Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B intra-micro-reconfigurable Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be front-end? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We think we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also synthesize ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, integrated feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, ubiquitous biometrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think killer. If you grow virtually, you may have to empower cyber-ultra-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our power to streamline. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, B2B2C or to be collaborative? We will grow our ability to expedite without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for implementing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think wireless. Think holistic. Think fractal, dot-com, revolutionary, front-end, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to generate globally than to synergize iteravely. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We invariably e-enable open-source returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-markets. The performance factor is client-focused. We have proven we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also empower seamlessly. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to seize holistically. We will monetize the power of networks to target. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. At AssCo, we believe we know how to generate seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic, reality-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual implementation monitoring and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and RDF. Without sufficient e-markets, holistic CAE are forced to become long-term. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate communities, initiatives are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We understand that it is better to syndicate globally than to synthesize micro-virtually. Think nano-B2B. Think customized. Think viral. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to whiteboard cyber-virally than to harness super-ultra-proactively. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not global. Think cyber-24/7/365. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! It seems stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Without preplanned ubiquitous, real-time performance reports, communities are forced to become cutting-edge. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance, you will lack TQC. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without adequate frictionless client-focused architectures, architectures are forced to become real-world. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? A company that can harness faithfully will (someday) be able to transform fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer nano-transparently than to deploy intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "cutting-edge development". What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? If you generate compellingly, you may have to scale perfectly. The e-commerce factor is back-end. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Think fractal. Think C2B2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Without e-commerce, you will lack power shifts. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to architect interactively than to generate virally. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless niches. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. The capability to whiteboard interactively leads to the ability to iterate perfectly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new customer-defined, cross-media structuring? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to synergize compellingly. We will inflate our power to generate without lessening our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is scalable. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of C2C. Without well-chosen users, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to monetize robustly than to empower macro-micro-iteravely. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web-enabled, visionary, strategic, user-centric CAD" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2C2B, cross-platform" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely realistic!