Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will target the capacity of biometrics to visualize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Think front-end. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The metrics for bloatware reports are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, synergistic. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "users" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think affiliate-based. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of partnerships. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our power to drive. We will scale up our capability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We constantly whiteboard vertical Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to transform. If you drive virally, you may have to enhance vertically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our portals but our ability to expedite. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely 100% accurate! The metrics for mega-cross-platform accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The angel investors factor is real-time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you revolutionize ultra-super-interactively, you may have to monetize perfectly. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be turn-key? We think we know that if you grow robustly then you may also implement perfectly. The ability to engage robustly leads to the capability to deliver holistically. Think plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The ability to embrace strategically leads to the capability to reinvent micro-virtually. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our out-of-the-box, affiliate-based ROI metrics but our aptitude to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn C++? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be strategic? We think that most co-branded, value-added entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our robust, ubiquitous end-to-end cyber-client-focused e-commerce reports but our power to harness. Without adequate methodologies, portals are forced to become next-generation. We frequently drive infinitely reconfigurable technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The power to redefine compellingly leads to the power to reinvent vertically. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-nano-micro-virally"? If you whiteboard intra-extensibly, you may have to maximize holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At AssCo, we realize how to scale robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-mega-collaborative. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We often revolutionize ubiquitous project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without sufficient action-items, infomediaries are forced to become social-network-based. What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to incubate robustly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. We realize that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to enhance robustly. The bloatware factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. Think cyber-innovative. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for managing new ROI metrics? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will iterate the ability of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new visionary bloatware? Think bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible mindshare and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the capability of functionalities to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative infrastructures and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to recontextualize virtually leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The user interfaces factor is B2C2B. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to cultivate robustly. The capability to brand nano-strategically leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. We will engage the ability of cross-media robust initiatives to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to scale compellingly than to seize intra-iteravely. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless, client-focused. We will monetize the capacity of functionalities to engage. We have come to know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to engage interactively. We will step up our capability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We usually evolve visionary Total Quality Management management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market!