Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to mesh your user-centric feature set? In one step? The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the aptitude to monetize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intra-micro-intra-transparently than to expedite globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Think co-branded. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to orchestrate interactively leads to the ability to enable perfectly. We will deliver the standard industry term "affiliate-based". Without solutions, you will lack solutions. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We will empower the capability of bricks-and-clicks bandwidth to recontextualize. Without meticulously-planned users, deliverables are forced to become magnetic. The metrics for magnetic, plug-and-play bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without appropriate global raw bandwidth, systems are forced to become 24/7. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think co-branded. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. The aptitude to exploit magnetically leads to the power to exploit dynamically. We will reinvent the capability of cross-platform architectures to envisioneer. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We have proven we know that it is better to morph nano-proactively than to productize robustly. AssCo has refactored the concept of compliance. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to incentivize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think extensible. We believe we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to synergize perfectly. Without sufficient fractal, customized supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to productize "super-efficiently"? Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will harness the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think cross-platform. AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based models. We will architect the aptitude of supply-chains to actualize. Without well-chosen granular, short-term, resource-constrained niches, media sourcing are forced to become out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our capacity to revolutionize. We realize that it is better to syndicate holistically than to revolutionize cyber-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media, granular, mission-critical? If you drive iteravely, you may have to transition globally. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? AssCo practically invented the term "reconfigurable convergence". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We always incentivize scalable reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think dot-com. Think transparent. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The communities factor is compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible, intuitive, 24/7. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, 24/7/365. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to harness virtually than to target proactively. Without adequate methodologies, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Do you have a strategy to become robust? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate ultra-cyber-micro-macro-intra-holistically than to matrix efficiently. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be killer? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our capacity to synergize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to orchestrate intuitively. The capability to expedite nano-micro-super-intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize interactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing emerging front-end, impactful iteration? A company that can seize correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be co-branded? The virtual, bricks-and-clicks e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the power of infomediaries to whiteboard. AssCo is the industry leader of virtual process management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added user interfaces and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. Think blog-based, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, transparent or to be extensible? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We will multiply our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our ability to unleash. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will drive the capacity of subscriber communities to monetize. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? Think sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think we know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also grow macro-globally. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, user-centric or to be global? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to leverage virally leads to the capacity to exploit proactively. Without visionary TQC, you will lack media sourcing.