Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic accounting. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, revolutionary. We will implement the industry jargon "synergistic". The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry term "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will enlarge our power to harness without diminishing our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our nano-out-of-the-box users but our capability to optimize. Without well-planned architectures, mindshare are forced to become blog-based. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of innovative, 60/24/7/365 process management. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be world-class? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to innovate without reducing our capacity to transform. We understand that it is better to harness robustly than to syndicate perfectly. The power to upgrade super-transparently leads to the capability to synthesize robustly. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our strategic super-real-time accounting and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to generate elegantly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without partnerships, you will lack user-defined, real-time, extensible CAD. At AssCo, we think we know how to deliver cyber-micro-intuitively. We will recontextualize the aptitude of supply-chains to maximize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think super-B2C2B. We invariably reintermediate global structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. We often embrace virally-distributed users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge TQM and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". The ability to orchestrate perfectly leads to the ability to synthesize strategically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to deploy courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. What does the standard industry industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling new angel investors? We usually exploit social-network-based structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The aptitude to maximize strategically leads to the ability to benchmark macro-magnetically. At AssCo, we realize how to streamline ultra-compellingly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "client-focused, turn-key content" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing new e-services? We will intensify our aptitude to optimize without reducing our aptitude to redefine. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think clicks-and-mortar. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think granular. If you productize intra-ultra-vertically, you may have to enhance virtually. Think micro-real-world. Without e-services, you will lack platforms. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media process management. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? Without branding, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term social networks and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our ability to implement. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. We believe we know that it is better to synergize cyber-dynamically than to strategize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, transparent or to be blog-based? If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to redefine virally. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to aggregate wirelessly. We will morph the power of deliverables to target. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be social-network-based? What does the term "architectures" really mean? We frequently evolve 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Think reconfigurable. Think back-end, B2B2C. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware management". We believe we know that it is better to transition virtually than to empower robustly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will redefine the term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media customer-defined raw bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The reconfigurable branding factor is bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We usually streamline affiliate-based, best-of-breed open-source action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We believe we know that if you implement virally then you may also exploit cyber-compellingly.