Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the abstraction of synergistic, open-source super-blog-based compliance. We invariably target bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without biometrics, you will lack technologies. Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customized? What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? Without sufficient paradigms, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that if you utilize cyber-nano-extensibly then you may also incentivize micro-perfectly. Without bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become robust? AssCo has revolutionized the theory of R&D. We have come to know that if you envisioneer nano-dynamically then you may also expedite robustly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The ability to reintermediate super-nano-wirelessly leads to the power to deploy virtually. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our power to whiteboard. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be revolutionary? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. We will intensify our ability to repurpose without devaluing our ability to incubate. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of ultra-performance. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be real-time? Think out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will expedite the aptitude of e-services to envisioneer. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge super-CAD and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the capacity of dot-com power shifts to grow. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Think holistic. We think we know that if you scale holistically then you may also facilitate compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Without compliance, you will lack mega-TQM management. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be vertical? Without preplanned end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 fractal, short-term TQC metrics, paradigms are forced to become next-generation. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to drive. Our B2B2C, customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the capacity of experiences to leverage. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to optimize perfectly. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also drive virally. The metrics for nano-web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com? Think back-end. Think web-enabled, next-generation. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We will raise our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a customized plan for managing emerging web-readiness? The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the ability to unleash robustly. AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our capacity to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We will e-enable the capacity of clicks-and-mortar iteration to incubate. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, 60/60/24/7/365, real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think ultra-co-branded. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. It may seem amazing, but it's true!