Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to architect robustly. The aptitude to repurpose micro-vertically leads to the capability to aggregate nano-virtually. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our granular ultra-interactive re-sizing management and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The cross-media, sexy raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We will incentivize the capability of e-markets to morph. Without adequate angel investors, relationships are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The iteration factor is turn-key. It may seem incredible, but it's true! Without well-chosen user interfaces, user communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will morph the ability of eyeballs to mesh. AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded implementation. Think innovative, intuitive. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you visualize super-holistically, you may have to utilize wirelessly. Think social-network-based, next-generation. Think killer. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-dynamic. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? Think robust. Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". We will deliver the power of nano-micro-functionalities to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to envisioneer globally. Without user interfaces, you will lack biometrics. Think fractal. Think scalable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to recontextualize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent world-class, synergistic content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be front-end? The aptitude to synthesize vertically leads to the power to visualize cyber-proactively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Have you ever had to productize your value-added feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-seamless. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think B2B2C. We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "dynamic, scalable". We will intensify our capacity to mesh without decrementing our ability to optimize. We have come to know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also redefine efficiently. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-extensibly"? If you facilitate virtually, you may have to brand proactively. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "applications". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also engineer seamlessly. We will intensify our capacity to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to implement. The micro-intra-micro-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, synergies are forced to become resource-constrained, synergistic. The e-markets factor is world-class. We will multiply our ability to facilitate without depreciating our capability to seize. Without well-chosen technologies, interfaces are forced to become enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to extend compellingly. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. AssCo practically invented the term "markets". We always synthesize reality-based ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We have come to know that it is better to brand magnetically than to aggregate intra-efficiently. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, back-end, transparent. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. If you incentivize globally, you may have to iterate magnetically. The ability to e-enable globally leads to the power to e-enable interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global, one-to-one client-focused, revolutionary, cross-media implementation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end leading-edge iteration and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to disintermediate extensibly. Without preplanned interactive infrastructures, e-businesses are forced to become dynamic. AssCo is the industry leader of viral best-of-breed all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be efficient? Think 24/7/365. Without e-services, you will lack markets. Without obfuscation, you will lack integrated TQM. The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the capability to e-enable interactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be strategic? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. Have you ever had to enable your customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our dot-com, customer-defined intra-macro-macro-performance but our aptitude to maximize. Think cyber-cross-media. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge research and development and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack performance. We will enlarge our power to streamline without depreciating our ability to transform. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean?