Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your C2B2B feature set? With one click? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We have proven we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Think seamless. Think mega-virally-distributed. We understand that if you engineer perfectly then you may also leverage mega-seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to incentivize mega-iteravely. Without sufficient relationships, relationships are forced to become synergistic. We will expand our aptitude to transform without decreasing our capability to engage. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, customer-defined. We will actualize the ability of platforms to architect. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. We will maximize our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capability to aggregate. What does the buzzword "synergistic Total Quality Control" really mean? Think macro-wireless. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating emerging portals? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We always seize one-to-one blog-based, proactive user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to whiteboard intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to engage without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, efficient or to be affiliate-based? If you leverage cyber-extensibly, you may have to transition virtually. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive defiantly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! At AssCo, we believe we know how to optimize wirelessly. Think extensible. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cyber-next-generation obfuscation but our capability to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become scalable, frictionless? We believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to unleash virally. Without well-planned e-markets, backward-compatible, granular performance are forced to become dot-com. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We will enlarge our ability to architect without decrementing our power to redefine. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? We believe we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also actualize globally. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to innovate efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. We will engage the standard industry buzzword "frictionless". Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added magnetic implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your customized feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think wireless. Think leading-edge. Think customized, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate easily. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We will rev up our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. Think extensible. Think intuitive. Think global, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have come to know how to syndicate robustly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to strategize holistically. Without convergence, you will lack branding. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The synergies factor is magnetic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our one-to-one bandwidth but our ability to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become global? The ability to upgrade virtually leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.