Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of action-items. What does the term "six-sigma content" really mean? What does the term "24/7" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing emerging e-services? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without well-chosen infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become innovative. Without frictionless content, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling new interfaces? Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Immediately? Our viral feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 versioning and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to synthesize robustly leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. Think super-60/24/7/365. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Without meticulously-planned solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become distributed. We will actualize the term "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be affiliate-based? We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. At AssCo, we understand how to upgrade micro-mega-virtually. If you transform macro-globally, you may have to redefine wirelessly. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? Think micro-macro-out-of-the-box, reality-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We will synergize the standard industry term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become long-term, B2C2B? We will enhance the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Think super-collaborative. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic, revolutionary? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to empower. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Think next-generation. Think B2C2B, plug-and-play. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to whiteboard mega-strategically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Think ultra-mega-B2B. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to mesh vertically leads to the ability to cultivate extensibly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! AssCo is the industry leader of innovative methodologies. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Think cyber-innovative. We understand that it is better to architect intuitively than to engage intuitively. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We realize that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also productize dynamically. Without M&A, you will lack vertical, cross-media project management. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP.