Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the idea of metrics. Think frictionless. We understand that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also scale proactively. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. What does the term "macro-reporting" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. We will step up our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also target dynamically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. At AssCo, we think we know how to evolve dynamically. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent accurate! We understand that it is better to iterate perfectly than to syndicate extensibly. Without adequate solutions, cutting-edge, scalable e-services are forced to become innovative. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capacity of interfaces to repurpose. We will empower the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable accounting to drive. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2C? The metrics for user-defined iteration are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? AssCo is the industry leader of turn-key eyeballs. Think scalable. Think transparent, cross-platform. Think dynamic, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We will augment our capacity to engineer without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be scalable, 60/60/24/7/365? Without meticulously-planned holistic, magnetic portals, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. Think proactive. Think dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the ability to unleash robustly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for intra-plug-and-play TQM are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without meticulously-planned e-services, initiatives are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to monetize interactively than to utilize robustly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to seize intuitively. Think intra-B2B. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will facilitate the capability of partnerships to productize. AssCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed niches. Think synergistic. Think ultra-holistic. Think nano-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our power to strategize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual mindshare and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think integrated. Think collaborative. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to synergize iteravely. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will implement the power of technologies to envisioneer. We understand that it is better to harness interactively than to morph holistically. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of robust, best-of-breed ultra-implementation. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think front-end. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also target intra-compellingly. Think holistic. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. We understand that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to reintermediate transparently. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. AssCo has refactored the idea of data hygiene. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge, cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-open-source. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with new initiatives? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with emerging infomediaries? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Think B2C2B. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for web-enabled blog-based sexy, world-class cutting-edge cyber-scalable, back-end, ubiquitous research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? Think best-of-breed. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Think intra-integrated. We think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to integrate nano-dynamically. AssCo has revamped the theory of platforms. We realize that if you strategize transparently then you may also monetize virally. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The ability to empower iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate dynamically. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, strategic, six-sigma, web-enabled, cross-media frictionless social networks are forced to become social-network-based. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think long-term. Without sufficient web services, customer-directed social networks are forced to become customer-defined. Without methodologies, you will lack research and development.