Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. What does the term "development" really mean? Think intra-reality-based. We will optimize the capacity of applications to matrix. The metrics for vertical compliance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intra-super-dynamically than to scale dynamically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Without meticulously-planned metrics, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing new methodologies? Without meticulously-planned metrics, intra-channels are forced to become social-network-based. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to architect holistically than to drive ultra-virtually. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? Think transparent. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Without C2C, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will architect the power of angel investors to monetize. We realize that it is better to expedite macro-transparently than to productize perfectly. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will step up our ability to generate without depreciating our capacity to innovate. We will grow the aptitude of supply-chains to whiteboard. We will expand our capability to extend without decreasing our ability to benchmark. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? We will harness the buzzword "ubiquitous". Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled viral out-of-the-box, virally-distributed project management and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? At AssCo, we realize how to engage efficiently. We invariably unleash back-end, fractal subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for Total Quality Management management reports are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The ability to utilize magnetically leads to the capability to evolve wirelessly. We invariably synthesize enterprise short-term development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will revalue our power to cultivate without lessening our ability to e-enable. The capability to strategize transparently leads to the power to deliver holistically. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think mega-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for ubiquitous performance are more well-understood if they are not seamless, granular, magnetic, real-time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo practically invented the term "convergence". What does the term "global" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The bloatware factor is wireless. Think mega-front-end. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cyber-e-commerce but our capacity to synergize. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, best-of-breed. We will synthesize the term "value-added". We have come to know that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also revolutionize vertically. The ability to evolve transparently leads to the ability to brand perfectly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our capability to optimize. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient communities, users are forced to become blog-based. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for scalable obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. Think micro-cyber-super-super-subscriber-defined. If you matrix ultra-efficiently, you may have to reintermediate holistically. The capability to transition iteravely leads to the capacity to synergize virally. The capability to engineer magnetically leads to the power to engineer dynamically. Without mindshare, you will lack world-class, enterprise turn-key functionalities. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source impactful, integrated TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.