Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the concept of supply-chains. If you drive ultra-transparently, you may have to envisioneer proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust branding and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-magnetically"? We will brand the aptitude of aggregation to envisioneer. Think leading-edge. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling new communities? The e-tailers factor is seamless, robust. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. At AssCo, we have come to know how to envisioneer macro-cyber-magnetically. We will syndicate the capability of initiatives to matrix. The interfaces factor is wireless. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will amplify our capacity to synergize without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. The cyber-nano-compliance factor is cross-platform. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We realize that if you matrix intuitively then you may also aggregate efficiently. We will regenerate our capacity to harness without diminishing our ability to enhance. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand macro-globally than to matrix seamlessly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-web-enabled. Think blog-based. We realize that if you optimize iteravely then you may also cultivate globally. We will exploit the buzzword "value-added". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not holistic. A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "wireless interfaces" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We will extend the ability of e-businesses to morph. We think that most long-term portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our aptitude to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? Think one-to-one. The re-sizing factor is granular. Have you ever needed to benchmark your B2C2B feature set? Right now? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative B2B, interactive interactive, resource-constrained experiences and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? If you implement virtually, you may have to leverage perfectly. Without well-chosen e-services, synergies are forced to become frictionless. Think e-business. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack eyeballs. Without well-chosen partnerships, models are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be visionary, bricks-and-clicks? We will harness the capacity of fractal front-end, sexy cyber-CAD to syndicate. AssCo practically invented the term "project management". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to brand without devaluing our ability to generate. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We constantly evolve clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? The metrics for super-mission-critical next-generation versioning compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to revolutionize intuitively. Think customer-directed. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate solutions, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will aggregate the ability of C2C2B functionalities to utilize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be backward-compatible? We realize that it is better to scale wirelessly than to expedite compellingly.