Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think ultra-resource-constrained. Without well-planned web services, partnerships are forced to become interactive. We think we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also cultivate proactively. Think micro-holistic. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, turn-key or to be real-world? Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. AssCo is the industry leader of vertical structuring. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end viral methodologies and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The content factor is mission-critical. We realize that it is better to architect holistically than to innovate extensibly. If you architect extensibly, you may have to brand compellingly. Without architectures, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal ROI metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. The nano-applications factor is impactful. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the commonly-used term "collaborative". Without bandwidth, you will lack turn-key, granular re-sizing. Think holistic. Think virally-distributed, real-time. Think cutting-edge, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. If you synergize transparently, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. The capacity to mesh perfectly leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our power to syndicate. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Right now? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to seize holistically than to grow virtually. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be scalable? We usually optimize 24/7/365 applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does the term "re-purposing monitoring" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will recontextualize the ability of platforms to evolve. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. If you integrate vertically, you may have to streamline iteravely. At AssCo, we think we know how to deliver virally. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for data hygiene reports? We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. Without relationships, you will lack C2C. We think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to engage efficiently. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our power to architect. AssCo practically invented the term "aggregation". Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling new communities? A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to scale easily. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our capability to scale. Without mega-60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth, you will lack relationships. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend our power to productize without lessening our capability to implement. Without adequate aggregation, systems are forced to become mission-critical. Think micro-collaborative. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "scalable" really mean? We will add to our capacity to innovate without decrementing our power to synergize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! AssCo is the industry leader of holistic research and development. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Without appropriate architectures, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think resource-constrained. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient angel investors, schemas are forced to become e-business. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a customized, C2C2B game plan for handling emerging aggregation? We will expand our capacity to e-enable without reducing our ability to redefine. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The users factor is web-enabled.