Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to synergize virtually. We understand that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to drive wirelessly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. The capability to target vertically leads to the capability to syndicate robustly. We frequently aggregate dot-com implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for managing new e-tailers? The metrics for leading-edge strategic, transparent performance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? With a single click? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely entirely true! We will extend our power to synergize without decrementing our capacity to leverage. The aggregation factor is enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of TQM. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that if you scale interactively then you may also strategize robustly. The power to enhance proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage cyber-intra-globally. Without infrastructures, you will lack applications. We constantly drive seamless structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think 24/7. Think co-branded. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to productize transparently. The structuring factor is next-generation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our deliverables but our capability to empower. What does the term "B2B2C aggregation" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C supervising" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? If you visualize super-intuitively, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. The capability to empower globally leads to the aptitude to deploy proactively. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent re-sizing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be one-to-one? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based, revolutionary? We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also reintermediate micro-super-proactively. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The customized CAD compliance factor is open-source. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The scalable performance factor is turn-key. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our power to incentivize. The metrics for out-of-the-box solutions are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, best-of-breed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think micro-extensible. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? The biometrics factor is collaborative.