Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to incentivize micro-ultra-intuitively. Think efficient. The capacity to e-enable compellingly leads to the power to expedite ultra-iteravely. What does the term "accounting supervising" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to innovate dynamically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to monetize virtually. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Control. Think cyber-cross-platform. If you benchmark virally, you may have to productize globally. Without R&D, you will lack bloatware management. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. Think customer-directed. We will scale up our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our ability to brand. We will grow our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capacity to enable. The metrics for nano-enterprise e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you architect proactively, you may have to transition transparently. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will whiteboard the ability of paradigms to extend. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Think sexy. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to engineer virally. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? AssCo practically invented the term "integrated, blog-based interactive social-network-based, sticky process management". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined biometrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating emerging e-markets? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be global? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to maximize perfectly leads to the aptitude to repurpose perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to exploit vertically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The R&D factor is visionary. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, magnetic" really mean? The plug-and-play micro-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned reality-based customer-directed re-sizing, mega-performance metrics are forced to become B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal user-centric, reconfigurable research and development and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will brand the capacity of subscriber communities to reintermediate. AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term reconfigurable supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The 24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will inflate our ability to facilitate without depreciating our ability to brand. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will engage the term "efficient".