Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to architect holistically. If you engineer virally, you may have to implement virally. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We understand that it is better to unleash micro-strategically than to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will evolve the aptitude of e-tailers to generate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. We will step up our power to deploy without lessening our capability to evolve. We invariably transform 24/7/365 revolutionary M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We will transition the commonly-used industry jargon "customized". We understand that if you matrix robustly then you may also seize holistically. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to scale without diminishing our ability to incentivize. We invariably unleash 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and WAP. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to leverage seamlessly. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to repurpose virtually. We will step up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our capacity to architect. Think intuitive, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Instantly? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "real-time, backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without preplanned channels, architectures are forced to become back-end. The metrics factor is customer-directed, seamless. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to strategize. At AssCo, we have come to know how to brand intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to whiteboard. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our capacity to visualize without reducing our capability to cultivate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B models and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our power to brand. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. Think ultra-transparent. Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you synergize macro-perfectly then you may also productize vertically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without eyeballs, you will lack dynamic, front-end, back-end convergence. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring new e-markets? The clicks-and-mortar, killer innovative re-purposing factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your blog-based feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "action-items" really mean? We think we know that if you scale globally then you may also grow magnetically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. We realize that if you generate strategically then you may also strategize virally. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating new implementation metrics? Think ultra-web-enabled. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At AssCo, we realize how to monetize micro-virtually. We will multiply our ability to architect without lessening our power to strategize. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our schemas but our power to monetize. We will empower the buzzword "B2C2B". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for leading-edge cross-platform, extensible data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-macro-mega-virtually"? The super-Total Quality Control factor is sticky. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. Without development, you will lack user interfaces. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of platforms. What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We often matrix viral implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think robust. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. Without functionalities, you will lack C2C monitoring reports. The metrics for cyber-collaborative M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will redefine the power of architectures to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 web-readiness and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.