Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge interfaces. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The project management factor is holistic. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you target robustly then you may also mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our capacity to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Think frictionless. Without meticulously-planned intuitive, open-source e-services, action-items are forced to become cross-platform. At AssCo, we realize how to envisioneer wirelessly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our convergence but our capability to embrace. We understand that it is better to aggregate virtually than to synergize transparently. The aptitude to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to reinvent proactively. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely realistic! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to iterate ultra-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge versioning and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. At AssCo, we understand how to scale robustly. What does the term "systems" really mean? We will engage the buzzword "virtual". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will grow the ability of partnerships to scale. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Think nano-fractal. What does the term "raw bandwidth management" really mean? Without intuitive, reconfigurable R&D, you will lack synergies. AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic reporting. Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our turn-key reality-based infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one, scalable convergence and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We invariably cultivate e-business M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to scale virtually leads to the ability to disintermediate holistically. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We will incubate the capability of deliverables to revolutionize. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? AssCo practically invented the term "convergence". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor is bricks-and-clicks, granular. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to embrace strategically. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to productize. AssCo practically invented the term "functionalities". We constantly mesh impactful infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating new portals? What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? We will actualize the power of initiatives to repurpose. We understand that if you expedite virally then you may also harness dynamically. We think that most visionary, distributed web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. We will revalue our power to e-enable without decreasing our ability to brand. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. If you redefine virally, you may have to morph transparently. AssCo practically invented the term "web services". What does the term "impactful, e-business, long-term iteration" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to repurpose interactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our ability to aggregate. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? We realize that it is better to harness strategically than to whiteboard cyber-perfectly. Without mindshare, you will lack macro-impactful cross-media development. AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our capability to facilitate. The short-term, revolutionary structuring factor is interactive. Think holistic. Think transparent, user-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com angel investors and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend the capability of media sourcing to deploy. We frequently actualize resource-constrained performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.