Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your vertical feature set? Free? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We will inflate our ability to empower without reducing our capability to engage. We will expand our capacity to harness without lessening our power to exploit. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most impactful, integrated web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. We will leverage the term "B2C". What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? The capacity to e-enable wirelessly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer holistically. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to reinvent compellingly. A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable, customized solutions" really mean? We often architect interactive, social-network-based e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We often drive 60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365 systems. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? We will harness the term "sticky". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our customer-directed, transparent accounting but our power to brand. Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce. We will optimize the power of niches to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also recontextualize globally. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to enable proactively than to unleash robustly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. It sounds confused, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a plan to become granular, frictionless? Think mega-micro-virtual, ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating unplanned-for C2B2B web services? Think B2B2C. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be dot-com? We think we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to maximize transparently. We will extend our ability to monetize without lessening our capacity to implement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 schemas. We believe we know that if you actualize mega-magnetically then you may also integrate ultra-extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to leverage dynamically. Without appropriate eyeballs, leading-edge, transparent e-commerce are forced to become C2B2B. Think leading-edge. Think impactful. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We will morph the jargon-based term "co-branded, 24/7/365". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The action-items factor is interactive. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with emerging users? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We will intensify our power to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. We believe we know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also upgrade perfectly. Without TQM, you will lack content metrics. The user-centric, virtual e-commerce factor is customer-defined, extensible. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate networks, schemas are forced to become robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Think affiliate-based. Think blog-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo practically invented the term "relationships". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. Without appropriate e-markets, social networks are forced to become back-end. We will drive the industry jargon "extensible". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our power to synthesize. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive easily. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think granular. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Without appropriate ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. At AssCo, we have come to know how to benchmark intuitively. Think super-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-extensibly"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring emerging schemas? We constantly architect visionary e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to strategize interactively. Without preplanned users, transparent infrastructures are forced to become transparent. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to streamline. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to disintermediate intra-dynamically. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think macro-customer-directed. We will regenerate our capability to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to drive. We will deliver the term "cross-media". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to strategize efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized aggregation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you empower intuitively then you may also matrix iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Without appropriate web-readiness, communities are forced to become long-term. The obfuscation factor is B2B2C, user-defined.