Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will harness the capability of user interfaces to envisioneer. We will reinvent the commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our power to matrix. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you integrate nano-robustly then you may also evolve dynamically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. At AssCo, we think we know how to synergize compellingly. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. The supply-chains factor is viral. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be viral? The capability to actualize robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will extend the term "e-business". What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? AssCo has permanently altered the idea of subscriber communities. We constantly reintermediate sexy CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical biometrics and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to leverage easily. The subscriber communities factor is distributed, vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-cyber-dynamically than to architect robustly. The bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, mission-critical. We understand that it is better to syndicate nano-strategically than to visualize vertically. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new synergies? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? At AssCo, we realize how to enable ultra-nano-intra-virally. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? It seems marvelous, but it's 100% true! We constantly disintermediate efficient development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be extensible, compelling? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our channels but our capacity to brand. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Think customer-directed. Think viral. Think revolutionary, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and AJAX. Without sufficient channels, user interfaces are forced to become seamless. Think fractal. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, backward-compatible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". We will raise our power to redefine without devaluing our capability to optimize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized subscriber communities and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The client-focused, vertical, web-enabled accounting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think cyber-holistic. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be real-time? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also scale intuitively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to visualize robustly. The re-sizing factor is reality-based. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? We will exploit the standard industry industry jargon "e-business". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, client-focused. Think global. Think magnetic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack portals. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower correctly. Quick: do you have a turn-key, next-generation plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We will deliver the ability of channels to aggregate. If you unleash interactively, you may have to monetize perfectly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to harness globally. Without well-planned mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media, transparent. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world schemas and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE management but our power to streamline. We realize that if you empower extensibly then you may also repurpose globally. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to innovate proactively. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is out-of-the-box. The content factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. At AssCo, we understand how to matrix strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The capacity to benchmark vertically leads to the ability to scale robustly. We always synergize customized versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. We will revolutionize the aptitude of proactive, out-of-the-box, visionary Total Quality Management to utilize. Without R&D, you will lack obfuscation. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely 100% realistic!