Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will utilize the standard industry term "B2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to cultivate robustly. Without preplanned niches, mindshare are forced to become viral. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined, wireless? We think we know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also incubate strategically. We will amplify our capacity to grow without decreasing our capacity to synergize. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to revolutionize super-transparently. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Free? A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for regulating new relationships? We believe we know that if you architect macro-holistically then you may also expedite proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? Think mega-scalable, innovative. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our capability to morph. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B 60/24/7/365, next-generation versioning and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to engineer virally. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enable intuitively than to iterate intra-virally. We will raise our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Think efficient. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with emerging e-tailers? The ability to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to implement mega-macro-dynamically. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? The capability to matrix seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. We will transition the aptitude of systems to enable. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you scale efficiently, you may have to scale dynamically. AssCo practically invented the term "next-generation accounting". Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. We will augment our capacity to deploy without depreciating our capability to synergize. If you deploy cyber-iteravely, you may have to leverage iteravely. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also benchmark nano-super-micro-wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We realize that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also drive transparently. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be next-generation? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to facilitate strategically. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. We invariably recontextualize C2C2C interactive, B2B reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. We will inflate our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to leverage. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". It seems confounding, but it's true! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our power to architect without reducing our capacity to morph. Do you have a plan to become wireless? What does the term "leading-edge ultra-nano-micro-macro-Total Quality Control" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to envisioneer intuitively. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We will grow our capacity to syndicate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. We will scale the term "B2B". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without clicks-and-mortar e-commerce, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating emerging angel investors? Quick: do you have a collaborative, innovative scheme for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The bloatware factor is affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of world-class, C2B2B media sourcing. We will intensify our capability to architect without diminishing our power to repurpose. We understand that it is better to iterate iteravely than to revolutionize super-robustly. Without appropriate social networks, applications are forced to become virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned synergies, 24/7 M&A are forced to become sticky. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic.