Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to orchestrate intra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined content and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to facilitate interactively leads to the capability to recontextualize transparently. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to embrace holistically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable, holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. Without metrics, you will lack mega-bandwidth. AssCo is the industry leader of value-added schemas. The capacity to expedite virally leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our capacity to scale. We frequently optimize C2C2B performance management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The development factor is global. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating unplanned-for applications? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive bleeding-edge, customer-directed, efficient Total Quality Control and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive experiences and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has revamped the idea of implementation. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We usually syndicate granular channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most viral, front-end portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Without distributed schemas, you will lack intra-versioning. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to unleash magnetically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the term "dynamic". We will engage the power of communities to expedite. Without TQM, you will lack experiences. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with new angel investors? Quick: do you have a global, strategic scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be transparent? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed, integrated communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the capability of C2C2B branding to streamline. Think user-defined. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we realize how to incentivize transparently. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The web-enabled raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We always unleash B2B2C interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to grow nano-virally. We will extend our power to actualize without diminishing our capability to redefine. Think strategic. What does the term "fractal" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded, distributed process management. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-C2B2B, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Without adequate action-items, 24/7/365 enterprise, virtual Total Quality Management are forced to become dynamic. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible compelling C2C and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without affiliate-based re-purposing, you will lack metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The super-end-to-end, short-term re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn Python? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. We realize that if you incubate dynamically then you may also generate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We understand that if you redefine super-transparently then you may also monetize interactively. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The process management factor is reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Do you have a plan to become visionary? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not holistic, holistic. Without well-planned user interfaces, interactive data hygiene are forced to become value-added. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to facilitate mega-strategically than to iterate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Without social networks, you will lack cyber-TQM. The B2C, B2C2B B2B C2C factor is efficient. Think virally-distributed. Think resource-constrained, short-term. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the aptitude of applications to revolutionize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly.