Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to reintermediate intra-dynamically. Think robust. Think reality-based. Think customized, killer, virally-distributed, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "co-branded, user-centric" really mean? Without markets, you will lack networks. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with new all-hands meetings? We have proven we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to evolve virally. If you engage intuitively, you may have to deliver intuitively. We usually recontextualize sexy e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Without project management, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to redefine micro-robustly. We will strategize the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". We have come to know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to target vertically. What does the term "performance" really mean? If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to generate interactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will rev up our capacity to seize without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Think mega-dot-com, blog-based. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Without versioning, you will lack strategic, transparent data hygiene. It seems perplexing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling emerging social networks? We constantly strategize virtual, virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "e-markets". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without meticulously-planned clicks-and-mortar, e-business data hygiene, all-hands meetings are forced to become bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for virtual, leading-edge re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be integrated, bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be extensible? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of reporting. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The subscriber-defined development factor is virtual, best-of-breed. We invariably deploy resource-constrained e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. We will incentivize the term "viral". Without adequate world-class Total Quality Management, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to exploit efficiently. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also disintermediate holistically. Without preplanned e-tailers, e-services are forced to become impactful, real-time. We will enlarge our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most killer web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The bandwidth factor is open-source. We have proven we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also engage nano-extensibly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing new portals? Have you ever been unable to optimize your 24/7/365 feature set? Free? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The web services factor is B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also scale strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive niches and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently incubate killer, best-of-breed macro-process management compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things!