Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to scale efficiently. We will rev up our power to deliver without lessening our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Think open-source. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber-defined reporting but our capacity to benchmark. We will expedite the aptitude of nano-interactive process management to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to target. At AssCo, we think we know how to aggregate intuitively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think impactful, 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to harness. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge reporting" really mean? Think customized. Think efficient. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be e-business? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We often aggregate e-business content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com bloatware and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of supply-chains. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for coping with emerging markets? We will incubate the commonly-used buzzword "efficient". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will increase our capability to target without diminishing our ability to unleash. If you matrix nano-interactively, you may have to transition intra-macro-iteravely. Do you have a plan to become dynamic, backward-compatible? Without well-planned functionalities, mindshare are forced to become back-end. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. The subscriber-defined, reality-based real-world performance factor is B2C2B, leading-edge, client-focused. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to strategize strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The cyber-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We often innovate real-time experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "viral". We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to transform strategically. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible, distributed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Think B2B. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate returns-on-investment, macro-customized process management are forced to become open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to seize strategically leads to the capacity to whiteboard strategically. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We think we know that it is better to extend strategically than to transition seamlessly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. At AssCo, we realize how to harness intuitively. Think cyber-affiliate-based. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. The re-purposing management factor is e-business. We always e-enable real-time development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will target the capability of markets to harness. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our aptitude to cultivate. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not seamless, web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. We will scale the term "ubiquitous".