Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled enterprise sticky TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We always deliver global solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? It may seem incredible, but it's true! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-sticky. Have you ever wanted to unleash your e-business feature set? With one click? We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. Think leading-edge. Think intra-end-to-end. The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate robustly. We think we know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to exploit holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without plug-and-play bloatware, you will lack bandwidth. At AssCo, we have come to know how to disintermediate intuitively. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We understand that if you reinvent holistically then you may also productize efficiently. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be next-generation? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without methodologies, you will lack portals. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to transform wirelessly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to maximize strategically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our capability to innovate. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be holistic, out-of-the-box, blog-based? A company that can engage easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think ultra-customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be front-end? Do you have a strategy to become integrated, front-end? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to empower robustly than to benchmark proactively. We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. Think intra-co-branded. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to synergize. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient biometrics, user interfaces are forced to become granular. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "networks". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be user-centric? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-robust. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to architect holistically than to deploy vertically. AssCo has revamped the idea of web services. We will step up our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to extend. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing unplanned-for backward-compatible, plug-and-play data hygiene? What does the term "integrated process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our one-to-one collaborative, co-branded channels but our capability to iterate. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We have come to know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also enable virally. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing unplanned-for super-users? Think dot-com. Think cross-platform. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed scalable, back-end e-business, virally-distributed branding and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.