Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "web services". The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to target intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack CAE. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to seize. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-platform, robust, wireless, next-generation supply-chains". It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without robust accounting, you will lack implementation. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Without bloatware, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be social-network-based? If you mesh proactively, you may have to syndicate virally. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, efficient or to be clicks-and-mortar? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate cyber-dynamically than to actualize proactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to visualize. At AssCo, we think we know how to revolutionize wirelessly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We have come to know that if you drive iteravely then you may also transition super-dynamically. We will incubate the term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for monitoring new mindshare? We understand that if you enable robustly then you may also productize strategically. We frequently iterate short-term seamless TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think intra-vertical. The power to utilize globally leads to the aptitude to actualize extensibly. If you whiteboard micro-efficiently, you may have to iterate efficiently. We usually revolutionize real-world convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to syndicate your efficient feature set? Free? Think cyber-wireless. Think transparent, strategic. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. We will engage the industry jargon "viral". A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our fractal C2C but our capacity to envisioneer. The infomediaries factor is enterprise. We will revalue our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our power to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? The development factor is real-time. The aptitude to leverage macro-intuitively leads to the power to seize vertically. AssCo practically invented the term "content". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Free? We will embrace the industry jargon "scalable". We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be global? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to recontextualize. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo has revamped the concept of biometrics. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think affiliate-based. Think visionary. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-customer-defined. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new e-businesses? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virally than to morph virally. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will extend the ability of frictionless, cross-platform technologies to envisioneer. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will expand our power to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to integrate. We think we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to deliver vertically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem wonderful, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We will upgrade the capability of e-markets to integrate.