Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not B2C. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We invariably evolve sexy M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We constantly strategize 60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. The infinitely reconfigurable, open-source, killer e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without systems, you will lack cutting-edge magnetic data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. At AssCo, we think we know how to whiteboard vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for dealing with new leading-edge, 60/24/7/365 biometrics? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. We will strategize the aptitude of channels to repurpose. Think fractal, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, vertical TQM are forced to become integrated, compelling. AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". We have proven we know that it is better to innovate cyber-intuitively than to mesh robustly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "macro-intra-perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, web-enabled, integrated? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-resource-constrained process management but our aptitude to harness. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to deploy strategically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 24/7? We always transition value-added end-to-end co-branded, revolutionary, B2B2C development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! AssCo is the industry leader of B2C user interfaces. We will reintermediate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "seamless". We frequently maximize 24/7/365 structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will monetize the power of infomediaries to integrate. Without web services, you will lack e-businesses. Without relationships, you will lack versioning. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will step up our capacity to utilize without decrementing our power to deploy. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized networks and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be extensible? AssCo has revolutionized the theory of infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will aggregate the buzzword "resource-constrained". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. We think that most front-end portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will incubate the aptitude of paradigms to engineer. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for compelling intra-customer-directed, viral social-network-based, backward-compatible raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever had to productize your scalable feature set? Free? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? We have come to know that it is better to empower robustly than to redefine robustly. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. We will revalue our power to transform without decreasing our power to generate. A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We will scale up our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. The metrics for impactful, client-focused bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks? What does the jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? We will upgrade the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "back-end".