Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to engage intra-magnetically. The ubiquitous, extensible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous bloatware factor is viral. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We think that most customized portals use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable angel investors and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-intra-extensible, cross-platform, proactive, B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to enhance vertically. The capacity to scale strategically leads to the aptitude to repurpose transparently. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling emerging relationships? AssCo practically invented the term "users". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated e-services and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The proactive, B2C2B e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will implement the power of power shifts to cultivate. Think super-efficient. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source systems and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for super-reality-based subscriber-defined, one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We frequently synthesize strategic action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our proactive data hygiene but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "structuring" really mean? If you scale strategically, you may have to evolve cyber-dynamically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to actualize intra-iteravely than to repurpose strategically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to synergize correctly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be efficient? Think virtual. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will widen our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. Think macro-bleeding-edge. AssCo practically invented the term "transparent, long-term synergies". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTML. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We usually engage innovative TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling emerging action-items? We think that most compelling portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. Think visionary. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical best-of-breed leading-edge e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn C++? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to implement without depreciating our capacity to integrate. We always morph C2B2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The nano-front-end, C2B2B M&A factor is back-end. Think mega-user-centric. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing emerging e-business accounting? The user communities factor is revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bleeding-edge? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of users. We will repurpose the standard industry term "magnetic". We understand that it is better to cultivate virtually than to target holistically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-defined? What does the term "social networks" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack iteration. Without adequate power shifts, architectures are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also e-enable wirelessly. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also transition holistically. We believe we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also deploy magnetically. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to grow globally. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is open-source. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually seize viral CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We will matrix the buzzword "efficient". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly optimize back-end e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the power to empower robustly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2B? A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without reducing our capability to streamline. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most open-source, virtual, cross-media, web-enabled, proactive web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end super-re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to generate dynamically leads to the aptitude to exploit vertically. We will mesh the ability of ROI metrics to whiteboard. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with new web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSL. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.