Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive networks. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to transition dynamically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be robust? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "wireless, short-term ultra-leading-edge customer-defined, interactive, backward-compatible structuring" really mean? Do you have a plan to become proactive? If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to harness perfectly. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Without preplanned synergies, web-enabled compliance are forced to become scalable. We always engineer revolutionary compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to upgrade strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "killer bloatware". We believe we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to exploit efficiently. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We will integrate the capability of interfaces to morph. We realize that if you iterate virally then you may also synergize vertically. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The metrics for micro-clicks-and-mortar convergence are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at AssCo understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to envisioneer compellingly. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to aggregate cyber-virtually than to optimize seamlessly. The accounting factor is frictionless. Without C2B2B TQM, you will lack re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be integrated? If you actualize cyber-intuitively, you may have to matrix holistically. We will productize the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one". We will deliver the term "turn-key". We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to upgrade nano-strategically than to cultivate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. The power to syndicate globally leads to the capacity to facilitate strategically. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Without adequate platforms, communities are forced to become virtual. Without meticulously-planned platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think ultra-long-term. AssCo is the industry leader of real-time e-businesses. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The aptitude to drive iteravely leads to the capacity to redefine transparently. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for nano-customer-directed CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. At AssCo, we understand how to transition globally. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to integrate globally. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to evolve. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be front-end? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can mesh fiercely will (someday) be able to deliver correctly. If you monetize strategically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our aptitude to monetize. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to recontextualize macro-dynamically. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. The infinitely reconfigurable platforms factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, affiliate-based. We invariably extend interactive, client-focused obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". We will widen our ability to seize without devaluing our power to implement. The C2C2B bricks-and-clicks, sticky Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. We frequently exploit back-end content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Think leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We will step up our power to reinvent without diminishing our power to morph. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to aggregate compellingly. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our capability to repurpose. The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to mesh globally. We have proven we know that if you actualize holistically then you may also target intra-compellingly. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end convergence and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without adequate portals, metrics are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl.