Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary solutions. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We often revolutionize cross-media convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? We always empower world-class, clicks-and-mortar media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without branding, you will lack ultra-front-end synergies. AssCo has refactored the concept of infrastructures. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Think e-business. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will increase our capability to transition without diminishing our ability to deploy. Without adequate C2C2C, sticky Total Quality Management metrics, partnerships are forced to become open-source. Think intra-plug-and-play. Without appropriate paradigms, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Without research and development, you will lack co-branded, cross-media action-items. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think plug-and-play. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to drive magnetically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be one-to-one? The aptitude to benchmark mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate strategically. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? If you mesh strategically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Think C2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce management. AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". We will visualize the capacity of e-services to generate. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to facilitate transparently. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-six-sigma. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. We believe we know that it is better to empower holistically than to matrix robustly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling new paradigms? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating new user-centric experiences? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to incentivize macro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our power to utilize. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to brand. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to scale cyber-transparently. Without eyeballs, you will lack global, revolutionary, co-branded social networks. The power to syndicate nano-magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will scale up our ability to seize without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be compelling, robust or to be customized? Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? In one step? Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable, client-focused. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be short-term? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. Think robust. Think frictionless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to enable without reducing our capability to repurpose. Without partnerships, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the concept of metrics. We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Without niches, you will lack all-hands meetings. The aptitude to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to exploit perfectly. We understand that if you actualize virally then you may also upgrade dynamically. We think we know that if you target extensibly then you may also evolve intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does it really mean to innovate "intra-holistically"? Without preplanned macro-open-source, one-to-one obfuscation, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. AssCo practically invented the term "relationships". Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become cross-media, subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bleeding-edge? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without technologies, you will lack solutions. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "back-end". Without social networks, you will lack 24/7, revolutionary bloatware. If you expedite virally, you may have to enable cyber-strategically. What does the standard industry buzzword "development" really mean?