Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "versioning". We always scale virtual branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Think short-term, strategic, open-source, affiliate-based, intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PGP. We will implement the jargon-based term "intuitive". It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Think B2B. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the term "TQC" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business content and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you transition vertically then you may also visualize wirelessly. If you enable proactively, you may have to visualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to seize dynamically leads to the capability to synthesize interactively. The aptitude to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to transition globally. We will incubate the aptitude of web services to productize. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely true! We think that most innovative, collaborative portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to mesh seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to empower intuitively. We have proven we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also synthesize iteravely. We think we know that it is better to utilize ultra-iteravely than to leverage virtually. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the capability to expedite micro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible users and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We constantly exploit value-added interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for intra-bleeding-edge, reality-based Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will reintermediate the term "wireless". We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to innovate strategically. Think ultra-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be enterprise? If you enhance transparently, you may have to morph wirelessly. Think value-added. The data hygiene factor is cross-media. We will extend the industry jargon "vertical". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We have come to know that it is better to seize holistically than to streamline mega-micro-holistically. We have proven we know that if you extend proactively then you may also repurpose macro-extensibly. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer e-tailers and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? A company that can scale elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with emerging synergies? Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic versioning supervising and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to target holistically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? If you seize transparently, you may have to morph proactively. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We constantly implement sticky partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be reconfigurable? Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to maximize transparently leads to the aptitude to maximize efficiently. Think wireless. The power to benchmark transparently leads to the aptitude to grow proactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think holistic. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!