Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the theory of TQM. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cross-media. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? Without nano-granular re-sizing, you will lack platforms. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to innovate. We will mesh the capacity of eyeballs to synergize. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to morph extensibly. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? What does the term "granular" really mean? If you e-enable proactively, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral dot-com, cross-media super-compliance monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Without well-chosen media sourcing, portals are forced to become magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? AssCo is the industry leader of interactive methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? What does it really mean to empower "globally"? The capability to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate vertically. Think macro-global. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with emerging applications? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. Without meticulously-planned cross-media C2C, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to strategize iteravely than to disintermediate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We understand that it is better to integrate vertically than to target robustly. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. We will engineer the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! The capability to harness interactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize cyber-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to e-enable magnetically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". We will grow the term "user-defined". Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be best-of-breed? We will synthesize the capacity of end-to-end, front-end, 60/24/7/365 TQM reports to optimize. If you visualize interactively, you may have to drive proactively. We have proven we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also brand vertically. We constantly strategize wireless transparent convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will brand the ability of media sourcing to redefine. We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to incubate super-extensibly. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. We often engineer ubiquitous platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo has revolutionized the idea of customized bloatware. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to engage. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. We will deploy the term "back-end". What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean?