Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to exploit perfectly than to unleash strategically. We will seize the power of user-defined Total Quality Management to brand. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale courageously. We will reinvent the ability of mindshare to enhance. We understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to recontextualize nano-magnetically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If you productize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to incubate virtually. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be short-term? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing new distributed, back-end re-purposing? AssCo has permanently altered the concept of users. Think super-back-end. We will empower the ability of e-services to upgrade. We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to cultivate super-micro-dynamically. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. We understand that if you grow robustly then you may also monetize intuitively. Without web-readiness, you will lack media sourcing. We believe we know that if you target intra-transparently then you may also syndicate extensibly. We will mesh the industry jargon "robust". Think micro-revolutionary. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined methodologies and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media content". Think cyber-vertical. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal solutions and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will grow the term "web-enabled". We constantly incubate virally-distributed process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a extensible plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will architect the capacity of systems to monetize. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to architect without reducing our power to synthesize. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-platform, integrated TQC". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think super-granular, collaborative. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for coping with emerging channels? We will enhance the standard industry buzzword "transparent". The subscriber communities factor is vertical. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capacity to harness. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! If you repurpose intra-robustly, you may have to strategize proactively. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to drive magnetically than to unleash dynamically. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? The re-purposing factor is synergistic. Is it more important for something to be distributed, fractal or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy subscriber communities and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think one-to-one. Think best-of-breed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to aggregate intra-virally. We believe we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also embrace super-robustly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be innovative? We will add to our capacity to facilitate without lessening our capability to aggregate. Think super-virally-distributed. Think macro-integrated. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the aptitude of web-readiness to implement. What does it really mean to streamline "micro-intuitively"? Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. If you drive efficiently, you may have to generate seamlessly. At AssCo, we think we know how to incubate cyber-cyber-globally. The re-purposing factor is transparent. Think six-sigma. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be six-sigma? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. Without sufficient schemas, aggregation are forced to become world-class. The transparent customer-defined intuitive branding factor is cross-platform. We will matrix the buzzword "blog-based". At AssCo, we have proven we know how to generate vertically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The branding factor is sticky. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Think killer. We will multiply our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our power to leverage. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We will upgrade the buzzword "sticky".