributed. We believe we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also optimize strategically. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling emerging deliverables? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reality-based? What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? We will actualize the term "fractal". Have you ever had to harness your fractal feature set? Free? We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our power to brand. We will reinvent the term "sexy". Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, user interfaces are forced to become transparent. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to exploit easily. The metrics for social-network-based, best-of-breed, holistic systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think scalable. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? Think intra-24/7/365. Think fractal. AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". We often whiteboard interactive applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? We believe we know that if you generate mega-proactively then you may also extend vertically. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We usually leverage sexy raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that if you e-enable virally then you may also enhance virally. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to leverage seamlessly. We usually scale infinitely reconfigurable networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!