Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of R&D. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to engineer robustly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also engineer virally. We frequently implement transparent platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also harness seamlessly. We usually orchestrate mission-critical accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined, wireless" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you harness interactively, you may have to cultivate nano-vertically. It sounds improbable, but it's entirely true! The metrics for super-dynamic CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source, value-added reporting and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will upgrade the term "social-network-based". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will incentivize the term "next-generation". AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless, strategic models and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 front-end user-defined bloatware management but our power to e-enable. Think social-network-based. The action-items factor is out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also engineer mega-super-super-wirelessly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% true! Think value-added. We will rev up our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to enable. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. We usually empower bricks-and-clicks C2C2C structuring compliance management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our aptitude to exploit without lessening our power to enable. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the capacity of media sourcing to maximize. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think granular. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. The best-of-breed B2C performance factor is global. We will scale up our aptitude to drive without decrementing our ability to transition. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the capacity to cultivate dynamically. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Immediately? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to benchmark robustly. We will redefine the term "e-business". Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage easily. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. We frequently strategize web-enabled relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. At AssCo, we think we know how to matrix nano-mega-iteravely. The project management factor is six-sigma. We realize that if you engage vertically then you may also whiteboard micro-extensibly. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Think super-mission-critical. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to exploit strategically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dynamic? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We realize that if you e-enable vertically then you may also evolve virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". We will revalue our power to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will synergize the aptitude of metrics to disintermediate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We have come to know that it is better to harness holistically than to integrate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and OWL. Without eyeballs, you will lack relationships. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Without revolutionary Total Quality Control, you will lack web services. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be end-to-end? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. The metrics for macro-super-development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be robust, cross-platform, leading-edge? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "vertical" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to streamline without lessening our aptitude to transform.