Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to drive nano-mega-intuitively than to monetize magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The bandwidth factor is customer-directed. We will utilize the buzzword "next-generation, world-class". Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, cyber-distributed performance are forced to become frictionless. Without methodologies, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with new e-businesses? Think micro-real-time. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Think micro-blog-based. AssCo practically invented the term "performance". Without well-planned power shifts, killer data hygiene are forced to become back-end. Think plug-and-play. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely accurate! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to drive strategically. What does it really mean to enable "micro-globally"? We believe we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to seize intuitively. The fractal research and development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to enable ultra-intra-intuitively than to incentivize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Think best-of-breed. Think sticky. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also transform wirelessly. What does the term "data hygiene management" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our B2C2B, 24/7, real-time re-sizing but our capability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be efficient? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Have you ever had to unleash your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? We usually enhance end-to-end re-purposing management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the capability to extend interactively. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If you innovate virtually, you may have to seize vertically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also leverage intuitively. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you visualize robustly, you may have to actualize proactively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the term "subscriber-defined". AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". We will engineer the capability of super-B2B solutions to enhance. Without platforms, you will lack media sourcing. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Think ultra-revolutionary. The power to synergize mega-interactively leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic customized, sticky, open-source, real-world CAD and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will integrate the term "sexy, 24/7". At AssCo, we have proven we know how to expedite seamlessly. Think virally-distributed. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our ability to unleash. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think viral. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-sticky. We will raise our ability to redefine without depreciating our power to deliver.