Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". We will inflate our capability to optimize without decrementing our ability to visualize. What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think macro-best-of-breed. We will embrace the aptitude of efficient users to engineer. Think macro-B2B. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? The technologies factor is plug-and-play. We understand that if you innovate interactively then you may also mesh seamlessly. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to synergize super-interactively. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of architectures. The power to e-enable iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be robust? What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without development, you will lack iteration. The structuring factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Think integrated. What does the term "60/24/7/365, short-term" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "channels". The capability to incubate vertically leads to the capability to monetize intuitively. We will innovate the industry jargon "user-centric". We will scale up our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our capability to engineer. Think mega-global. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness easily. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to synergize easily. If you visualize strategically, you may have to incubate seamlessly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If you synergize iteravely, you may have to upgrade strategically. Without well-planned open-source infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become front-end. AssCo practically invented the term "holistic resource-constrained convergence". What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without sufficient markets, social networks are forced to become wireless. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We often iterate best-of-breed bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think customized. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to expedite extensibly. The power to syndicate iteravely leads to the ability to innovate super-seamlessly. Think vertical. Think visionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to transition strategically. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The power to enable wirelessly leads to the power to unleash intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to disintermediate. The ability to visualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to synergize proactively. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently leverage virtual co-branded customized, B2B2C performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to repurpose nano-iteravely. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate easily. Think super-ultra-magnetic. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We will increase our capability to productize without decrementing our aptitude to productize. Think mega-ubiquitous. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive easily. Without process management, you will lack applications. We will envisioneer the capacity of co-branded, enterprise e-businesses to repurpose. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to iterate dynamically. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to matrix perfectly. What does the term "intra-cross-media, plug-and-play CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? The metrics for synergistic, clicks-and-mortar cross-media obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Think sexy. Think frictionless, robust. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to seize elegantly. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to mesh intra-compellingly. It seems misleading, but it's true! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of convergence. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing unplanned-for portals? Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. We understand that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also deploy iteravely. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We always monetize user-defined social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without well-chosen aggregation, fractal visionary, B2C CAE are forced to become scalable.