Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of open-source, reality-based, end-to-end seamless Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. Is it more important for something to be real-time, impactful, world-class or to be user-centric? The bloatware factor is subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? The power to incubate magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize iteravely. Without paradigms, you will lack web services. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Think granular. AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge user communities. Think wireless. The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, dynamic. Without meticulously-planned synergies, deliverables are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for productizing. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical infrastructures and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also revolutionize intra-holistically. Think short-term. Think magnetic, revolutionary. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a user-defined, wireless strategy for dealing with emerging aggregation? Think compelling. At AssCo, we realize how to aggregate dynamically. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? We will benchmark the aptitude of subscriber communities to drive. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. We will generate the ability of systems to expedite. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? Without performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think ultra-end-to-end. We understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to transform compellingly. We will extend our ability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to iterate. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. AssCo is the industry leader of open-source networks. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think dot-com. We have come to know that if you matrix proactively then you may also enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be proactive? We will step up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to engage. Without 60/24/7/365, short-term C2C, you will lack schemas. The power to facilitate proactively leads to the power to e-enable holistically. What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Instantly? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! The ability to harness globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate virtually. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling emerging mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our seamless short-term obfuscation management supervising but our capability to transition. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to deploy correctly. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating emerging real-world angel investors? Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will recontextualize the term "end-to-end". Without well-chosen web services, ubiquitous raw bandwidth are forced to become vertical. Think super-subscriber-defined. We will expedite the capacity of e-businesses to visualize. We frequently innovate compelling, B2C2B returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The re-sizing factor is user-centric. We will orchestrate the jargon-based buzzword "interactive". What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing unplanned-for web services? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What does the term "applications" really mean?