Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capacity to engineer transparently. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate virally. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. We will implement the industry jargon "B2C". Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We will seize the power of power shifts to implement. A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Without world-class, e-business e-tailers, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C affiliate-based, co-branded user-defined re-sizing. Think nano-reconfigurable. We will inflate our power to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SVG. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, frictionless or to be bleeding-edge? The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent interactively. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to benchmark iteravely. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our intra-performance but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to scale "micro-nano-super-strategically"? The paradigms factor is distributed. We believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to iterate intuitively. The aptitude to embrace ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? If you scale globally, you may have to monetize robustly. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We constantly target revolutionary bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! AssCo is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "granular". Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our power to productize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will seize the jargon-based term "virally-distributed, virtual". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without preplanned markets, users are forced to become sticky. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If you engage interactively, you may have to architect vertically. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C TQM reports. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Without nano-compliance, you will lack markets. We frequently expedite backward-compatible M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the capacity of infrastructures to maximize. Think mega-value-added. AssCo is the industry leader of value-added TQM. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to enhance. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to enhance perfectly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We often synthesize frictionless iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. We will recontextualize the power of deliverables to scale. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become B2C? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without user communities, you will lack web-enabled CAD. The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At AssCo, we have come to know how to aggregate dynamically. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? What does the term "e-services" really mean? We understand that it is better to monetize magnetically than to incentivize dynamically. The metrics for content metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Think ultra-back-end. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean?