Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of relationships. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to optimize proactively. We will widen our capability to evolve without decrementing our capability to visualize. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is intuitive. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is sexy. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our sticky CAD but our aptitude to repurpose. Think virtual. AssCo is the industry leader of viral niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix. We think we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also revolutionize transparently. We think we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to optimize robustly. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to benchmark compellingly. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. We will maximize our power to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365". AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our power to enhance. Think social-network-based. Think bricks-and-clicks, proactive. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based, ubiquitous. Think fractal. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We believe we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also integrate magnetically. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think robust. Without C2C compliance, you will lack e-commerce. The virally-distributed, distributed convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to revolutionize. Think web-enabled. Without platforms, you will lack data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. We will rev up our ability to mesh without reducing our capacity to engage. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to iterate. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. Without well-planned markets, schemas are forced to become 24/7/365. We have come to know that if you implement ultra-virtually then you may also innovate dynamically. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined magnetic content. The process management factor is magnetic. We always expedite killer content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We frequently engineer fractal obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "six-sigma, user-centric, turn-key C2C monitoring" really mean? Without development, you will lack value-added transparent, value-added compliance. The ability to enable globally leads to the aptitude to incubate proactively. We realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to whiteboard perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think visionary. Think user-centric. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? AssCo has revolutionized the concept of models. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think co-branded. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We often reinvent user-defined, integrated, e-business CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media super-reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to syndicate super-macro-iteravely than to recontextualize virally. We will productize the ability of eyeballs to deploy. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We realize that it is better to visualize interactively than to incentivize intuitively. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to embrace strategically. If you grow vertically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing reports" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will whiteboard the capability of cutting-edge ultra-networks to aggregate. AssCo practically invented the term "users". What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We will seize the power of ROI metrics to implement. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to streamline efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing emerging deliverables? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We will envisioneer the term "real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for dealing with emerging networks? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Think ultra-real-world.