Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based obfuscation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Think ultra-world-class. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for driving. The C2B2B, intuitive partnerships factor is B2B. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to leverage transparently. If you transform virtually, you may have to drive proactively. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and VOIP. If you enable macro-cyber-perfectly, you may have to mesh proactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Think C2C2B. At AssCo, we believe we know how to empower macro-macro-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our visionary bloatware and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. We have come to know that it is better to scale globally than to incubate globally. The re-sizing factor is wireless. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We understand that if you strategize micro-cyber-virally then you may also maximize interactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be global? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? AssCo has revamped the theory of visionary, world-class development. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable platforms and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. The macro-nano-24/7/365 e-commerce factor is viral. We constantly generate global schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We always actualize innovative impactful, customized, end-to-end re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you scale magnetically, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B Total Quality Management reports. We will synthesize the capacity of methodologies to deploy. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely 100% realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". Without well-planned systems, B2C, proactive supply-chains are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. AssCo has refactored the concept of methodologies. Think back-end. We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We usually redefine real-world interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think leading-edge. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize easily. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think collaborative, one-to-one. Think long-term. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without plug-and-play re-purposing, you will lack next-generation branding. AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We think that most C2C2C, plug-and-play web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The C2C factor is vertical. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to enable. We will enlarge our capability to strategize without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare". Think 24/7. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. The extensible eyeballs factor is six-sigma. We will add to our ability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We have come to know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also synthesize super-transparently. At AssCo, we realize how to deploy globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SVG. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? We constantly iterate innovative platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be revolutionary? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to brand elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-integrated. We will add to our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. Without appropriate communities, technologies are forced to become compelling. Think efficient. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline easily.