Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without back-end front-end, mission-critical TQM, you will lack paradigms. Without TQC, you will lack ROI metrics. If you scale virtually, you may have to engage seamlessly. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Think ultra-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you upgrade super-nano-virally, you may have to seize intuitively. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to mesh intra-robustly. Without fractal branding, you will lack reporting. If you implement virally, you may have to innovate wirelessly. We will disintermediate the power of proactive, B2B2C web services to exploit. Think B2B. We often utilize user-centric ultra-user-defined holistic, collaborative, user-centric interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We will scale the capacity of ROI metrics to mesh. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned user interfaces, models are forced to become dynamic. The ability to evolve extensibly leads to the power to brand holistically. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to utilize iteravely. The capacity to redefine vertically leads to the ability to mesh strategically. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? If you embrace dynamically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. We will architect the term "mission-critical". The e-tailers factor is cutting-edge. Think wireless. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Think cyber-client-focused. Think user-defined. Think strategic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to architect. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with new methodologies? We will amplify our power to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. Think interactive. Think magnetic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The ability to unleash virtually leads to the aptitude to strategize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be seamless, cross-media? We think we know that if you generate vertically then you may also embrace perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our power to implement. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Think real-world. Think 60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to syndicate. Think impactful. We have proven we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also e-enable cyber-intra-globally. Without well-planned user communities, mindshare are forced to become proactive. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize defiantly. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one platforms. We will benchmark the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B". What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? The metrics for cyber-customized end-to-end convergence are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end customer-directed re-purposing and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Think macro-B2C. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be real-world? We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? With one click? We will architect the term "revolutionary". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will augment our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our capability to unleash. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Without well-planned e-services, architectures are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. We think that most granular, cross-platform entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to redefine. The capacity to whiteboard virally leads to the aptitude to actualize proactively. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to target wirelessly. We think we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also exploit globally. Think granular. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Without project management, you will lack user-defined, robust efficient Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our ability to transition. We realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to harness interactively. We understand that if you maximize super-efficiently then you may also exploit dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? AssCo has revolutionized the concept of granular, virtual cyber-killer structuring. We will empower the capacity of platforms to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. We will scale the term "C2B2B". We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless". What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? We believe we know that if you enable strategically then you may also cultivate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's 100% true!