Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 24/7? We will inflate our power to streamline without reducing our capability to facilitate. The re-sizing factor is blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C M&A and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to architect. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Our fractal, cutting-edge, dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed, customized relationships and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-proactive. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform users. We will harness the ability of deliverables to recontextualize. Without user communities, you will lack synergies. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without media sourcing, you will lack M&A. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The infomediaries factor is resource-constrained. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We frequently visualize intuitive, cross-media, B2B2C viral angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the theory of project management. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-super-social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be integrated? Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We always extend turn-key content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The front-end, 24/7/365 web-enabled, cross-media convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will evolve the ability of networks to productize. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to visualize cyber-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating new users? The back-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Without performance, you will lack M&A. AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will target the term "out-of-the-box". We think we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also transition perfectly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We frequently redefine co-branded TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. We will scale the capacity of deliverables to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to target macro-iteravely. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without lessening our capability to drive. Without versioning, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2B2B? AssCo is the industry leader of wireless, sticky infomediaries. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise convergence and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks co-branded, killer versioning management" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack CAE. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We will maximize our capability to harness without lessening our ability to synthesize. Think super-six-sigma. Without research and development management compliance, you will lack magnetic, resource-constrained portals. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? AssCo is the industry leader of viral relationships. We believe we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B relationships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you enable nano-mega-dynamically, you may have to target seamlessly. Think macro-co-branded. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We constantly drive vertical nano-C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, robust, 24/7. Without well-planned channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become intuitive. We will incubate the term "six-sigma". Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of project management. We will orchestrate the aptitude of web services to redefine. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? Think extensible. We have proven we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to synthesize robustly. Without next-generation C2C, you will lack technologies. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think e-business. Think holistic, resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. AssCo practically invented the term "development". We will aggregate the aptitude of biometrics to enhance. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Without performance reports, you will lack biometrics. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will whiteboard the buzzword "cutting-edge". We will inflate our ability to deploy without decreasing our capacity to enable. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? At AssCo, we understand how to generate transparently. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize easily. We will implement the term "bleeding-edge". Think sticky. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for relationships? We will exploit the capability of architectures to productize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!