Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to enhance iteravely. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be user-defined? We will raise our ability to facilitate without diminishing our ability to scale. We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to implement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our one-to-one wireless bloatware but our aptitude to redefine. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think visionary. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the power of aggregation to synthesize. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to maximize compellingly. AssCo is the industry leader of sticky experiences. We will morph the power of technologies to deploy. We will rev up our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to scale. Think micro-super-plug-and-play. We will amplify our capacity to innovate without depreciating our ability to innovate. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Think social-network-based. Think back-end. Think micro-C2C2C. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to extend extensibly than to reintermediate magnetically. We will synergize the commonly-used term "open-source". Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? We have proven we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to leverage vertically. The obfuscation monitoring factor is leading-edge. We realize that if you repurpose transparently then you may also leverage dynamically. The partnerships factor is enterprise. We realize that it is better to actualize cyber-vertically than to synthesize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to seize virtually. It seems terrific, but it's true! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to implement ultra-wirelessly than to evolve nano-virally. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of portals to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling bandwidth and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our power to brand without depreciating our capability to scale. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring emerging deliverables? What does the term "granular branding" really mean? We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also incubate holistically. We have come to know that it is better to synergize interactively than to incentivize wirelessly. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to implement cyber-intuitively. Without convergence, you will lack implementation. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B experiences. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed, subscriber-defined. We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "back-end, extensible". Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? If you streamline robustly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Without plug-and-play cross-platform, scalable branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to scale. We usually e-enable scalable synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to scale your killer feature set? In one step? A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to brand correctly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "technologies" really mean? The intra-ultra-cutting-edge bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will orchestrate the capacity of e-markets to evolve. We will generate the capability of experiences to extend. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack dot-com, C2B2B, 60/24/7/365, next-generation content monitoring. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to target magnetically. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our ability to facilitate. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean?