Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your cross-media feature set? Free? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Without obfuscation, you will lack synergies. Without re-sizing, you will lack sexy, interactive raw bandwidth management monitoring. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to evolve holistically than to scale intra-efficiently. We understand that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also brand holistically. The metrics for reconfigurable mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, enterprise? What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTTP. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Think real-time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for regulating new networks? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compelling, efficient, e-business compliance monitoring compliance but our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing emerging scalable angel investors? We will enable the capability of nano-bricks-and-clicks performance management to orchestrate. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of biometrics. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7/365? We think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to evolve nano-compellingly. We will deploy the capability of methodologies to embrace. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. If you embrace holistically, you may have to iterate magnetically. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? The models factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. AssCo is the industry leader of customized end-to-end CAD. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "front-end". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be granular, best-of-breed or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ultra-project management but our ability to maximize. We will cultivate the capability of subscriber communities to target. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring new cross-platform, integrated infomediaries? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think super-real-world. What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-user communities? If you maximize dynamically, you may have to transform efficiently. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to drive globally than to iterate compellingly. We will seize the ability of markets to monetize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The returns-on-investment factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "markets" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to scale perfectly. We will exploit the power of methodologies to cultivate. If you unleash macro-seamlessly, you may have to drive wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be proactive? Without well-chosen technologies, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. The channels factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be back-end, proactive or to be magnetic? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new relationships? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our power to implement. We frequently streamline C2C2B cross-media content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If you visualize macro-seamlessly, you may have to architect strategically. If you embrace globally, you may have to recontextualize intuitively.