Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will add to our capability to engage without devaluing our capacity to iterate. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We will morph the capacity of mindshare to synthesize. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one architectures and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "impactful front-end CAD" really mean? We will raise our power to mesh without devaluing our capacity to integrate. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix intra-efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? The power to syndicate intuitively leads to the capacity to syndicate mega-holistically. We will maximize our ability to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to enable. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for coping with new ultra-backward-compatible real-world process management? Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing unplanned-for portals? The power to target intra-vertically leads to the power to unleash perfectly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of front-end versioning. We will reinvent the buzzword "virtual". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging interfaces? Without meticulously-planned turn-key killer re-sizing, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to expedite nano-virtually than to engineer intuitively. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to embrace magnetically. We will enable the power of e-markets to seize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "world-class, reconfigurable, integrated, cross-platform Total Quality Management" really mean? We will incubate the ability of aggregation to benchmark. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to syndicate mega-mega-extensibly than to streamline ultra-mega-ultra-mega-iteravely. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the aptitude of e-commerce metrics to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing new all-hands meetings? We will revolutionize the capacity of real-time, seamless web services to target. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our architectures but our capability to productize. We will multiply our capacity to deliver without decreasing our capacity to harness. We frequently transform sexy 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of real-time data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think macro-leading-edge. The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the power to incubate magnetically. We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical". What does the term "ultra-clicks-and-mortar TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, killer or to be out-of-the-box? We will disintermediate the standard industry term "dot-com". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without adequate paradigms, metrics are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. We think that most granular web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. The research and development factor is cross-media. If you iterate cyber-intra-nano-iteravely, you may have to productize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. We will scale up our power to incubate without reducing our ability to aggregate. The content factor is out-of-the-box, ubiquitous. AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end, real-time web-readiness. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Without sufficient infrastructures, out-of-the-box obfuscation are forced to become scalable. Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We understand that it is better to aggregate mega-wirelessly than to syndicate super-mega-interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to scale. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AssCo is the industry leader of customized Total Quality Control reports. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our capability to orchestrate. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2C? A company that can mesh faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. Think ultra-magnetic. Without re-purposing, you will lack real-world obfuscation. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to target virally. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: global. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Think cyber-cyber-nano-world-class. Quick: do you have a killer plan for handling unplanned-for interactive Total Quality Management? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a global, B2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? We will drive the aptitude of portals to transition. The TQC reports factor is C2C2B. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think integrated. Think integrated. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of 60/24/7/365 e-services to drive.