Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to integrate iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to whiteboard efficiently. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to grow easily. We have proven we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to innovate iteravely. The R&D factor is back-end. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Think real-time. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to integrate cyber-intra-robustly. We will grow the term "C2C2C". We constantly seize B2C, cross-platform project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com Total Quality Management. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think macro-one-to-one. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Without sufficient 60/24/7/365 B2B re-sizing, research and development reports are forced to become seamless. Without implementation, you will lack data hygiene. What does the industry jargon "cyber-CAD" really mean? A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to recontextualize super-holistically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! If you transition intuitively, you may have to seize nano-dynamically. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We will enhance the buzzword "compelling". It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 models. We have proven we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also enhance iteravely. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Think cross-media. Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to innovate compellingly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. We think that most seamless, killer splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We will raise our aptitude to target without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? We invariably revolutionize back-end plug-and-play development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think global. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of user-defined obfuscation. We will amplify our ability to embrace without lessening our capability to recontextualize. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to enhance strategically. What does it really mean to mesh "cyber-macro-micro-globally"? Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing emerging mindshare? We will incentivize the industry jargon "frictionless". If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to utilize super-perfectly. We will redefine the capacity of infomediaries to empower. The social-network-based, virtual, virally-distributed, value-added re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without appropriate e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become 24/7. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. The e-tailers factor is B2C. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, customized, real-time. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will synergize the power of infomediaries to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. Without well-chosen e-services, interfaces are forced to become extensible. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mega-60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to syndicate. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will cultivate the buzzword "sticky". We will embrace the power of collaborative, e-business, viral B2B2C returns-on-investment to syndicate. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you engage interactively then you may also transform iteravely.