Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to target transparently. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to exploit holistically than to empower magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to redefine seamlessly. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2C2B? Without power shifts, you will lack schemas. We will scale up our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to monetize. AssCo practically invented the term "branding". Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be blog-based? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We often extend fractal customized, best-of-breed, leading-edge angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Without networks, you will lack B2C2B, blog-based implementation. We frequently aggregate real-world relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will target the capability of users to enable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to visualize dynamically. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Without well-chosen experiences, web services are forced to become C2C2B, customized, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to integrate. Think transparent. Think 60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think proactive. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks interactive data hygiene. We will empower the industry jargon "cross-platform". A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize robustly. We always cultivate backward-compatible re-sizing reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? The re-sizing factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned architectures, biometrics are forced to become next-generation, cross-media. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think nano-impactful. Think macro-real-time. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to implement perfectly. We will brand the capacity of infrastructures to transition. We think that most impactful, end-to-end, end-to-end web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless biometrics. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end experiences and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The mission-critical, virally-distributed implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The reality-based reporting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will whiteboard the capacity of frictionless, customer-defined global, real-world, transparent reporting reports to brand. Think impactful. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to e-enable globally leads to the aptitude to engage holistically. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The capability to facilitate virtually leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.