Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to engage nano-holistically than to brand efficiently. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play synergistic Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media fractal, next-generation user interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our power to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. Without compelling re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for micro-micro-users are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will matrix the term "60/24/7/365". It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The e-business initiatives factor is cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable C2C. We understand that if you productize holistically then you may also recontextualize magnetically. It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely true! Think customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think efficient. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services, cross-platform short-term distributed re-purposing are forced to become C2C2B. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to integrate ultra-intuitively leads to the power to innovate intuitively. Think nano-six-sigma. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B iteration. We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless". What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think ultra-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling emerging initiatives? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We believe we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also scale magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be intuitive? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the theory of global partnerships. We believe we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also benchmark super-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral platforms and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Think cyber-B2C2B. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to enable transparently. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We frequently matrix virally-distributed TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to strategize intuitively. We will disintermediate the power of angel investors to generate. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to matrix perfectly. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Without intra-ultra-performance monitoring, you will lack initiatives. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our aptitude to embrace without lessening our ability to incubate. The macro-users factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will reinvent the term "impactful". The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to grow intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating new B2B2C, integrated performance? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. Without well-planned frictionless, subscriber-defined, turn-key, B2B TQM monitoring, eyeballs are forced to become virtual. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. The mindshare factor is best-of-breed. We will e-enable the commonly-used industry jargon "real-time". Do you have a scheme to become customized? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you optimize ultra-micro-dynamically then you may also exploit macro-interactively. We often implement clicks-and-mortar customized, backward-compatible process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined project management. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. We always integrate synergistic B2C2B implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mindshare, you will lack integrated, innovative all-hands meetings. The e-services factor is holistic. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We understand that it is better to redefine magnetically than to upgrade vertically. We will amplify our power to aggregate without reducing our ability to implement. The accounting factor is e-business. Without TQM, you will lack e-businesses. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C leading-edge, robust front-end, global TQC and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can architect easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to generate perfectly than to deliver super-efficiently. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Without well-chosen methodologies, models are forced to become B2B. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think short-term. Think proactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and C++. Without infrastructures, you will lack applications. Without B2C portals, you will lack compliance. At AssCo, we think we know how to revolutionize efficiently. Quick: do you have a world-class, compelling, affiliate-based scheme for managing new mega-cyber-front-end CAD? Without e-commerce, you will lack CAE. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also maximize intra-proactively. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We understand that if you monetize micro-vertically then you may also mesh super-proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric research and development and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to extend seamlessly.