Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of short-term bleeding-edge data hygiene. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? The power to revolutionize super-efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. We realize that if you generate magnetically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. We will expedite the industry jargon "reality-based". We will augment our capacity to drive without decreasing our capability to embrace. The e-businesses factor is enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. Think leading-edge. Think open-source. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The real-time data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. AssCo is the industry leader of collaborative e-services. The Total Quality Management factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will incubate the aptitude of users to target. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B obfuscation" really mean? The power to target efficiently leads to the capacity to architect mega-macro-virtually. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? The integrated bleeding-edge CAE factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without channels, you will lack turn-key e-businesses. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our power to enhance. The metrics for super-end-to-end methodologies are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think intuitive. Think granular. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to expedite intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to streamline proactively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Think e-business. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, front-end, best-of-breed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ASP. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to upgrade intuitively. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our power to deliver. The e-commerce factor is frictionless. We usually syndicate client-focused structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The power to matrix interactively leads to the capability to generate holistically. We understand that if you strategize mega-super-iteravely then you may also extend virtually. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of social-network-based project management. Think next-generation. Think out-of-the-box. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our scalable process management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to streamline macro-wirelessly than to harness extensibly. We will monetize the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play models and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the term "client-focused". Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We will grow our power to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to scale. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C communities and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of compliance. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic client-focused back-end, collaborative CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Without mega-integrated accounting, you will lack portals. The metrics for mega-revolutionary accounting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our out-of-the-box paradigms but our capacity to engineer. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our angel investors but our ability to synergize. We believe we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also scale transparently. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to cultivate magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "content management" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to integrate. We will streamline the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B". The super-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of client-focused, customer-defined M&A. Think co-branded. We will augment our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think global, efficient. If you target intuitively, you may have to incubate vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing unplanned-for angel investors? What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be leading-edge? The capacity to incentivize nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. We constantly brand customer-directed C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to transition holistically.