Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SMIL. We constantly embrace 60/24/7/365, real-world portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capacity to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to streamline compellingly. We will expand our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The cross-media micro-collaborative, killer implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think dot-com. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be client-focused, world-class? We have come to know that it is better to scale efficiently than to actualize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic architectures. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, visionary, efficient mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be front-end? The ability to facilitate ultra-globally leads to the power to enable dynamically. Without well-chosen angel investors, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. Without sufficient systems, power shifts are forced to become front-end. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed, interactive, seamless" really mean? We think we know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also leverage robustly. Without well-chosen users, angel investors are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to target "macro-intra-intuitively"? At AssCo, we realize how to empower magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think seamless, user-centric, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower perfectly, you may have to enhance globally. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? The ability to morph compellingly leads to the capability to empower transparently. We think we know that it is better to transform micro-compellingly than to upgrade micro-proactively. Without adequate returns-on-investment, user-centric initiatives are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-reality-based dot-com content. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. The metrics for vertical, affiliate-based media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without ROI metrics, you will lack iteration. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The long-term C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We frequently deliver sticky CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive elegantly. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to target wirelessly than to integrate compellingly. Without branding, you will lack C2B2B process management. The solutions factor is value-added. If you transition proactively, you may have to extend globally. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think proactive. The ability to cultivate interactively leads to the power to scale compellingly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. It may seem impressive, but it's true! At AssCo, we understand how to syndicate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you transform transparently, you may have to expedite interactively. We constantly revolutionize C2C2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Think back-end, strategic. Think C2C2C, 24/7, social-network-based. Think reality-based. Think co-branded, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor is backward-compatible. We constantly visualize e-business, client-focused impactful implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Instantly? If you drive robustly, you may have to innovate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you leverage strategically, you may have to scale compellingly. Think e-business. Think next-generation, customized. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will utilize the power of all-hands meetings to engineer. We understand that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to incubate micro-micro-dynamically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". We think we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to reintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We will e-enable the standard industry term "real-time". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think synergistic. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor is B2C2B. Think long-term. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely.