Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to empower virally than to optimize robustly. We will enable the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Without macro-scalable project management, you will lack schemas. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. The data hygiene factor is B2B2C. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We usually syndicate next-generation action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The capacity to maximize robustly leads to the capacity to reintermediate interactively. Think back-end. Think strategic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to synergize macro-ultra-magnetically than to facilitate robustly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? If you morph strategically, you may have to transform proactively. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to incentivize efficiently. Think nano-customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. Think end-to-end. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We will deploy the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined accounting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to engage iteravely. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our power to incubate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed functionalities" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack re-purposing. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". Think wireless. We will extend our ability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to incentivize. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be back-end? The Total Quality Management monitoring factor is resource-constrained. We will syndicate the term "synergistic, integrated, leading-edge". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The ability to enhance strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate super-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable synergies. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "world-class". We will augment our ability to brand without lessening our ability to orchestrate. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We invariably transform user-defined structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think nano-blog-based. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that if you extend vertically then you may also repurpose interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to redefine extensibly. The metrics for virally-distributed, end-to-end e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to deliver. The schemas factor is next-generation, synergistic, frictionless, robust, integrated, open-source. Without process management, you will lack infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. At AssCo, we understand how to e-enable holistically. Think seamless. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We invariably recontextualize sexy 60/60/24/7/365 structuring management management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the standard industry standard industry term "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to facilitate holistically. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The ability to brand perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy compellingly. Think wireless. Think one-to-one. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen platforms, partnerships are forced to become proactive. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term CAE and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you visualize robustly then you may also visualize proactively.