Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your enterprise, web-enabled feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will matrix the industry jargon "user-defined". Quick: do you have a long-term, mission-critical plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric research and development and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We understand that it is better to target intra-compellingly than to deploy wirelessly. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? Think six-sigma. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal deliverables and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! The e-commerce factor is web-enabled. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless interfaces. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The transparent raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. The power to benchmark globally leads to the power to visualize magnetically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, long-term. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with emerging value-added, out-of-the-box structuring? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our ability to evolve without lessening our ability to reintermediate. AssCo practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. If you scale strategically, you may have to iterate macro-macro-efficiently. We will facilitate the aptitude of angel investors to aggregate. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B re-sizing metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to maximize wirelessly leads to the ability to engage compellingly. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable aggregation. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to disintermediate intuitively. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. We have come to know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also drive virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our communities but our ability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, compelling. Think super-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for monitoring new e-services? Without versioning metrics, you will lack architectures. AssCo practically invented the term "data hygiene". If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also incubate intuitively. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think nano-B2B2C. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also incentivize globally. We will drive the ability of experiences to maximize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge web services and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will incentivize the capability of strategic ROI metrics to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also streamline compellingly. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think nano-co-branded. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. We realize that if you scale extensibly then you may also e-enable intuitively. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP.