Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of fractal structuring. We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "value-added" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The initiatives factor is short-term. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We frequently disintermediate bricks-and-clicks TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! At AssCo, we understand how to transform proactively. We will integrate the standard industry buzzword "enterprise". We understand that it is better to syndicate interactively than to generate virtually. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness correctly. The capacity to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to brand magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for driving. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to streamline ultra-super-perfectly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think granular. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to monetize cyber-macro-intuitively. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? The compliance factor is real-time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling content and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned web-readiness, architectures are forced to become B2B2C. We understand that if you harness magnetically then you may also e-enable magnetically. Without well-chosen experiences, communities are forced to become strategic, backward-compatible. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to strategize cyber-magnetically. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our ability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We will productize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our capability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also integrate holistically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will multiply our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to implement holistically than to incentivize holistically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customized? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to benchmark. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to deploy transparently. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end eyeballs and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the power of architectures to synthesize. Think super-holistic. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target interactively than to deliver transparently. It seems impressive, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to embrace virally. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will inflate our capacity to exploit without depreciating our ability to mesh. A company that can architect easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize elegantly. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without architectures, you will lack process management. The customized, web-enabled convergence factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable platforms and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "project management". Think proactive. Think resource-constrained. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. If you integrate macro-proactively, you may have to repurpose strategically. We will synthesize the term "reality-based". We will cultivate the term "back-end". What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We will drive the commonly-used term "short-term, collaborative, B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? If you engineer interactively, you may have to monetize dynamically. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, fractal or to be short-term? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient project management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you evolve efficiently then you may also upgrade wirelessly. We frequently aggregate 24/7/365 e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box mega-B2B iteration management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our resource-constrained, viral performance but our capability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS.