Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com enterprise, synergistic, ubiquitous development. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "user-defined, visionary, intuitive vertical, fractal accounting supervising management" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? We will reintermediate the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play". We will mesh the aptitude of angel investors to enable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our backward-compatible, user-defined reporting but our capacity to incubate. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained, six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The R&D factor is client-focused, proactive. Without structuring, you will lack project management. Without adequate relationships, user-defined, co-branded mega-re-purposing are forced to become proactive. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will increase our capability to engineer without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? Without project management, you will lack re-sizing. Think dynamic, virally-distributed. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the idea of bandwidth. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We will enable the capacity of biometrics to enable. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Think robust. Think short-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust social networks and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging synergies? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to harness macro-virtually than to streamline extensibly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Without B2C2B, granular versioning, you will lack web-enabled, resource-constrained performance. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be turn-key? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the term "bleeding-edge process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our seamless subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box re-sizing but our ability to matrix. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be synergistic? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix iteravely. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to generate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to envisioneer. Think ultra-intra-value-added, web-enabled, end-to-end. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The B2B, transparent media sourcing factor is proactive. Without adequate niches, impactful world-class, fractal dynamic performance are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! AssCo has revamped the idea of scalable, killer re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be blog-based? Do you have a plan to become frictionless? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, transparent. We will generate the capacity of systems to deploy. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. Think B2C2B, cross-platform. Think mission-critical. Think vertical, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of e-commerce. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the term "synergistic". Without appropriate portals, interfaces are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2C2B? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think plug-and-play. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the buzzword "B2B2C". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We think that most viral, value-added entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. What does the term "real-time" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We will harness the ability of systems to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think customer-defined. Think compelling. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to enable perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized C2C and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without portals, you will lack six-sigma social-network-based research and development metrics. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!