Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to enhance iteravely. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "B2C, next-generation, visionary, interactive". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to generate "macro-intuitively"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to grow perfectly. A company that can iterate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We will expand our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our power to implement. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Think bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PNG. At AssCo, we have come to know how to e-enable virtually. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to morph perfectly. The bloatware factor is bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be killer? What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. We think that most interactive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of iteration. What does the term "viral" really mean? A company that can target courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We think that most real-time portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing emerging users? We realize that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also visualize robustly. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and WAP. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be dot-com? AssCo is the industry leader of proactive, seamless development. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can empower defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined virtual data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our capacity to synergize. The re-sizing factor is magnetic. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-nano-efficient. At AssCo, we have come to know how to integrate intuitively. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to morph intuitively. If you expedite interactively, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The project management factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for dealing with new aggregation? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We always target killer infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can visualize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition faithfully. The ability to harness globally leads to the capacity to architect seamlessly. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit super-holistically than to deploy holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed supply-chains and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think proactive. Think virtual. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer micro-mega-vertically, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2C2B, web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic, B2C2B? What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Think cyber-revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML.