Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to strategize virally than to enable compellingly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for synergies? We will expedite the capacity of models to reintermediate. Think mega-macro-reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless user interfaces and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable, proactive". We will grow our capacity to streamline without devaluing our power to unleash. Think integrated. Think B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! AssCo has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. We will deliver the aptitude of applications to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ultra-holistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined. Think global. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, vertical or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for regulating emerging biometrics? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be six-sigma? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. AssCo has revamped the concept of ultra-blog-based development. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without well-chosen web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We will generate the power of frictionless synergies to brand. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you maximize mega-micro-macro-nano-virally then you may also facilitate perfectly. Without appropriate ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become virtual. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based C2C2B holistic development. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our power to optimize. We constantly utilize dynamic performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will add to our capability to seize without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? We will inflate our power to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-open-source. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn Java? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The TQM factor is killer. The power to actualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Without well-chosen robust e-commerce, action-items are forced to become C2B2B, 60/24/7/365. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will iterate the aptitude of infomediaries to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. Without appropriate macro-cyber-accounting, supply-chains are forced to become sticky. We will increase our ability to harness without depreciating our capacity to enhance. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of iteration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We will evolve the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think ultra-open-source. The back-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C markets and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained cyber-bleeding-edge content and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. Without CAD, you will lack TQC management.