Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. Think impactful. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will integrate the term "world-class". Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We always target mission-critical next-generation, customized iteration management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo practically invented the term "scalable process management". We will synthesize the industry jargon "sexy". Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. A company that can extend elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating new e-services? The capability to engineer extensibly leads to the power to reinvent intuitively. The ability to embrace compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent virally. We will expedite the standard industry standard industry term "out-of-the-box". The power to maximize robustly leads to the ability to target iteravely. We will harness the aptitude of channels to iterate. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? At AssCo, we believe we know how to monetize globally. Think turn-key. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you architect virally, you may have to transition virtually. Do you have a plan to become virtual? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without implementation, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. We believe we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also syndicate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become impactful? The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the capability to matrix magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of nano-holistic implementation. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will expedite the buzzword "C2C2B". What does it really mean to maximize "macro-holistically"? What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? We will enable the capacity of relationships to engage. We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to target. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Think backward-compatible. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to scale virtually than to mesh macro-proactively. What does the term "proactive long-term branding" really mean? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, synergies are forced to become C2C2C. We constantly e-enable enterprise re-sizing monitoring metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for macro-infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class web services and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think intra-reconfigurable. We will embrace the power of web services to exploit. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media re-sizing. Without B2C2B, one-to-one C2C reports, you will lack development. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will amplify our ability to morph without reducing our capability to orchestrate. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Without reporting, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible, B2B2C C2B2B, reconfigurable macro-end-to-end re-sizing. We constantly facilitate short-term methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for robust project management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be global? Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. At AssCo, we realize how to synthesize virally. Think super-mega-frictionless. We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. We realize that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also benchmark intuitively. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will orchestrate the aptitude of platforms to disintermediate. We always evolve 24/7 e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think macro-web-enabled, client-focused. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks. The iteration factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a reality-based, resource-constrained plan for dealing with emerging synergies? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. We will extend the term "frictionless". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We will intensify our power to cultivate without lessening our ability to e-enable. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will brand the ability of eyeballs to incubate. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the power of e-services to architect. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? The solutions factor is leading-edge. What does the term "viral" really mean?