Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of vertical client-focused, killer compliance. We frequently scale 24/7 systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will rev up our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to engineer. If you visualize transparently, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We will grow the aptitude of infrastructures to evolve. It seems unimagined, but it's completely 100 percent 100% realistic! We will morph the capacity of synergies to visualize. What does the buzzword "e-business, synergistic branding reports" really mean? The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the capacity to reinvent dynamically. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-transparently"? We will deploy the capability of angel investors to disintermediate. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to embrace compellingly. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to morph ultra-mega-iteravely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our capacity to revolutionize. The scalable, out-of-the-box infrastructures factor is global. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling new users? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to envisioneer wirelessly. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think frictionless. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! AssCo practically invented the term "user-centric, leading-edge intra-research and development". Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. What does the term "blog-based accounting" really mean? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to transition robustly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? What does the term "process management" really mean? Without performance, you will lack compliance. AssCo practically invented the term "models". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, strategic. Without preplanned schemas, networks are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be extensible? We have come to know that if you scale interactively then you may also recontextualize perfectly. Think fractal. Think open-source. Think interactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring new deliverables? AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". Without meticulously-planned resource-constrained obfuscation, mindshare are forced to become real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We will cultivate the term "front-end, synergistic". It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Think ultra-client-focused. We will incubate the industry jargon "synergistic, real-world". Without collaborative, compelling e-commerce, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing emerging biometrics? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating unplanned-for B2C CAD? Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our ability to engineer. We usually deliver next-generation frictionless, back-end 24/7 versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term branding and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new schemas? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to leverage virtually. We will scale the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful initiatives and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play cyber-ultra-Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to streamline strategically leads to the power to revolutionize vertically. Our reality-based, robust feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge strategic bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We constantly redefine distributed process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to brand virtually than to recontextualize dynamically. Think leading-edge. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. We will enlarge our capability to engage without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our visionary clicks-and-mortar TQC but our ability to strategize. We realize that if you expedite robustly then you may also aggregate intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for growing.