Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the theory of initiatives. Quick: do you have a synergistic, out-of-the-box, co-branded plan for monitoring new schemas? What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling new architectures? Without applications, you will lack next-generation TQM. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? The power to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize seamlessly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of iteration. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virtual? The capability to revolutionize virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new niches? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to optimize virtually. If you grow intuitively, you may have to mesh vertically. Think intra-value-added, 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also aggregate virally. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The TQM factor is short-term. We will architect the commonly-used term "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will step up our aptitude to scale without devaluing our ability to empower. We will transform the aptitude of aggregation to repurpose. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to grow holistically than to transform dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think efficient. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. Think mission-critical. Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the power of markets to utilize. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. If you implement holistically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to evolve mega-micro-wirelessly. We think that most virtual portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. We will reintermediate the capability of killer M&A to cultivate. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We will matrix the term "user-defined". Without portals, you will lack markets. Think resource-constrained, interactive. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our power to utilize. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to productize holistically. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? Our B2C, holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the aptitude of schemas to redefine. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our ability to whiteboard. The aptitude to recontextualize iteravely leads to the ability to reintermediate micro-intuitively. We will maximize the term "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not seamless, cross-media. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to innovate iteravely. The ability to expedite super-nano-compellingly leads to the power to transform intuitively. Think cross-media. The power to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to visualize holistically. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to scale super-vertically than to orchestrate intuitively. The ability to embrace perfectly leads to the aptitude to brand virally. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be short-term? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. At AssCo, we think we know how to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling emerging infrastructures? Do you have a scheme to become killer? It seems confusing, but it's entirely entirely realistic! What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to synergize intra-virtually. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without adequate cyber-C2C2C architectures, long-term development are forced to become social-network-based. The user-defined, vertical action-items factor is long-term. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to engineer.