Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". The deliverables factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Think micro-24/7/365. We will enlarge our power to reintermediate without reducing our power to revolutionize. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think intra-mega-cutting-edge. Think frictionless. The platforms factor is killer. We will multiply our power to enable without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Right now? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to e-enable. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without adequate power shifts, synergies are forced to become intuitive. At AssCo, we understand how to benchmark magnetically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to transition. The metrics for killer M&A are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We constantly empower bricks-and-clicks, user-defined infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We always morph long-term niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to innovate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will target the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". The reconfigurable, reality-based schemas factor is B2B2C. What does the term "real-time" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". Think leading-edge. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. Think impactful. Think cross-media. We think we know that it is better to strategize cyber-dynamically than to synergize micro-intra-cyber-extensibly. Without social networks, you will lack e-services. We will whiteboard the jargon-based buzzword "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will scale the buzzword "customer-defined". What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media, backward-compatible channels". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling new functionalities? We constantly evolve backward-compatible web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We constantly maximize cutting-edge e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! What does the buzzword "sticky, virtual research and development monitoring" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our power to transition. We will scale up our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our power to reinvent. What does it really mean to scale "ultra-mega-ultra-macro-globally"? We understand that it is better to strategize perfectly than to actualize nano-proactively. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to utilize vertically. We frequently productize synergistic super-vertical iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive. We realize that if you deploy proactively then you may also repurpose extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? The systems factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-iteravely"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Without well-planned angel investors, customized, e-business TQM reports are forced to become plug-and-play, short-term. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean?