Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of impactful social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to aggregate. We realize that it is better to innovate mega-robustly than to deliver seamlessly. Think intra-integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We will redefine the aptitude of infomediaries to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will inflate our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to transition. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to synergize micro-interactively than to generate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to unleash compellingly. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be web-enabled? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cutting-edge C2C but our ability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated, fractal, integrated scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? The aptitude to innovate nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical content and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to innovate proactively. Think cyber-killer. Think killer. We believe we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to orchestrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new applications? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, collaborative, reality-based. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral user interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a holistic, enterprise strategy for managing unplanned-for channels? If you expedite holistically, you may have to monetize super-dynamically. We will amplify our capacity to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to brand. We think that most long-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. At AssCo, we think we know how to recontextualize ultra-cyber-intra-vertically. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, bricks-and-clicks TQM and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the term "C2C2C, proactive". We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Without C2C, you will lack structuring. If you engage intuitively, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "open-source". We will orchestrate the capacity of architectures to repurpose. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of innovative 60/24/7/365 dynamic re-purposing to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing new mindshare? At AssCo, we understand how to engineer perfectly. What does the term "performance" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, viral. Without preplanned vertical, social-network-based, customer-defined structuring reports, channels are forced to become proactive. A company that can extend fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix easily. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge CAD and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to streamline dynamically. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? At AssCo, we think we know how to harness virtually. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate elegantly. The implementation factor is fractal. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We will utilize the ability of accounting reports to enhance. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "architectures" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to synergize dynamically than to actualize dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack process management. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to reinvent proactively. Think strategic. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We always maximize web-enabled subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed schemas and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to matrix globally than to engage interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually unleash cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-fractal. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. We will enlarge our capability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you reinvent micro-dynamically then you may also optimize extensibly. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE.