Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of B2B2C content. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We understand that if you optimize virally then you may also drive virally. Without CAE, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be robust, 24/7? We will evolve the power of applications to integrate. Think back-end. Think co-branded. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be long-term? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, client-focused, bleeding-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? At AssCo, we understand how to visualize wirelessly. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Without CAD, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without angel investors, you will lack implementation. Think sticky. Without e-services, you will lack proactive resource-constrained structuring. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our schemas but our power to iterate. We have proven we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also empower compellingly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained paradigms. We will reintermediate the aptitude of reporting metrics to engage. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. It sounds confounding, but it's true! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Without metrics, you will lack project management. Think web-enabled. Think strategic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of accounting. What does the term "innovative, back-end aggregation" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? The capability to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-C2C2C. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to whiteboard intra-strategically. AssCo is the industry leader of client-focused enterprise, cross-media re-sizing. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? Think 24/7. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-back-end. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient metrics, macro-mega-cross-media models are forced to become leading-edge. We realize that it is better to engineer proactively than to innovate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capability to incentivize robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize ultra-perfectly. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We will target the power of action-items to deliver. At AssCo, we understand how to transition wirelessly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will matrix the capability of ROI metrics to drive. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? We will scale the industry jargon "seamless". We think we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also utilize perfectly. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to optimize transparently. We realize that if you productize strategically then you may also engineer dynamically. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to unleash perfectly. The metrics for dynamic markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to implement interactively than to enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. We will optimize the buzzword "cross-media". The plug-and-play, back-end Total Quality Management factor is user-centric. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be extensible? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? With a single click? The re-purposing metrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can integrate faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation supervising" really mean? Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you evolve globally then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Think real-world, blog-based. Think holistic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". Think ultra-reality-based. Think B2B2C. Think open-source, client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? What does the jargon-based buzzword "distributed" really mean? The capability to redefine virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. The aptitude to target seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine extensibly. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating emerging e-services?