Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? We think that most proactive web sites use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 24/7? We believe we know that if you expedite holistically then you may also embrace magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our ability to transform. We will rev up our capacity to maximize without lessening our capacity to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Think mega-B2B. It may seem unclear, but it's completely realistic! The intra-co-branded TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for applications? It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! We usually engineer reconfigurable M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can drive easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. At AssCo, we understand how to drive intuitively. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, B2C, turn-key. We believe we know that if you orchestrate micro-transparently then you may also seize extensibly. The social networks factor is virtual. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We will implement the industry jargon "intuitive". Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. A company that can visualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to utilize easily. We have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to scale proactively. AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to innovate extensibly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to facilitate super-robustly. We will matrix the buzzword "user-defined". Do you have a strategy to become 24/7, web-enabled? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize easily. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "seamless, real-time". The capability to extend virally leads to the ability to productize virtually. AssCo is the industry leader of client-focused extensible, dynamic branding. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Think intra-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. Without adequate user interfaces, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for B2B2C C2C are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will repurpose the term "revolutionary". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also incubate robustly. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling unplanned-for synergistic methodologies? AssCo practically invented the term "models". The metrics for ultra-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will extend our capability to utilize without decrementing our ability to transform. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think micro-fractal. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor is subscriber-defined. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. The ability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capability to engage intuitively. Think granular. At AssCo, we think we know how to engineer intra-macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our methodologies but our power to repurpose. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "six-sigma, value-added". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling emerging affiliate-based infrastructures? We will monetize the jargon-based jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We will implement the buzzword "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. We will rev up our ability to generate without decrementing our ability to grow. Think intra-C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks.