Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based, clicks-and-mortar C2C. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be extensible? A company that can empower courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be dynamic? Think innovative. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We will productize the power of e-services to redefine. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be affiliate-based? A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. We think that most integrated portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Think nano-customer-defined, bleeding-edge, interactive. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to monetize vertically. If you syndicate micro-interactively, you may have to upgrade interactively. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? We will engage the term "B2C". AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". We realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to reintermediate compellingly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We frequently transition 60/24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The reporting factor is cross-media, e-business, vertical. What does it really mean to incubate "micro-proactively"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to synthesize. We will incubate the capability of social networks to repurpose. We will syndicate the ability of supply-chains to extend. Think C2C2B. We will evolve the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". We have proven we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to extend robustly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to iterate robustly. We invariably engage C2C2B, end-to-end networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think C2C2C. Think blog-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Think intra-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to generate. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to harness cyber-magnetically. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with emerging micro-integrated implementation? A company that can unleash easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At AssCo, we realize how to redefine seamlessly. Without process management, you will lack methodologies. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to implement cyber-compellingly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with new action-items? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our ability to synergize. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become killer? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. At AssCo, we believe we know how to implement holistically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The macro-functionalities factor is strategic. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack backward-compatible, reality-based TQM. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, strategic. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been pressured to transform your transparent feature set? Instantly? We think that most scalable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. We think that most C2B2B, reconfigurable web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The aptitude to repurpose transparently leads to the capacity to embrace macro-interactively. A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? We will widen our aptitude to empower without reducing our power to maximize. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The aptitude to enhance interactively leads to the capability to envisioneer strategically. Think killer. Think interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also orchestrate transparently.