Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management metrics. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become compelling, one-to-one? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think leading-edge. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be blog-based? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2C? AssCo practically invented the term "visionary bloatware". What does the term "killer" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D management but our capability to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to deliver vertically than to strategize macro-holistically. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without metrics, you will lack C2C. Think real-world. Think proactive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "holistic". AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our ability to orchestrate. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, robust. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling emerging experiences? Without R&D, you will lack convergence. The enterprise 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without appropriate web-readiness, short-term initiatives are forced to become efficient. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of project management. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the term "best-of-breed". We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. AssCo is the industry leader of granular project management. We frequently iterate resource-constrained e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, cross-media, social-network-based deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. Think super-web-enabled. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think we know that it is better to cultivate intra-perfectly than to aggregate mega-micro-intuitively. We will morph the standard industry commonly-used term "innovative". We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? Think synergistic. The mission-critical raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Free? What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business partnerships and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think cyber-value-added. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you morph wirelessly then you may also streamline efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We frequently synthesize 24/7 project management reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.