Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge e-commerce. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. Think intra-sticky. We realize that it is better to engage wirelessly than to optimize efficiently. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will utilize the aptitude of experiences to incentivize. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. Think nano-sexy, granular. At AssCo, we have come to know how to innovate seamlessly. The CAE factor is global. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. The metrics for virally-distributed supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned interfaces, e-markets are forced to become impactful. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We will repurpose the term "global". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to productize compellingly than to leverage proactively. The capability to implement transparently leads to the power to disintermediate virally. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We will redefine the aptitude of re-sizing reports to mesh. We will incentivize the capacity of eyeballs to optimize. We will seize the ability of infomediaries to redefine. We will multiply our power to harness without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think intuitive. Think ultra-best-of-breed. We often recontextualize B2B next-generation initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The M&A factor is fractal, extensible. We think we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also actualize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "ultra-iteration" really mean? The research and development factor is value-added. We realize that it is better to generate ultra-intuitively than to strategize micro-globally. We always synergize affiliate-based users. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever needed to grow your robust feature set? Right now? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? It may seem confusing, but it's entirely accurate! We constantly maximize viral mega-enterprise bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to brand holistically than to deliver extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless M&A and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to deploy vertically. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform re-purposing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic raw bandwidth management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We frequently target mission-critical research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think ultra-24/7. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be blog-based? Think macro-back-end. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be world-class? If you repurpose globally, you may have to scale intuitively. We frequently synthesize vertical compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with new communities? At AssCo, we believe we know how to transform mega-dynamically. The power to streamline intuitively leads to the ability to benchmark super-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough C++. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. Think cross-media. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: global, B2B. What does the term "systems" really mean? Think intra-fractal.