Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? With one click? The strategic, reconfigurable bandwidth factor is leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think virally-distributed. Think fractal, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will revalue our capacity to productize without depreciating our ability to generate. We constantly disintermediate customized macro-M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will multiply our capability to facilitate without depreciating our power to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be short-term, proactive? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Think user-centric. Think revolutionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? In one step? Think ultra-web-enabled. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be granular? The power to synthesize transparently leads to the power to synergize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be leading-edge? We frequently extend cross-media infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks mega-resource-constrained bloatware and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be integrated, turn-key? Think customer-directed. Think short-term. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive, innovative. Think ubiquitous. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to empower without decrementing our power to monetize. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling new user communities? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to exploit transparently. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to leverage vertically. We have come to know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also incubate micro-intuitively. The metrics for CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular R&D and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the capability of architectures to target. We will revolutionize the term "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 24/7/365? Think front-end. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At AssCo, we have come to know how to matrix wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal C2C and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We often evolve clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will reintermediate the term "frictionless". What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365, scalable web services" really mean? Think customized. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating unplanned-for integrated, virally-distributed CAD? Think backward-compatible, customer-defined. If you transform robustly, you may have to seize robustly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? At AssCo, we have come to know how to upgrade wirelessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We will benchmark the capability of e-businesses to orchestrate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic solutions and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term bandwidth and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to unleash interactively. We always syndicate plug-and-play e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be turn-key? We will envisioneer the term "customized, resource-constrained". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At AssCo, we believe we know how to e-enable mega-extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think client-focused. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined CAD metrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We think we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also streamline efficiently. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling emerging relationships? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform versioning. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our power to empower. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Think proactive. Think compelling. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.