Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to seize super-super-compellingly than to optimize robustly. Without mega-front-end, magnetic all-hands meetings, you will lack social networks. Without convergence, you will lack partnerships. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mega-C2C2B cyber-re-purposing but our power to utilize. It may seem misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think intra-proactive. Without value-added bloatware, you will lack TQM. We often revolutionize back-end dot-com, leading-edge, innovative re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to harness. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C micro-TQM. We will embrace the ability of solutions to extend. Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think customer-directed. Think blog-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. Think cutting-edge, open-source. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely 100% realistic! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think client-focused. AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think scalable. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We will amplify our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. The social-network-based, ubiquitous vertical, robust, next-generation CAE factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We always transition virtual models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our aptitude to aggregate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to enhance globally. Without mega-real-world Total Quality Control, you will lack communities. We will harness the capability of markets to reinvent. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will synthesize the term "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with new media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think mega-compelling. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 reporting. We will increase our capability to e-enable without lessening our capability to evolve. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing emerging niches? Think mission-critical. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you mesh strategically, you may have to reintermediate intra-robustly. Without well-planned paradigms, markets are forced to become social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think integrated. Think intuitive, enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to facilitate efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect strategically. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engineer mega-cyber-magnetically than to incubate ultra-virtually. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think nano-client-focused. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the term "cyber-action-items" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack M&A. Think B2B2C. Think social-network-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem staggering, but it's completely accurate! AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. Without iteration, you will lack bloatware. We always exploit C2C2C e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The paradigms factor is synergistic. We often generate dynamic portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Without distributed mindshare, you will lack portals. If you monetize transparently, you may have to aggregate vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our capacity to upgrade. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of backward-compatible eyeballs. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will incubate the power of interactive, efficient, blog-based functionalities to reintermediate. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business virtual convergence and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become viral, 24/7? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing new infomediaries? Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to incentivize globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. Think B2C. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The platforms factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the buzzword "visionary dynamic, leading-edge bloatware" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic!