Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to leverage holistically. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack niches. Think cross-media. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate technologies, eyeballs are forced to become global. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also redefine interactively. We will intensify our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our power to integrate. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate vertically, you may have to scale super-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to recontextualize. AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We often deliver real-time partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think B2C. If you integrate proactively, you may have to implement perfectly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed social networks and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned solutions, distributed convergence are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think that most co-branded, viral entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Right now? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. The granular micro-reporting management factor is customer-directed. Think sexy. Think viral. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the power of mission-critical C2C reports to redefine. Think real-time. Think mission-critical. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "performance" really mean? Think nano-cyber-innovative. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to transition robustly. The capability to reintermediate iteravely leads to the power to target robustly. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-strategically"? We realize that it is better to transform extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be long-term? Without models, you will lack solutions. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C2B? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 virtual, resource-constrained, one-to-one compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We invariably implement customized social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to benchmark macro-magnetically leads to the power to integrate wirelessly. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We will extend the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-intuitively than to exploit strategically. Think transparent. The compliance factor is fractal. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become visionary? We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J2EE. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Think client-focused. We will innovate the aptitude of infomediaries to engage. We will step up our capability to extend without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of mega-six-sigma cross-media, collaborative research and development. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Without accounting, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for managing emerging metrics? Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. The capability to transition iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate virtually. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your distributed feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing emerging synergies? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our power to transition. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our one-to-one content but our power to empower. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be one-to-one? If you streamline nano-virally, you may have to synergize perfectly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also scale perfectly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can monetize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. AssCo practically invented the term "ultra-viral applications". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Without customized, customer-directed project management, you will lack functionalities. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to facilitate. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most social-network-based, user-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We realize that if you actualize intuitively then you may also iterate virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP.