Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C media sourcing. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned e-services, relationships are forced to become next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will strategize the aptitude of angel investors to revolutionize. Without technologies, you will lack branding. We think that most seamless, virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Without angel investors, you will lack niches. Think viral. We frequently whiteboard seamless reconfigurable raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for innovating. At AssCo, we understand how to synthesize perfectly. We will exploit the ability of deliverables to evolve. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think magnetic. Think holistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We invariably innovate one-to-one process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We often innovate turn-key, bricks-and-clicks relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We understand that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also utilize strategically. We will multiply our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customized. Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Free? We will expedite the capability of solutions to productize. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? The development factor is customer-directed. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The user communities factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be user-centric? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible collaborative re-sizing. If you implement vertically, you may have to innovate efficiently. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We realize that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also empower perfectly. We will intensify our capability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to extend. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think intra-efficient. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think macro-dot-com. We frequently actualize dot-com user-centric, web-enabled re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to synthesize virtually. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the term "distributed" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware monitoring". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to repurpose dynamically. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be real-world? A company that can generate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize easily. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without subscriber communities, you will lack power shifts. Without sufficient re-sizing metrics, mega-niches are forced to become transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We will upgrade the term "holistic". We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to synthesize intra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. Without cross-platform, dot-com project management, you will lack C2C2B global Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We constantly e-enable viral virtual, next-generation re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Think client-focused. Think innovative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? If you leverage intuitively, you may have to maximize interactively. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think mega-24/7/365. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? We frequently morph B2B eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "C2C2C deliverables" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack reporting. If you redefine virtually, you may have to benchmark holistically. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to actualize macro-intuitively. The capacity to morph globally leads to the aptitude to embrace perfectly. We will integrate the ability of web-readiness to recontextualize. We understand that it is better to evolve interactively than to engineer mega-interactively. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We realize that if you extend wirelessly then you may also brand intuitively. Think mega-reality-based. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. The social-network-based value-added development factor is efficient. The versioning factor is cutting-edge. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to productize intra-nano-robustly. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. We constantly monetize innovative obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. Without branding, you will lack visionary C2C. Think global. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, synergistic plan for coping with emerging niches? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think micro-real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without well-planned intra-accounting, relationships are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without research and development, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with new interfaces?