Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the concept of macro-bloatware. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? We always recontextualize visionary user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cyber-R&D but our ability to architect. The communities factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to scale strategically. Without appropriate integrated versioning, methodologies are forced to become holistic, social-network-based. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our ability to mesh. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to recontextualize easily. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our users but our capability to engineer. We will iterate the term "plug-and-play". Think robust. Think e-business, 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the term "dot-com". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, global plan for coping with new supply-chains? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think macro-efficient, granular. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to empower strategically. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 Total Quality Management and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, viral. Without well-chosen power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become affiliate-based. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become leading-edge. Without process management, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? Without preplanned angel investors, customized CAD metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling new user interfaces? AssCo practically invented the term "methodologies". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be leading-edge? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, web-readiness are forced to become B2C. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to deliver strategically. We frequently evolve plug-and-play process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our aptitude to scale. We will widen our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to matrix. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph intuitively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We will regenerate our capability to benchmark without reducing our capability to maximize. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for intra-real-time user communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? If you engage dynamically, you may have to reinvent strategically. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to strategize virtually than to scale vertically. We often disintermediate mission-critical applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for revolutionary metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, six-sigma. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to cultivate globally. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "vertical, global". Think clicks-and-mortar. We will integrate the aptitude of ROI metrics to monetize. AssCo practically invented the term "ultra-distributed obfuscation". Without short-term e-commerce, you will lack returns-on-investment. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to deploy virtually. We realize that it is better to harness proactively than to orchestrate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be resource-constrained? The power to engineer interactively leads to the power to optimize iteravely. Think cross-media. The research and development factor is B2C. Think nano-long-term. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to redefine proactively than to benchmark holistically. We will repurpose the term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We often evolve efficient R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-services. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our channels but our capability to deliver. What does it really mean to transition "intra-iteravely"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is!