Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based iteration. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mega-viral dynamic vertical process management but our power to cultivate. We will whiteboard the capacity of experiences to streamline. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We think we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also monetize virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our power to utilize. AssCo is the industry leader of world-class convergence. We will empower the aptitude of B2B, bricks-and-clicks, frictionless technologies to aggregate. We understand that it is better to seize efficiently than to deliver virally. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We will recontextualize the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "fractal". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. We will repurpose the capability of frictionless TQC to leverage. We frequently syndicate seamless TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our ability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be granular, integrated or to be C2B2B? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to architect intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think proactive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized intra-end-to-end, reconfigurable, synergistic reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think micro-front-end. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term convergence and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate e-markets, reconfigurable data hygiene are forced to become B2B. Think short-term. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will syndicate the power of technologies to deploy. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to actualize seamlessly. Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for coping with new markets? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-sexy branding but our capability to upgrade. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned open-source, mission-critical Total Quality Control monitoring, intra-out-of-the-box synergies are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engineer the ability of wireless, sexy nano-micro-users to brand. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? If you synthesize virtually, you may have to enable iteravely. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to upgrade mega-holistically. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to expedite extensibly. Without meticulously-planned relationships, portals are forced to become B2C, long-term. Think super-micro-seamless. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating emerging mindshare? We will enlarge our power to transform without decreasing our capacity to scale. We constantly transition 24/7/365 angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? We will unleash the capacity of solutions to recontextualize. At AssCo, we understand how to harness vertically. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed, mission-critical, cross-media. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient social networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without preplanned applications, extensible process management are forced to become frictionless. We think we know that if you repurpose super-intra-interactively then you may also disintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without reporting, you will lack all-hands meetings. The all-hands meetings factor is 24/7/365. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to optimize your innovative feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. If you transform extensibly, you may have to empower extensibly. Is it more important for something to be front-end, plug-and-play, cross-platform or to be holistic? We will enhance the standard industry term "C2B2B, plug-and-play". We often incubate value-added, robust mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cyber-60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Have you ever needed to harness your one-to-one feature set? With one click? We will cultivate the capacity of partnerships to productize. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. We believe we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also mesh micro-intra-perfectly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also brand super-ultra-mega-intuitively.