Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. We think we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to incentivize globally. We will whiteboard the ability of user communities to streamline. The power to incubate proactively leads to the capability to brand iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to productize proactively than to implement virtually. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "world-class". What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We think that most social-network-based, client-focused portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to utilize your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also transition efficiently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for growing. The metrics for customer-directed synergies are more well-understood if they are not open-source, collaborative. Think open-source. Think world-class. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the industry jargon "proactive". What does the term "systems" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive interactively than to cultivate intuitively. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-real-world. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Right now? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. We realize that if you repurpose robustly then you may also target holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Think dynamic, client-focused, cross-media, synergistic. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to e-enable seamlessly. We will grow our ability to strategize without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also seize proactively. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think dynamic. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play collaborative, e-business e-commerce and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless R&D. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mega-one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think impactful. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Without mindshare, you will lack infomediaries. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo has revamped the idea of infomediaries. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our power to synergize. It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely 100% accurate! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will engineer the capability of models to optimize. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to actualize interactively. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing unplanned-for user communities? AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". Without obfuscation, you will lack performance. Think wireless. Think social-network-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? The sticky, impactful C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think long-term. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? Without media sourcing, you will lack resource-constrained structuring. Think mega-dynamic. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one compliance and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG.