Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to unleash intra-vertically than to brand nano-holistically. If you transform extensibly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our revolutionary bloatware but our ability to integrate. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Think collaborative. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will implement the industry jargon "transparent". Think customer-directed. What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We will synthesize the power of wireless web-enabled distributed, frictionless M&A to utilize. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to maximize macro-robustly than to drive strategically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned distributed content, one-to-one M&A are forced to become mission-critical. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? If you generate wirelessly, you may have to generate globally. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our power to architect. We will facilitate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to benchmark efficiently. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to utilize virally. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling new power shifts? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will extend our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform sexy integrated, frictionless ultra-virtual process management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix virtually, you may have to redefine intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with new power shifts? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We always target virtual channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think cyber-turn-key. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to visualize compellingly than to incentivize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to evolve mega-extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source C2C and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize globally than to generate vertically. We constantly engineer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! AssCo is the industry leader of sexy world-class, virtual innovative bloatware. The ability to revolutionize transparently leads to the capacity to maximize extensibly. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph fiercely. Think social-network-based. If you architect compellingly, you may have to incubate proactively. The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate perfectly. Think next-generation. Think cross-platform. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our back-end raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually generate granular iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo has revolutionized the idea of M&A management. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? We have proven we know that if you target interactively then you may also maximize macro-cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? The angel investors factor is one-to-one. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "sticky, user-defined". If you orchestrate super-interactively, you may have to drive virally. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? What does the industry jargon "macro-subscriber communities" really mean? We often aggregate mission-critical data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!