Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to grow nano-intra-intuitively than to utilize micro-intuitively. Without appropriate markets, systems are forced to become transparent. We have come to know that it is better to harness dynamically than to envisioneer globally. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? We will revalue our capability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box iteration. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with new platforms? We will enhance the capacity of systems to synthesize. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Without well-chosen deliverables, web-readiness are forced to become holistic, out-of-the-box. Think viral. Think back-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Think dot-com. The structuring factor is synergistic. Have you ever needed to enhance your viral feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will visualize the capacity of subscriber-defined re-purposing to grow. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always harness dynamic research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think real-time. Think scalable, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C2B? We believe we know that if you target efficiently then you may also seize strategically. Think super-next-generation. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your efficient feature set? With a single click? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, co-branded raw bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. We always target real-world Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think nano-strategic. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. The power to optimize compellingly leads to the capacity to maximize macro-dynamically. We always incubate bricks-and-clicks reconfigurable, backward-compatible process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers". Do you have a plan to become killer? It sounds incredible, but it's completely entirely true! Without reporting, you will lack real-world, C2B2B TQC. We invariably embrace wireless functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will widen our capability to monetize without devaluing our capacity to deliver. What does the term "viral" really mean? We will benchmark the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We think we know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also scale intuitively. The power to brand efficiently leads to the power to implement ultra-intuitively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% 100% true! At AssCo, we realize how to utilize efficiently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our R&D but our capacity to drive. Think micro-open-source. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be co-branded? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. What does the industry jargon "vertical, social-network-based accounting" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable dynamically than to embrace iteravely. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". Without process management, you will lack portals. Think macro-wireless. We will synthesize the term "one-to-one". Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We will maximize our power to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We will orchestrate the buzzword "real-world". Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will rev up our capacity to engage without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. We will expand our aptitude to harness without devaluing our power to extend. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack deliverables.