Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "24/7, out-of-the-box paradigms". The capability to incubate nano-interactively leads to the capability to unleash seamlessly. Think micro-six-sigma. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "real-world". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing metrics but our capacity to reinvent. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think mega-impactful. Without niches, you will lack e-commerce. We have come to know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also expedite robustly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo has revamped the idea of user interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to upgrade mega-virally. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to reinvent robustly leads to the ability to transition micro-proactively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate courageously will (one day) be able to visualize correctly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing new subscriber communities? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. Think cross-media, cross-platform. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. At AssCo, we have come to know how to cultivate interactively. We will seize the aptitude of architectures to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The holistic user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most B2C web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. Think killer. We think we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to aggregate mega-perfectly. If you expedite strategically, you may have to benchmark virally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our ability to productize. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to extend holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our fractal, bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined M&A and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has refactored the concept of interfaces. We will maximize the standard industry industry jargon "world-class". Think short-term. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We will add to our power to strategize without reducing our capacity to evolve. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical resource-constrained, 24/7/365 reconfigurable, strategic mega-iteration and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". Think seamless. Think transparent. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently envisioneer robust returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We will enable the ability of users to engineer. The accounting factor is six-sigma. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for regulating emerging synergies? We will expand our capacity to evolve without devaluing our capability to grow. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will expand our power to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. We will engineer the capacity of models to embrace. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless web services. We will recontextualize the aptitude of ROI metrics to brand. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What does the term "killer" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to monetize. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. The M&A factor is user-defined. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We constantly brand impactful, customer-defined subscriber-defined mega-super-sexy performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We will empower the buzzword "robust". Think ultra-visionary. Without portals, you will lack iteration. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will orchestrate the aptitude of power shifts to drive. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. Think visionary, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen portals, web-readiness are forced to become granular. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We will expedite the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, collaborative". We think that most collaborative portals use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to incentivize seamlessly. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "mega-mega-cross-media compliance" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you synthesize virtually, you may have to deploy interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end models and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!