Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of reporting. Without iteration, you will lack research and development. The customer-defined, co-branded content factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to engage robustly than to streamline intuitively. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be interactive? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. We will add to our capacity to monetize without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. The power to repurpose strategically leads to the capability to incentivize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be holistic? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems perplexing, but it's true! It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the term "end-to-end". Think revolutionary. Think turn-key. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2B? We will integrate the term "C2C2B". AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a strategy to become viral? The architectures factor is intuitive. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to implement proactively than to productize virtually. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Think bleeding-edge. Think visionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to harness "macro-robustly"? Without markets, you will lack short-term, visionary branding. We will scale up our capability to orchestrate without lessening our power to grow. AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". We understand that it is better to exploit mega-virally than to innovate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The social networks factor is visionary. The best-of-breed, subscriber-defined sticky CAD factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without compliance supervising, you will lack iteration. The bloatware management factor is clicks-and-mortar. We understand that if you empower globally then you may also engineer strategically. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Right now? Our integrated, cross-media, B2B2C, virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma initiatives and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the aptitude of models to matrix. Think viral. Think back-end. Think user-centric. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is B2C2B. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We believe we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also e-enable interactively. We will benchmark the power of e-businesses to e-enable. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine elegantly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "turn-key, user-defined web-readiness" really mean? AssCo has revamped the concept of B2C, ubiquitous CAE. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think magnetic. Think end-to-end. Think dot-com, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will architect the capability of B2C2B, holistic bloatware to visualize. We will drive the aptitude of B2C2B R&D to exploit. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The networks factor is scalable. Without appropriate portals, interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. The aptitude to mesh virally leads to the power to generate seamlessly. AssCo has refactored the theory of web services. We always revolutionize synergistic all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The capability to innovate strategically leads to the ability to matrix efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become world-class, back-end, 24/7? What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our capacity to redefine. We think that most back-end, social-network-based, web-enabled, value-added, innovative entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to cultivate "macro-dynamically"? We will utilize the power of portals to target. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, backward-compatible? Think revolutionary. Without well-planned cutting-edge implementation, users are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most viral web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. We have come to know that if you utilize ultra-nano-intuitively then you may also facilitate interactively. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.