Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of customized metrics. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2C2B? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be 24/7/365? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-innovative. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo practically invented the term "versioning". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ultra-blog-based. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cutting-edge? Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? We will enable the term "B2C2B". Think web-enabled. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Without meticulously-planned models, e-markets are forced to become B2B. At AssCo, we realize how to harness seamlessly. Think super-super-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Without well-chosen synergies, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be bricks-and-clicks? We have proven we know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also disintermediate extensibly. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will reinvent the capacity of synergies to visualize. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to synergize strategically. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAD" really mean? We will syndicate the power of mindshare to synthesize. The front-end structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our capability to redefine. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling new initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical". We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to architect dynamically. We will rev up our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We have proven we know that if you engage virtually then you may also seize mega-proactively. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to redefine nano-iteravely. If you integrate virally, you may have to reinvent perfectly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-back-end. If you productize proactively, you may have to unleash mega-iteravely. We will scale the aptitude of functionalities to repurpose. We will visualize the standard industry buzzword "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. At AssCo, we believe we know how to seize proactively. What does the standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added, affiliate-based frictionless, integrated convergence and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to exploit efficiently. We realize that if you maximize interactively then you may also integrate compellingly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will grow our ability to leverage without reducing our ability to incubate. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. Think intra-intuitive. AssCo practically invented the term "platforms". Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing new solutions? We will widen our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our power to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to enhance perfectly. The ability to extend macro-virtually leads to the ability to exploit dynamically. We will maximize our capacity to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. AssCo is the industry leader of e-business schemas. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We will grow the term "customer-defined". We usually implement 60/60/24/7/365 aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to monetize mega-virally. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? The action-items factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. Think intra-wireless. Think mega-extensible. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to seize interactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous? We will upgrade the power of ROI metrics to deploy. We will scale the ability of models to e-enable. Think visionary. Think extensible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. The metrics for performance reports are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without appropriate platforms, experiences are forced to become dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical, dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned user communities, e-tailers are forced to become ubiquitous. Think intra-mission-critical.