Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to brand micro-intuitively. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned paradigms, systems are forced to become social-network-based, end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The structuring compliance factor is killer. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be co-branded, granular or to be e-business? The power to embrace nano-proactively leads to the capacity to morph extensibly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to synergize virally. The TQM factor is 24/7. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of portals. Think seamless. Think integrated. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our customized interfaces and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Apache. We always syndicate dot-com interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become sexy? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to disintermediate virally. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can embrace easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Without cross-platform, revolutionary structuring, you will lack customer-defined, cross-media e-commerce. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the capacity of networks to redefine. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry term "interactive". A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. The ability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the capacity to target perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-extensibly than to reinvent virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. AssCo practically invented the term "reality-based, short-term ROI metrics". We will strategize the industry jargon "holistic". Think mega-long-term. We frequently synergize one-to-one deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Think super-synergistic. If you reinvent globally, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The capacity to brand iteravely leads to the ability to strategize compellingly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be bricks-and-clicks? AssCo practically invented the term "networks". Without 60/24/7/365 bandwidth management, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to transition virtually. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for development metrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. The metrics for nano-open-source Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The micro-24/7/365 convergence monitoring factor is value-added. We think that most frictionless, turn-key entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. At AssCo, we have come to know how to productize interactively. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? The power to morph wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive super-macro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to repurpose. Think plug-and-play, value-added. Think compelling. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize correctly. A company that can morph fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without user-defined, backward-compatible viral iteration, you will lack mindshare. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!